I do hope I can get to the place where I can be introspective and look back and see where this period led to something good.
I do hope I can get to the place where I can be introspective and look back and see where this period led to something good.
I do think I'm a good driver. Parallel parking doesn't bother me in the least...even if it's a vehicle I'm not familiar with. Well, in that sense I am more nervous than if it's my own, but I can always do it and I can't remember the last time when I didn't get it in my first attempt.
Merging and high speeds no longer bother me either. I remember the first time we drove near NYC/NJ. omg-I was literally in tears from the fear/anxiety of it all. Now, I'm like "get the fluck outta my way arsehole!" and I just change lanes.
I am like that too and I once was pretty anxious driving here in Atlanta. We have horrible traffic and crazy drivers from everywhere. Most native Atlantans I know don't drive.
I also am good at parking. I love parallel parking. I do that better than parking in a parking spot if you can believe it. Yeah....I'm weird like that.
I actually made DH back me out of the garage when his mom was here and parked in the driveway...fully on the other side. I'm not very great at backing up straight.
On the flip side, I am a pretty good driver and cautious. Which works in my city when others are like me. Though I draw the light at the dude at the green light motioning ME to go....he was going straight and I was turning left. My sister and I couldn't believe that one and I refused to move until he went....my luck would be to listen to him and than he goes and I hit him and it would be my fault as I was turning left at the green light.
I'm seeing her this weekend for the parentals' anniversary. I have these nagging thoughts that I should have had it out with her back then, and called her on a whole bunch of scheiße I could've back when it was more relevant -- like the fact that I know she told an elaborate lie about a friend being in from out of town the weekend before throwing her DH a $14,000 party, so I would do all the party planning legwork and she could cavort with her (blech!) lover while his wife & twins were in Seattle. I didn't want to escalate the fighting back then. But now I just feel like it'd be petty to bring it up now.
I hate that. There has to be a happy medium between being completely dismissive and refusing to engage in a fight, and having an all-out battle royale. Like, you have to make sure you say all the things you really need to say in a timely manner. Clearly, I never came anywhere near the sweet spot.
Speaking of puddle jumping, I dug up this old video of B & his little buddy (the nyah-nyah-er) at the Oakland Zoo on this rainy day when his mom & I literally had the whole place to ourselves. Seriously, we were allowed to enter and then they shut the front gate after only an hour of the zoo being open. It was awesome. Anyway, there's not that much action, but the kids were jumping in puddles, and you can see B's legs are all wet AND his pants are falling down.
Speaking of working from home, we've made more headway into the possibility of me going back to work on another project with the company that let me go back in July. There are some really positive things I'm hoping for, but will share the news with all of you once there's a real decision made, if one does get made.
Jen, is that seriously your budget for a console?!? It's beautiful, but holy Minwax, Batman. At that level of cost, you might actually want to get something custom-made for you. I'm wondering if you could enlist the help of a local woodworker to copy/customize the design for a lower price. That's my frugal side talking.
Did I ever tell you girls how I have this weird love of soup bars? I go to where they have at least 6 different kinds of self-serve soups, and like to make my own concoctions out of them. Today it was mostly vegetable soup, but I threw a matzoh ball in it. Anyway, long story short, I literally ate about a quart of soup, AND drank a liter of water. That was almost 3 hours ago, and I haven't felt like using the restroom since. Am I some sort of camel?
Last edited by demigraf; 10-07-2011 at 04:49 PM.
Oh I forgot one more thing. This is totally silly, but Bridget, ever since you told that story about Kai whacking Mark on the foot with a wooden knife (at least that's how I understood it when I read it), I've started to imagine that's what he's in the middle of doing in your siggy pic. Like he's got the wooden knife over his head, and he's totally about to bring it down on M's foot.
Like I said, super silly. But now I can't seem to shake the imagery.
Oh my GOD Mylah!! I am laughing so hard right now! Kai keeps asking me what's so funny and I think I'm going to sort of tell him and show him the picture.
ETA I just told him and inserted an evil laugh. I didn't bring up the situation with Mark I just said one of my friends thinks it looks like he has a wacking stick and a sneaky little smile.
Last edited by Bridget; 10-07-2011 at 04:51 PM.
And some people would rather go to IKEA and save $1500 by buying a POS that we have to throw out 4 months later, only to end up attaching the flat screen to the wall directly. That would be me.
I think buying a piece of furniture you love and will keep forever is a whole lot better.
*Not in that way.
You're probably right, Molly. I'm pretty out of touch with what big-ticket things cost nowadays. Probably because practically all big-ticket items I own are secondhand. I should send you pics of the furniture Steve has made though. He made me a 101" sewing table in a mission style with black stain, kiln dried oak. It was bee-yu-tiful!
BTW, you totally warned me that you were a terrible driver when B& I went out to TX, but I thought you were alright. Obeyed the rules of the road and all that good stuff. LOL.
Bridge, I'm so glad you thought that was funny.
Last edited by demigraf; 10-07-2011 at 06:06 PM.
Yeah I have been looking at custom but that is bringing me into the 4-5K range which is NOT what I want to spend since I still need to buy the TV.
I would prefer 2000-2500. And the local stores just don't have much in the style I want with the combo of display/hidden storage. But I would check again before buying online of course. Knowing us we will sit on this for at least a few months thinking about it....have to make sure that we really really really love it.
I still need to check out the unfinished furniture store too (but I would have to pay to have finished and probably delivered).
I like Ikea well enough but their style isn't really right for us or the house. And we do keep things forever. Right now we are using our Sauder one got 8.5 years ago....and the main reason for replacing would be that it is for old TVs and I want a bigger flat screen one that wouldn't fit at all.
Our bedroom stuff (dresser, armoire, two nightstands) was around 3300-3500 and it's beautiful solid wood made in WI.....and I still just LOVE it and we have it about 4 years. One of the reasons we built a house was because the ones for sale didn't have the right master for that furniture. LOL Doors or windows in the wrong places or just not enough space.
And yes Kai does look like he's about to whack something!
Okay, here goes. My geeky pre-post confession is that I took notes on posts to respond to. Let's see if I manage to decipher my notes and respond in a way that relates to what was said, or if I give up and skip half of it.
L, your story about Baby S and the puddle is adorable and had me smiling. I wish I could have heard him laughing. And have I mentioned how adorable the nickname "Baby S" is to me? Can't explain - just love "hearing" you say that.
Temperature changes - this week's temperatures were 94 Monday, 89 Tuesday, 84 Wednesday, 68 Thursday, and 68 today. Forecast says 73 tomorrow and back up to 89 by Wednesday. My body doesn't know what to think, but I'm loving being able to wear some different clothes.
Bridget, that's great that your MIL praised your parenting. I'm glad you gave her a chance to revise her thought process in that way.
Antidepressants - ITA about overprescribing. I do wish people got counseling/coping strategies more often than meds. I remember my ex the author used to say that they made him less depressed, but he couldn't FEEL anything when he took them and he needed to feel emotions to write. I wonder if that's why (in my opinion) there aren't as many great musicians, writers, etc as there used to be? Everyone is on meds? Or maybe they got counseling and they just aren't depressed anymore. I swear you need to be depressed to create good art. Sorry, major tangent there. I've been watching X-factor and I keep asking DH, "Where is John Lennon?" Meaning this generation's version, obviously. DH says (which is true) that he wouldn't have been on X-factor anyway. But I just don't feel like I hear that level of creativity anywhere that you heard in the 60's and 70's. Or am I just an old fogey and don't appreciate what the kids are listening to these days? ;)
Even bigger tangent! Sorry.
Bridge, since I'm on the topic of my ex the author, having been in a long term relationship with an author and having hung out with his friends, she likely never did read your letter. I agree it was tacky of the publisher to basically make it an ad for the next book, but with the volume of mail someone as successful as the author of that series must be, particularly with books aimed at children, she would have so much mail that even to respond to a small percentage of it personally would leave her very little writing time. My author acquaintance that I knew from those days has this on his website:
Honestly, as cool as a personal response would be, I'd rather have another book to read any day. (And I'm super flattered, now that I've read that, that he took the time to give me some pointers on my writing when I asked via email - I can only assume he made an exception because we've met in person).I’d like to thank everyone who has been so kind to send me e-mail notes about my books. Getting feedback like that is wonderful, and I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to write me. Knowing that folks are enjoying my work is the sort of thing that keeps me going when the writing gets tough. My goal is to never let you, my readers, down.
It’s because of that goal, however, that I’m declaring a moratorium on answering individual e-mails. I have to choose between disappointing any individual letter writer by not answering a letter, or disappointing readers and editors (and the folks to whom I owe money, like the bank) by not getting my work done. While answering any individual letter might not take that much time all by itself, e-mail has been taking up a larger and larger portion of my time. While I love the feedback, the fact is that the sort of letters that urge me to continue writing are now soaking up the time that I use for writing.
In constructing my web page here I’ve really tried to put up all the things that most folks want when asked to do research via the Internet for school. I think this material should meet 99% of the needs for book reports and the like. I also have the sample interview and, if one wants to do the research, you can find other interviews or chat logs online. I do, from time to time, participate in the alt.fan.wedge newsgroup. The folks there are knowledgable about my Star Wars work, and some of my other books. Leaving questions there for me will work, with your answers probably coming faster from other folks on the group than they will from me.
I apologize for having to pull back from e-mail, but what I really love about writing is, well, writing cool stories. Forced to choose between that and answering e-mails, well there’s really not that much choice. If I change this policy, I’ll certainly post a note about it on the site.
I also meant to respond about sitting - going to the PT has made me very aware of how much time I spend sitting and not moving around. I'm really very sedentary since I don't have children and now I don't get out to the playground with the kids anymore. The PT gave me a good workout today - it was for an hour with 10 minutes on the bike and all kinds of stretches and my muscles were so tight I was embarrassed, because not all of it is from the injury. I was tight beforehand. And I felt better afterwards, although possibly that's because I got to sleep in and didn't go to work until 10:30. But I'm telling myself once I'm released I should start working out. We'll see if I stick to it.
Last edited by Gwenn; 10-07-2011 at 08:05 PM.
I had my second date with DH at the old Miller park for a Brewer game and he said that maybe we should hold hands to not get separated in the crowd....it wasn't that crowded so I think that was just an excuse.
DH was teasing me last night, actually, about my habit of going all the way around the bed to make sure the covers are exactly even before getting into it. He said it was a little obsessive. I told him that was not the case, but that I wanted to make sure I was being as fair as possible to him by not taking more than my share of covers, but still getting as much as I could because I get cold at night with little drafts of air that come in under the covers. He told me that if I removed a few pillows along the outside of the bed, the covers would stretch farther, and then laughed and said I should post that as a first-world problem: "My mound of pillows is so high, my covers don't reach all the way across it."
My official (not second-hand) SECOND posted first-world problem due to this crazy weather. I bought all these groceries while the weather was cold and rainy, and now I have comfort food planned for the upcoming hot and sunny week. I have stews and soups and tonight I made chicken and mushrooms in a cream sauce over rice. Blargh! I hate that.
Mandy, I call Baby S. by that name in posts because I have started being a lot more cautious about using my kids' names on APA, since when I google them so many APA posts turn up. Now that they're older, I have started realizing that someday their friends will be googling them, and my kids may not want their classmates to be able to locate them here and hear their cute and not-so-cute stories or their potty-training adventures or what-have-you. I have a longterm goal of going back and editing my posts to all "DD" and "DS" and turning my blog private. It's different if kids have common names, but mine are not common, and especially if you combine them they are very unique. But I like it, and I have started thinking of him as Baby S. in my thoughts sometimes, too.
I consider myself a pretty good driver. I was talking to my hairdresser about driving my minivan on 4WD only roads on our camping trip in the Mendocino Forest, and how I was getting annoyed at the variable traction control because it was removing power from the wheels that were losing traction, and all the wheels were losing traction because I was going uphill on a steep and bumpy dirt road with huge craters in it and then I kept losing power right when I needed it the most. I also have a lot of driving experience - on the snow, with 4Wd, with rear-wheel drive, off-road, on motorcycles, on various other vehicles, etc. I still hate parking my minivan in The City, but I'm comfortable driving really fast. I've gone up to 150 mph on my bike.
I see people do bad parking jobs all over the place, but I never feel actually inclined to be angry at them. A lot of the time, it's like Bridget's situation, in that you're pushed into parking over the line because another car did it, and then that car left and then you look like the jerk. Or maybe they weren't paying attention, but I try not to judge, because I would rather use the energy to find another parking spot instead of getting angry (yes, I deliberately tell myself this in order to stay peaceful - it's part of my self-improvement campaign).
Speaking of self-improvement, I try to evaluate myself and my responses to life, others, and see what I can try to improve on a regular basis, both to improve my well-being and to improve how I get along in life and with others, like social skills. Like at work, a long time ago I made a conscious effort to try to be a more go-with-the-flow type of person, even though I'm not really like that by nature. If things were being stressful around me, I was going to try to respond calmly. I treated it like a homework assignment or a task, because I'm good at that. I did the same thing with bad drivers. Eventually, I got so ingrained into the pattern of "look at that jerk who just cut me off--wait a minute, chill out, take five deep breaths first and remember that you are still going to get there" that I started seeing a bad driver and then going into relaxation mode without having to talk to myself. It's pretty much only with unrehearsed situations now that I get all angsty.
Anyway, where I was going with this (it was pertinent) was that I try really hard to be honest with myself, to seek feedback from those around me, and to do hard work to better myself on a regular basis - not just for me, but for those around me, and for my happiness, if I'm not happy. However, on a few rare occasions, I will say that it feels like there is just a on/off switch in my brain and everything goes dark and there is no joy at all. I have been able to regain the happiness on a few occasions by determinedly practicing positive thinking, but it seems very obvious that there is just a complete chemical change. It's like my brain needs a reboot. For me, therapy seems like it would be a waste of time, and on those few occasions I have been able to reboot, so to speak, with just a few months of antidepressants and then wean off of them. It's not an instant change, but it makes a difference and gets me back to baseline. I've done that about 3 times in my life.
Oh, oh, oh! I've got a job interview next Friday! I've been at my current job for 13 years. I'm a little nervous.
L, I like how you say you're always working on yourself. I probably have much further to go than you do, but I have always had that attitude as well. I figure that no one is perfect and we all have room for improvement. The whole "go with the flow" thing is something else I really strive for too.
I don't really get as witchy as I described when I'm driving...it's more that I'm actually assertive when I need to be and I don't get anxious about that. If I need to change lanes, I will. But if someone cuts me off, I don't let that make me angry. I can't remember ever feeling "road rage" myself. In driving, I'm really good at going with the flow.
I think the flip side is I may have gotten too lax with my older teens. Jesi has gotten in more trouble at school and I'm wondering if I haven't been severe enough with her. I know when I was her age I was doing all that plus also pregnant with Bobbie and living on my own in an apartment with Rich, so in comparison with that I consider her a 'good girl'. But is she? Should I be stricter? I really don't know the answer to that.
Yes-congrats on the interview!! Sorry I forgot to add that myself.
And I totally think antidepressants are necessary. I'm not against taking them myself. I think the difference between us and many in society is we know that we also need to work on ourselves in order to fully get through it. Maybe I'm wrong, but based on some conversations I've had, it seems like people expect the pills to simply make things better for them.
Except in NY you're financially responsible for them till they're 21. She can legally move out and get services, and the state would sue me & her father for child support. It's totally jacked up, but that's how it is.
I hate feeling like I have to defend myself. I came back to APA thinking that when we were TTC I could get some support and be joyful about the experience, since APA was such a big part of my pregnancy with Abbey. but in the end I think I might not belong here, outside of the Secular Confessions thread, because you ladies are awesome.
Chrissy, I sure it's cold comfort at this point in time but everyone I know who loves life had a terrible time being a teenager...
Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog
Molly, I have a few people I really like and appreciate outside of here, and I enjoy some of the knowledge I gain and the discussions I see elsewhere on APA, but I have to say I feel my group of friends is in here. Even through my past pregnancy, even as I went through common interests and symptoms and had other things to talk about with other groups (as you do with TTC, or as I do with multiples, or as others do with military, etc.) it seems like the most I talk about and have in common with is here. It's a feedback cycle too, because the more we share the closer we feel.
And I'm sorry you feel like you have to defend yourself. You shouldn't have to, but you will always have people who don't understand or will not agree.
Last edited by 3andMe; 10-07-2011 at 11:37 PM.