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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #23341

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    Half the time, I get frustrated with Ikea-style fasteners and just whip out the old power tools to put thijgs together.

  2. #23342
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    Girls that use power tools are hot

    I'd probably make a mess of things and ruin it. I have to follow the directions to a T and I always think "this ain't right, there's no way this goes like this..." but I know me, so I follow the directions anyway. And they're almost always right. I have no judgement!!

    Work rant--my boss's boss, Frank, emailed me at 11:16 asking if I could set up a sit/stand desk between 11:15-12:30, 2-2:30, or 3:30-5 today. I've already overbooked myself and am working on 3 computers simultaneously-two of which I've promised to have done by 4:30. One of the computers needs the ID Finder scan done, which Frank has harped on us about 'picking up the slack' on repeatedly in recent weeks. I wrote back and told him I really couldn't do it today, that Thursday would be better but that my schedule fills up quickly due to the amount of new computers we have coming in right now. I left out how I still have 15 users to complete the ID Finder scans on, but he should already know that.

    He can't tell me he didn't know this freaking thing was coming in. And another vent-I'm supposed to be his back-up. I thought that meant I'd get called when someones computer melted down and Frank was unavailable, not to set up furniture that had been ordered weeks before!! AND (final vent)...I've never even seen one, much less set one up. I don't know the first thing about putting one together and it could easily take me all day!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #23343
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Half the time, I get frustrated with Ikea-style fasteners and just whip out the old power tools to put thijgs together.
    You mean the alan key? Lol. I hate those things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    You mean the alan key? Lol. I hate those things.
    I thought it was an alan wrench?? I don't know, I always call it that "crooked thingy"

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  5. #23345

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    DH doesn't even follow the directions and then he ends up putting things on upside down and backwards so he has to take it all apart and actually follow the directions.
    The alan wrench or whatever is it is a piece of you know what.

  6. #23346

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    I love alan wrenches!! They are actually my favorite part of putting the furniture together. I get amazed at those little things. I actually have about 50 of them in my personal tool box. I always joke with DH when we are assembling furniture/shelves that I am really good at screwing things. He always agrees with a funny grin.

    Erin

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    I have a complete set of Allen wrenches from when I used to do my own motorcycle repair. I like 'em. I also have a few power tools, including a drill and a saw. I don't really like to use the power tools when the kids are helping me, though.


  8. #23348
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    You used to do your own motorcycle repair L? That's awesome!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I didn't do much but the basics. Changed oil, filter, spark plugs, other miscellaneous easy stuff. I guess repair is kind of a misnomer. Maintenance is what I really meant. My boyfriend at the time showed me how. We spent hours in his warehouse working on our bikes, playing guitar, staying up late. I'm so glad I didn't marry him. I taught my dh how to ride a bike.


  10. #23350

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    Lydia you get cooler by the minute. Biker chick turned supermom. HOT.

    So, is it every mom or mil's official duty to constantly worry that the breastfed baby is not getting enough to eat? I just feel like I hear a lot of woman complain about that. Since I am not doing purees for Sawyer and just giving him food to gnaw on and become familiar with things at his own pace, dbf mom always thinks that he is hungry! She's like, "Look at him grab at your food! He's starving!" He is the happiest baby ever! If he was hungry we would all know. He grabs at my sewing scissors and cell phone with the same gusto he grabs at my sandwich!
    But all that said, she is being so helpful to me. I still have that baby for one more week and had three boys start two mornings a week. She takes Sawyer for as much of the day as he'll allow and he adores her. He would have adored my mom too. He loves him some grandmama love.
    So there are a lot of things she does that drive me crazy but really she tries so hard to be helpful and do things the way I like. I feel bad I ever let her annoy me. I should be grateful. I mean, I am grateful. From now on. Even if she does make me feel like I have a filthy house and keeps making comments to me about "when I get my body back."
    Last edited by Bridget; 09-20-2011 at 09:50 PM.

  11. #23351
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    I didn't do much but the basics. Changed oil, filter, spark plugs, other miscellaneous easy stuff. I guess repair is kind of a misnomer. Maintenance is what I really meant. My boyfriend at the time showed me how. We spent hours in his warehouse working on our bikes, playing guitar, staying up late. I'm so glad I didn't marry him. I taught my dh how to ride a bike.

    LOL!

    Bridget, I'm sorry about the MIL comments, but I'm glad she's trying.

    ETA: sorry, meant to quote you, L.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 09-20-2011 at 10:22 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    That boyfriend was a lot of fun, but he would have been a terrible husband and an even more terrible father. I was engaged to him and broke it off a month before the wedding. I tell my dh pretty frequently that I'm very glad I married him instead. DH agrees that he is much better for me (they were friends at one point).

    Bridget, it is totally justifiable to get annoyed at those kinds of comments. It doesn't mean you cannot also appreciate her completely for all the love and kindness she shows you. The two are not mutually exclusive, so if you are feeling any guilt for being annoyed just a tad at her, try to let it go. I get annoyed at my mom in lots of little ways, because of the way I am and the way she is. I love her completely, and she does so much for us and our children, but it doesn't stop me from getting annoyed. I've been feeling guilty about it as well, but I'm glad I talked to you about it because I'm going to try to let it go, too. It doesn't mean I don't love and appreciate her, but it also doesn't stop her from standing in my way every time I try to walk through a door, or stopping in front of my cart if we ever go shopping together, or standing right in front of the drawer I need to open if I'm cooking. (I told you, it's lots of little ways.)


  13. #23353
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bridget View Post
    Lydia you get cooler by the minute. Biker chick turned supermom. HOT.

    So, is it every mom or mil's official duty to constantly worry that the breastfed baby is not getting enough to eat? I just feel like I hear a lot of woman complain about that. Since I am not doing purees for Sawyer and just giving him food to gnaw on and become familiar with things at his own pace, dbf mom always thinks that he is hungry! She's like, "Look at him grab at your food! He's starving!" He is the happiest baby ever! If he was hungry we would all know. He grabs at my sewing scissors and cell phone with the same gusto he grabs at my sandwich!
    But all that said, she is being so helpful to me. I still have that baby for one more week and had three boys start two mornings a week. She takes Sawyer for as much of the day as he'll allow and he adores her. He would have adored my mom too. He loves him some grandmama love.
    So there are a lot of things she does that drive me crazy but really she tries so hard to be helpful and do things the way I like. I feel bad I ever let her annoy me. I should be grateful. I mean, I am grateful. From now on. Even if she does make me feel like I have a filthy house and keeps making comments to me about "when I get my body back."
    Agreed!

    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    That boyfriend was a lot of fun, but he would have been a terrible husband and an even more terrible father. I was engaged to him and broke it off a month before the wedding. I tell my dh pretty frequently that I'm very glad I married him instead. DH agrees that he is much better for me (they were friends at one point).

    Bridget, it is totally justifiable to get annoyed at those kinds of comments. It doesn't mean you cannot also appreciate her completely for all the love and kindness she shows you. The two are not mutually exclusive, so if you are feeling any guilt for being annoyed just a tad at her, try to let it go. I get annoyed at my mom in lots of little ways, because of the way I am and the way she is. I love her completely, and she does so much for us and our children, but it doesn't stop me from getting annoyed. I've been feeling guilty about it as well, but I'm glad I talked to you about it because I'm going to try to let it go, too. It doesn't mean I don't love and appreciate her, but it also doesn't stop her from standing in my way every time I try to walk through a door, or stopping in front of my cart if we ever go shopping together, or standing right in front of the drawer I need to open if I'm cooking. (I told you, it's lots of little ways.)
    Life's path can be very interesting indeed. I'm glad you ended up with your dh instead, but that doesn't mean picturing you up all night, strumming guitar and maintaining your motorcycle isn't the bee's knees!

    And Bridget I totally agree with what Lydia said. It makes perfect sense and it's a good reminder. It's ok to be annoyed by the people we love. I don't think that takes away from our love of them...and I'm sure we annoy them just as much sometimes.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Today is Jessica's 17th birthday, so I don't want to ruin my FB postings for the day whining about FB...but I gotta say the recent change is probably the worst one yet. I am not a fan and I'm certain I'm going to miss a lot of important-to-me posts.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #23355

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    Chrissy, if you change your language setting to English-UK, that seems to fix it. And you can close the sidebar. I don't like it either. I don't really use facebook though except for groups.

  16. #23356

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    Oh and happy birthday Jesi!

  17. #23357

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    What did facebook do?

    And thanks for letting me be annoyed by my mil. That makes me feel better. What really put me in check was seeing how awful dbf acts making it so obvious that she annoys him. I don't want to be so obvious. He tells me she was a horrible mom to him growing up. And she has also tearfully confided in me about things she did and mistakes she made that have made my heart hurt for dbf as a little boy. I just wish he could forgive her and move on. It's very uncomfortable to be around them.

    One thing she does that has me biting my tongue is telling me what my kids' interests are. "Kai LOVES soccer." or "Sawyer really likes to be sang to. You should sing to him."
    Thanks for the tips because being around my kids 24/7 leaves me totally clueless as to what they like.

  18. #23358
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    That makes me sad for your dbf too, but I really do believe as adults we have to let all that go. I speak from my own experience...I couldn't imagine how miserable I'd be if I were hanging on to resentment toward my mother for the stuff she did. Or even my dad. He did wonderful, but had his own demons to battle and wasn't perfect. They both did the best they could with what they had.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #23359

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    Both my parents are in my house now, so I can relate, Bridge & L. I don't like getting annoyed, because it's like I get drunk on it or something and have no judgment. I say the most thoughtless things when I'm that way. I do think I'm more patient as I get older and don't annoy as easily. Actually, I credit APA for teaching me to manage my irritation, because where else are you going to talk so openly with others from all walks of life about topics that people are so emotionally invested in? It's almost a given that this site will foment annoyance, but I've learned to just think "well there's that crazy idea I disagree with again." Or, "now there's a crazy idea I haven't heard before." And you learn to think almost parentally towards others who act like kids themselves. It really does build one's patience muscle. That said, I've steeled myself for a month of my mom asking me "permission" to give B a sip of water, and my dad wanting to play with his little electronic gadgets but needing me to set them all up for him.

    I confess I said "queue" on the previous page where I meant "cue". And I'm still sore that I once got a brand new pack of Allen wrenches seized from me at the airport because TSA thought I'd use them as tiny hexagonal shivs and hijack my flight to Vermont with them.

    L, Fogfest this weekend in Pacifica. There's a parade on Sat morning and our tots will be dressed as superheroes. All families are welcome. I work the mother's club booth at noon. Maybe you'd be interested in the festival out?

    I'm awake at this hour because I had a dream my dog chewed off her own foot and was so disturbed by it.

    I checked onine about my jury duty and saw I don't have to call in until 11:15 today, so I'm off work and can go to 9am yoga

  20. #23360

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    That makes me sad for your dbf too, but I really do believe as adults we have to let all that go. I speak from my own experience...I couldn't imagine how miserable I'd be if I were hanging on to resentment toward my mother for the stuff she did. Or even my dad. He did wonderful, but had his own demons to battle and wasn't perfect. They both did the best they could with what they had.

    I feel the same way and also had some resentments regarding my own parents, actually almost every adult in my family except my grandmother and great grandmother who were always supportive and there for me and made sure I had anything I needed that they could provide, including lots of love and attention.

    It is really interesting how similar your DBF is to my DH Bridget. DH was just like you describe regarding his own mom. She used to spank him everyday when he was a child and she married a man who physically abused her and DH and stayed with him for about 7 years. I also get sad thinking of DH as a boy because he and Ky are so much alike and Ky is just such a sweetheart and such a wonderful kid. DH is a sweetheart too most of the time (when he doesn't want to be an a$$hole LOL).

    But he had a lot of issues with his mom. Before I met MIL I thought she would be a horrible person. She is just the sweetest (yet also kind of annoying) woman I have ever been around and DH's family is just like a model family to me now. They always send birthday cards and anniversary cards, they are kind and loving. If you went by the way DH described them, you would think they were demons or something. I did speak a lot to DH about forgiving his mom and how I thought he spoke to her in a disrespectful way. It was just shocking to me, the tone of voice he would use when speaking to her, like she was a pile of poop or something. When I mentioned it he would tell me about all the horrible things she did and that she let happen to him and I would in turn tell him about my own mom, how she basically let me be sexually abused but how I forgave her, mostly because I didn't want to have to have any anger in my life or resentment towards her that may rub off in other areas. MIL is always apologizing to DH and I think he has forgiven her even though it took a long time. We have been together about 12 years and I think he probably only recently got over his issues with her in the past 2 years.

    Your MIL also sounds like mine as well. She was always making funny faces when mentioning how she thought Ky and especially Elle were hungry due to BFing. She always tells me things about the kids that she doesn't think I know. How Ky loves to draw for instance. I just smile. Even when she tells me I should join whatever exercise club so I can lose some weight. She says it just like that LOL. I just smile at her and tell her when I want to lose weight I will, that I know I'm fat so she doesn't have to remind me. I say it in a nice tone of voice and she is usually all apologetic, but she still says it a couple times a year when I see her. It doesn't bother me though and I still think she is a nice, sweet, old lady.

    Erin

  21. #23361

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    Chrissy, I'm sorry about Frank. I like to psychoanalyze bosses, and I think Frank sounds like a give-an-inch-take-a-mile type.

    L, also I was thinking the other day to sat again I'd love to meet up w/ you & pepperlu the next time you get together. She seems neat. I think I'll PM her about Fogfest. My phone keeps trying to correct that to Figfest. Yum!

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    Awesome, Mylah! Well, about the day off d/t jury duty and the fogfest and the invitation and all. Not about the bad dog dream. We're going to Tahoe this weekend, though. I have a work conference and we're making a weekend of it. My mom is staying here and watching baby S. It's going to be very weird being apart from him.

    I noticed the queue but knew what you meant.

    I sometimes realize even years later (sometimes I see these posts of mine for some reason or another) that I left out a word or made a gross error and really want to go back and correct it, but then I worry how weird it will look to see an edited by comment so far after the original post and how nitpicky that will look. It's easy to not be perfect when we're typing in a hurry or in the middle of the night or when a kid wakes up and needs us or something happens.

    ETA: I just saw your other post about Pepperlru. I really want to see her again, and have been meaning to try to meet up with her. We should try to plan something in October, maybe. I'll be happy to come over to the Other Side!
    Last edited by 3andMe; 09-21-2011 at 07:29 AM.


  23. #23363
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    I'm still trying to figure out exactly what the FB changes are.....so far the email notification seems changed and that instead of recent posts they are calling it stories?

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  24. #23364

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    Oh, and Bridget, I felt similarly about B the whole time I was Bfing. I spent more time in the BF room on Diaperswappers than in here, and the ladies there heard a lot of my concerns. they kept reassuring me to trust baby to regulate his own intake. It's hard when you can't measure what they're having. B get really efficient at nursing too, so he'd be done in a minute and I couldn't believe he'd had enough. Independent from anything your miL might say, if you're BLW right now, I'd
    think it's normal for Sawyer's intake to slow down.

    One of my bday presents from my mom this morning with a card saying she'd dedicated a Catholic mass in my name. Thanks, I guess? Very typical passive-aggressive reminder that she wishes I hadn't left the church. So happy birthday to me and thanks for the continued crusading, mother. Seriously, if there's
    Any passive aggression in me, it's in my blood. I still love her, but ... gah!

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    Wow I feel like I missed alot!

    I haven't really payed any attention to the FB changes other than the "lists" which I think are kind of dumb

    Bridget my dad was that way regarding his parents and I suppose that I was for a long time too. One day I hope he learns that he has to just embrace what happened in his childhood and accept that regardless of whether it was good/bad it is the reason he is where he is today-with you and your beautiful LO's

    I wish I lived closer to some APA ladies! I swear I'm the only one in Fl who gets on APA I always wonder when I see mama's out and about if they are APA mama's or not

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  26. #23366

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Oh, and Bridget, I felt similarly about B the whole time I was Bfing. I spent more time in the BF room on Diaperswappers than in here, and the ladies there heard a lot of my concerns. they kept reassuring me to trust baby to regulate his own intake. It's hard when you can't measure what they're having. B get really efficient at nursing too, so he'd be done in a minute and I couldn't believe he'd had enough. Independent from anything your miL might say, if you're BLW right now, I'd
    think it's normal for Sawyer's intake to slow down.

    One of my bday presents from my mom this morning with a card saying she'd dedicated a Catholic mass in my name. Thanks, I guess? Very typical passive-aggressive reminder that she wishes I hadn't left the church. So happy birthday to me and thanks for the continued crusading, mother. Seriously, if there's
    Any passive aggression in me, it's in my blood. I still love her, but ... gah!
    I don't worry about Sawyer for some reason. I worried about everything with Savana and Kai. Everything. I don't know if it's because he's my 3rd or if somehow I feel super connected to him because of the timing of finding out he was coming into my life was just as I was watching my mom die...I just don't know. But I always know what he needs the second he peeps. I am quite sure he's getting enough but dbf's mom thinks breastmilk isn't enough. She also thinks letting babies cry is good for their cardiovascular!

    Happy Birthday by the way!
    Last edited by Bridget; 09-21-2011 at 01:53 PM.

  27. #23367

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    Thanks, Bridget! I'm sorry that I misread you post then. I thought you'd been saying you were worried about Sawyer. I definitely was stressed about Bodhi for a good 9 months.

  28. #23368

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    Dbf just got word that an old friend of his from hawaii comitted suicide. He was a drug addict (crystal meth) so dbf stopped really having much to do with him once he got so deep into using that he wasn't even himself anymore. It's so sad. And dbf isn't good at just letting himself grieve. He keeps saying to me that he feels like he should have done something for Joe and I just keep telling him that there isn't anything you can do for a drug addict that does not want to quit. When I try to talk to him about it further he just clams up.
    Sigh. Life is hard.

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    Awww that is sad Bridget You are right though. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

    Speaking of addicts my little brother got away from his pill popping GF and is now on day 5, clean and sober (well except for the marijuana, but I'd much rather that than the pills!) I'm happy for him, he keeps apologizing for not being in our lives over the past couple of years... It's really sad watching him realize what he's done to himself and to our family

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


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    I'm sorry, Bridget. Meth is a terrible, terrible drug.

    And good for your little brother Christine!


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