Secular Confessions

[beanpop]

I scanned the last three pages

Jennifer, it's too bad I JUST now saw you were having issues. I kill viruses on computers at least once a week as a part of my job - I could have taken care of it for you remotely during some down time at work! (Like right now ) Oh well, in the future if you need computer help just hit me up.

Christina, you should get an amber teething necklace! If for no reason but because they're super cute Maddy got one two weeks ago. She has started sleeping better at night but I don't know if I buy into the whole thing behind it

Lydia, your sister makes me so angry. I have no patience for people like that - they think everyone's lives should revolve around them. Don't even waste any negative energy on her - I've already wasted enough

Bridget, why are you not sure you want to wear your ring now? Did everything happen with your DBF in the last 2 years?

Suja, Mira cracks me up. I'm sorry that you've had such a rough go of it with her sleep issues and everything.

Myles, I'm sorry you had such a rough day

I went shopping today, spent way too much money, but ooooh it was fun! I found out one of my favorite breweries came out with their winter seasonal ale so I grabbed a 6 pack. These things shouldn't excite me so much

[AmeriBrit]

Hooray for ale, Karen! I need to get some mulled wine next time I go grocery shopping. It's that time of the year!

Erin, I still stick by that you need to find an English lady for your ironing. I never used to iron, but once I moved over here, I quickly learned to do it. It just gets in your blood when you live here. It's one of the conversational topics that I overhear a lot of times when I'm out with the kids. How much ironing you have. How big the pile is. Who does your ironing, etc. One of Travis' friend's mum was telling me yesterday that her husband sends his work shirts to an ironing service because he doesn't like how she irons them. I thought to myself at least we haven't got that bad yet. Lol.

L, I agree with Suja on the ending a sentence with a preposition. It's one of those rules that I think is outdated.

Myles, your day sounds like a whopper! That totally sounds like something that would happen to me. Oh, I was meaning to ask you about whether your husband plays any instruments since we were talking about studios and stuff? My Rich is a guitarist.

Today is house cleaning day for me. I'm going to try to get Cash to take a nap so that I can mop all the wood floors and then we'll see what I get done after that.

[Bridget]

OMG I just woke up at 4:45 am remembering I hung Sawyer's diapers on line yesterday and never took them down! I just had to go out in the pitch dark pouring, freezing rain to get them! BrrrrrRRR! I kept thinking I saw shadows and was totally spooked!

Karen, I took the ring off when he cheated. That's how it got lost. I took it off because I felt like the promises made when he gave me the ring were pretty much void at that point. I guess if I just get over the symbolism and look at it as nothing more than a pretty ring I can just wear it.

Dbf's been doing a lot of deep cleaning lately. I asked him if he was nesting because it's the kind of weird stuff pregnant woman do. He's pulled everything out of several cupboards, scrubbed them down, organized. It's awesome.

[beanpop]

Oh man, that sucks Bridget! It's COLD outside here, I couldn't imagine having to go outside in the middle of the night. Honestly I think I would have left them there

That makes sense. I wouldn't wear it either if I were you.

I wish my DBF would take a hint from yours and clean...period! I'm so tired of having to clean EVERYTHING. The 4 days that I work the apartment completely falls apart and I just don't have enough time on my days off to even get it presentable again. Ugh.

I feel like $hit. This staying up until 5am thing sucks. I hate my work schedule.

Enough whining, I'm going home

[Bridget]

Eh, I'm wearing it now. He actually had a tear in his eye when he came running down to tell me he found it. Not sure if that was a sentimental tear or a monetary tear though.
Lydia, your sister is a trip.
Ash, I love the visual of ladies standing around discussing ironing. It sounds so old fashioned and I adore old fashioned.
Karen, what is your schedule exactly? Are you gone all day and night? I worked nights when Savana was a baby and it SUCKED. But I didn't want to be away from her during the day.

We are really getting serious about finding a place on the Big Island of hawaii. The properties we are looking at are amazing. Like, take your breath away amazing. And the prices have dropped significantly over the past couple of years. Just this morning dbf showed me a coffee/orchid/fruit tree "hobby farm" and now I can't stop thinking about it. I just wish that pesky ocean wouldn't divide me from my sweet dad and brother They HAVE to come! And no, I have not approached the subject yet. I'm afraid they are both going to be . They hated when we lived so far away. And of course they have their own feelings that they respectfully keep to themselves regarding dbf. Actually, I take that back. My brother lets me know. But they both are adamant that if I love him, they love him. Best men ever.

[missychrissy]

We are really getting serious about finding a place on the Big Island of hawaii. The properties we are looking at are amazing. Like, take your breath away amazing. And the prices have dropped significantly over the past couple of years. Just this morning dbf showed me a coffee/orchid/fruit tree "hobby farm" and now I can't stop thinking about it. I just wish that pesky ocean wouldn't divide me from my sweet dad and brother They HAVE to come! And no, I have not approached the subject yet. I'm afraid they are both going to be . They hated when we lived so far away. And of course they have their own feelings that they respectfully keep to themselves regarding dbf. Actually, I take that back. My brother lets me know. But they both are adamant that if I love him, they love him. Best men ever.

You're right, they are the best men ever. I love them just because they love him because you love him.

and good luck with finding a place in Hawaii! How exciting!!

I took my engagement ring off because I had gained weight after quitting smoking. I didn't want to resize it first because I didn't think I'd stay big, and then I was reluctant to do it because it weakens the band every time you do it. After I started smoking again, it was found and it fits.

I'm wearing it now and actually plan on wearing it forever probably. I love the ring and even if things don't work out between Rich & I, it represents some really great times in my life that I wouldn't trade for nothing.

[Smplyme89]

Bridget they should like such sweethearts We've talked about moving quite a few tims. If we ever do it will be with my Mom and Dad in tow, without a doubt

My wedding band was bought by my BIL & SIL since I guess in BIL's family (he's from Mexico) or something it is traditional for the God Parents to buy the wedding bands Since DH and I don't have God Parents, they bought them for us, but DH broke his and mine doesn't fit Now I wear my Great Grandmother's engagement ring from her 2nd (I'm not positive about that) marriage. It's pretty and gets across the point that I am married, so thats all that matters to me.

[missychrissy]

My "never ending circle of love without beginning and without end" snapped in half shortly after we were married I wear Rich's and he wears none as about 90% of the stuff he does involves hand tools and wearing a ring poses a risk.

[Smplyme89]

Speaking of which, I think thats what DH is getting for Christmas. A new wedding band, I want my man to be marked! <- I'm just kidding of course

[daylilies]

I lost my rings once! I took them off when I was cooking and put them in my pocket. Later on we went out to dinner and I put my keys in my pocket. I guess the rings fell out when I took out my keys later. I called the restaurant and someone who worked there had found them in the parking lot, in the dark.

[demigraf]

Bridget, I selfishly want you to go to Hawaii. Go now. Because I would absolutely positively get to meet you at some point. Our dear friends who have the coffee/macnut/aquaponic farm are in Honaunau (by Capt Cook). Are you looking near there? The swimming in that corner of the island is mind-blowing. I mean, compared to the small snorkel bays that tourists flock to on other islands. I liken it to the difference between a national park and a little city park. The coral beds are healthy, vibrant and pristine. An underwater wilderness. It makes my heart race to think about it, seriously. You could explore the water for miles. Some other friends are moving there in 5 yrs to install a telescope on Mauna Kea.

I understand the hesitation to move so far away, though, having scoped out a move ourselves. You'd think there'd be no pause. But we're not ready at this point especially with my dad getting sick. Our cold beaches will have to do for now.

[Ky'sMom]

I am constantly afraid of losing my rings. I don't have a traditional "wedding ring" of sorts as DH and I didn't have a wedding as I chose to buy our house instead of having a wedding. I do plan on having one on our 10th anniversary though. But DH did buy me a ring and it is okay but it is not my style of ring. But I thought it sweet that he bought it for me. It is too big though. I joke with DH that he thinks I'm fatter than I really am (I joke with him but I do believe he thinks I'm fatter than I am but it doesn't bother me anymore like it used to so I can joke about it with him). The ring is really huge on my finger. I told DH he must think I have sausage digits to have bought a ring that big. I am going to take it to get resized and maybe sell the extra pieces of gold whenever I get the time to do so. I don't wear it because I'm afraid it will fall off. He bought me another ring that is really nice a couple years before we were married. I don't wear that one because he is always telling me that it was "expensive" but he won't tell me how much it cost and I don't want to lose something that is expensive and I am horrible with keeping up with jewelry.

I have a couple other rings that were my grandmother's. She was really into gold and they are rather thick and are worth quite a bit now due to the price of gold and I rarely wear them either because I don't want to lose them. She had both of them on when her church was robbed during service on Sunday in 2004. She had end stage lung cancer at the time and told the robber he would have to kill her to get her rings. When he threatened her she said she didn't care since she had cancer and was going to die soon anyway and the only way he was going to get her rings was to pull them off her dead hand. It was all over the news in my hometown and people were telling me how "gangsta" my grandma was LOL! But I don't want to risk losing her rings. They are the only things that I have from her because she gave away most of her possessions when she found out she had cancer. She died a month after the robbery occurred and she was the only person in church who actually didn't get robbed. One of my great aunts was there as well with her grand kids who were 8 and 10 years old and they put a gun to my little cousins head and even took her change purse. My grandma was the last in line to get robbed and they didn't get anything from her.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Oh Erin. Your grandmother sounds like she was a tough woman! Bless her heart. I'm glad you have her rings.

I don't own a lot of jewelry at all...I guess I've always waited for other people to buy it for me?! lol...Rich did get me an expensive (for us) pair of opal earrings for Christmas last year and I've worn them every day since. My mother just got me a silver heart shaped necklace for my birthday. Besides my wedding/engagement rings, that's all I own. I've been told I will get a diamond ring my father bought for his mother when he was in Vietnam.

[Smplyme89]

Erin your grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman!

[Cosmosmom]

OMG Erin...wow. How awful for your family to get robbed like that.

I have a number of rings that I mostly bought for myself when I was younger but don't wear much anymore. I do wear all the time though the gold rope chain I bought when I was 14 and it has a medic alert charm attached to it. It says on the back that I have a penicillin allergy and that I had an rny gastric bypass (since the stomach sits up higher and ends sooner than a normal person and about 5 ft of small intestine are bypassed). Really the bigger concern is the penicillin allergy though.

Dh was smart and didn't buy a ring before officially proposing. What we did was agree on a price....but than I called him and told him that my aunts friend had picked up an engagement ring and wedding band set from an estate sale and I was in love. It was 1200....we had agreed on 700. He had the money and it was a GREAT deal because the ring has a pretty high quality 1 carat diamond solitare and the set appraises for about 7 times what we paid for it. It's got an old-fashioned feel to it and I like that the solitare sits low to my hand so I'm not banging it into things. I LOVE it and have been wearing it over 11 years...and the wedding band for over 8 years. I didn't wear it for a while after the surgery though because it was too big and I did have to resize it once. To this day I will catch a glimpse of it and think, d*mn I love my ring.

[Suja]

I have a lot of jewelry, mostly from my wedding, and I wear none of it. It drives my MIL crazy, and when we went home for my SIL's wedding (many moons ago), she actually pulled me aside and asked me nicely if I could put some jewelry on, just for the occasion I was going to do that anyway, but I don't think I'd ever wear enough to satisfy some people.

Routinely, I wear no jewelry except a ring. Haven't worn my wedding band since the day we got married. Neither has DH. For our 10th anniversary, DH surprised me with a very nice ring and a matching bracelet (he went to great lengths to fabricate some story about someone needing help with jewelry for his girlfriend and solicited my opinion, then recruited my friends in picking these out - all behind my back, which I frankly didn't think he was capable of). Now, I wear that ring all the time.

Funny thing is that when I went to see a neurologist for hand tremors (not Parkinson's), she asked me to hold out my hand to see, and then goes 'Oh, that's a really nice ring, where'd you get it?' Ummm... really?

[Suja]

Erin, your grandma rocks! And you're a woman after my own heart, choosing house over wedding (my mom told me that if it were up to her, she'd buy me some land in India instead of all the jewelry that she got me for the wedding).

[demigraf]

Great story about your gangsta gramma, Erin. (omg... so funny - autocorrect started to suggest "gangster" but stopped when it saw "gangsta". Like it was saying, "that's fine. we're cool with that word." or maybe it just felt threatened by it and backed off. Lol!)

I only wear my wedding band (I had a jeweler copy a Tiffany design) post-baby because my engagement ring is too sharp. I cut B a few times when B's was a baby and still lift him a lot, so until I stop having to hoist kids, the pointy ring stays in its box.

When DH proposed to me, he used a hideous bubblegum pink glass ring. I took one look at it and him down on one knee, and the thought that went thru my head was: "oh well, this will be the first of many times I'll settle for less than I'd hoped because I love this man." Turns out he'd left the real ring at home because we were out of the country at the time and he was afraid to bring it. The real ring is simple and delicate and not completely to my taste, but I love it because DH went to great pains to research diamonds and pick this one out, and in a way it shows me he sees me as more rare and precious (and girly!) than I see myself. In fact, he'd bought one ring for me, but couldn't take his mind off this one he'd been contemplating, which was a little bit more. So he took the first one back and exchanged it for the one he gave me.

He lost his own hammered white gold wedding band 3 months after our wedding. He was surprised I didn't get mad at him. I just bought him a silver lookalike on ebay. Then another few months go by and he finds his ring up in the towels where he'd left it while folding laundry. So now his silver lookalike ring and my pink bubblegum fake engagement ring hang out in the box with my engagement ring. They're all friends.

[missychrissy]

So now his silver lookalike ring and my pink bubblegum fake engagemet ring hang out in the box with my engagement ring. They're all friends.

[daylilies]

I have lots of jewelry I never wear. I feel bad because I think it's pretty but it just doesn't fit my style.

[demigraf]

Ah, found a pic on my FB page. Here are our (underwater) hands the day after our wedding.

[missychrissy]

Very pretty!

[demigraf]

Suja, did you have an Indian wedding with the henna-painted hands, the walking around the fire and all the other beautiful traditions? I've been to two Indian weddings in Los Angeles, since my cousin married an Indian woman and then I went to her sister's wedding a few years later. I would purposely go out of my way to get invited to an Indian wedding, and am dying to be invited to one actually in India. The colors and the food and the dancing are so joyous. Perhaps if I still know you when it's Mira's turn... .

ETA: I'm guessing that when I say "Indian" I might mean "Hindu" specifically? I imagine the wedding traditions differ by region, faith, etc.

[Ky'sMom]

Great story about your gangsta gramma, Erin. (omg... so funny - autocorrect started to suggest "gangster" but stopped when it saw "gangsta". Like it was saying, "that's fine. we're cool with that word." or maybe it just felt threatened by it and backed off. Lol!)

I only wear my wedding band (I had a jeweler copy a Tiffany design) post-baby because my engagement ring is too sharp. I cut B a few times when B's was a baby and still lift him a lot, so until I stop having to hoist kids, the pointy ring stays in its box.

When DH proposed to me, he used a hideous bubblegum pink glass ring. I took one look at it and him down on one knee, and the thought that went thru my head was: "oh well, this will be the first of many times I'll settle for less than I'd hoped because I love this man." Turns out he'd left the real ring at home because we were out of the country at the time and he was afraid to bring it. The real ring is simple and delicate and not completely to my taste, but I love it because DH went to great pains to research diamonds and pick this one out, and in a way it shows me he sees me as more rare and precious (and girly!) than I see myself. In fact, he'd bought one ring for me, but couldn't take his mind off this one he'd been contemplating, which was a little bit more. So he took the first one back and exchanged it for the one he gave me.

He lost his own hammered white gold wedding band 3 months after our wedding. He was surprised I didn't get mad at him. I just bought him a silver lookalike on ebay. Then another few months go by and he finds his ring up in the towels where he'd left it while folding laundry. So now his silver lookalike ring and my pink bubblegum fake engagement ring hang out in the box with my engagement ring. They're all friends.

So funny!!! The intimidated auto correct and your rings hanging out in the ring box. I can imagine their conversations!

OMG Erin...wow. How awful for your family to get robbed like that.

Yeah, it was big news in our hometown. I was living there at the time and everyone couldn't believe that someone would come into a church, on Sunday, during service and rob the congregation at gunpoint. My aunt and grandma were both really POd about it. My aunt was on TV saying how those robbers would "burn in hell" and everyone called me about it since our last name is rather unique and everyone with my last name is more than likely related to me. So everyone thought my aunt was my grandma (she is my dad's aunt so we have the same surname) and not my actual grandma and when they found out my co-workers all talked about my gangsta granny for a couple weeks.

Erin

[Bridget]

Erin, your grandma sounds like a hell of woman. How terrifying that the whole congregation was robbed!!
Myles, that is such a sweet picture.
Suja, I had a gyno comment on my hip tattoo once and ask me who Mark was. Let's keep the chit-chat minimal here mmmmkay?

No wedding here either. I don't know what happened but we never got around to it. I suppose we bought a house instead too since I pretty much came into the relationship flying by the seat of my pants living paycheck to paycheck (or tip night to tip night). Dbf sunk his whole life savings into this house. From Hawaii to Wisconsin. Not the life plan he imagined. One thing I will be forever grateful for. I got to spend the last 2 years of my mom's life with her. I really feel like I need to let him get back to Hawaii where he belongs.
And speaking of jewelry, a few years ago for Christmas, dbf got me this crazy thick gold necklace with rubies (I think?) and diamonds. I was and am so confused by that. I never go anywhere to wear jewelry like that. So it sits in my closet now and we are just now figuring out the best way to sell it so we can raise money to pay our car insurance. He tries to act all offended that I never wear it but it would be totally ridiculous of me to wear it any of the places I go.

[missychrissy]

Rich & I got married by a JP. It cost $10 and I think the short, white lacy dress I wore was something like $85. We decided to just do it because we had always intended on getting married and had lived together (and had two children) for 3 years already. When they were born, I gave them Rich's last name because I didn't want to go through the trouble of changing their last names when we did get married. It was (and is) important to me to have the same last name as my kids...and in that I am traditional. I don't regret taking Rich's last name at all.

[Suja]

Suja, did you have an Indian wedding with the henna-painted hands, the walking around the fire and all the other beautiful traditions? I've been to two Indian weddings in Los Angeles, since my cousin married an Indian woman and then I went to her sister's wedding a few years later. I would purposely go out of my way to get invited to an Indian wedding, and am dying to be invited to one actually in India. The colors and the food and the dancing are so joyous. Perhaps if I still know you when it's Mira's turn... .

ETA: I'm guessing that when I say "Indian" I might mean "Hindu" specifically? I imagine the wedding traditions differ by region, faith, etc.

Your rings look beautiful, Myles.

I did have a traditional Indian wedding, but my particular community, our weddings are very, very simple. My wedding was so long ago all the pictures are actually in print and not digital, but I'll see if there is something I can dig up.

You're completely correct about wedding traditions differing by regions, faiths, etc. Hinduism has several different 'sects' within it, each with its own customs, and then those change further depending on which part of the country you're from. Our weddings are, unfortunately, pretty solemn affairs. Fortunately for the bride and groom though, it's over in the blink of an eye, which you don't appreciate until you've had to sit in a hall in front of a fire, surrounded by a thousand people, when it is 110 degrees outside (air conditioned venues are a fairly recent thing).

[AmeriBrit]

You'll have to tell us more about Hinduism, Suja; it sounds like a fascinating religion.

I wear my "eternity" ring and I love it. I got it last year for Christmas. My wedding ring is too big for me now since I lost 25 pounds the year after we got married.

Erin, your Gran sounds like a strong lady. I bet you sure do miss her.

[raspberry]

Erin, that is terrible about your grandma, but I love the feisty reply she gave the robbers.

I am not a jewelry wearer at all, I wear my engagement/wedding ring and that is it. I used to wear earrings, but I must be allergic to the metal now, so they all sit in my jewelry box. My mother loved jewelry, she had a lot of rings, bracelets, necklaces. She died 1 year before dh and I got engaged. My dh knew how much my mother's jewelry meant to me, so he took one of her rings, and had a jewelry friend of his design a ring using her diamonds. It's very simple, a low profile band with 3 diamonds. It means the world to me.

For dh we bought a cheapo walmart band just for the ceremony, he had no intentions on wearing a wedding ring. He only wears a watch. My mil told me that most English men don't wear wedding rings. I don't know. My mil likes to state her opinion as fact.

Mylah, very pretty rings.

Suja, I too would like to hear about Hindu. I think I would like to take a religion class, they do fascinate me, all the religions of the world.

[demigraf]

]

Myles, your day sounds like a whopper! That totally sounds like something that would happen to me. Oh, I was meaning to ask you about whether your husband plays any instruments since we were talking about studios and stuff? My Rich is a guitarist.

Sorry, I just saw this. Yeah, my DH plays guitar, but please don't get me started on the amount of storage space required by his amp/instruments he rarely plays. Even though the program he did was in record engineering, he still had to audition and play in an ensemble to get the degree.

Suja, pics would be great! Really, though - 1000 people? Are you royalty and not telling us?