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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #23431

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    That's cool that Savana calls out "correctable offenses" like that. The hidden benefit of that is that people expect kids to be a little brash and filterless, so it's a little less harsh coming from someone so young, and yet the message makes it to the intended target. Quite brilliant actually. Maybe I should consider making Bodhi my spokesperson against littering. LOL.

    Speaking of sewing, I'll share a recent finished project, since you guys are the only ones I feel like sharing with. I took this skirt that had a hole in it:



    And made this top, which I'm modeling here over my pajamas:



    I'm happy to say that my "fashionable" new job hasn't inspired me to spend oodles of money, but instead put me to work in the sewing room. I'm actually pulling out shelved projects and finishing them off. I'm almost done turning an 80s sweater into a pencil skirt too.

  2. #23432

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    dp

  3. #23433

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    Lovely transformation of the skirt M! <3
    Also like your new leaf-face applique, but is it hard to drive while wearing it?

    ---
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who speaks up to other kids when their parents are MIA. I do it because I want Abbey to see that we use words to change actions as well.

    And Erin, the way you describe talking to other kids is exactly why I'm happy to let other people help me parent if they do it respectfully. Another mom reinforcing concepts like taking turns and sharing goes miles further than just me repeating myself.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  4. #23434

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    I made kind of a horrifying realization because of a post elsewhere on APA. A momma said it cost $1700 for daycare each month for her two kiddos (one was a baby). I figured out that at our tax bracket, that would mean I would have to make about $3,300 a month to break even after taxes and social security. Add in the cost of gas and other work related expenses and I would need to make anywhere from $45K to $50K a year to break even. TO BREAK EVEN.

    I love being a SAHM, so it's not an issue for me, but I just can't believe how much it costs to work. It has to hurt so much for moms who are essentially taking home $1 or $2 an hour for their time at work.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  5. #23435
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    I saw that post - I pay $2300/month for part-time between preschool and my mom watching the kids up to three days a week, and didn't increase it when S. was born (sorry, Mom!). I looked at the price for full-time Montessori in the neighborhood for all three of my kids, and it would be $75,000 per year. I'm lucky to have my mom here. I've been freaking out a lot thinking about kindergarten next year, wondering how I'm going to manage that. Getting the kids to school and home five days a week (my mom doesn't drive them and I go to work too early to take them), so I might have to hire someone to come just for that. And my mom probably won't stay here forever. I've heard talk about friends being able to take kids to school, bu nobody has room for three extra seats in a car, and when dh is traveling nobody is going to come hang out at 5 AM after I leave.

    Hence the resume-polishing.


  6. #23436
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    Molly, that's why I currently don't work, too. When we looked at the figures, it made a whole lot more sense to stay home! (Plus, I love it and feel greatful to have the opportunity to be with my boys as much as possible!)

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    Oh and Myles, that is an awesome top! Way to go, dude!

  8. #23438
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    Mylah, I forgot to mention that I love the skirt transformation, too. You look oddly different, though. Did you get a hair cut? Lose weight?

    I've been having fantasies about making DS a really fancy Halloween costume with pumpkin pants and puffed sleeves to go with DD's premade princess dress and hoop skirt. And then I think who am I kidding, since I barely have time to do my Must-Dos?


  9. #23439
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    yeah there is NO way I could afford daycare for two kids. I could just barely afford daycare for one. it's why I'm happy that DH works nights and I'm on days because we are going to try to get away without using daycare and maybe just do part-time preschool. and me staying at home is definitely not an option.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  10. #23440
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    Love the top Myles! You're also very crafty and talented!!

    I'm glad I have my mom. I currently pay her more than what I'd pay if Conner were in a regular daycare, but it's the same as what I paid her when he was a newborn, and at that time it was vastly under the 'going rate' of daycare for a NB. So I figure I owe her

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #23441

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    Hate to say it, but if one of us is going to stop working because the person's income doesn't do enough to offset the cost of daycare, it'll be DH and not me.

    If we have one more as planned, I'll probably stay home a couple of years again and then back I'll go. Our routine works now, with DH pretty much part-timing it and working from home. I wonder if we'll be able to fall back into this routine when it's time for me to go back to work (after it's time for me to stay at home again).

    Thanks for the skirt/shirt compliments, all. The Internet is a wondermus thing for project ideas and instructions.

  12. #23442

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    Oh, and yes, the leaf face is a chore to scrub off at night. I'm so flattered y'all noticed.
    Last edited by demigraf; 09-27-2011 at 06:46 PM.

  13. #23443
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    I was very blessed that a friend of the family is a SAHM and offered to watch Nolan for us. She only charges us $15/day and my mom watches him one day for me. So $60/week can't beat that! When I was call around while I was pg the average cost was between $170-$180/week. I do NOT make that kind of money. I wish I could've stayed home, but it wasn't in the cards.

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  14. #23444

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    I pay only $400 a month for Elle to go to daycare and I could find cheaper but I'm not going to delve into that realm for her. I do feel I should put her in a preschool though and she has asked to go to a new school and I can afford to pay around $700 a month for preschool but I would rather not. I am just going to increase our school activities at home.

    I'm happy we live in an area where daycare is not too expensive, though if you spoke to some people who live here they will tell you different. They just aren't willing to look in certain areas. There are some preschools here that are $400-$1000 per week for half days 3 times per week and people clamor to get into those schools. I have never understood the need for any of that though, plus we do a lot of teaching at home and my kids are extra smart because of my greate genes so don't need fancy preschools .

    I don't want to be a SAHM though I do wish I had the time to clean like I used to. I figure though I will just take DH's "allowance" of $200 a month soon if he doesn't step up more and use it to hire someone to clean for me a couple times a month.

    But I did have criteria about how much I had to make before going back to work, after taxes and after travel and daycare. I need to bring home at least $1600 a month for it to be worth my while and I would not have taken anything less than that since we can live off of DH's income and I am not going to work for pennies if I don't have to.

    Erin

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    There's nothing wrong with wanting to make sure working is worth it.

    I was able to stay home when Bobbie and Jessica were little, but I hated it. In theory, I'd love to be able to stay home, bake and sew...but when it was a reality it wasn't as peachy as my dreams would lead me to believe it was. Sometimes I do have those same thoughts about how it would be nice to be home with Conner, but I remember how it really was when I was home with the older girls and I quickly change my mind. I'm just not cut out for it. Nor teaching or daycare. I love kids-and I do good with mine and their friends-but I cannot do it 24/7. I need to be able to be me sometimes. I'm more mentally healthy that way.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  16. #23446
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    I think working 3 days a week is just about perfect for me. It's a great balance of home and work. I don't get too tired of either, don't get too involved with the politics at work, and whenever I get too worn out at home I always get a break by going to work.


  17. #23447

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    I'm the same way, Chrissy. I was home with JoJo for 11 months and by the end of it I was getting a little cuckoo. I have her in all day daycare three days a week and it costs about $500 a month. I am so glad that we can afford it. And the daycare is really great - all the teachers are wonderful. The way I see it, they are trained professionals while I am strictly an amateur. I can love JoJo but I wouldn't have done even half the cool things they have done with her since she started.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  18. #23448
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlwonder View Post
    I'm the same way, Chrissy. I was home with JoJo for 11 months and by the end of it I was getting a little cuckoo. I have her in all day daycare three days a week and it costs about $500 a month. I am so glad that we can afford it. And the daycare is really great - all the teachers are wonderful. The way I see it, they are trained professionals while I am strictly an amateur. I can love JoJo but I wouldn't have done even half the cool things they have done with her since she started.

    That sounds like what I'm hoping we can do. A lot depends on how well DH does during the day with the child. I just have a feeling that once baby is older and doesn't nap so much (and DH is one of those who can fall asleep easily) during the day, he's going to want some days to get some sleep...he works 3rd shift. And I like the idea of activities and such and little kids to play with at a daycare center.

    We will have to see how it goes. DH has basically zero kid experience and who knows, he might suprise me and end up really loving it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #23449

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    In theory, I want to say I loved being a SAHM, but I have to admit I feel more myself as a working mom. I just wish I had a little more time at home now. (Working 40 hrs with telecommute option is fine for me, because I tend to do maybe 10-15 hrs of actual work all week whether at home or in office). I still want to be a SAHM and spend as much time with B as possible. But I felt totally out-of-sorts the whole ~2 yrs I did stay home with him, and always felt like I needed to find a routine that worked. Never quite got it right, got into the groove of it, and that was frustrating to me. So a mad shout out to SAHMs who are good at it. I would love to be one of them.
    Last edited by demigraf; 09-28-2011 at 01:20 PM.

  20. #23450
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    When I left work after having Travis, I had 10 months off and then went back to 3 days a week. After having Cash, I am now going on my second year of maternity leave with him. Travis goes to school 2 1/2 days per week and I do 3 half days at the local elementary school as a volunteer teaching assistant. We have a little routine and I like how everything is going right now. We are living off one income and have made quite a big change to our lifestyle, but I know it's only temporary, so that makes it easier to deal with. I plan on going back to work full-time next year when Cash is 2 and Travis is 4 1/2. I enjoy working and do identify a big part of myself through work, but I have to say that being a SAHM has been awesome. (But I have never really connected with any other SAHM's as they all seem so different to me!)

  21. #23451

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    I do miss adult time but one thing I know for sure is that I am more "me" with my kids than I ever have been in my life. I loved being single and childless but I was always a little lost. I feel like my whole life so far was leading up to these little people and I am finally home. I feel very, very lucky that I get to be home with them and also a little excited at starting a new venture sometime later when they are grown like a little breakfast joint, or something like that. I hope I get to stay with them and homeschool them for as long as it's working for all of us. I finally feel like I'm really good at something that matters. Turns out that being the life of the party didn't really matter all that much. I was good at that.

    I am patting myself on the back right now. I have never had a visit with mil that went so smoothly. I got through the entire visit with no one argument with her and everything was pleasant. 11 days! I know she really, really enjoyed herself and I do not have any regrets like I have in the past, wishing I'd just been more easygoing. I'm glad I swallowed a lot of the things I wanted to say. I only spoke up once when for the 4th night in a row she wanted to watch a movie with the kids and I said that was just too much tv for them. I later apologized and said she should do what she likes with them since she only sees them once or twice a year.
    I promised myself I wouldn't take offense to anything she said and i would just go with the flow. And I did it!!
    Last edited by Bridget; 09-28-2011 at 02:02 PM.

  22. #23452
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    Here you go, Bridget! Good for you! I'm so glad you are happy with how the visit turned out.


  23. #23453
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    Aw, L! Your siggy pic is sooo cute! Your kids are so photogenic!

    That's brilliant about your MIL's visit, Bridget!

  24. #23454

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Here you go, Bridget! Good for you! I'm so glad you are happy with how the visit turned out.
    Nyah nyah -- I snuck in a high-five to L when she wasn't looking.

    WTG, Bridget!

  25. #23455
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    Bridget-you're just awesome all the way around and I'm so glad your visit with your mil went so well!

    I envy you for being so great at sahmothering. It's something I'd love to be able to do. And you go beyond and provide care for others as well. It really does take a special sort of person to do that, and you have it!

    Just in case you missed my FB brag, I got to meet Midge today She's as sweet and cute in person as she appears online.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #23456

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    I saw that Chrissy! That's so cool

    Bridget, I'm so glad it went well. And ditto on what Chrissy said about being a sahm, it's not for everyone and you do it and care for other children and do everything else too. It blows my mind

  27. #23457
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    Great job, Bridget!

    I wanted to be a SAHM for most of my life, until recently. Now I have my job that (I know this is corny) really feels like a "calling" to me, I can't imagine not doing it at least some of the time. 3 days a week at work, like L is doing, would be ideal I think but, like Bridget, I feel like I finally found something I'm good at where I can make a difference. That's really important to me. I do like the fact that I get summers off, though. When (if) I do have kids I'll get to spend uninterrupted time with them for part of their childhood. In a way it's the best of both worlds.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #23458
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    Now that would be ideal for me too-having summers off! I could have a taste of the sahm thing, but it would be just short enough (and probably feel too short) for me to lose patience with it.

    I'd also like to work a 4 day work week instead of 5. But that's mostly 'cause I don't feel like I ever get a day off. I shop on Saturdays and clean on Sundays. I also carpool the girls and their friends all over this earth too all weekend long.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #23459
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    **not that I don't enjoy the kids and their friends and driving them around-I really do like that. I would just like 1 day a week to just sit, soak in a tub, read a book...do 'nothing.'

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #23460
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    I know what you mean - but honestly, my friend worked 3 days a week and had her youngest two in preschool 4 days a week. She spent one day off with the kids so had no time to herself, and spent the second day running errands. She never relaxed.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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