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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #24481

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    L, that is so funny! Don't you wonder sometimes where they get it from.

    Talking about stranger danger worries me too, especially since I have seen shows where children, even after talking to them about not going with strangers, a lot of the children still went with the strangers. Sometimes I wish I didn't remember details of crimes against children I have read about or seen in the news over the years. shudder
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  2. #24482
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I don't know about local ordinances there either, but I'll 2nd that a hot fence won't cause any animals any harm. It just gives them a jolt and they stay away. I've grabbed one myself once.
    Yeah I don't know if we could have one (and I know DH wouldn't go for it...he didn't even like the garden in the first place out back). Technically I think I'm supposed to get permission for a fence but we don't have an association and my neighbor fenced in his yard. I know we aren't supposed to have composts but I have seen a few bins, not supposed to have clotheslines but again have seen those. Oh and no supposed to have campers/boats in the driveway....well duh this is northern WI and all summer like have the houses have had one or the other in the driveway.

    Molly, I will have to keep that concoction in mind for next summer. I wonder if I can get those things at menards or if I have to go specialty store.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #24483

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    Josh makes me sound like a total lush. He always says stuff like "do you have any wine? I know you like wine. You should go buy some more." I swear I'm not a lush. I think it's because on most special occasions and holidays DH buys me some of my favorite wine and Josh sees that.

    The whole "don't talk to strangers" thing is confusing. I try to explain it to him but then I talk to strangers who say hi, or who tell me Josh is cute, or ask how old he is, and he says "Do you know that person? Why are you talking to them?"

  4. #24484
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    L, I needed that laugh!

    My good news for the day is that my knee hurts much less than it has been, and I don't feel that odd joint-not-working sensation. I think I'm starting to heal, after a full month of limping and no improvement!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #24485

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    L, you put your kids to bed 2 hrs before mine went down (based on your timestamp). Mine's still mumbling next to memin his sleep. Yes, I'd love a bacony b. sprout recipe, please.

    Shelley, never heard of that camera, but it sounds handy when it works. My BIL works for Sony and always gets these futuristic gadgets. A couple xmases ago, it was the "party camera". Just set it up on it's stand and it used a sensor to detect faces. Presto! Automated candid party photos. He also just whipped out the new NEX(?) camera, small as a point and shoot, but works with all interchangeable Sony lenses like an SLR. Good optics and image quality. Had a syNdard flash shoe too. He said he'd pass it on when he was done with it. I hope he moves onto his next toy soon.


    Also on topic of photos, am disappointed for 2 reasons: 1) new lens bought on eBay doesn't auto focus on my camera - it's either defective or I misread its specs and 2) professional portraits taken as present for/with my parents anniversary turned out terrible. Not only did I look like a drag queen (not so used to makeup) but my mom kinda looked like Kim Jong Il, and photo quality was snapshotty. I had a bad feeling when I saw the photographer's equipment. Last time I purchase a Groupon type of deal for portraits. The photog completely phoned it in. I take much better pics, and that's not saying much.

    Yelp review in the works.

    Mandy, I'm sorry that you even *might* have had a chemical.

  6. #24486

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    L, you put your kids to bed 2 hrs before mine went down (based on your timestamp). Mine's still mumbling next to memin his sleep. Yes, I'd love a bacony b. sprout recipe, please.

    Shelley, never heard of that camera, but it sounds handy when it works. My BIL works for Sony and always gets these futuristic gadgets. A couple xmases ago, it was the "party camera". Just set it up on it's stand and it used a sensor to detect faces. Presto! Automated candid party photos. He also just whipped out the new NEX(?) camera, small as a point and shoot, but works with all interchangeable Sony lenses like an SLR. Good optics and image quality. Had a syNdard flash shoe too. He said he'd pass it on when he was done with it. I hope he moves onto his next toy soon.


    Also on topic of photos, am disappointed for 2 reasons: 1) new lens bought on eBay doesn't auto focus on my camera - it's either defective or I misread its specs and 2) professional portraits taken as present for/with my parents anniversary turned out terrible. Not only did I look like a drag queen (not so used to makeup) but my mom kinda looked like Kim Jong Il, and photo quality was snapshotty. I had a bad feeling when I saw the photographer's equipment. Last time I purchase a Groupon type of deal for portraits. The photog completely phoned it in. I take much better pics, and that's not saying much.

    Yelp review in the works.

    Mandy, I'm sorry that you even *might* have had a chemical.

  7. #24487
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Gwenn, I'm glad your knee is feeling better. I would wonder about the strange cycle, too.

    I think it's a good idea to clean out the garage every year or so, and then it's not an insurmountable task. I wish we could stay on top of cleaning our shed out that often, but it's mostly dh's space and it's gotten out of hand and I pretty much can't interfere with it without it becoming a territory issue now. Plus it's hard enough staying on top of the house cleaning.

    I don't think it's that great of an idea to say "Don't talk to strangers," like I mentioned above, and I didn't like it when DS came home saying that he'd learned that in school. I reminded him that we talk to strangers all the time, when we greet people in the bank or make friends in playgrounds or when people walking their dogs in the park tell us we can pet their dogs, or when firemen let us climb up in the fire truck. We don't know any of those people, but it's common courtesy to exchange greetings as we pass by and have interactions in our daily lives.

    After that little exercise tonight, I told the twins that if someone tries to get them to go away without checking with their grown-up, like me or dh or their teacher, no matter how important or appealing the offer, that means that person is not following the grown-up rules. That the twins must have noticed in the past that if someone needs their help or wants their company or even wants to give them a treat, that person asks the grown-up who is with them (me or dh or their teacher) if it is okay first, and if someone ever tries to do that without checking with their grown-up, they're breaking the rules and that they could be unsafe about other things and the twins should not go with them.

    Interestingly, I was at a twin get-together at a park, and DD was on the swings (I was watching her) and a man started swinging next to her. I thought he was with the group at first. He talked to her, and a few minutes later she got up and came over to me. She told me she didn't like him. I realized a little bit later that he wasn't part of the group and was a little developmentally disabled, but not enough to be completely obvious, just enough to keep talking about his hat and be slightly creepy. I found it interesting that DD got a vibe that he wasn't like all the other men there and came back to me, despite her being the girl most likely to get in trouble.

    Anyway, Krystal5 on APA (and my closest local APA buddy) does a lot of rescue work and she says the stranger danger thing totally backfires when looking for kids lost in the woods, because they hide and won't respond to rescuers. I've seen a couple of articles about missing children who weren't found for days because they were hiding from the strangers who were looking for them. Here is a brief article about it.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 10-24-2011 at 11:06 PM.


  8. #24488

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    Lydia, I love the way you described that to your kids. I've always had a problem with the "don't talk to strangers" rule too because you are right, we talk to them all the time. I have done a lot of role playing with the kids as to what they should do in those situations. I remember when Savana was about 3 years old, I said (playing the stranger) "Come on, come with me, I have some candy for you." and she said, "Oh, I know what I would say! I would say, 'Are there any artificial dyes?"
    My kids play in the front gated yard from sun up to sundown some days and if I have to come in to prepare lunch, or change Sawyer or whatever (i can always hear them but not always see them) before I go in each time I remind them that if someone pulls up or walks up to the house no matter who it is (even if it's daddy's friends, even if it's the neighbor with the cute dog, even if it's the mail carrier) they are to yell, "Mommy" at the top of their lungs and come running to get me. They always do. We see the mail carrier every day but we still don't "know" her, I tell them.

    I have memories of totally confusing the word "stranger" and "monster" all the time as a young child. And the problem is that a stranger usually looks nothing like a monster.
    Last edited by Bridget; 10-25-2011 at 05:25 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    My good news for the day is that my knee hurts much less than it has been, and I don't feel that odd joint-not-working sensation. I think I'm starting to heal, after a full month of limping and no improvement!
    I'm really glad to hear that Mandy.

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    The photog completely phoned it in. I take much better pics, and that's not saying much.
    Ok, your pics are gorgeous. I'd pay you to take our family pics!

    I'm sorry your photography session didn't come out well with that other guy What a bummer.

    I gotta get portraits of Bobbie and Conner done. I'm getting the school pics of Jesi & Sydney and thought it would be sad to not have pics of the other two from the same period of time. I don't buy school pics every year.

    Stranger danger freaks me out. For me, the worry got worse after they were teenagers. I know they're out there being social and meeting new friends. It's great for them...most the time. The hardest thing about being a parent is knowing you can't protect your child 24/7 throughout their entire life. It's a very helpless feeling.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #24490
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    Gwen I am glad that your knee is feeling better!!

    I'm glad you ladies brought that up, it gives me some time to think about how to approach the subject of strangers with N.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  11. #24491

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Here's what just happened to me tonight: I was lying in bed with the twins after bedtime stories and just on a whim asked them what they would do if a stranger approached them and asked them to help him look for a lost puppy or told them he had some candy in his car. DD said, "I'd tell him, 'Would you like a bottle of wine to go with your candy? I'll be right back with one!'" WTF? Girl voted most likely to get in trouble!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Lydia, I love the way you described that to your kids. I've always had a problem with the "don't talk to strangers" rule too because you are right, we talk to them all the time. I have done a lot of role playing with the kids as to what they should do in those situations. I remember when Savana was about 3 years old, I said (playing the stranger) "Come on, come with me, I have some candy for you." and she said, "Oh, I know what I would say! I would say, 'Are there any artificial dyes?"
    Okay, those two started my day off on a good laughing note!!

    I spoke to Ky regarding "strangers" by not saying they are"strangers" they are just people we don't know and not all strangers are bad. I did and still tell him not to talk to anyone when/if he is outside riding his bike (he likes to ride his bike across the street from us in a parking lot that no one ever parks in and I used to let him until a guy moved in a few houses down with dogs he doesn't keep contained and I'm more afraid of the dogs attacking Ky than a stranger). Or if he and his cousin walk to the store I let them know not to talk to anyone and run home screaming if someone follows or bothers them. I also told him about who to ask for help if he is ever seperated from us, that he should go to a police officer in an actual police car (because people pretend to be police officers sometimes and it should be a specific car that he knows is our city police's cruiser). I also gave him locations in our neighborhood to go ask for help, our crazy neighbor lady (who is weird, which is why I call her that but she is our neighborhood nosy busy body so looks out for everyone/everything so is a good resource) or to Family Dollar and have them call the police, which is 2 blocks away and we know everyone who works there or to a church right before Family Dollar since DH knows the people over there from going to church a few times and a few random people in our neighborhood including our neighborhood association president, a friend who used to be a state representataive who lives in our neighborhood, and a family who lives a few blocks away who we know from school. Also the Boys and Girls club on the corner where he goes in the summer. I frequently quiz him on these locations. He should never get in anyone's car at all except his aunt or cousins who live here and if someone says they were sent to pick him up he should ask to call me or his dad or his aunt or one of his cousins before going somewhere with someone. I made him memorize 4 contact numbers, including my own and DH's when he was 5 and put a list in his backpack of other relatives/close friends he should call to ask to pick him up instead of someone he doesn't know.

    Erin

  12. #24492
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    When we were little we didn't live near the school we went to so my mom or another mom in the neighborhood (we sometimes carpooled) would drop us off and pick us up. There were four families we played with on our block and knew and we all went to that school. Anyway mom gave us a password and said that if anyone else other than her/dad/auntie/those other parents came to pick us up we were NOT to get in the car with them unless they had the password.
    I don't recall it being so much about not talking to strangers but not GOING anywhere with a stranger. Not into their house, not into their car.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #24493
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    So uh my DH has a new hobby.....legos. We had to go to the store Saturday because he had to have some right away and picked one set and a basic starter one. I have three things coming in the mail this week from amazon and he set up a wish list at lego.com that has 17!!! things on it. Seems the goal is to have some houses, a city with streets, trains, cars. It is cute how much fun he has playing with them already and planning out things. I just wish that they were a little bit cheaper!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #24494

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    Gwen I am glad that your knee is feeling better!!

    I'm glad you ladies brought that up, it gives me some time to think about how to approach the subject of strangers with N.
    This. Well, both of these. I am happy for Mandy's knee. (Seemed so disruptive.) And I hadn't really thought about the stranger discussion w/ B yet. I am still in the stage - from the baby days - where I encourage him to be cute and occasionally still blow kisses. I suppose it's a good thing, then, that he's naturally apprehensive of new adults - not children so much. New adults tend to make B a little surly, and on the occasion where I'm like "He said hello, can you say hi back?", B looks at me with an expression that says "I'm not your monkey." So you can see why we haven't been focusing on the stranger danger thing over here.

    I stayed up after B went to sleep to finish a painting. It was 99% there, but then took this weird turn and now it makes me queasy when I look at it. Not the effect I intended. If I have time, I'll snap and post a pic before leaving for the day. Right now we're playing Tangrams geometric puzzles and Bodhi is making a heart that he says looks like Mickey Mouse.

  15. #24495
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    I mainly focused on never going anywhere with strangers with my kids. I also taught them the windmill arm motion (I think that's what it's called) and told them repeatedly that if they were out on their bike and someone tried to grab them, they could lay down and cling to their bike, while shrieking "YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY/DADDY!". it would be virtually impossible for anyone to grab a bike and a child together, and even small children can wrap their arms and legs around one tight enough that an adult can't get them lose.

    These are worse case scenarios of course.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Mylah- per my chef friend, here is the recipe:

    1 - cut the little bottoms off of a pound brussles sprouts. This is because I don't like it when I get a sprout and the stem part is old looking - it's distasteful.
    2 - halve the brussles lengthwise
    3 - blanch the brussles sprout halves for 5 mins (or until just tender) to get the cooking started
    4 - Mince 1/2 cup shallots, leeks, or scallions
    5 - In a large flat saute pan cook 1/2 pound (or more) bacon until crispy. Drain the bacon on paper towels to cool then crumble into pieces. Pour out most of the bacon drippings but have enough to cook the onions (#4)
    6 - Once the onions are translucent add the brussles sprouts and a splash of wine if handy. Water will work. The idea is to get the tasty bacon parts left by the cooking bacon all loosened up while warming the veggies.
    7 - Season with sea salt, pepper and a generous squeeze of lemon juice
    8 - Crumble bacon over top. Toss to combine and transfer to a serving dish.
    9 - Serve hot.


  17. #24497

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    I tried talking with J about the stranger thing and ran up against the same problem in that we do talk to strangers. I have talked to her about if someone tries to take her away that she should yell out "This is NOT my mommy!" or "This is NOT my daddy!" I asked her to repeat what she should say and she yelled out "This is not my mommy OR my daddy!!!"

    I like some of the ways you all are addressing it and will save them to refer to as we are getting to the point where she will start understanding it.

    My favorite brussels sprouts recipe is fiddly but so good: separate the leaves of the brussels sprouts (or sometimes I slice them very thin across the grain so I get longer ribbons, but it really is better with the whole leaves). Rinse and saute in a frying pan with a little olive oil until bright green. Toss is some unsalted roasted pistachio nuts, a little salt and pepper and squeeze some lemon or lime juice over top. It makes for a really fresh, bright and crunchy dish - very satisfying. And it doesn't get that taste I can only describe as "olive green" that you get when you boil or steam them whole.

    And yes, APA has been getting stuck for me for the past few days.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  18. #24498

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    I will have to remember all this stranger danger advice when it's time to talk to Gilly. Right now he's always with us, so I have not even talked to him about any of it yet. Not sure I will use the term "stranger" though, makes it sound too "monster" like.

    G and I are making monster cookies today, I've never made them before, I sure have eaten them before, never made them myself though.

    Mandy, glad your knee is feeling better.

    I was just watching video/looking at pictures of the 2 week old baby rescued from the earthquake in Turkey. It's really moving to see that tiny little baby in rescue workers arms. The baby, her mother, and grandmother all survived. Just incredible.
    Shelley-mom to DS, 6

  19. #24499

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    Yum! Brussel sprouts! I'm a late-comer to being able to appreciate them. And beets too. I hated beets until practically this year. Last Thanksgiving, a mommy/baby pair joined my family because her hubby was out of town for the holiday, and she brought this brussel sprout salad. The main feature of the dish was a vinegar-y marinade. I have been meaning to get recipe from her.

    Thank you both for sharing your brussel sprout recipes.

    Katy, the pistachios and slivered brussel sprouts sounds divine. And L, I can imagine that the recipe you shared is full of umami. Umami is one of my favorite words. I always told DH that if we get another pet of any sort, I want to name it Umami. He already put his foot down about naming our second child Umami.

    ETA: I just vividly remembered this story I heard on NPR about umami yrs ago. I was living still in So Cal, had recently gotten married and was driving on my way to Weight Watchers with my mouth watering at the time. LOL! http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...oryId=15819485

    Shelley, I'm pretty sure I'd cry if I saw that footage. Anything involving a child these days seems to be a surefire way to start the waterworks in me.
    Last edited by demigraf; 10-25-2011 at 11:49 AM.

  20. #24500

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    Since I mentioned it, here's a pic of the painting I worked on last night, taken w/ my camera phone. It was meant to have a happy "bright spot" type of a vibe, but it makes me feel really unsettled to look at it.


  21. #24501
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    This is from a friend, who is a brussel sprouts lover:

    For your brussel sprouts, just cut the bottoms off, slice in half (or quarters for big ones), and throw them in the hot pan with a mix of butter and olive oil with a dash of chicken bullion (I don't know why it makes it better, but it does). Or, if you have it, pancetta, some country ham dice, etc. is really good to grill first, then add some olive oil to the pan just before throwing them. Let them brown a bit, then deglaze with wine. From there, you can add a tiny bit of cream and parmesan, or some good canned chopped tomatoes and a bit of cream and parmesan, or just eat them as is.

    Umami is not a bad name for a dog. My SIL wanted to name her child Gatsby. We convinced her to name the dog instead.
    Last edited by Suja; 10-25-2011 at 11:53 AM.

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    All this talk of Brussel Sprouts has made me SUPER hungry

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    TBH It kind of bothers me too. I definitely wouldn't want it hanging over my bed 'watching' me

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  24. #24504

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    TBH It kind of bothers me too. I definitely wouldn't want it hanging over my bed 'watching' me
    True.

  25. #24505

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    Quote Originally Posted by Suja View Post
    This is from a friend, who is a brussel sprouts lover:

    For your brussel sprouts, just cut the bottoms off, slice in half (or quarters for big ones), and throw them in the hot pan with a mix of butter and olive oil with a dash of chicken bullion (I don't know why it makes it better, but it does). Or, if you have it, pancetta, some country ham dice, etc. is really good to grill first, then add some olive oil to the pan just before throwing them. Let them brown a bit, then deglaze with wine. From there, you can add a tiny bit of cream and parmesan, or some good canned chopped tomatoes and a bit of cream and parmesan, or just eat them as is.

    Umami is not a bad name for a dog. My SIL wanted to name her child Gatsby. We convinced her to name the dog instead.
    I think it's one of those perfect onomatopoeic words, because you take a first bite and in your mind, your brain goes "Ooohh mmmmmmmommy!"


    Thanks for that recipe too, Suja.

    Ok, now to do some actual work...

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Since I mentioned it, here's a pic of the painting I worked on last night, taken w/ my camera phone. It was meant to have a happy "bright spot" type of a vibe, but it makes me feel really unsettled to look at it.
    Gotta agree on that. It doesn't make me think sunshine and unicorns for sure. It's beautiful, but in a dark and twisted sort of way.

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    Well I for one love that painting. Would you sell it?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Umami ... that is SO interesting! I've never heard the term before. I'm going to have to read that website in detail.

    About the painting, I'm extremely impressed. I could never produce anything like it. I do see what you mean though ... I looked at it for a while and I think there's an "eye" in the center of the red that is looking back at me. And it's a pointy eye.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    True.
    I hope you didn't take that offensively, I just realized that it may have come across a little rude I do find it to be a beautiful work of art, despite the eye staring at me

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  30. #24510

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    No offense taken at all, Christina! I like blunt...perhaps because I don't have the balls to be as blunt as I want to be much of the time. So I'm endeared to people who don't hold themselves back. Most of my closest friends today are the ones who capped on me really hard when we first met. And anyway, you weren't that harsh at all.

    I don't have anywhere to store it, so I'm just going to put the painting over my fireplace mantel until I feel motivated/stop pouting over it enough to start changing it. When I lived in that old furniture warehouse, I used to keep paintings in-progress hung on my walls as though they were done, and then I would just paint them a little more here and there. My live-in boyfriend at the time was always kept guessing which painting was a little different from day to day. I drove myself crazy, though, since I was never ever truly done with any of them. I don't think I ever finished a single one, and now I don't know what happened to all those paintings. For all I know, they got painted over by the artists in residence there when I moved out.

    I haven't painted in years until now, but I was at an artist's garage sale last spring and found 7 3'x3' canvas frames in a box. I'd never stretched a canvas before, but I was feeling brave and my walls were bare, so I bought the whole box of them for $5. Then I discovered this place in the bad part of San Francisco for the canvas fabric called "SCRAP - (Scrounger’s Center for Reusable Art Parts)". You could pick out armloads of stuff like fabric, hundreds of yards of sewing elastic in rolls (let's put it this way: Bodhi will never be out of pajama bottoms EVER) and bits of glass/tile/dollheads/threads/mesh/buttons etc. for your creative projects and they'll charge you $10 for it all. I used wall primer as the base instead of pricey Gesso because, let's face it, I'm not going to be hanging on a museum wall 100 years from now. I just want stuff to put up on my walls. I'm sure real artists out there are cringing at my words. So that's the story of how I got started on that painting. It really was meant to represent a "bright spot" in one's day, but Steve says it reminds him of a forest fire in the snow. Honestly, I can't stop seeing a crab whenever I look at it. With a big creepy eye in the middle. Eeks!
    Last edited by demigraf; 10-26-2011 at 01:48 AM.

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