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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #24691
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    OMG, I just found out that a friend of mine who had given up on having kids after two failed IVF cycles last year is now 10 weeks pregnant - what she's calling a "freebie pregnancy". I am SO thrilled for her.
    That is fantastic!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  2. #24692
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    I'm ready for the time change too. I don't like spring ahead but I do like fall back! It's too hard to get up and get ready for work in the dark.

    I was showing DH pictures of puppies again this weekend. I told him that a puppy would mean exercise for Cosmo and we could get her off the diet dog food...it's very high in fiber which means he's cleaning more #2's from the litter box (frequency and amount...it's crazy how much the food has changed it!). But he didn't fall for it and said that two dogs would mean the same amount of litter box cleanups.

    We didn't do much over the weekend. Drank wine, watched some movies, slept, grilled out, he was messing with his legos and I got started on the stocking kit I bought for future baby. Um yeah so that is going to take me FOREVER to do considering I don't really know how to sew. I got two pieces cut out of the felt and sorted the different colored sequins.

    We almost went to the mall of america and shoe shopping for me but my parents are visiting this weekend and I asked if they would want to do this and they were like yeah. My mom loves shoes, my dad wants to go to the lego area at the moa and my mom suggested stopping at Ikea which is next to the mall. For them the closest Ikea would be way down in a chicago burb.

    Awww the kids from the daycare at work are all doing a parade and going past the patient library which is in the lobby. They are pretty cute! Only bad part is some of the parents came down to see and so of course some unhappy kids that they aren't going home to trick or treat like right now.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #24693

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    Suja, that IS cool news about your friend. Nice.

    Jennifer, you're sure you're ready to take on a new puppy in the same year you might be bringing home a new child? LOL. That sounds like a lot, a lot, a lot of work. Hope you don't accidentally diaper the puppy instead of the baby. LOL.

    Erin, I really want to see a pic of Ky in his scary zombie costume. Please. If you post it anywhere, please link me to it if you have a moment.

    Chrissy, I got the laptop connectivity up and running again thanks to you. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that much of the laptop was OEM, so was able to use all the drivers Dell provided on the site. Most of my machines are "franken'puters" made up of random, scrounged-up parts (which is why I never had any Dell disks for the laptop). After all that, the thing is still running dog-slow, so I think I may have a hard drive or controller or processor on its way out. :/

    The rest of our weekend was good. After seeing L @ the parade, we hung out a little longer with our holistic chiropractor friends (not the ones you met briefly, L. those were our stoner friends) to see the new office they're opening on the same street the parade was on. Bodhi and their little girl were running around the empty offices and putting on shocking displays of PDA - LOL. I mean, they were grabbing and hugging and kissing each other on the lips. It was adorable, and Bodhi insists that the girl was the one doing all the kissing. I just laughed and said, "Well, you didn't seem to mind it too much yourself. mister." I suppose it's too early for me to start envisioning what our grandchildren would look like? She is a gorgeous little kid.

    Tonight, DH has to work, and B & I are trick-or-treating with Santi around the block tonight. I shared the things Bodhi said about his friend with Santi's mommy, and we both agreed the boys are going to be fine with whatever they work out, and we'll just continue to hang out, business-as-usual.
    ------
    OK, since I’m totally incapable of keeping it brief, here's the silly thing I'm obsessing over today: B & I had a spontaneous playdate yesterday afternoon with some surfer parents that I really like. While we were talking about trick-or-treating, I prefaced a sentence with "If you're going to be in the area tomorrow..." and I was planning to finish off the sentence with "...go see this crazy house up the street from me where they went all-out in decorating". But midway through the sentence, I realized it sounded like I was going to invite them to come trick-or-treating with us. My friend was already starting to nod her head vigorously like she was going to accept my invitation. But then I finished my sentence, and it was just awkward and I felt bad, especially because I really like this mom, want to be a better friend to her, and have deeply buried suspicions/insecurities that she's too cool to be my friend. Plus, our husbands get on really well. We've been trying to get together 3 weekends in a row for playdates that haven't worked out. I feel like I made her feel a little stupid. So anyway, I texted her this morning and told her that we would come to their door later this evening so Bodhi could bring them some treats. I hope that smooths (smoothes?) things out a bit.

  4. #24694

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    Some pictures from last Saturday…

    These are some of my favorites of L’s little giraffe and princess:



    A princess, a crocodile and an engineer all walk into a bar together… :



    And, just for fun, here is my little crocodile wrestling an affectionate little bear:



  5. #24695

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    Suja what wonderful news. I love hearing things like that.
    I had a good birthday. My brother came over and spent the day with us which was great because I adore him. He makes me feel like an old fuddy duddy sometimes. He came in with a huge bottle of wine singing, "We're poppin bottles for Digits (nickname, long story) birthday!" and was like, "Um, I'm nursing my baby."
    Then after the kids went to bed he wanted to do a shot of tequila and I was like, "SHHH Dexter is on!"
    So dbf sat in his chair all.day.long playing online poker. As per usual I cooked for everyone all day but didn't do much cleaning. He's been stomping around all morning cleaning up there and I am just totally acting like I don't notice his attitude.
    There was a totally heated moment yesterday where Kai was wearing a goofy bracelet (anyone remember snap bracelets?) of my brothers. Most of you know my brother is gay, he wears silly things sometimes paints his nails, whatever. Well Kai loved the bracelet and came in saying to dbf, "Daddy, I really love this bracelet and I want one." And dbf replied, "You don't want that ridiculous thing. You're a boy. That is a girl's bracelet."
    I was like dude, come ON. You know it's my brother's and he is clearly a MAN. To which dbf started to laugh!
    Him and my brother exchanged a few words and dbf acted like my brother and I were being soo oversensitive and he was just kidding. I tried explaining that you can't cover up a faux pas by saying your just kidding and you can't always be "kidding" at someone else's expense because it's not funny. Then my brother said, "I'll thank you to keep your gender bias to yourself please." And my brother and I walked out of the room and laughed so hard at what that last sentence that only a gay teacher would throw out in an argument.

  6. #24696

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Erin, I really want to see a pic of Ky in his scary zombie costume. Please. If you post it anywhere, please link me to it if you have a moment.
    I will be putting them up probably tomorrow morning on FB and on my Flickr account for the project 365. I'm going to try to do the teeth thing he wanted me to do, so we shall see.

    (not the ones you met briefly, L. those were our stoner friends)
    That made me laugh!!!


    Erin

  7. #24697
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    Jennifer I love puppies, but I agree that you are crazy for thinking of getting a new puppy when you will be getting a new squishy bundle soon

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  8. #24698
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    Wow Bridget I really don't know how you stand it. I think I would've dumped a soda on his head if he thought *I* was going to cook for everyone on *my* bday. Call me selfish
    And your brother is awesome! I just want to give him a high five!!!

    Erin I also want to see Ky's costume; it sounds awesome!!!

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  9. #24699

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    There was a totally heated moment yesterday where Kai was wearing a goofy bracelet (anyone remember snap bracelets?) of my brothers. Most of you know my brother is gay, he wears silly things sometimes paints his nails, whatever. Well Kai loved the bracelet and came in saying to dbf, "Daddy, I really love this bracelet and I want one." And dbf replied, "You don't want that ridiculous thing. You're a boy. That is a girl's bracelet."
    I was like dude, come ON. You know it's my brother's and he is clearly a MAN. To which dbf started to laugh!
    Him and my brother exchanged a few words and dbf acted like my brother and I were being soo oversensitive and he was just kidding. I tried explaining that you can't cover up a faux pas by saying your just kidding and you can't always be "kidding" at someone else's expense because it's not funny. Then my brother said, "I'll thank you to keep your gender bias to yourself please." And my brother and I walked out of the room and laughed so hard at what that last sentence that only a gay teacher would throw out in an argument.
    Groan! Gender neutrality in parenting is not a difficult concept to figure out, especially with your influence and your brother's. The stuff people grow up with that sticks in their heads (like "only girls do this") is so pervasive and sad. At least you and bro were able to laugh about something.

  10. #24700

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Groan! Gender neutrality in parenting is not a difficult concept to figure out, especially with your influence and your brother's. The stuff people grow up with that sticks in their heads (like "only girls do this") is so pervasive and sad. At least you and bro were able to laugh about something.
    I know, dude. That's only one of the ridiculous things he said yesterday. Whenever my brother and I are together I think he must feel intimidated or outnumbered or something because he acts more foolish than normal.

    I had to chuckle at your misunderstanding with your new friend. I hate it when stuff like that happens and feel like I totally obsess about it. Then years later when you really are close friends and you bring it up, they have no idea what you are talking about because they didn't even notice.
    I can't believe you think you wouldn't be cool enough for anyone! You're like the coolest cat ever! I always feel like if I ever met anyone from apa irl they'd think I was a snoozer because I wouldn't have time to formulate my comments as I do on here.

  11. #24701
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    You ladies move too fast for me and I keep missing things Myles I have done the same thing before, it is embarassing for sure I agree with Bridget though, you ARE a cool cat and you never know, maybe she feels the same way

    If I met anybody from APA in real life they would definitely think I was a complete and utter witch. I tend to censor myself alot on here, more so than I do irl.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #24702
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    I really wish we'd put an end to all this clock changing nonsense. Pick one, stick with it. Is that so hard? There is no real reason anymore for it; we're not an agrarian society, and there is no energy savings either.

    I think I'm the only person on the planet that wouldn't want puppies. They're okay if they're someone else's and get to go home with them at the end of the day. Kinda the same way I feel about most kids, actually.

    Bridget, good for you and your brother for calling DBF on his inappropriate "kidding". Sets a good example for the kids too.

    Exhausted today. So much end of quarter stuff to get done, payroll for tomorrow, and Mira has a bad ear infection, which I'm completely stressed out about. I wish there was some magical flavorless pill or something I could give her instead of this crappy medicine. Every session is such a battle and I give myself heartburn just thinking about how we're going to manage to get another dose into her, and just how much puking she'll do.

  13. #24703
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    Eh I would totally get a puppy like this weekend if DH would agree to it. But that isn't going to happen (though he came thisclose in August and basically didn't because his grandma was dying and there was the funeral and travel and it was just bad timing). I mean I might get a baby sometime in the near future but really I think that it will be at least another year if not more. I can have a puppy trained by than!
    I have it easier than some though....my DH is very helpful at home and does a lot of the cleaning and cleans up after the dog we already have. And with us working opposite shifts, there is almost always someone home so training is much easier. We both spent a lot of time working on Cosmo and got our technique down so we were doing the same things with her. It really wasn't too bad having a puppy at all.

    So I try to tempt him and pull up the website from where we got Cosmo and show him cute puppies from time to time to see if he will fall for it....but nothing yet. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #24704

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Eh I would totally get a puppy like this weekend if DH would agree to it. But that isn't going to happen (though he came thisclose in August and basically didn't because his grandma was dying and there was the funeral and travel and it was just bad timing). I mean I might get a baby sometime in the near future but really I think that it will be at least another year if not more. I can have a puppy trained by than!
    I have it easier than some though....my DH is very helpful at home and does a lot of the cleaning and cleans up after the dog we already have. And with us working opposite shifts, there is almost always someone home so training is much easier. We both spent a lot of time working on Cosmo and got our technique down so we were doing the same things with her. It really wasn't too bad having a puppy at all.

    So I try to tempt him and pull up the website from where we got Cosmo and show him cute puppies from time to time to see if he will fall for it....but nothing yet. LOL
    Take him to see the puppies. Get him to hold one.



    ---

    And Suja, Congrats to your friend! What an amazing surprise!



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  15. #24705

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Suja what wonderful news. I love hearing things like that.
    I had a good birthday. My brother came over and spent the day with us which was great because I adore him. He makes me feel like an old fuddy duddy sometimes. He came in with a huge bottle of wine singing, "We're poppin bottles for Digits (nickname, long story) birthday!" and was like, "Um, I'm nursing my baby."
    Then after the kids went to bed he wanted to do a shot of tequila and I was like, "SHHH Dexter is on!"
    So dbf sat in his chair all.day.long playing online poker. As per usual I cooked for everyone all day but didn't do much cleaning. He's been stomping around all morning cleaning up there and I am just totally acting like I don't notice his attitude.
    There was a totally heated moment yesterday where Kai was wearing a goofy bracelet (anyone remember snap bracelets?) of my brothers. Most of you know my brother is gay, he wears silly things sometimes paints his nails, whatever. Well Kai loved the bracelet and came in saying to dbf, "Daddy, I really love this bracelet and I want one." And dbf replied, "You don't want that ridiculous thing. You're a boy. That is a girl's bracelet."
    I was like dude, come ON. You know it's my brother's and he is clearly a MAN. To which dbf started to laugh!
    Him and my brother exchanged a few words and dbf acted like my brother and I were being soo oversensitive and he was just kidding. I tried explaining that you can't cover up a faux pas by saying your just kidding and you can't always be "kidding" at someone else's expense because it's not funny. Then my brother said, "I'll thank you to keep your gender bias to yourself please." And my brother and I walked out of the room and laughed so hard at what that last sentence that only a gay teacher would throw out in an argument.

    Happy belated birthday! I missed you saying that your birthday was coming, but in my defense this thread moves at light speed. Hope you had a great day!
    And WTF on your DBFs comment. But it's kind of nice that your brother was there to back you up too.

    Gender bias is so ingrained in most men. My DH finally let Abbey paint his toenails after several months of her pleading. I wouldn't let him tell her "boys don't wear nail polish" so he kept giving her excuse after excuse, until her little eyes welled up one day. The tears did it, and now he has purple toenails.
    Last edited by AbbeysMom; 10-31-2011 at 03:07 PM.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  16. #24706
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    Quote Originally Posted by AbbeysMom View Post
    Take him to see the puppies. Get him to hold one.



    !

    Oh that is an evil idea! Sadly it's like a 3 hour drive and there is NO way in you know what that he would agree to it because he knows we would leave without one. He wants one and I know we will eventually get another one....he just has much better self-control.

    When he gives me an ok on something, I move FAST. he said yes to Cosmo and we had her literally within days. Agreed to adoption and bam, he's in classes and giving them money. I don't give him much time to try to change his mind!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  17. #24707
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    I'm just posting in here so that my #6666 post can be in this thread...tee hee!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    So I try to tempt him and pull up the website from where we got Cosmo and show him cute puppies from time to time to see if he will fall for it....but nothing yet. LOL
    I tried that with DH when I wanted to add dog #2, and it didn't work AT ALL. We both want our next dog to be a Rottweiler, and I'm not sure about going the rescue route this time - between the diseases the breed is prone to and my strongly held beliefs on early spay/neuter (especially for this breed, which is prone to osteosarcoma), we may end up going the breeder route. Fortunately, a friend of mine knows someone that works, titles and does all the appropriate health clearances her dogs, and they apparently have amazing temperaments as well. At least I don't have to worry about lining the pockets of some BYB, but man, I'd really prefer an adult dog.

  19. #24709

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I'm just posting in here so that my #6666 post can be in this thread...tee hee!
    You are evil + 6000! Muahahahahahahaaaa!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post

    Exhausted today. So much end of quarter stuff to get done, payroll for tomorrow, and Mira has a bad ear infection, which I'm completely stressed out about. I wish there was some magical flavorless pill or something I could give her instead of this crappy medicine. Every session is such a battle and I give myself heartburn just thinking about how we're going to manage to get another dose into her, and just how much puking she'll do.
    Suja, too bad that little Mira has an ear infection. I know how it can be so stressful and heartbreaking. Is it that she doesn't like the taste of it, or that her stomach can't keep it down? If it's the first one, I was going to suggest you put her medicine in juice/milk/yogurt/mashed avo or banana or something like that. I'm so sorry she's not well, though. Boo for sick babies.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I can't believe you think you wouldn't be cool enough for anyone! You're like the coolest cat ever!
    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    : I agree with Bridget though, you ARE a cool cat and you never know, maybe she feels the same way
    Awww, thanks, you two. I am starting to strongly suspect that people who seem visibly “cool” to others are the ones who are weirdly aware of it and put out a ‘trying” kind of a vibe. I’ll shamefully put myself in that category. I was a freak/geek in school, and’ve subconsciously clung to some junior high ways of organizing people into groups in my head. It’s so stupid. I’m pretty good at putting the kibosh on self-conscious thoughts that pop into my head, but it’d be so much better if I never had those kinds of thoughts to begin with.

    Speaking of socializing in general … do you ladies ever feel like your partner’s social director? I do. If I didn’t arrange get-togethers for my DH, he’d never get out and socialize. Virtually every male he spends any time with these days, he met through me. And the ironic thing is, once he’s out there socializing, he’s way better at it than me. DH has great childhood friends all on the East Coast. They talk on the phone once every 2-3 months, and he says “I love you, brother” whenever he ends a call with one of them. Out here, though, where he’s lived for 12 years now, he hasn’t made the same bonds. It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t bothered by it, but every once in a blue moon, he complains about missing his buddies and wishing he had more friends out here. I’m like, “Well, why don’t you put some sort of effort into it, then?”
    Two times this weekend, DH missed opportunities to pursue friendships. One guy - with the most righteous Karl Marx beard ever- came over last Friday to the club event I hosted, and it turned out they were both on the technical side of the recording industry. They hung out all night and joked about forming a rock band called “Zero Potential”. DH talked about how interesting and smart he was afterwards. After all that, though, they didn’t exchange any contact info. DH shrugged and said his business cards had been downstairs. Then yesterday at the beach, I came out of the water and DH was talking to this dad of 3. They really hit it off, talking about hiking and backpacking and surfing. I couldn’t even get DH’s attention because they were so into the conversation. When we finally packed up for home, DH said, “I hope we run into those guys again.”

    I’m in the same mommy club as both of these guys’ wives, and I get along ok with both of them. So I’ll probably end up tracking them down just to give DH the chance to hang again. DH is always in a good mood after he’s ‘fraternized’, but it doesn’t occur to him to make plans for himself. I swear, it’s like I have to arrange playdates for him. Sometimes I feel like I lecture him about putting care and feeding into his friendships the way some wives nag their hubbies to eat better and pick up after themselves.
    Last edited by demigraf; 10-31-2011 at 04:41 PM.

  20. #24710

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    I feel like I’m on my last 2 days of being able to overshare, since I start new projects on Wed and won't have as much opportunity to talk your ears off for awhile. So here’s video of Bodhi at the beach last night after his little buddy had gone home and the sun was going down fast. Those two had found a big, gaping hole in the sand with – joy of joys! – a gloppy layer of mud at the bottom of it. It’s cute, but I am sharing the vid not only so you can see how much fun he was having, but to also give you all a sense of just how hard it was to tear him away back to the car. I think if he’d had the vocabulary, he would have been furiously hurling f-bombs at me all the way home. I got an earful of how I’m bad, and daddy was bad, and our house was bad, and our doggies were bad, and he wanted to go back to the beach and I needed to take him back now, leave him there and drive far, far away. It was heartbreaking how much he wanted to go back to that hole. I tried to get him psyched about something else, but it’s really hard to compete with a squishy mud pit!
    Last edited by demigraf; 10-31-2011 at 04:42 PM.

  21. #24711
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Chrissy, I got the laptop connectivity up and running again thanks to you. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that much of the laptop was OEM, so was able to use all the drivers Dell provided on the site. Most of my machines are "franken'puters" made up of random, scrounged-up parts (which is why I never had any Dell disks for the laptop). After all that, the thing is still running dog-slow, so I think I may have a hard drive or controller or processor on its way out. :/.
    After all the updates are applies, XP does run slow. I've found putting Win 7 on the same machine will often make it run faster. I installed it on a bunch of Optiplex GX270s with great success. The only thing is it needs 2 gb of ram.

    If you have intel hardware, they also have a tool on their site that (with administrator permission) will scan your hardware and let you know if there are updated drivers available. Not helpful if you don't have internet connection, but if you can get just that...you're good to go for other stuff.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I had a good birthday. My brother came over and spent the day with us which was great because I adore him. He makes me feel like an old fuddy duddy sometimes. He came in with a huge bottle of wine singing, "We're poppin bottles for Digits (nickname, long story) birthday!" and was like, "Um, I'm nursing my baby."
    Then after the kids went to bed he wanted to do a shot of tequila and I was like, "SHHH Dexter is on!"
    So dbf sat in his chair all.day.long playing online poker. As per usual I cooked for everyone all day but didn't do much cleaning. He's been stomping around all morning cleaning up there and I am just totally acting like I don't notice his attitude.
    There was a totally heated moment yesterday where Kai was wearing a goofy bracelet (anyone remember snap bracelets?) of my brothers. Most of you know my brother is gay, he wears silly things sometimes paints his nails, whatever. Well Kai loved the bracelet and came in saying to dbf, "Daddy, I really love this bracelet and I want one." And dbf replied, "You don't want that ridiculous thing. You're a boy. That is a girl's bracelet."
    I was like dude, come ON. You know it's my brother's and he is clearly a MAN. To which dbf started to laugh!
    Him and my brother exchanged a few words and dbf acted like my brother and I were being soo oversensitive and he was just kidding. I tried explaining that you can't cover up a faux pas by saying your just kidding and you can't always be "kidding" at someone else's expense because it's not funny. Then my brother said, "I'll thank you to keep your gender bias to yourself please." And my brother and I walked out of the room and laughed so hard at what that last sentence that only a gay teacher would throw out in an argument.
    Your brother sounds like fun! at your dbf though. I'm glad you two don't let him get away with that crap though.



    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Speaking of socializing in general … do you ladies ever feel like your partner’s social director? I do. If I didn’t arrange get-togethers for my DH, he’d never get out and socialize.
    Yeah...and that's a great source for a lot of the resentment I'm carrying right now.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #24712
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    I'm sorry I've missed a lot I've been overwhelmed and stressed and not keeping up as good as I'd like to.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #24713
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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    I tried that with DH when I wanted to add dog #2, and it didn't work AT ALL. We both want our next dog to be a Rottweiler, and I'm not sure about going the rescue route this time - between the diseases the breed is prone to and my strongly held beliefs on early spay/neuter (especially for this breed, which is prone to osteosarcoma), we may end up going the breeder route. Fortunately, a friend of mine knows someone that works, titles and does all the appropriate health clearances her dogs, and they apparently have amazing temperaments as well. At least I don't have to worry about lining the pockets of some BYB, but man, I'd really prefer an adult dog.
    I totally get that. I LOVE the idea of rescue for a dog....BUT I really like the idea of having my influence and my healthcare for the dog from early on. I'm interested mostly in another cockapoo....which isn't a purebred but is priced like one....and we have been soooo happy with Cosmo, that I'm sure that we will end up at the breeder we got her from. His place was nice and clean, we got to meet both her parents and she is just a fantastic dog. Almost entirely healthy minus the two seizures she's had a bit older but otherwise very healthy. And so very smart and sweet.
    So often the rescues I have seen say things like no other pets, no small kids, must have fenced yard....just a lot of baggage that wouldn't fit with our family right now.

    Course if I did come across the right dog, I would reconsider. We have an online classifieds at work and sometimes people post trying to find new homes for their dogs....so far I haven't seen anything that would have fit with us though.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #24714
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    Chrissy, nobody's going to kick you out if you don't keep up! Don't get stressed about it. We all go through times of not keeping up.


    Umm, I confess my DH and well really me have NO social life. In two weeks we will have been living here for 5 years and we have no friends. I mean I chat with work people and he will chat with work people but we don't socialize outside of work.
    I have my bff but she lives like 90 minutes away and we see each other like once a year....and her hubby while nice enough is very different from mine. So we hang out together with them and her kid/kids now but they aren't really friends. And my sister we are really close too but when she does get married, it won't be a guy to be bff's with my DH.
    Oh we have socialized a brief amount with other couples in our adoption group but again, while nice enough I don't see any best friend connections forming.
    Basically I was 19 and he was 21 when we got together and his hs buddies and him were going in different directions and once we started dating, we were always together and became each others best friend.
    In many ways I like it like this....we both are clingy and so it works out well that when not at work, we are usually together. But sometimes I do wish that we could meet a few people here and feel that connection.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #24715
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    In my head
    Posts
    11,932

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    So much to catch up on, I'm sure I'll leave out most of what I wanted to follow up on.

    With my 2 dogs I'm dogged out for the moment. Love them but don't need another one in my life. Unless one were to walk in my door, otherwise we'll have to wait. Plus I'm constantly at the vet with my cat so I've got all I can handle in the animal department.

    Myles, I have to confess if we met IRL I'm sure I wouldn't be cool enough to hang out with you. So there.

    Which is a nice transition to socializing. I have lots of work friends but we rarely hang out outside of work. A few people, but I'm rather a boring person and I really prefer to stay in. DH is the same way, but worse so on the rare occasions I do want to socialize, he doesn't.

    Bridget, I can't believe your dbf acting like that around your brother. Well, I suppose I can but that's too bad. My DH is a military guy so very "macho" and my brother is more of a hipster. Definitely not gay or effeminate, but very interested in fashion, design, and other not so stereotypically manly stuff. Oddly, they get along very well. I'd have a hard time if DH had a problem with my brother. Paul is way cooler than I ever dreamed of being. Cool enough to hang out with Myles, even. ;)

    Suja, that's wonderful about your friend. It gives all of us STC'ers hope to hear stories like that.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 10-31-2011 at 07:39 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #24716
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    In my head
    Posts
    11,932

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    Oh - and daylight savings time. We don't do that here, at all. One of the things I actually do about AZ. It does mean waking up in the pitch dark and going to work as the sun rises in winter, though, and I start work at 8:00. Well, at 8:15 I suppose. ;)
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #24717

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    I don't plan get togethers for DH any more than I plan them for myself ;) We are both pretty socially awkward unless we can talk about the one or two things we are really interested in. The most socialization DH gets is lunch with coworkers and the occasional holiday party. The most socialization I get is going to church, playdates and kids parties.

    It's very odd because we both lament that we don't have more friends and that we don't often get invited out to things but neither of us wants to do the work to make and upkeep friendships.

  28. #24718
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    In front of my computer
    Posts
    29,722

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    We don't have any friends that are married couples...but when I say 'socialize' I mean anything from family dinners, to bowling or even movies. Rich would never do any of that stuff if I didn't initiate it. No family dinners or even holiday or birthday celebrations. It's all me me me every time.

    I don't even worry about whether I'm 'cool' enough for anyone. Not sure why that is because I grew up very shy and unsure of myself. I guess I got over that. I've met quite a few APA moms and would love to meet all of you-the thought never crosses my mind about whether I'm cool enough or what we'd talk about. Maybe because my thoughts are always so tangential that I don't really struggle with topic jumping? I'm sure I have a flaw there but I put it to good use.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #24719

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    I need friends, but DH is usually along for the ride at social outings. But he's always up for it too.

    Tonight we went to our neighborhood mom's group Halloween pre-party. Abbey made Daddy dress like a kitty:




    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  30. #24720

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    Cute strawberry costume!!!

    My dh has more friends. If we ever parted, I would return to my personal isolation very soon. I just don't naturally have making/keeping/cultivating friends as a priority as I would almost always much rather do art or read or organize myself. Like I said in an earlier post, I think I have a touch of some kind of social anxiety disorder so going out, making friends, etc. really stresses me out. I don't mind giving dinner parties or having parties in my house, though. Partly because my dh cooks, so all I have to worry about is a clean house, clean dishes and clean clothing. Before him I had never given a dinner party before and now we have people over at least twice a month. It's nice.

    I'm freaking out a little bit about JoJo's birthday party this weekend. We have had only ONE person reply no, so now our total guest list is OVER FIFTY PEOPLE!!! As long as the weather holds I think we will be okay because we can have the backyard. If it rains then we are screwed. The only time I will say this, but thank goodness it never rains here I think for favors I will just get gift certificates at the local ice cream place, a helium balloon and a cd from the children's entertainer we hired. I hate favor bags - always just full of crap I throw away as soon as we get home - AND they are so flippin' expensive!!! Of course JoJo now hates cupcakes and wants a real cake - how big of a cake to serve 50?

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


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