Secular Confessions

[Cosmosmom]

Is it this book? http://www.amazon.com/Banana-Fate-Fr...9224836&sr=1-1

It's one we have in our library.

OMG Myles, I cannot believe how scary some of your stories are! So different from how my life has gone by....I'm not a risk taker or big adventure person at all. Grew up rather sheltered and had a pretty happy childhood.
And I'm a pretty happy adult....my bff and I talk about this kind of thing a lot. She very much into career and ambition and challenge.....I just wanna do what it takes for me to be happy. And I'm happy just chilling out at home with DH and Cosmo. I consider myself to be a pretty lucky person.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh I love our shuttle driver....he's just the right amount of chatty. And we all say thank you too when stepping off. Funny you would think that a smaller town hospital wouldn't need to park employees so far away but guess we do! It's about 1.5 miles so walkable but not when weather is icky.

I do think that she will probably be more prone to lipomas given her breeds but since it was the first one we wanted to get it checked out after waiting a bit to see if it would get better or worse. And well because she is only 8 and I'm hoping she gets to 15 or 16. My first cockapoo made it 16.5.

[3andMe]

My dad and the rest of his group were kidnapped and held for ransom ($200,000 + a metal detector) on one of their trips to Africa. I can't remember exactly how they escaped, but it was right at the beginning of their trip and they decided to just scrap the rest of it and come home that time. I used to want to travel to Africa, but I pretty much decided long ago that I will never go there. There are so many other places to travel where people are more inclined to be kind rather than cruel.

[Bridget]

I don't have a bus driver/shuttle story but I've plenty of wacked out cab drivers. There was one in Hawaii who used to give me a free ride if I would take his Christian literature.

[Smplyme89]

I don't think I've ever ridden in a taxi or a bus (not since school anyways)

[Ky'sMom]

I don't have a bus driver/shuttle story but I've plenty of wacked out cab drivers. There was one in Hawaii who used to give me a free ride if I would take his Christian literature.

May be hypocritical but I would SOOO have taken his cab all the time!

I'm good at ignoring people when I want to and in my 20s I would have so taken advantage of him.

L that is interesting about Africa. What country did your dad go to? I mostly hear about people being kidnapped and held for ransom in S. America. That would be scary to have happen to a loved one!

I have always wanted to go to Africa though. Africa and Asia moreso than S America, any other country in N. America, or Europe. Not saying I wouldn't go want to go anywhere but Africa is some place I have always wanted to go. I don't even think it is because it is part of my heritage it is mostly because I've known a lot of people from different countries, mostly Ghana and I love hearing about their homeland and it seems really laid back. I mostly want to go to Ghana or Kenya or Egypt, but I wouldn't go to either Kenya or Egypt within the next few years at least because of recent events there but places like Ghana or Botswana or Zanzibar or Madagascar, I would go to in a heartbeat.

People think I'm crazy because I would like to retire in an African country like Ghana or Senegal, a nice stable country where my money will go far. I even would like to retire in India. People tell me I am nuts LOL!

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

I take taxis when in big cities like when Chicago or NYC. Have also done the bus a few times but not really so much. and in Minneapolis I love taking the light rail. We park near Mall of America and take the light rail to downtown and not have to deal with parking or traffic there. It also goes through the airport so it is really quite handy and cheap.

Christina....I have to say after Chicago drivers, FL ones are the worst we have seen. We drove to DW in April and OMG it was either slow old people who didn't know what they were doing or really fast people driving crazy (like Chicago drivers).

I have to say when first looking at adoption, our top choice was to go to Colombia....but not until I did a lot of research about safety and learning it has drastically changed in the past 10-15 years, especially in places like Bogota. But we couldn't get on a wait list to get on the official wait list so yeah we changed programs and agencies.

[missychrissy]

Erin, I think you're crazy for a lot of reasons. And I say that admiringly.

My dad and the rest of his group were kidnapped and held for ransom ($200,000 + a metal detector) on one of their trips to Africa. I can't remember exactly how they escaped, but it was right at the beginning of their trip and they decided to just scrap the rest of it and come home that time. I used to want to travel to Africa, but I pretty much decided long ago that I will never go there. There are so many other places to travel where people are more inclined to be kind rather than cruel.

When did this happen? Before you were born?

I don't have a bus driver/shuttle story but I've plenty of wacked out cab drivers. There was one in Hawaii who used to give me a free ride if I would take his Christian literature.

That is crazy! At this stage of my life, I'm not sure how I'd handle that. Cheap me might just take him up on it, but secular me might get offended and just want to pay.

I don't think I've ever ridden in a taxi or a bus (not since school anyways)

I never did till I worked at Cornell either (just over 3.5 years ago). Now I ride it all the time. One of our perks is our employee badges will get us city bus rides to/from downtown Ithaca or to the Ithaca mall for free. And they subsidize my monthly bus pass to/from work from my rural community. I only pay $40/month to go to work. I couldn't drive 60 miles a day for that. They're very 'green' here (or try to be) so there are a lot of incentives to ride the bus. Plus, when I do have to drive in, our parking lots are just over a mile away so I would take the shuttle on nasty weather days anyway.

[3andMe]

L that is interesting about Africa. What country did your dad go to? I mostly hear about people being kidnapped and held for ransom in S. America. That would be scary to have happen to a loved one!


People think I'm crazy because I would like to retire in an African country like Ghana or Senegal, a nice stable country where my money will go far. I even would like to retire in India. People tell me I am nuts LOL!

Erin

I believe it was the Central African Republic. That was during a lot of political unrest. Although I don't think there is actually any political rest there.

DH and I plan on retiring someplace where elders are respected and our money will go far, probably SE Asia somewhere. We really liked Indonesia. We hope to have a nice little house in a tropical country with a banana tree and a mango tree and if necessary, someone who will come in and care for us and will never leave us to lie in our own filth as is so often the case in the US.

[Bridget]

I took cabs in Hawaii usually only at night for safety and even then not always because I didn't want to pay. It was always nice out so I could walk anywhere but there are a lot of crazies in Hawaii so my friends and coworkers would get very upset with me for walking at night.

And hells yes I took that cab whenever possible. He'd even preach during the ride and I'd just stare out the window and not respond. Then when he pulled up he's say, "And this ride is on me if you will take and read this literature." Luckily he did not ever quiz me.

[Bridget]

We hope to have a nice little house in a tropical country with a banana tree and a mango tree and if necessary, someone who will come in and care for us and will never leave us to lie in our own filth as is so often the case in the US.

This is what I hope for as well.

[demigraf]

Is it this book? http://www.amazon.com/Banana-Fate-Fr...9224836&sr=1-1

It's one we have in our library.

Yes! And I found the NPR story, which was apparently a re-broadcast, but you can listen to the whole thing if you like. http://www.npr.org/2011/08/30/139787...favorite-fruit

To be honest, I don't really see my stories as particularly scary, just cautionary tales about knowing what you're getting into. For one thing, to people in other parts of the world, one's "scary" is their every day. And the same person who's not afraid to retrieve his fishing nets from a river full of piranhas might find riding the subway terrifying. Stuff like riding on the roof of a bus with the luggage is totally commonplace in other countries, and relatively safe if the driver goes slowly, you're well-positioned and you keep your wits about you, but out here, it's seen as a great danger and unheard of. And for another thing, I wasn't actually directly in harm's way at any time; I was just more in situations where it could have gone REALLY wrong if it had gone wrong. And how often are we in those situations on a daily basis? I am a lot more cautious now that I'm a mom, however. Like, I'm not sure if I'm going do any more dives.

Well, if I go to Tanzania/Mozambique one day (top of a wish list), I probably will.

L. Jaysus, about your dad! I remember the day my dad got acid in his eye on the job and that freaked me out enough.

[missychrissy]

No kiddin L.

Bridget, crazies in Hawaii just doesn't sit well with my mental image of it!! I wonder how that taxi driver could afford to do that?

[raspberry]

It's so nice here, G and I were outside this morning in the front yard enjoying the cooler weather. G had on underwear and shorts, and he had to go pee, so he pulled his shorts down and held his penis up and his pee shot out, this long stream that went on forever LOL...and G squealed "my pee is like a mountain!" rotf. I love boys.

I'm watching Parenthood online, such a good show. I love Crosby. and wow does Jason Ritter look like his dad or what.

L, that is crazy about your dad. When did that happen? My inlaws have a home in Cape Town South Africa, they bought there in the late 90's. My dh and I went there on our honeymoon, it's such a beautiful country. I went there not knowing what to expect, but I really fell in love with it. The scenery is amazing, and the people are so nice. We've talked about moving there but what we would do for a living.

[demigraf]

DH and I plan on retiring someplace where elders are respected and our money will go far, probably SE Asia somewhere. We really liked Indonesia. We hope to have a nice little house in a tropical country with a banana tree and a mango tree and if necessary, someone who will come in and care for us and will never leave us to lie in our own filth as is so often the case in the US.

I told DH that if we're retiring on MY savings, I get to make the call on where we retire, and it'll be to somewhere in the tropics (though Central America is where I have my sights set).

[raspberry]

my husband's aunt lives in Spain, and her husband is in a nursing home, everybody at the home treats the residents like they are your grandparents. They give them hugs and kisses, and treat them like gold. I think that so nice. People there really appreciate and take care of their elders.

[missychrissy]

my husband's aunt lives in Spain, and her husband is in a nursing home, everybody at the home treats the residents like they are your grandparents. They give them hugs and kisses, and treat them like gold. I think that so nice. People there really appreciate and take care of their elders.

What is wrong with us I mean America as a society of course. Our nursing homes are deplorable.

[AbbeysMom]

NPR (and Ken Burns) can make almost anything riveting.

---

I'm sorry about the anniversary Bridget.

[raspberry]

On Maui, in Lahaina, there is a huge banyan tree, and there used to be this Jesus looking dude, talking about the end of the world, with a sign that read, "the end is near". He would yell at passersby, then mumble under his breath, then start yelling again. Not sure why I am telling this story. But Chrissy you mentioned crazy people in Hawaii.

[Suja]

I have always wanted to go to Africa though. Africa and Asia moreso than S America, any other country in N. America, or Europe. [....]
People think I'm crazy because I would like to retire in an African country like Ghana or Senegal, a nice stable country where my money will go far. I even would like to retire in India. People tell me I am nuts LOL!

Erin

I want to go to South America before the Amazon is all gone. I want to go to Glacier National Park for the same reason. Yes, definitely certain African countries and Asian countries. Just waiting for Mira to be a little older so travel won't be a nightmare.

And it's definitely not crazy to retire some place where your $$$ will go far. My parents could never have afforded to retire here. Their SS and pension would be enough to put a roof over their head and eat Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They retired to India - best move EVAH! They don't know what to do with their money, and they take several vacations inside India yearly, and one trip abroad every other year (usually here, to visit the grandkids).

[girlwonder]

My aunt was a communist/freedom fighter (depending on your side) in Mozambique in the 70's. She almost got blown up by a letter bomb when her mentor/boss opened a letter. Her boss was killed instantly. My aunt was injured and in the hospital she learned she was pregnant and so stopped being actively involved in the day to day fighting. She had her baby, got married to the much younger man show was the father (later divorced), moved to The Hague and worked with the UN's International Court of Justice. Her daughter recently moved back to Mozambique where her father still lives - she's a chip off the old block, activist very left politically, etc.

[Suja]

What is wrong with us I mean America as a society of course. Our nursing homes are deplorable.

This is not meant to be a knock on anyone, but IMO, there are very selfish attitudes when it comes to family. A lot of people are concerned with having relationships with their spouses/children and don't realize just how important it is for their kids to know their extended family.

When DH was visiting my cousin in Toulouse, France, he said that it was such a common sight to see entire families out for walks, grandkids holding their grandparents' hands as they stroll down the sidewalk, people getting together for family gatherings on weekends. We don't do nearly enough of that in this country, and as a consequence, see our elderly as 'the funny smelling people that drive slow in the fast lane'.

[AbbeysMom]

I had a friend who worked in a nursing home who had to be the most sweet woman ever. One of those people who is just full of love. I remember thinking that she really restored my faith in people who pick professions like that, after all the horror stories I've heard.

The instructor for our African Drum Ensemble in college was from Ghana. He would do summer sessions over there but it was too costly for me to go. He and his family and friends from Ghana were incredibly nice and used to cook traditional food for the whole ensemble a few times a year. I remember him saying that in Ghana it would be considered really strange to just sit and watch musicians play, and that little kids in America were the only ones who "got it right" because they naturally sing and dance when they see people playing music.

[Smplyme89]

Flroida is the worst! DW?? I especialy love the little old lady who drives slow as molasses in the rain all the while slamming on her breaks every couple of feet Oh the joys!

[AbbeysMom]

This is not meant to be a knock on anyone, but IMO, there are very selfish attitudes when it comes to family. A lot of people are concerned with having relationships with their spouses/children and don't realize just how important it is for their kids to know their extended family.

When DH was visiting my cousin in Toulouse, France, he said that it was such a common sight to see entire families out for walks, grandkids holding their grandparents' hands as they stroll down the sidewalk, people getting together for family gatherings on weekends. We don't do nearly enough of that in this country, and as a consequence, see our elderly as 'the funny smelling people that drive slow in the fast lane'.

I completely agree with this. And honestly I think this country suffers from a wealth-driven diaspora, where As they grow up people are expected to move away from family for better jobs and more income, but end up breaking family bonds in the process.

[Ky'sMom]

Erin, I think you're crazy for a lot of reasons. And I say that admiringly.

It is probably extra crazy that I see that as a compliment

I took cabs in Hawaii usually only at night for safety and even then not always because I didn't want to pay. It was always nice out so I could walk anywhere but there are a lot of crazies in Hawaii so my friends and coworkers would get very upset with me for walking at night.

And hells yes I took that cab whenever possible. He'd even preach during the ride and I'd just stare out the window and not respond. Then when he pulled up he's say, "And this ride is on me if you will take and read this literature." Luckily he did not ever quiz me.

LOL!! I would have been in trouble plenty of times when people quiz me about religious conversations if they didn't jar my memory by stating some story or passage in the Bible. I've read it a few time, probably will again during my Christmas vacation just to brush up so if people try to tell me what the Bible says I can tell them what it "actually" says.

And it's definitely not crazy to retire some place where your $$$ will go far. My parents could never have afforded to retire here. Their SS and pension would be enough to put a roof over their head and eat Ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They retired to India - best move EVAH! They don't know what to do with their money, and they take several vacations inside India yearly, and one trip abroad every other year (usually here, to visit the grandkids).

I met a guy when I worked for a bank that was retiring in India. He had already set up housing and such and moved there because of how inexpensive it was and because of the respect that the elderly were cared for. His wife had some sort of ailment that was costing him a ton of money and ciphoning their SS so he was setting up a direct deposit and making sure we could get everything set up so he would have access to all his funds before leaving the country.

He inspired me and painted a beautiful picture of India, plus I have always wanted to go there.

My aunt was a communist/freedom fighter (depending on your side) in Mozambique in the 70's. She almost got blown up by a letter bomb when her mentor/boss opened a letter. Her boss was killed instantly. My aunt was injured and in the hospital she learned she was pregnant and so stopped being actively involved in the day to day fighting. She had her baby, got married to the much younger man show was the father (later divorced), moved to The Hague and worked with the UN's International Court of Justice. Her daughter recently moved back to Mozambique where her father still lives - she's a chip off the old block, activist very left politically, etc.

WOW, you aunt was kicka$$!!!

This is not meant to be a knock on anyone, but IMO, there are very selfish attitudes when it comes to family. A lot of people are concerned with having relationships with their spouses/children and don't realize just how important it is for their kids to know their extended family.

When DH was visiting my cousin in Toulouse, France, he said that it was such a common sight to see entire families out for walks, grandkids holding their grandparents' hands as they stroll down the sidewalk, people getting together for family gatherings on weekends. We don't do nearly enough of that in this country, and as a consequence, see our elderly as 'the funny smelling people that drive slow in the fast lane'.

I agree with you. I so deplore how we treat our elderly family members and even our families in general here. I know it didn't use to be this way here in America. I wonder what changed. It seems this attitude has just come on all of the sudden in the mid 20th century.

I have already started planning on having my parents live with me when they get older if they want to. I will even move back home to my hometown if necessary, like they don't want to leave or something. The only part of our maybe move to Chicago that I like is that we will be closer to DH's mom and even to my mom since my hometown is only a 4 hour drive from Chicago. My MIL will be 70 next year and I want to make sure we are there for her if she needs help with anything. I also want to make sure our kids have a good relationship with all their grandparents. Luckily both our parents and families aren't all that dysfunctional (not anymore anyway!) so I know it will benefit the kids to spend as much time with their grandparents as they can so we can all do things together.

Erin

[Smplyme89]

This is not meant to be a knock on anyone, but IMO, there are very selfish attitudes when it comes to family. A lot of people are concerned with having relationships with their spouses/children and don't realize just how important it is for their kids to know their extended family.

When DH was visiting my cousin in Toulouse, France, he said that it was such a common sight to see entire families out for walks, grandkids holding their grandparents' hands as they stroll down the sidewalk, people getting together for family gatherings on weekends. We don't do nearly enough of that in this country, and as a consequence, see our elderly as 'the funny smelling people that drive slow in the fast lane'.

That is so true. I have too often seen the old grandmother who is being taken advantage by her "caregiver" because her family doesn't give a sh*t enough to come visit her at.all

[Suja]

LOL!! I would have been in trouble plenty of times when people quiz me about religious conversations if they didn't jar my memory by stating some story or passage in the Bible. I've read it a few time, probably will again during my Christmas vacation just to brush up so if people try to tell me what the Bible says I can tell them what it "actually" says.

It shocks the hell out of people when I can discuss The Bible with them reasonably intelligently. And then it gets even better 'cause I tell them that we studied it in our literature class

He inspired me and painted a beautiful picture of India, plus I have always wanted to go there.

If you (that's any of my fellow heathens) want to go to Kerala and need help with planning or anything, let me know. My parents know a lot about what places and activities are good/pleasant.

I agree with you. I so deplore how we treat our elderly family members and even our families in general here. I know it didn't use to be this way here in America. I wonder what changed. It seems this attitude has just come on all of the sudden in the mid 20th century.

I see a lot of 'my MIL wants to spend all this time with my baby and is intruding on our time together' stuff here ALL the time, and frankly, it puzzles me. As far as I'm concerned, it's a GOOD thing for your child to have caring people in their lives. The more, the better. As long as there is no toxicity involved, what's a little inconvenience?

Although I find that Indian families in general are a little too into each other's business, the one part I like about our culture is just how much a child in the family means to everyone. One of my aunts is planning an overnight (by train) trip just to come and visit us when we go to India and meet my daughter. How awesome is that? Part of the reason we're going now is because my grandma isn't getting any younger, and I want her to meet and get to know Mira, at least a little bit. She's SO looking forward to it, and I know that it keeps her healthy and happy.

I have already started planning on having my parents live with me when they get older if they want to. I will even move back home to my hometown if necessary, like they don't want to leave or something.

That's pretty awesome! And it's more awesome that your DH is supportive of this. I know my parents wouldn't move back here, not even for my kids. I definitely don't want to move back to India, not until Mira is done with her education, so we'll travel back and forth about as often as is practical.

[Bridget]

I agree! I have told my parents several times that they will never end up in a nursing home. In fact, when I first moved to Hawaii I called them at one point and told them we were stayin in a hostel and hadn't found a place to live yet. My dad called me back a few minutes later and said they were paying for a week at a hotel for us. We protested up and down but they were nervous for us staying in a hostel so they insisted. I said, "You guys are SO never going to an nursing home!" and my mom used to bring it up all the time to remind me that that week in the hotel bought her a spot in my house when she was old and crochety.

Ah, I miss her.

[AbbeysMom]

My MIL announced that she would be staying in her hometown when she "gets old". I was a little saddened, since we will most likely never live there. She must have noticed because she offered to winter with us. I'll take it, but I'd really rather Abbey see her Grandma as much as possible.