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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #26101
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    So sorry about your kitty. Nero is getting older and very arthritic and it breaks my heart.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #26102
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I know, and I don't mean to sound so ungrateful and bratty.
    It's okay if you do(you haven't yet). Remember that most of us are used to dealing with ungrateful and/or bratty on an almost daily basis, in the form of kids or SOs.

    Mandy, so sorry about the BFN. Maybe call the RE and see at what point you should go in?

    Having old pets sucks. It's the price we pay for having them in our lives.
    Last edited by Suja; 11-30-2011 at 11:25 PM.

  3. #26103
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    Bridget, I'm so glad to hear that S has had some good experiences at school. I think a lot of times as parents we tend to think of the negative things they might learn at school and skim over the good stuff. I'm sorry your boyfriend made you cry. You should have told him that he could take the lessons instead to learn to dance himself.

    Myles, dh and I visited Trump Tower when we were in NYC for our honeymoon and I couldn't stop thinking about it being a tower dedicated to gas.

    Sending good heathen vibes to Kate and Mandy. Good luck to both of ya.

    Chrissy, I hope you feel better soon!

    I'm happy to say that my dh shaved that silly facial hair off finally and we got our mojo back. I really didn't like how he looked like Emilio Estevez from that movie Stake Out.

    Katy, I'm sorry about your kitty. We lost our chihuahua last year to old age. She was 17. I've never cried so much in my life than when she died.

    Erin, that's funny about Elle making your dh blush. Kids are good at doing that.

  4. #26104

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    Sorry about your kitty Katy it is hard to have old pets.
    If any of you are wondering if you should take your kids to the muppet movie, do it!! It is so cute. I confess it made me cry. And actually I think adults without kids would enjoy it too.
    Actually I've been emotional a lot lately. I watched Ramona and Beezus with Josh the other day and it made me cry no less than 3 times. And we didn't even watch the whole thing.

  5. #26105
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    I cry at everything, Kate. I didn't know the Muppets had a new movie out!

  6. #26106

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    Yes! Amy Adams, who I really like, is in it.

  7. #26107
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    Bridget I'm sorry he made you cry

    Chrissy many many mama. Were all here to lend an ear whenever you need it!

    Katy, check out my siggy

    Mandy I would call your RE so you could get a blood test done.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  8. #26108
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    Katy & Mandy. Mandy, I really hope you get a bfp soon.

    Katy, I can relate to worrying about your kitty. Mine is also getting old and I'm sure she won't be around much longer. We got her the year we moved into our current house. 1996. She's older than Sydney.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #26109
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    Mandy fingers crossed for you. I'm another one that knew a lady who never got a positive at home but blood work showed she was pg.

    Sorry for all that are having a rough time of it.

    I'm still going round and round with this kid thing. Weird when it's what I have wanted for the past many many many years. But I don't know that DH can handle being the care provider during the day. I feel that he will be miserable and super crabby from lack of sleep. And he's a fairly light sleeper. I think that when we get the call and if we say yes, he's going to regret it in the shorter term. But if we don't do it and say no, I think that long term there will be regret.
    I don't think that we can afford daycare which would be ideal.

    So I have suggested that he think about if he would want his mom to live with us. Crazy sounding I know but I love her and we could finish off the basement for her. The living room down there has a full window as does the bedroom and it's already plummed for a bathroom...framing and full insulation is done too so it's very warm down there. Her dog drives us crazy but he's 12 and won't be around for much longer and likely not by the time we did anything. Her situation is such that last fall her husband asked for a divorce...problem is the house is underwater. He's basically living with his brother and she's in the house and hates living alone...in a city with no family or really friends that she moved to because of him. Her family is about 2 hours north in Milwaukee. Dh is her only child and they are close so it's good that I'm close to her. There are a few things that bug me about her but well there are things that bug me about DH or just about anyone. She is going to be 61 in a few months and I think could technically start drawing SSI and retirement at 62. If she didn't live with us, I don't think that there would be enough money for her to be able to help us with babysitting (which I know she would LOVE to do if at all financially possible). Or maybe just work something part-time and even that would probably be super helpful for DH not to have to be on child care duty.
    Another big bonus would be someone to watch the house and dogs for us if we wanted to take a weekend out of town. We have lived here 5 years now and keep meaning to do that but don't have anyone to watch Cosmo and I can't kennel her...she is just too needy and sensitive...and now we have Molly.

    Funny thing is, I am more into the idea of his mom with us than he is. He's not against it but he also doesn't like change and definitely needs to think about it.

    I wish that I made more money and he could just be a SAHD....it's the trying to do that and working 3rd shift that I don't think he can handle.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #26110
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    Working 3rd shift is very rough when you have a little one. I did it when Sydney was a baby and I did have to pay a babysitter so I could sleep. There was no way around it. Bobbie and Jesi would get on the bus to school and Joni would pick Sydney up and I'd go to bed. I generally got to sleep 9-3. Not ideal, but staying up all day till Rich got home wouldn't have worked out at all.

    While he considers his mom moving in, you can check around and see what daycare would really cost. Perhaps you'll find someone that you'd trust enough to provide in-home daycare at a lower rate. My parents had different sahm's care for my brother and I and I have fond memories of them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #26111
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    Jennifer, it's always good to plan ahead. I know a couple that worked opposite shifts to make sure the kids were never left home alone. It was tough on them, tough on their marriage. Beyond help, it is also important for kids to know their extended family, IMO.

    Had my keratin treatment done. Took only 2 hours, even with my long hair and a haircut. I have to leave the product in for 72 hours, not get it wet, not get soap on it, not put it on a ponytail, etc. i'm okay with that - just wash before hopping on the plane.

  12. #26112
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    How exciting! Can you use normal shampoo with it, or did you have to buy something special? Did they say if that sort of thing can be done on hair that's already somewhat unhealthy?

    Mind is very thin and fine and breaks very easy. If I use a hot iron, I can gently pull at my tips and have chunks of the bottoms of my strands break right off. Even knowing this, I still flat ironed my hair the other day.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #26113
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    I think that actually sounds like a really good idea Jennifer. I agree that working 3rd shift and taking care of a NB all day would definitely be rough.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #26114
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    Thats neat Suja, let us know how you like it!

    Oh and I forgot to tell you I tried the soap! Other than scratching myself (you warned me didn't you ) I love it! My skin felt SO soft and just clean!! No itchy, scratchy dry feeling that I normally have after getting out of the shower

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  15. #26115
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    Can you tell a difference already with the treatment and do you like it?

    So you all don't think I'm totally crazy than? The puppy has been eye-opening because she can sleep pretty well at night for me and I only get up once (which I do anyway because I drink too much liquid at night)....but it's been much harder for DH to get a decent stretch of sleep during the day. When we got Cosmo, he was 3rd shift but only 3 nights a week on the weekend so it was much easier for him.
    It just feels like it would be the most win-win for all if his mom was with us. She would be much happier and not lonely, we would have other family near us, and we would have help. And probably the most economical for all.
    I would probably have to give up a little though...she's a smoker (tries to quit but never seems to work well) and DH suggested that if we did this that she be allowed to smoke in her bedroom downstairs (not the living room area) and run an air filter. I wonder if it was contained to one room downstairs with an air filter and door closed if it would affect upstairs? We already allow it in the garage when she visits (she goes outside but if it's really cold or raining, the garage it is).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #26116
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    Can you tell a difference already with the treatment and do you like it?

    So you all don't think I'm totally crazy than? The puppy has been eye-opening because she can sleep pretty well at night for me and I only get up once (which I do anyway because I drink too much liquid at night)....but it's been much harder for DH to get a decent stretch of sleep during the day. When we got Cosmo, he was 3rd shift but only 3 nights a week on the weekend so it was much easier for him.
    It just feels like it would be the most win-win for all if his mom was with us. She would be much happier and not lonely, we would have other family near us, and we would have help. And probably the most economical for all.
    I would probably have to give up a little though...she's a smoker (tries to quit but never seems to work well) and DH suggested that if we did this that she be allowed to smoke in her bedroom downstairs (not the living room area) and run an air filter. I wonder if it was contained to one room downstairs with an air filter and door closed if it would affect upstairs? We already allow it in the garage when she visits (she goes outside but if it's really cold or raining, the garage it is).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #26117
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    I think it's a great idea to think about having her move in with you. Have you ever talked about that with her? Do you think she'd like it too? I'm guessing you have a pretty good idea about how she'd feel about it, since you're considering it as an option already.

    I have to say, I think if you allow her to smoke in your house you're going to eventually smell it all over. And I'm a smoker myself. My kids can smell it on me when I come inside from smoking and sometimes it's so strong I've been accused of actually smoking in the house (and I have not!). I'd never smoke in my house.

    Our basement isn't finished, but when Rich was downstairs working on the bathroom plumbing I could smell his cigarette as if he were smoking in the upstairs part of the house. I gave him hell for it. I won't allow smoking even in our basement because I don't want it in our house. Cigarette smoke has an awful ability to permeate everything.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #26118
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    I don't think your crazy at all. My mom AND dad moved in with us while I was pregnant. Between DH going through (I think it was) layoff number 4 and my dad also loosing his job, Nolan on the way, it just made more sense for us to combine our forces.

    I doubt in one room with ventilation that it would really have an impact on the rest of the house-although if she's a heavy smoker the room could get pretty stinky!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  19. #26119
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    They gave me shampoo and conditioner. But, you can use any shampoo that doesn't have sulfates in it. The lady said at the initial consult that anyone can use it on any type of hair, that it is healthy, and makes existing hair healthier. My hair looks/feels just like it does after a regular work-up involving the flat iron.

  20. #26120
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    They gave me shampoo and conditioner. But, you can use any shampoo that doesn't have sulfates in it. The lady said at the initial consult that anyone can use it on any type of hair, that it is healthy, and makes existing hair healthier. My hair looks/feels just like it does after a regular work-up involving the flat iron.

  21. #26121

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    I'm such a dork! My appt. isn't until next Thursday! Groan...
    I personally would be really uncomfortable with one of our parents living with us (the level of discomfort depending on which parent it is!) but I would probably rather get used to it than worry about them living alone or in a home.

    I also suggest that since she is a smoker and you're planning on having a child someday, that you set really firm guidelines about that before the baby gets here. I would either say she smokes outside or in her room with the door shut and the baby would never be allowed to go in there.

    Both my inlaws smoke and they kinda do it wherever they want and they're totally gross about it, and I wish I'd set firmer guidelines about that before Josh was born.

    Glad your hair appt. went well Suja!

  22. #26122

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    Sorry about cat Katy I lost my precious kitty 4 years ago, he lived to be 17. I still miss him. He was the greatest cat I've ever had, he was so friendly and loving. It's hard when you lose a pet, but the pain is so worth the joy.

    I am so allergic to smoke I wouldn't ever allow smoking in my house, especially if you are adopting in the future.

    I would love to take G to see the new Muppet movie, but he doesn't know who the Muppets are! When I was little I lived for The Muppet Show and any Muppet movie. I saw they have a Muppet 8 ball out, I secretly want one for myself. Stupid I know.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  23. #26123
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    We don't live with my in-laws but we live right next door. We don't have a fence up between the houses, so Travis thinks he lives with his grandparents 90% of the time. I think that if you have a great relationship with your MIL, then having her move in is a great idea. My in-laws help so much. We don't expect them to help at all, but because overall we're a small family unit, they are a big part of our lives.

  24. #26124
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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    I would love to take G to see the new Muppet movie, but he doesn't know who the Muppets are! When I was little I lived for The Muppet Show and any Muppet movie. I saw they have a Muppet 8 ball out, I secretly want one for myself. Stupid I know.
    That ain't stupid; that's cool!

  25. #26125
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    Yeah the smoke doesn't bother me really (well like if we are in a car it does!) but it does bother DH with his allergies. But I was thinking that if the window was open some of the time and her bedroom door closed (and there is another door at the basement stairs that is always closed) and an air filter ran....maybe it would be ok.

    Ideally she would quit smoking but she's been doing it since her teens (including while pg with DH). After watching her mom die of copd in august, she was pretty strong about trying to quit again and started taking chantix. It did seem like she went outside less often during Thanksgiving.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  26. #26126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Oh and I forgot to tell you I tried the soap! Other than scratching myself (you warned me didn't you ) I love it! My skin felt SO soft and just clean!! No itchy, scratchy dry feeling that I normally have after getting out of the shower
    I didn't like the getting scratched up part, and got some Dudu Osun this time. It's a good soap, but too perfum-y for my liking. The odd thing is that the smell seems to dissipate after the shower, so at least I don't walk around smelling strongly of soap. I think the soap you have works best if you turn it into liquid soap first.

    The salon I had my hair done had a sign that said 'Unattended children will be served a double espresso and given a puppy'. I loved that. Also, massage chairs where they wash the hair. The stylist didn't talk to me much, but that's 'cause I was too busy catching up on US Weekly magazine gossip, I think.

    I don't allow smoking in any part of the house. It doesn't matter which corner you do it in, the smell eventually permeates everything, including the walls.

  27. #26127
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    I'm just putting a lesson plan together to teach about exclamation points and question marks to the 5th graders tomorrow; I'm thinking I might get them to play that game they played on "Whose Line is it Any Way?" where you went back and forth between people and could only ask questions....do y'all think they could do that or will that be a dud? Most of them are 9 or 10 years old.

  28. #26128

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    Quote Originally Posted by raspberry View Post
    Sorry about cat Katy I lost my precious kitty 4 years ago, he lived to be 17. I still miss him. He was the greatest cat I've ever had, he was so friendly and loving. It's hard when you lose a pet, but the pain is so worth the joy.

    I am so allergic to smoke I wouldn't ever allow smoking in my house, especially if you are adopting in the future.

    I would love to take G to see the new Muppet movie, but he doesn't know who the Muppets are! When I was little I lived for The Muppet Show and any Muppet movie. I saw they have a Muppet 8 ball out, I secretly want one for myself. Stupid I know.
    Josh doesn't really know who they are either! We saw the muppet Christmas Carol recently, but that's all he really knows. I've had some muppet show seasons on netflix for a while. I think I'm going to bump them up the list.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I'm just putting a lesson plan together to teach about exclamation points and question marks to the 5th graders tomorrow; I'm thinking I might get them to play that game they played on "Whose Line is it Any Way?" where you went back and forth between people and could only ask questions....do y'all think they could do that or will that be a dud? Most of them are 9 or 10 years old.
    I think that would be awesome! I love that show

  29. #26129
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    I don't really know the muppets all that well myself. I mean I know some of them but wasn't really into them when they were big when I was little.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #26130

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    I also think it is a good idea for your MIL to move in if you all have a good relationship. I would be iffy about the smoking though only because I am asthmatic and am allergy prone and I cannot take smoke. DH is a smoker and really I don't have anything against smokers or smoking in general but I don't allow any smoking in the house at all. DH has never even asked about smoking in the house. He knows it is bad for children so he goes outside to smoke all the time. He also doesn't smoke in the car anymore but that took a while to get through his head. I had to actually start wheezing to get him to stop. He'd smoke when he was alone driving so no one else was in the vehicle but once I got in, I would get a headache and have problems breathing. Last night he was smoking as well and it was very strong and I had to ask him to change his jacket and sweater because it was making my head hurt. Now that I think about it, I had that headache I was complaining about due to his smoke. See one more thing I don't b!tch about yet he does about going to a the wrong McDonald's.

    I must have missed the post about the black soap. I have never used Dudu Osun because of the smell, it is too strong and only use some from a local Atlanta company. They are Ghanaian immigrants and make a great product that is sold in different black hair care stores in our area and online. Plus I love that they always mess up orders so I end up getting a dozen bars for free LOL! My mom got 36 bars for free since we buy it by the dozen and a dozen jars of lemongrass shea butter. We all got soap and shea butter for Christmas last year. The soap is scratchy though if you just rub it on the skin. I never do that and just use a poof or wash cloth since it is really sudsy and the granules come off on the wash cloth and exfoliate as well without all the roughness. I also use it to wash my hair, it is a very gentle shampoo.

    I never liked the Muppets. When I was a kid if a show wasn't about kids I didn't like it. I was a weirdo!! I liked the Muppet Babies cartoon though and Animal just because he was crazy but the others, not so much. DH is just ecstatic about the new Muppet Movie and wants to go see it. I told him he could take the kids or just Ky since he didn't get to go see Puss in Boots and he is still upset he didn't get to go (even though he got to go be Lord of Flies without too much violence and no death, thank goodness, at a mansion in a gated community with more toys than he ever thought one person could have).

    Erin

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