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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #23461
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    I think 'relax' and 'mom' just aren't cohesive.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #23462

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I think 'relax' and 'mom' just aren't cohesive.
    So true.
    My friends that work full time will say to me, "I don't know how you do it staying with your kids all day."
    I say to them I don't know how they do it! I can't imagine waking my kids up and getting them dressed to leave and then coming home late and fixing dinner....

  3. #23463
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    I have it easy-the girls get themselves up and ready now and Rich takes Conner before I get up. I wake up when Rich is dressing Conner and we exchange our "i love yous" and "have a great day!"

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #23464
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I don't have any time to myself. Working three days a week, I run errands with either 3 kids or 1 kid. I save most of my chores for the days the twins are in school and I only have 1 kid. I feel like baby S. gets the short end of the stick because my days with him I'm just running errands and cleaning, but then I remember when my mom is with him she just spends her time devoted to him, so at least someone is giving him complete attention. Just not me. I haven't had a bath in 5 years. A shower lasting longer than 3 minutes? Only when all three kids are in there with me. A night longer than 6 hours of interrupted sleep? I can't remember. I do read, though, when I brush my teeth at night.

    Speaking of, better go to bed. It's going to be a long day tomorrow.


  5. #23465

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    Sorry to veer completely off topic, but I have a weird WWYD for you all:

    You know how there has been a listeria outbreak connected to cantaloupe? Well, we bought and ate some of the cantaloupe that was recalled, about a week and a half ago. Oops. I figured that we were all in the clear because it's been a week and no symptoms, but then i read this fromt he Mayo clinic website ($%#^&*@ dr. google):

    "Symptoms may begin a few days after you've eaten contaminated food, but it may take as long as two months before the first signs and symptoms of infection begin."

    and then this:
    "During pregnancy, a listeria infection is likely to cause only mild signs and symptoms in the mother. The consequences for the baby, however, may be devastating. The baby may die unexpectedly before birth or experience a life-threatening infection within the first few days after birth."

    ??!!!

    So here's the WWYD: We are TTC right now, and coming up this week is my window for ovulation... would you all skip it this month and start TTC next month? Or is that just being overly cautious?



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  6. #23466

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    Honestly, Molly? And I hate to see this because I can't wait for you to be pregnant again but I think i'd wait. It's not even that the risk is so great but just fact that if you do become pregnant and get sick, the worry would just eat you up. I know it would me.

  7. #23467
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    Oh Molly-I'd be freaked too. I have to say, I tend to agree with Bridget but I know how difficult that would actually be. ((hugs))

    ps-don't ever worry about changing the topic. We all do it and really, this is an important thing. I do hope you all make it without any symptoms.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #23468
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    Molly I would also put TTC on hold. Chances are your fine and you don't have it, I'm just thinking from a personal perspective that if I were to get pregnant and by some crazy chance did have listeria than I know that the guilt would eat me up

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  9. #23469
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I had no idea listeria would take that long to show up, but if that is so, I would totally wait to ttc. One month vs. a chance of listeria (no matter how remote) in a baby? Totally waiting.


  10. #23470

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    You're all probably right. I'm going to call my doctor and get an opinion, because there might be a blood test they can do? IDK though. Wah.

    It really wouldn't be so difficult putting it off one month if I hadn't been putting it off for the last 10 months. DH really wants to TTC like yesterday and I hate to disappoint him because of my dumb fears, yet again.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  11. #23471
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    Your fears aren't dumb

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #23472
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Honestly, Molly? And I hate to see this because I can't wait for you to be pregnant again but I think i'd wait. It's not even that the risk is so great but just fact that if you do become pregnant and get sick, the worry would just eat you up. I know it would me.

    I agree with this. One more month isn't too long to wait. Listeria is a nasty nasty thing for pg and better to not take that risk.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  13. #23473
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    I would wait, too, Molly. You just can't be too careful with things like that!

    On the opposite end of that spectrum, I am sitting in the doctor's office waiting for dh. He's having a vasectomy today....it feels really weird to have gotten to this point in our lives already.

  14. #23474
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    Kudos to your dh for doing it Ash! Rich & I talked about it before I got the Mirena...well, really I talked about it and he would sit there quietly (clear indication he wasn't on the same page). After I got the IUD he said he didn't think he'd ever do the vasectomy.

    Just one more thing to feel annoyed with him about--over the years I've been poked, prodded and been through a lot of pain in that regard (not to mention having the kids!) but he couldn't do one simple little procedure.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #23475
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    Good for your DH Ashley!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #23476

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    Kuddos to your DH Ashley! My DH would never get a vasectomy because I "might get hit by a bus" and he may "meet some new chick and want a new set of kids" LOL! He cracks me up even though he is always telling me I better not die and leave him with the kids because he doesn't know what he would do.

    I would also put off TTC for a month. I would be afraid of the listeria as I have heard horrible things regarding listeria and pregnancy. I hope they have a test for it to see if you are affected.

    So happy you had a great visit with your MIL Bridget. I always get through my own mom's and my MILs visits by thinking how we rarely see them so I don't let them bother me too much. MILs cleaning constantly though does sometime bother me but I usually don't say anything. My mom is pretty cool and I love it when she visits, we always have a good time. Especially since I conviced her to quit arguing with DH. Like I have said before, DH loves to argue. He starts arguments, primarily with my family members and friends so I have to ask them not to partake in his discussions so as not to make their visits uncomfortable. I even do this in front of DH in an attempt to embarrass him so that he will stop doing it so often. He currently only does it with my aunt who lives here in Atlanta and not as much as he used to so I do think he is getting better in this regard.

    On the housework front, I do not clean at all on weekends except kitchen maintenance. I take both days for extreme relaxation and I do take a vacation by myself at least twice a year. Most of the time I'll just stay in a local hotel and read or watch TV until I get bored and go home. Sometimes I go to all the nerdy places I want to go to. But I refuse to be used all the time anymore. I don't like to always feel like I have to do everything. Getting the opportunity to get bored helps me out. Sunday is my day for myself. Saturday is a family day. We do Robotics on Saturdays and usually will do something at a park or zoo. Last week we went to a driving range to hit golf balls.

    Erin

  17. #23477
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    Erin, your schedule sounds heavenly in theory. Saturdays for family, Sunday for me...I just don't know how you do it throughout the week.

    I can relate to not being the only one to 'do it all' because I have those feelings as well...even though the kids (girls) each do 3 chores a day and Rich does help out...I still feel like I'm carrying the lion's share and the last thing I want to do when I get home is clean the house.

    Although, I am seriously thinking to myself that if we could have more laid back weekends, it might be worth it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #23478
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    We most often clean on weekends too. But usually every other weekend and just do touch up stuff during the rest of the time...kitchen is daily of course but not full on wipe out frig/polish the stainless steel appliances type things.
    Sometimes DH cleans while I'm at work too. As it is he does dusting and bathrooms (I do the tub). Sometimes I vaccum and sometimes he does. I do kitchen (he will empty and fill dishwasher whenever it needs it too). I do all laundry because well I'm picky about that. I do the cooking mostly and grocery shopping but I like cooking. He does yardwork except my veggie garden. He does the garbage and recycling.
    and he picks up after me, straightening up, collecting the water bottles I tend to leave around the house....he complains and nags but does it. LOL

    I think that it's pretty good...we both work and we both do household chores.

    I so used to think that I would be a SAHM and homeschool. Good thing I liked school and did that and eventually got over my aversion (I seriously did NOT want to get a real full-time job) to working and got a job. Or I would have been awfully bored the past 8 years of marriage! And surprise surprise I actually like working quite a bit. I like the learning and thinking I have to do everyday and being at my desks and helping people. No way would I stay home now (though I wish that I had summers off like you do Gwen! ....working in a hospital I don't even get paid holidays and have to use PTO for that if I want off).

    Me time can be overrated. I have WAY too much me time and cannot wait to have much less of it. I basically come home from work and make dinner, watch TV, read, take a long bath or shower, talk on the phone and eventually go to bed. Oh and snuggle Cosmo and play with her.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #23479

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    I had a super stressful job before I stayed at home, so now I tell everyone I'm not a SAHM, I'm retired. I seriously feel like that too. I guess it helps that I have an "easy" kiddo who's fun to be around. <3

    I never thought I would be a SAHM, it was kind of expected in my family to go to college and grad school and generally aim high with your career aspirations. I told my mom I wanted to be a teacher after I finished undergrad and she basically told me that job was beneath me. That's the main reason I went back to school and became a professor. As it is I will most likely go back to school to be a teacher (kindergarten or first grade) after our last kiddo starts school, or if pigs fly and I can convince my DH it would be for the best, I will homeschool.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  20. #23480
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    Geez, a teacher being "beneath you". My BFF's DH's family is like that....all doctors and lawyers....except him who's "only" a MBA and has business job.

    I was expected to go to college also....but after that they didn't know. I was the first in both sides of my family to go to college and graduate.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  21. #23481
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Geez, a teacher being "beneath you". My BFF's DH's family is like that....all doctors and lawyers....except him who's "only" a MBA and has business job.

    I was expected to go to college also....but after that they didn't know. I was the first in both sides of my family to go to college and graduate.
    Me too. Talk about pressure

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  22. #23482

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    Molly you made me think of a great story when you mentioned convincing your dh to go for homeschooling. I recently have met a few homeschooling families in my town and one of them has me care for her 3 boys so that she can work twice a week. She told me that she was trying to convince her husband when the boys were really young and they happened to go visit her homeschooling cousin's family who had horses. When they got there they were told that one of the beloved horses had died suddenly and they were told by the vet that it was unexplained. The children, on their own, went to the library and used the internet to gather info and did an autopsy on their horse! They figured out the stomach had turned inside out or something like that. She said on the way home her husband was so impressed by how self directed the children were to teach themselves that and was all for homeschooling from that point on.

  23. #23483
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    Thanks, y'all. DH is a good guy; he's laid up on the couch now with some frozen peas comforting his poorly boy parts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I was the first in both sides of my family to go to college and graduate.
    Me, too! I'll never forget that look of pride in my daddy's eyes when I got my college diploma! They're so happy that I'm getting back in to teaching; I think they both love to tell people that one of their kids moved on up out of the 'hood!

  24. #23484

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Erin, your schedule sounds heavenly in theory. Saturdays for family, Sunday for me...I just don't know how you do it throughout the week.
    I am beat come Friday!!! Right now my eyes are trying to close. I have a very tight schedule and I do the majority of our household chores by myself, though I am going to start delegating more. Mon - Fri I vacuum 3 times a week, mop floors (kitchen, bath, hallway) once, wash dishes twice a week (by hand since the dishwasher keeps breaking. DH washes them 3 times a week), clean my bathroom twice a week, tend to my plants (both inside and outside) once per week (including watering/fertilizing/weeding), dust once a week (including window washing, I wet dust and also dust blinds), and I do laundry (right now only me and Elle, I used to do everyone but stopped last month because it was too much). I also take the kids to school and pick them up every day. I cook at least 4 times Mon-Fri and I grocery shop and do all our finances. I move like a madwoman and look forward to weekends and if someone b! tches to me about what I'm not doing or if a visitor says that a room is messy on Saturday or Sunday, insinuating that I should clean it, I ignore them or roll my eyes at them LOL! All of that doesn't include the kid's schedules with driving around either and of course other random things come up that no one (i.e. DH) knows how to handle that I do so I feel I deserve a day.

    I also go work out at the gym Mon-Fri for 45 minutes. I clean VERY fast so that I can fit in my gym time and try to get to bed by 10:30 pm.

    Erin

  25. #23485

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    I suck at housekeeping. I really really try but I just suck. I have no organization.
    Dbf had the nerve to act annoyed cleaning up the house this morning when I came upstairs to grab the milk and made some comment about how now that his mom is gone the house is going to be a wreck again. I told him he is welcome to pack his bags and go live with him mom.

  26. #23486
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I am beat come Friday!!! Right now my eyes are trying to close. I have a very tight schedule and I do the majority of our household chores by myself, though I am going to start delegating more. Mon - Fri I vacuum 3 times a week, mop floors (kitchen, bath, hallway) once, wash dishes twice a week (by hand since the dishwasher keeps breaking. DH washes them 3 times a week), clean my bathroom twice a week, tend to my plants (both inside and outside) once per week (including watering/fertilizing/weeding), dust once a week (including window washing, I wet dust and also dust blinds), and I do laundry (right now only me and Elle, I used to do everyone but stopped last month because it was too much). I also take the kids to school and pick them up every day. I cook at least 4 times Mon-Fri and I grocery shop and do all our finances. I move like a madwoman and look forward to weekends and if someone b! tches to me about what I'm not doing or if a visitor says that a room is messy on Saturday or Sunday, insinuating that I should clean it, I ignore them or roll my eyes at them LOL! All of that doesn't include the kid's schedules with driving around either and of course other random things come up that no one (i.e. DH) knows how to handle that I do so I feel I deserve a day.

    I also go work out at the gym Mon-Fri for 45 minutes. I clean VERY fast so that I can fit in my gym time and try to get to bed by 10:30 pm.

    Erin
    I'm exhausted just reading that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    I suck at housekeeping. I really really try but I just suck. I have no organization.
    Dbf had the nerve to act annoyed cleaning up the house this morning when I came upstairs to grab the milk and made some comment about how now that his mom is gone the house is going to be a wreck again. I told him he is welcome to pack his bags and go live with him mom.
    He could also do what his mom did while she was there too.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #23487
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    OMG Erin, I'm also tired just reading that! THAT is a LOT of cleaning!

    Bridget, if he thinks the house will be a wreck, what stops HIM from taking over. Next time he's complaining about your housekeeping skills, ask him what's the matter, does he have two broken arms? I mean seriously, I do not consider you a SAHM....you are a working home and just happen to work at home. That means he should be doing equal amounts of housework. And I always say if it's not to his standard, he should do it himself. Uggg.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  28. #23488
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    So I'm checking in journals and I like to scan table of contents and such....and came across something interesting.....I never knew this but seems that sometimes they do fecal transplants! This particular instance they were talking about as treatment to recurrent c. difficile infections. See, you learn something everyday!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  29. #23489

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    I suck at housekeeping too, and DH definitely does more than his share. I thought making a schedule would help--you know, clean the kitchen on Monday, sweep and mop on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday, etc. But it doesn't. I just look at something and see maybe some clutter but not know what to do with it. DH comes home and calls it filthy. He's in hoarders' homes and generally dirty people's homes every day so IDK how he can come home to a normal house and call it filthy, but he does. I just look at it and think it looks like people live here.

  30. #23490
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    I'm exhausted reading that list, too.

    I completely suck at housekeeping, too. I leave it all to DH and tell myself it's okay because I work full time and he is at home all day. But he doesn't keep after it much, either, and I can't bring myself to complain about it because I don't do any of it, so our house just gets dirty until DH feels motivated to clean it. I feel guilty about it, but honestly, I don't think I should be guilty. Except when I make him do it and I'm home in the summer. Then I should be guilty.

    ETA: But I still bring in a paycheck.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 09-29-2011 at 07:00 PM.
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