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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #25051
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    Common sense is in no way tied to education. And you don't have to be smart to get a degree, you need to have good learning/test taking skills. That said, some degrees are worth more than others, IMO.

    My parents' expectations were that their children would do better in life than they did, and part of that was getting a better education (both have Bachelor's degrees). My expectation for my child is the same, that she would do better in life than both her parents, including her education (both of us have Master's, we both dropped out of our terminal degree programs). I can understand if academics is really not her thing and her passion lies elsewhere. And I will support her as long as she's being sensible about it (for instance, if she wants to major in dance, that's okay with me as long as she also majors in something that will get her a decent job that puts food on the table).

    Gwenn, I really don't understand your sister's comments at all. It's *great* that you found employment in the area of your studies, and it's actually a field you find rewarding and fulfilling. Sour grapes, methinks.
    Last edited by Suja; 11-05-2011 at 09:04 PM.

  2. #25052
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    "they" are saying that this generation is the first generation that is expected to do 'less well' than their parents. That alone makes me anxious for my kids...of course we want better for our kids than what we had, but we have to also give them realistic goals that they can actually accomplish.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #25053
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Common sense is in no way tied to education. And you don't have to be smart to get a degree, you need to have good learning/test taking skills. That said, some degrees are worth more than others, IMO.

    My parents' expectations were that their children would do better in life than they did, and part of that was getting a better education (both have Bachelor's degrees). My expectation for my child is the same, that she would do better in life than both her parents, including her education (both of us have Master's, we both dropped out of our terminal degree programs). I can understand if academics is really not her thing and her passion lies elsewhere. And I will support her as long as she's being sensible about it (for instance, if she wants to major in dance, that's okay with me as long as she also majors in something that will get her a decent job and puts food on the table).

    Gwenn, I really don't understand your sister's comments at all. It's *great* that you found employment in the area of your studies, and it's actually a field you find rewarding and fulfilling. Sour grapes, methinks.
    That's an interesting way of looking at it. My parents were both more educated than any of my grandparents (mom's dad dropped out of his bachelor's, mom's mom had a high school diploma, dad's mom went to teacher's college, and dad's dad left school at 14). My dad got a PhD and my mom has a Master's so, although education was super important in our household, I really couldn't have been more educated than my physics professor father. He set the bar so high that I don't think any of us ever thought of outdoing him. We all have a bachelor's but I'm the only one with a graduate degree. My parents are proud of all of us and I think they feel what you feel, that we should study what we like so long as we are able to be self sufficient. That's what I want for my own kids, but I don't want to set the bar too high, because looking up to a PhD as a role model is very daunting, and led to some self-esteem issues in me.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #25054
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    "they" are saying that this generation is the first generation that is expected to do 'less well' than their parents. That alone makes me anxious for my kids...of course we want better for our kids than what we had, but we have to also give them realistic goals that they can actually accomplish.
    Yes, that's what I have had to come to terms with. That is, if I don't go back to school someday...
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #25055
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    "they" are saying that this generation is the first generation that is expected to do 'less well' than their parents. That alone makes me anxious for my kids...of course we want better for our kids than what we had, but we have to also give them realistic goals that they can actually accomplish.
    It's a bit of a contentious issue for DH and I. He would like to leave Mira an inheritance. I don't. We're both very much self made, and while I will do everything in my power to be supportive of her talents and ambitions and give her the very best in education, she's on her own after that. Our job is to give her a solid foundation, not to put her on easy street. He just wants his baby to basically be set for life.

    On the topic of expectations, it's a hard line to walk. Don't set the bar high enough, and you risk having your kid be mediocre when they could be brilliant. Push too hard, and you risk burnout. I'm just not going to think about it for now. I know that DH's side of the family will expect big things out of her. Mira has 3 female cousins on DH's side. The first is in medical school, the second is preparing to take her entrance to medical school, and the third is an overachiever who will be speaking at the UN and will most likely go to the London School of Economics for her degree (unlikely that she'll settle for anything less).

  6. #25056
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    It's probably going to sound awful, but my expectation of my kids is for them to find their own happiness and a career that can pay for it. Whether that's 35,000/year or more is for them to decide. I don't care what/who they are. I only want them to be happy.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I think I fall somewhere between the two viewpoints here. I want my kids to be self-sufficient and happy, and I also expect that they give back somehow. I can't say I don't care what they do, because that's not entirely true, but I will allow them a pretty broad range of finding themselves within that.

    I do think that brilliant children, although they do take some nurturing, are born not made. I think I see it as allowing them to meet their potential rather than being necessarily brilliant. Because, let's face it, only a small percentage of kids can be at the top of the bell curve. But I'd hate to see them waste the gifts they were born with.

    My sister's kids are at the top of the bell curve statistically, and she pushes them so hard I think she's lost her 12 year old son already. I think he will find his own way to succeed, though. At 11 he was playing bass for several high school aged bands. I would not be shocked if he became a rock star - and I think he has what it takes! He's very gifted intellectually as well, though.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I will push Nolan to further his education, but that doens't neccesarily mean going to a 4 year college because honestly its not for everyone. My husband is an extremely intelligent man, but he is not what you would refer to as 'book smart'. He is great with hands and can pick up any trade (and be proficient) in a matter of days. I've seen him pull a motor apart and put it back together in a matter of hours while I'm standing there with my mouth hanging on the ground

    Nolan will either have to go to college, technical skill, or learn a trade of some sort to support himself. What specifically he does depends on his passion and what he wants out of life. He wants to go for his Masters fantastic! If he wants to get a CDL thats great too! I just want him to know that he CAN do more for himself. Even though he's surrounded by people who have done nothing. I think thats why its so important to me to go back to school again. I want him to know that no matter what life throws at you, you can do whatever you want!

    My parents pushed academics with me, but not so much my brother. I was above average intelligence (not gifted, just higher up on the bell curve than others) so they always saw that as a reason to push me farther. I was also extremely self motivated-so it didn't bother me that they pushed me because I pushed myself. Now I'm going to school to get my BA and my brothers an 18 year old, ex addict, with a crazy baby mama GF, living in a shack, and washing dishes for a living

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  9. #25059
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    It's interesting because with adoption, I have found my expectations have changed. I mean I know you never know what your kid will be like but I think that you tend to have assumptions based on yourself and spouse. It was fairly reasonable to expect a bio kid of ours would be more likely to be book smart than say mechanically inclined or super great at sports.

    But now I feel much more open to our kid being a variety to of things and just hope nurture their strengths. I agree a lot with Suja...schools here are too easy on kids. I grew up with strong expectations. I was the first person every in either side of my family to get a bachelors degree (and more). My parents knew it was easily within my grasp and always said when you go to college, never if you go. But my parents didn't expect straight A's...what they said was always try your best.

    So I'm married to a man who has a basically useless degree. College was a waste for him and he regrets is major (geophysics) and wishes that someone had advised him better. He was also looking at math and engineering. He's looked at going back and getting something different (he won't ever work in the field now since he's been out too long....and we were never willing to move where the jobs were for him like TX). We were both told (he was also first to go to college in his family) to just find what you love and do. Biggest piece of BS advice ever. We both should have at least double majored because my philosophy degree is even more useless....I just picked a better masters degree. If doing a fun degree, you should also do one that is practical and can get you a job. I really think very few people have jobs that are their life's passion.

    On inheritance....it's one of the big pluses we had in the pro column on our have a kid list. We really wanted someone that we could leave things to like house. Our kid won't be on easy street but should get a nice chunk of change probably.

    Ok so my parents up visiting (everyone is in bed but I'm not tired....and I don't have any alcohol in the house to make me sleepy). Last night was nice, made the famous homemade pizza and DH was showing my dad his new legos.
    This morning we got up and went to the mall of america...omg chrissy you NOT like it there! Pretty busy and we were only in a small part of it. It takes hours and hours to walk the whole thing. Got a few lego stuff and checked out another store. Went to the nice shoe shore and ended up buying these http://www.schulershoes.com/Womens-D...lsey-P235.aspx which weren't even on my radar but I liked how they felt. And they were one of the cheaper pairs! I didn't know that dansko made some cushy shoes...my old ones were pretty hard.
    It's been a pretty fun visit with the parents so far. Too bad they are leaving tomorrow morning! I probably won't see them again until spring.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #25060

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    Mandy, I'm not sure if this is overkill to say, but when I talked about my degree and the willy nilly path I took to my current career, it was just a tangent off your earlier discussion and in no way a validation of your sister's comments. I was nodding off and thus a total non-sequitur. So please forgive if it sounded like I was having her back. Your sister's comments do sound like sour grapes to me too. It stinks when people feel the need to downplay others to talk themselves up.

    Speaking of tangents, the hostess of the party we were at earlier today was a physician. She was playing beautiful ukulele music at the party and we got to talking about it. Turns out she once treated Iz (the legendary Hawaiian singer of whom DH & I are fans) while doing her residency on Oahu. She said he was such a big man, she couldn't hear his heart thru her stethoscope. (Does doctor-patient confidentiality extend past the patient's death? Because if it does, I think she broke it.)

    Last thoughts on education: I have a fantasy that one day, the prevailing teaching style in the US will take its cues from The Karate Kid, students being taught in a way that doesn't feel like learning, but they're absorbing all the same. How cool would it be you could wax cars and paint fences for 72 hrs and suddenly know quantum physics and calculus? Extra credit if you can catch a fly wih chopsticks. In all seriousness, I think we can all agree our educational system is imperfect, and even broken in the US. Whether it's perceived as too hard or too easy on kids (or both, as I see it) is largely a subjective call, and opinions on what's an acceptable level of academic pressure to place on kids will vary as widely as thoughts can on the topic of discipline.
    Last edited by demigraf; 11-06-2011 at 08:35 AM.

  11. #25061

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Last thoughts on education: I have a fantasy that one day, the prevailing teaching style in the US will take its cues from The Karate Kid, students being taught in a way that doesn't feel like learning, but they're absorbing all the same. How cool would it be you could wax cars and paint fences for 72 hrs and suddenly know quantum physics and calculus? Extra credit if you can catch a fly wih chopsticks. In all seriousness, I think we can all agree our educational system is imperfect, and even broken in the US. Whether it's perceived as too hard or too easy on kids (or both, as I see it) is largely a subjective call, and opinions on what's an acceptable level of academic pressure to place on kids will vary as widely as thoughts can on the topic of discipline.
    Well said.
    We've been discussing education all weekend because dbf is "concerned" that I am not sitting the kids down for hours every day to do formal school. I've been reading to him from my curriculum books but what really finally convinced him was that I had Savana play a math game with him and she can add, subtract and even do simple division while playing the game. My methods are not traditional but of course I would never let me children fall behind.

    Lydia, you'll appreciate this as you guys are reading Magic Treehouse right? Savana and Kai have suddenly taken issue with JAck and Annie lying to their parents about what they are doing while they are really flying around to other lands and times in the magic treehouse. They've been talking about it all weekend, how you should never lie to your parents, even when you think they won't believe you.

  12. #25062

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I think I fall somewhere between the two viewpoints here. I want my kids to be self-sufficient and happy, and I also expect that they give back somehow. I can't say I don't care what they do, because that's not entirely true, but I will allow them a pretty broad range of finding themselves within that.
    I absolutely expect Abbey to be a contributing member of society. But I think if she were to live being an open-minded, loving, and honest person in all of her interactions with the world then that's a pretty big contribution, even if she chooses a vocation that's not prestigious or particularly valued by the masses.

    In my personal experience, the people I know who defined themselves by their career, and were driven to succeed only in terms of wealth and title, are the unhappiest people I know. Me included, though I'm now 'retired' and reaping the benefits of hindsight.

    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Nolan will either have to go to college, technical skill, or learn a trade of some sort to support himself. What specifically he does depends on his passion and what he wants out of life. He wants to go for his Masters fantastic! If he wants to get a CDL thats great too! I just want him to know that he CAN do more for himself.
    My DH has a masters and will be getting his CDL next spring. He obviously uses his masters and loves his job (engineer), but his dad needs help at his farm now so his and his brother are both getting CDLs to help with driving (they just started requiring them for family farmers).

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Last thoughts on education: I have a fantasy that one day, the prevailing teaching style in the US will take its cues from The Karate Kid, students being taught in a way that doesn't feel like learning, but they're absorbing all the same. How cool would it be you could wax cars and paint fences for 72 hrs and suddenly know quantum physics and calculus? Extra credit if you can catch a fly wih chopsticks.
    lol! That reminded me of this comic:
    Last edited by AbbeysMom; 11-06-2011 at 07:56 AM.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  13. #25063

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    I also feel that many people are tricked into the "if you go to college you'll be successful" stuff. I also want my kids to go to college if they want to but I know that college is not the only way to success and that the definition of success varies from one individual to the next.

    I do a lot of interviews (have some to do tomorrow ugh!!) and what I have seen is a lot of people here anyway (and this area is the main reason why I push Ky academically) do not know how to read and write proficiently. They cannot do basic math in their head like simple addition and subtraction. They do not know how to speak clearly and answer questions proficiently. A lot of our people, even some who are in positions who make more money than I do, do not know how to use Outlook, which is a vital part of our business and which I learned in high school. We have to make a lot of "incident reports" about things that go on in our apartment buildings and our property managers do not know how to write a sentence. It makes me fear the traditional education here in this state and it is the reason I do push Ky academically. I know he can do more than the general curriculum here and the standards here are below what I learned in Ohio and what my nephews are learning so I don't want to take the chance that if we move to another state (especially since we may be moving to Chicago) that he will not be behind due to the low standards of our schools here. Even in Chicago, which is known for having a poor public school district, their standards are higher than here, so basically their worse performing schools are equal to some of the best performing schools here in Atlanta.

    But really on the homework thing, I just feel if you are spending time learning in school, then there isn't a need for 3-4 hours of homework. At Ky's school now, I am satisfied that he is learning at a good level. They only have 6 kids in the classroom. He gets lots of one on one instruction. They teach in very innovative ways and Ky loves his school and if you ask him what he learned today, he can spout off a lot of stuff that surprised him and that he enjoyed and how hard a concept of math was that he is learning. I feel since they are doing a good job, the teachers shouldn't have to send home a bunch of useless worksheets. I can understand that they may want him to read or do some sort of history or science project, but not worksheets and other what I consider useless work.

    I also know that not everyone is made for college and I don't look down on vocational training and actually I will make sure to pay for my kids to get some vocational training in high school if need be. I am already thinking I may send Ky to a technical school to be a certified electrician. I do feel he may be college material, but he is rather lazy and that makes me have doubts about this, but regardless, I expect for him to be able to read, write, do math, and speak cohesively. I also have told him that by the age of 23 he will not be able to live with me so he needs to have a skill to take care of himself. Lots of people with vocational training make more than those with college degrees, like plumbers or electricians, or even carpenters in some instances. I also feel it gives them an opportunity to open a business if they so wish with their acquired skills. So they would be able to work for themselves if they want to or contract out their skills and not be tied down to a company. So in a way I see vocational training as making more sense than a college degree in a lot of areas since you can learn a skill quickly and come out able to take care of yourself financially in most instances. I know for my ultimate academic goal, it will take years. I do eventually want to earn a PhD. But luckily I thought about how life can take you on curves and bends along the way when I was in high school and I took vocational training at my high school in Data and Word processing and learned a lot about computer systems and how to use them. I also took accounting so have bookkeeping skills and other general skills that I have been able to use over the years with employers and through contracting out my services to local businesses.

    Erin

  14. #25064
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    That's true that some people make more in the trades than those with a degree. My brother in law is an electrician and his wife is an RN. They both make good money for our area, but he makes more than she does. Almost 2/3 more than she does when you subtract what she pays back in her student loans. I remember when he started out he only made $7.25 or so an hour (not all that long ago, perhaps 6-7 years?). His wife was still in school at the time too. It was rough, but their hard work paid off.

    I guess my only expectation for my kids is that I'd like them to pursue those things immediately after high school and not wait till their late 20's like we did. Rich never did any college or technical training, but the skills he learned working on his grandparents farm has helped him land any guy-guy job he's wanted. And that's his thing. He loves physically demanding work. My only beef with him is that he could make more if he went elsewhere, but he got so tired of being laid off all the time and this company has never laid anyone off in their entire history (not even through this recent economic crisis) so he stays at lower wage for the security.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #25065

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I also feel that many people are tricked into the "if you go to college you'll be successful" stuff. I also want my kids to go to college if they want to but I know that college is not the only way to success and that the definition of success varies from one individual to the next.

    I do a lot of interviews (have some to do tomorrow ugh!!) and what I have seen is a lot of people here anyway (and this area is the main reason why I push Ky academically) do not know how to read and write proficiently. They cannot do basic math in their head like simple addition and subtraction. They do not know how to speak clearly and answer questions proficiently. A lot of our people, even some who are in positions who make more money than I do, do not know how to use Outlook, which is a vital part of our business and which I learned in high school. We have to make a lot of "incident reports" about things that go on in our apartment buildings and our property managers do not know how to write a sentence. It makes me fear the traditional education here in this state and it is the reason I do push Ky academically. I know he can do more than the general curriculum here and the standards here are below what I learned in Ohio and what my nephews are learning so I don't want to take the chance that if we move to another state (especially since we may be moving to Chicago) that he will not be behind due to the low standards of our schools here. Even in Chicago, which is known for having a poor public school district, their standards are higher than here, so basically their worse performing schools are equal to some of the best performing schools here in Atlanta.

    But really on the homework thing, I just feel if you are spending time learning in school, then there isn't a need for 3-4 hours of homework. At Ky's school now, I am satisfied that he is learning at a good level. They only have 6 kids in the classroom. He gets lots of one on one instruction. They teach in very innovative ways and Ky loves his school and if you ask him what he learned today, he can spout off a lot of stuff that surprised him and that he enjoyed and how hard a concept of math was that he is learning. I feel since they are doing a good job, the teachers shouldn't have to send home a bunch of useless worksheets. I can understand that they may want him to read or do some sort of history or science project, but not worksheets and other what I consider useless work.

    I also know that not everyone is made for college and I don't look down on vocational training and actually I will make sure to pay for my kids to get some vocational training in high school if need be. I am already thinking I may send Ky to a technical school to be a certified electrician. I do feel he may be college material, but he is rather lazy and that makes me have doubts about this, but regardless, I expect for him to be able to read, write, do math, and speak cohesively. I also have told him that by the age of 23 he will not be able to live with me so he needs to have a skill to take care of himself. Lots of people with vocational training make more than those with college degrees, like plumbers or electricians, or even carpenters in some instances. I also feel it gives them an opportunity to open a business if they so wish with their acquired skills. So they would be able to work for themselves if they want to or contract out their skills and not be tied down to a company. So in a way I see vocational training as making more sense than a college degree in a lot of areas since you can learn a skill quickly and come out able to take care of yourself financially in most instances. I know for my ultimate academic goal, it will take years. I do eventually want to earn a PhD. But luckily I thought about how life can take you on curves and bends along the way when I was in high school and I took vocational training at my high school in Data and Word processing and learned a lot about computer systems and how to use them. I also took accounting so have bookkeeping skills and other general skills that I have been able to use over the years with employers and through contracting out my services to local businesses.

    Erin
    Ky could always end up an electrical engineer. My DH is an EE and IMO had way more "useful" training through his undergrad and graduate experience than in my liberal arts degree. He even kept most of his textbooks for reference. They do have engineering only universities (like School of Mines in Colorado).

    I was talking to DH about this whole conversation and it came up how pushing your kids academically is totally different than pushing your kids to "get the grade". I do push Abbey even now, to learn new things; right now she can sight recognize several words and spell her own name, and I'm hoping she'll be reading by 4 years old.

    I also think pushing kids means pushing them to keep trying after stumbling, and that the "laziness" we see in a lot of people comes from the easy acceptance of failure. The way our school's are set up now (save for some innovative charter/private schools like Erin mentioned) kids are taught that the grade is the reward, and the lesson can be lost in the process of chasing the grade.

    The whole "Tiger Mother" thing... remember the editorial that lady wrote? The one where she basically walked the line of child abuse in order to get her little girl to play a certain piano piece? Almost everyone was universally disgusted by that, me included. But there was the sentiment mentioned in the article that many difficult activities are only enjoyable after you've mastered them, in academics, sports, music, art, etc. I definitely think this is true. Teaching kids to keep trying helps them learn about determination and trust their own strength, and once they've 'mastered' a skill, it gets fun (like reading).

    Basically while I wholly disagree with the "Tiger Mother" method of browbeating and screaming at your child to "motivate them", I think there is a gentle alternative that has the same basic ideological sentiment.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  16. #25066
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    My husband is one of those people who is very intelligent but he is so lazy when it comes to studying and education. He got a musical electronics degree when he was younger, but it's one of those degrees that you have to live somewhere like London to actually make a living from, so he now works in an office and has worked office jobs since leaving college. His parents never pushed him at all. They are quite soft, actually. They are lovely people, but I feel bad for DH because I feel like he could have really done well career-wise if he'd had some direction when he was younger.

    My parents were never involved with us as kids and didn't ever seem to be interested in anything we were doing. As long as we weren't out causing trouble, then they were happy. Because of that, I feel like I will always work really hard to make sure what both my boys enjoy. Like, right now Travis loves to do lots of gymnastics type things, so when I start working again and we can afford it, I'd like him to join a gymnastics school. Cash, even as young as he is, loves soccer and kicks a ball wherever he goes, so I feel like I'll encourage him in that respect.

    I'll always work with them out of school on reading and math and anything else that they need help with because I want them to get the best start in life that they can. I'd love for them to go to university, but if they decide not to, as long as they are doing something productive with their time, I'll support them. I think I will start working with Travis over the Christmas holidays on phonics and sight words. I have so many books that I want to share with him like Stone Fox, Number the Stars, Where the Red Fern Grows, etc. I hope at least one of my boys turns out to love reading like I do!

    Ah, I meant to share with you guys about the other night. We had bought Travis a new book with stories in it for bedtime since we were getting tired of reading the same one over and over. So, we picked this one book that said it was a children's classic and it has poems and stories in it like excerpts from the Jungle Book, poetry by Shakespeare, etc. So, I flipped through and saw one called "The Selfish Giant" by Oscar Wilde. I thought it sounded like a story with a moral, which seemed like a good choice so that Travis and I could discuss selfishness. Any how, I read it to him and it was about a giant that went away for awhile and while he was away the children played in his garden. When he came back, he told all the children to go away. When all the children went away, winter came and never left the giant's garden. Any how, so the giant invited all the kids back so that spring could come back and there was one little boy that he helped to climb a tree but after that day, he never saw that little boy again. Many years passed and the giant was old and one day looked out the window and saw the little boy he had helped....and do you know how the story ended?????????????? The "little boy" was wounded on his hands and feet and had come back to take the giant to "his paradise." I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???????" I didn't see that one coming and turning so religious like that! Ugh!

  17. #25067

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    ...Ah, I meant to share with you guys about the other night. We had bought Travis a new book with stories in it for bedtime since we were getting tired of reading the same one over and over. So, we picked this one book that said it was a children's classic and it has poems and stories in it like excerpts from the Jungle Book, poetry by Shakespeare, etc. So, I flipped through and saw one called "The Selfish Giant" by Oscar Wilde. I thought it sounded like a story with a moral, which seemed like a good choice so that Travis and I could discuss selfishness. Any how, I read it to him and it was about a giant that went away for awhile and while he was away the children played in his garden. When he came back, he told all the children to go away. When all the children went away, winter came and never left the giant's garden. Any how, so the giant invited all the kids back so that spring could come back and there was one little boy that he helped to climb a tree but after that day, he never saw that little boy again. Many years passed and the giant was old and one day looked out the window and saw the little boy he had helped....and do you know how the story ended?????????????? The "little boy" was wounded on his hands and feet and had come back to take the giant to "his paradise." I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???????" I didn't see that one coming and turning so religious like that! Ugh!

    I remember that story from my childhood, but didn't realize Oscar Wilde had written it. That's a very strange moral coming from a guy with his - uh - morals. LOL. My favorite Wilde quotes go something like: "When I go on holiday, I always bring my personal journals... because it's important to carry something good to read with you at all times." And the other one: (as he was going through customs one time) "I have nothing to declare but my genius." Love him!

    I didn't know your DH had a musical electronics degree, Ash. I wonder if it's essentially the same as my DH's in record engineering. This is actually pretty topical to what we were talking about earlier, because my hubby is one of those folks who thought he had to pursue the stable career route. So he got a degree in mechanical engineering, just like his 4 other older engineer brothers and his engineer dad. Basically, he lived up to his family's expectations and was absolutely miserable. So he abandoned engineering altogether, went back to school and got the second degree (funding it through a landscaping business of all things). It was rough for him to start from scratch and make an inroad into the field, but after just a few more years out of school, he rose to the chief position at the studio he where he worked. Well, now that we moved away from LA, you guys know my complaints about his fledgling business and him starting from scratch all over again. Still, he is clearly pleased with his choices today and is a much more colorful person who is respected in his area of expertise. He wouldn't be half the man he is if he hadn't taken those risks. Plus, I probably wouldn't have married him if I hadn't seen the side of him that cares about his happiness and broke away from the claptrap he'd been fed while growing up about the person he "had" to be.

    His move to California to start his career is another good story about why I fell in love with him. I'll tell you girls soon.

    It's Bodhi's naptime and now I'm going to attempt to catalog the clothes in my closet, so I can have a "cheat sheet" to work from any time I have a fashion crisis. I've had this idea for awhile. I imagine I will geek out and turn the thing into a relational database and write a few queries that will help piece outfits together on attributes like color, volume, fabric and perhaps more subjective ones like 'vibe' where I can organize clothes where applicable into groups like "9 to 5", "boho", "ethnic", "glam", etc. I'll let you know how it goes. If I fall asleep while I'm working on it that'll be ok too.

    With the time change, 5 am was truly the new 6 am today. I'd gotten 10 things done and Bodhi & I still found ourselves in line outside of Costco waiting for it to open. (Ours sells tickets to the new Cirque du Soleil show in town, Totem. Got 2nd row seats at 20% off. Score!)

    Molly, I liked the cartoon. Good one!
    Last edited by demigraf; 11-06-2011 at 03:21 PM.

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    P.S. 3 out of 6 paragraphs above ending in an exclamation point must mean I'm in a pretty good mood. That's a 50% enthusiasm rate.
    Last edited by demigraf; 11-06-2011 at 03:19 PM.

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    I have so many books that I want to share with him like Stone Fox, Number the Stars, Where the Red Fern Grows, etc. I hope at least one of my boys turns out to love reading like I do!

    ...

    So, I flipped through and saw one called "The Selfish Giant" by Oscar Wilde. I thought it sounded like a story with a moral, which seemed like a good choice so that Travis and I could discuss selfishness.
    When my mom first read it to me, she changed the ending and made it non religious. I read it later, and didn't have any issues with how it ended. A lot of the times, the writers had to do whatever it takes to get published, and made such concessions to please the publisher or readers (that's how God ended up in Jane Eyre, apparently).

    Since you are in the UK, consider picking up stuff by Enid Blyton. She is probably my favorite children's author of all time. The Magic Faraway Tree series, The Wishing Chair series, and the Noddy books are good for younger kids. I plan to pick some up on my trip home this time. She also has tons of super popular adventure series - Famous Five, Secret Seven, etc. but those are for somewhat older kids (pre- Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys).

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    We just started the Magic Faraway Tree a few nights ago. Loving it.
    Last edited by Bridget; 11-06-2011 at 05:33 PM.

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    mil sent me this joke today:

    Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a sermon about the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

    lol.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    It's probably going to sound awful, but my expectation of my kids is for them to find their own happiness and a career that can pay for it. Whether that's 35,000/year or more is for them to decide. I don't care what/who they are. I only want them to be happy.
    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    mil sent me this joke today:

    Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a sermon about the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

    lol.
    I needed that, thanks for posting it.
    Karen (28), DF (28), DD (3), DS (2 months)


    Beanpop's Fluffy Butt Diapers *GRAND RE-OPENING 3/13*

  23. #25073

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    mil sent me this joke today:

    Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a sermon about the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

    lol.
    LOL, that is funny!!!

    It actually reminded me of an off hand comment that one of our residents made. I work in public housing and I get a lot of calls from our residents who like to complain about things. I get the most calls from a particular building of ours where I think every person who is mentally ill in this city who wants to live in public housing goes to live, but anyway one of the residents he is a nice guy but I do think he has mental issues, he called the property manager there a "Satan-Ness" basically a female Satan. I thought it was hilarious and he was happy to have made me laugh but said he was serious. He is one of my favorite residents to talk to and he tells everyone he loves me. He usually calls me up in the morning after he has had a few drinks and those are his best conversations. The Satan-Ness comment came though at a time when he wasn't drinking. The manager who works at that building though is just the sweetest, nicest person you could ever meet and really I feel I will be looking for another manager there soon because she is too nice to make it over there. The residents are rather unstable and have a tendency to be threatening and domineering and I don't think she can last much longer, but it was hilarious to hear, what I considered a new word and I employ that word in my vocabulary when speaking of specific females I know like my co-worker J or how my boss acts sometimes, she is rather Satan-Ness-y sometimes too.

    Erin

  24. #25074

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    mil sent me this joke today:

    Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a sermon about the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

    lol.
    Tea spat out all over the front of me. Bwahahaha!

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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    mil sent me this joke today:

    Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a sermon about the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?' The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

    lol.
    HA! I love it I'll have to share that one with my co-worker! LOL

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    My sister is pissed that we didn't make it to her birthday cruise last night, despite the fact that all of our kids are horribly sick and Baby S. would not stop shrieking when horizontal. It took the combined efforts of both me and dh and some ibuprofen (for him) and some medicinal wine (for the adults) to get him to sleep after multiple hours of non-stop crying for the past two nights. There is no way my mom could have done it, never having put all three kids to sleep on her own before, and certainly when we could barely do it with the two of us and being experienced. Plus, we would have been totally unable to return home for five hours if his condition worsened.

    But now my sister is angry at me for "always having some excuse to not come to her birthday party." I have been coming to her birthday parties since before I moved to California. I drove out from WY to attend her freaking birthday parties. I have bought five different formal dresses and some lingerie because her birthday parties always have dress codes. I was the first one to RSVP to this party. I canceled despite the fact that the tickets were nonrefundable and nontransferable with a late-notice cancellation and were $200, because I kept hoping Baby S. would get better.

    I was going to call her today and talk to her and apologize again for not making it, but I don't think I can do it without getting upset. Plus it sounds like she's being pretty irrational.

    I appreciated the joke.

    I made Suja's butter chicken again today. Claire helped me make it. I had her just add the ingredients willy-nilly, since there were no measurements, so I handed her stuff and told her to put as much as she wanted in. Garlic? Sure! Red chili powder? As much as you want! DH said it was way better than the first time I made it, and said both times were excellent, but this time it was even spicier. He said it seemed very authentic.


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    Your sister is acting like a 3 year old. She is an adult, right? Why on earth is she a) throwing herself elaborate parties and b) expecting everyone to jump through hoops to attend these things? Maybe you should tell her that you'll for sure attend her next birthday party where she actually acts her chronological age.

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    She was bitterly complaining that none of her friends with children (besides us) were attending this event, with an undertone of how we never go out and have fun any more. Incidentally, we were the only non-gay couple that agreed to go besides her and her dh. I told her that was one of the benefits of growing old in the Bay Area -- she would always have someone to dance with, even when her straight friends were boring and tired.

    And no, she will never act her chronological age. And yes, she has always expected everyone to jump through hoops for her birthdays. She is turning 40 this year. Ever since she turned 30 she has become less happy and more bitter. I'm not sure why she loves these elaborate parties, but she does not understand why I like to have a quiet dinner at home.


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    I'm sorry, L. That's a shame.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    Your sister is acting like a 3 year old. She is an adult, right? Why on earth is she a) throwing herself elaborate parties and b) expecting everyone to jump through hoops to attend these things? Maybe you should tell her that you'll for sure attend her next birthday party where she actually acts her chronological age.
    I have to agree with this. And elaborate parties at 40, really?? I don't get that

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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