Secular Confessions

[Gwenn]

I will help out families with kids when I see them. I don't often give money to the homeless, though. I hate to be callous but Tucson has a large "professional" homeless population because it doesn't get very cold here. I know someone who was temporarily in a homeless shelter and spoke with others and they all said to go to one homeless shelter over another because the first doesn't try to make you find a job and the second will put you into a program and expect you to work your way out of it (which they didn't want to do). So in SOME cases here, it is a conscious choice to remain homeless. People actually come here from other places because it's sort of a homeless-friendly area (although I can't imagine wanting to be here homeless in the summer). But when I see a kid involved it breaks my heart. I gave a woman with a little boy $20 once because the boy reminded me of a student on my caseload. She may have been scamming me, too - but that little boy deserved something and it didn't break me.

[missychrissy]

I'd rather be homeless in Tuscon than live in upstate NY...well, if I didn't have kids that is. and really, I'd probably prefer to be in a camper so I guess I wouldn't be homeless at all.

I'm trying to find humor in everything because right now I'm feeling so deflated about everything.

[Gwenn]

I'd rather be in upstate NY after looking at your pictures of the rain!

I understand about feeling deflated. Hang in there.

[missychrissy]

The grass is always greener? Well, except you don't have any and mine is all under flood water or 2 inches of filth and sediment.

[Gwenn]

Lol!

[missychrissy]

I brushed my teeth as soon as I got home, but I still taste and feel grit in my mouth from all the dust in the air. We're 1.5 miles outside of the village where the flooding was the worst, but it's simply incredible. My car is caked with dirt from sitting downtown for the last two days. I was only downtown long enough to step off the bus and hop in my car too...I think it's traveling in the air to our house.

[Gwenn]

Oh, yuck! That sounds miserable!

[daylilies]

Yucky

I don't give to the homeless. I know people say if you don't want to give them money you can buy them food, but who am I to assume what they like? What if he throws away the Big Mac? Then I've wasted my money.

[girlwonder]

I tend to give money/water/food to the panhandlers - with jojo I usually have something. I feel that it is important to acknowledge their human-ness in a way. Even the pros, of which we have a lot because it doesn't usually get too cold here. Though two years ago one homeless person froze to death outside of a church. I'm very much aware of how lucky I am and so I feel okay about giving money.

I just learned how to make kettle corn. It is really easy. This is bad. This is really really bad.

[Bridget]

I always gave money to the homeless when I lived in the city. Also cigarettes. I worked at a tavern where an older gentlemen used to come in and dig through the ashtrays so I'd get my pack and give him a few. The owner of the bar would shake his fist at me but I just told him my bleeding heart was part of what made me so darn lovable.
I actually knew most of the homeless people in my neighborhood, some of them by name. The didn't hit me up for money every time they saw me or anything but I always gave them what I could. I didn't even care what they spent it on. I figure every one of us is just a few wrong turns from ending up in a hopeless situation. I know for sure that my kindness made a difference to them. I'd stop to chat sometimes too. (Oh my poor mother if she'd ever known) I felt like they had my back too. One night when I was walking from my flat to get a late night snack some guys were yelling creepy random catcall-ish type stuff and one of my homeless buddies was hanging with them. He said something and they all stopped. There was also a married couple that were quite old and one winter night when my best friend and I were walking from her house to mine we saw them and he had his arms around her and she had no coat. My sweet friend gave her the coat right off her back.
God, I miss being young and sassy and full of hope.

[missychrissy]

Bridget, there are many things about you which indeed make you loveable.

We don't have homeless people where I live. I guess there are some in Ithaca and Binghamton, but I never go in the areas where they are so I don't see them. I'm not sure I'd be able to give every time...but in theory if I had it I would.

[Ky'sMom]

We have a TON of homeless people here in Atlanta. They are always trying to come up with "solutions" to get rid of them. During the Olympics in 1996 they basically gave them tickets to wherever they wanted to go. I have heard that they are thinking of doing that again. Most went to NYC and out west, probably to Tucson since it is homeless haven!!

I give money and food. It cracked me up once DH and the kids and I went to Taco Bell (which I hate but DH and Ky love them) and a man asked us for a dollar to get something to eat while we were in Taco Bell. DH offered him a burrito and the guy said "I don't eat meat" and made a face of disgust. DH told him it was a bean burrito so there was not meat in it and the guy was like "How do I know it doesn't have pork lard in it?" and was all serious. So DH laughed at him and told the guy, "I don't think you are very hungry then. If I were hungry and somebody offered me a fresh burrito I would tear into it. I would even eat a half eaten burrito if I were hungry!" Then he proceeded to tell the restaurant clientele "Hey everyone, I wouldnt' listen to this guy if I were you, I don't think he is hungry, I offered him a burrito and he has dietary restrictions." He said it very loudly. DH is pretty outrageous in public. Back then I was embarrassed but am used to him now so it doesn't bother me. Oddly enough though he is one of the only people I know IRL who treats homeless people with a ton of respect. He even did give the guy a dollar and joked around with him that he should strive to be as healthy (he used finger quotations around healthy) as the homeless guy. The guy talked to us for a few minutes then left the restaurant.

Here in Atlanta though most of our homeless population is mentally ill. A large majority of them are also veterans, there was study done at the largest homeless organization and something like over 70% had a mental illness and over 60% of homeless men were veterans. Also over half of them are women and children. I know most are scammers though. I grew up with some "homeless" scammers, friends of my dad. One used to stand at a particular exit on the freeway with a sign asking for money. He said he could make $300 in 4 hours per day. He did it about 2-4 days per week. He had a nice house and a car and we used to go over there for BBQs.

Erin

[Smplyme89]

Here in Atlanta though most of our homeless population is mentally ill. A large majority of them are also veterans, there was study done at the largest homeless organization and something like over 70% had a mental illness and over 60% of homeless men were veterans. Also over half of them are women and children. I know most are scammers though. I grew up with some "homeless" scammers, friends of my dad. One used to stand at a particular exit on the freeway with a sign asking for money. He said he could make $300 in 4 hours per day. He did it about 2-4 days per week. He had a nice house and a car and we used to go over there for BBQs.
Erin

That story about your DH cracked meup!

I guess I'm on the other end, because the example you posted is exactly why I won't give money to homeless people. Now I have given food and even clothes, but I will not give moeny. We have alot of homeless in my area (mostly drunks-the druggies tend to prostitute themselves or get arrest so they can get fed) One (who claims to be homeless) stands on the corner by my work, I watch him smoke cigarette after cigarette while he holds a sign saying he has no money Really?? Plus he always leave before 4 which is conveniently when the bar across the street opens

[AmeriBrit]

A lot of homeless people here sit on corners with dogs. I asked my dh why anyone who couldn't feed themselves would have a pet and he replied "companionship."

[girlwonder]

Also protection. If I had to sleep on the streets I would definitely want a dog - it could warn me if someone was trying to steal my stuff or sneak up on me or whatever.

[Bridget]

Erin your dh is a trip. I could picture that whole story in my head.

[Ky'sMom]

Yes DH is a hoot. I used to try to hide when we went out but now I just view him as better than any show we go to LOL!

He is also friends with most of the homeless guys who hang around downtown. He and I both work downtown, we work across the street from each other so we see each other often and whenever we meet he is always stopped by homeless people on the street and he asks them about random things that are going on with their lives, like if they found whoever stole their umbrella and why do all the homeless guys have similar t-shirts from Auburn University. He found out that the homeless shelter downtown got a large donation from Auburn of T-shirts and hats. I hadn't even noticed that most of the homeless guys downtown ARE wearing Auburn t-shirts. They all seem to love DH, probably because he gives them whatever change he has but he is a pretty friendly fellow and I think they like that he is jokey with them.

Came on here to confess another thing about my boss. I know that the other day she was reading my emails. I think that is rather strange. She put some papers on my desk I had to scan to our corporate office while I went to the restroom and when I came back I had 3 new email messages that I didn't have before but all of them had been read. I was like WTH! She didn't even say anything to me about reading them. It woudn't have bothered me at all if she did as long as she said something like "Erin, I put the papers on your desk and I saw you got a message from Insert name of person from the housing authority so I checked it just to make sure there wasn't an emergency." But she didn't say anything at all. I usually lock my keyboard because it is a habit from working at a bank for so many years where they pushed PC safety but sometimes I let my guard down, plus she and I were the only ones in the office that day. Even though I don't do anything underhanded at work or have any emails besides work/school related, I just think it is common courtesy to let someone know when you are going through their computer.

Also my other co-worker thinks she is an alcoholic!! I don't think she is but she does act strange and I have thought that she may be on some sort of perscription drug that makes her act nutty.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

Also protection. If I had to sleep on the streets I would definitely want a dog - it could warn me if someone was trying to steal my stuff or sneak up on me or whatever.

I'd never even thought of that! The practical side of me was just thinking, "How would I feed a dog if I couldn't feed myself." But I suppose dogs can live off garbage food.

Erin, that's not cool about your boss; are you going to ask her about it?

[The10Eels]

Hi everyone! Just thought I would pop in here for a little bit. I am mainly keeping up with everyone on facebook, but sometimes ya need the APA fix. lol

The stories about the "career" homeless are similar to how things are here. I actually overheard an older guy teaching a young guy how to do it. He said he makes as much in a day as some of the oilfield workers out here. Sometimes more if people are feeling really generous.

I saw many of the same people holding signs at the exit of walmart come into the store I worked at and spend boocoo bucks on movies, cds, etc.. so I don't give either. I will, however, buy a cup of chili from the quiznos that is right near where the "homeless" hold their signs if it is particularly cold out, just on the off chance that they are really down on their luck. A hot cup of chili is nice when its chilly out, no matter who you are.

[Bean]

There are a surprising amount of homeless people here in Alaska, and honestly I think it's because there are so many alcoholics. They have commercials here about how panhandling is illegal, don't give them money, etc. but this is freaking ALASKA. These guys are out standing in the snow all day when it's -30 degrees. If they want to drown their sorrows in some liquor, I can hardly blame them.

[Gwenn]

Erin, that is too funny about your DH! I can just picture it!

We used to have guys panhandling on every single big intersection. It got to the point where, if you were in the turn lane and stopped for a red light, they would get aggressive and stick their heads in your car window or insult or threaten people who didn't give them money while they were waiting for the light to change. It got to the point where the city passed a law outlawing panhandling at intersections. I don't like the idea behind that law, but it makes sense why it was passed because it was literally every intersection. The day the law went into effect, they all disappeared.

[Ky'sMom]

Erin, that's not cool about your boss; are you going to ask her about it?

No, I'm not going to ask her. I have decided I'm going to focus on going back to school and getting my Master's and PhD and I really don't want to start any more drama at work. I'll stay until I can get some good financing from school or if I can get a teaching assistantship of some sort.

There is enough complaining in our office, usually about trivial matters and really if she was just being nosy, I figure she really didn't see much of anything that would cause her concern about my work.

Even though she is rather strange, I do think she depends on me for a lot of things. I did ask her not to send me so many yelling emails in all caps though because it was getting aggrivating and she has stopped even though she looked pissed off that I said something to her. All my co-workers profusely thanked me about it though because she has stopped doing so many email raids to us since then.

Also I will share another work funny that is just ridiculous to me. One of my co-workers, J, is a piece of work. She doesn't like to do anything for herself and I have caught her trying to steal money from the company for mileage and personal reimbursements (she tried to double the miles between our properties once before her vacation and submitted 4 months worth of mileage reports totalling $1200, our construction manager, who spends the majority of his time out of the office rarely gets more than $200. J is a social worker who usually only works from one location and she was really ticked off that I flagged her mileage sheets and informed management that I could not approve them. She confessed that she needed the money for her vacation, but didn't know that she had inflated her mileage sheet but anywho....). I had to leave work early last Friday because of a last minute meeting for the Lego Robotics club that Ky is a part of now. We had to go to an event and even though my boss is super crazy about email, she usually doesn't care if I leave early since I open the office and rarely take a lunch and I don't charge them for overtime. So I cleared it with her and another co-worker who is head of a department and whom I also do tasks for and both didn't care that I needed to leave. J was at the office at the time and I told her I would be leaving at 4:30. I got a call from a long winded old person complaining about their property manager so didn't get to leave until 4:50 and by that time I was flying out of the door.

Fast forward to yesterday and I got an email from my boss saying I needed to discuss a concern J had. J had written her and email saying that she was "surprised and frightened" on Friday when she realized that she was in the office by herself at 4:50. She had never closed the office before and didn't know what to do. She went ahead and turned out the lights and locked the door and left at 5 like she usually does. J wanted us to come up with a end of the day protocol so this sort of situation doesn't happen again.

I actually laughed at my desk reading this. I had to go and have a meeting to discuss what I usually do when I leave. I'm like, I do like J does and I lock the door and turn out the lights. DUH!!!

I just couldn't believe that J would take something like that to my boss. It was really ridiculous IMO. I wanted to tell her that she never knew what to do to close the office because she always leaves at 3pm, saying she is going to a property. She never goes to the property. I have called her after 3pm when she was supposedly at a specific property and she wasn't there, plus I could hear her kid in the background who is 3 and is pretty loud and whom I know stays home with her DH so I know she is lying. But do I tattle tell on her? No I don't. It makes me want to go all ape sh!t crazy on her and expose her for what she really is, a lying, stealing, non-working waste of payroll money. She only works for us because she is friends with the CEO and my last boss couldn't fire her because of this. She is really rubbing me the wrong way though lately. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that everytime our new boss brings up areas where J needs to improve, she makes up excuses and tries to blame our old boss for all of her current issues as well.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

Dear lord, Erin, you do work with some interesting people! That's one of the reasons i'm glad to not be going back to office work. It's hard for me to put up with people's antics and not go insane from the bizarre things that people say and do.

[missychrissy]

Goodness Erin. J would drive me crazy too and it is absolutely hysterical that she had to call a meeting about closing an office!! But your boss reading your emails? That would torque me off bigtime. I admire your self restraint a lot.

I only suspect my boss sat at my computer one time and perused whatever and I still get ticked when I think of it. Here it's different than in a corporate office, 'our' computers are 'ours' and we can do wtf ever on them that we want to (some even keep porn!). We're allowed to use our Cornell email for personal email. So for me, it's a huge betrayal of trust to think he'd go through my stuff.

[Smplyme89]

Erin you really do work wtih qutie an interesting group J would've peeved me off too! My boss reads our e-mails. He's a very overbearing sort of boss. Not a bad guy or anything, just kind of annoying to work under Unfortunately I need this job though, so I will continue to put up with the BS for as long as my sanity allows

[Ky'sMom]

I have considered quitting this job but it is really easy and they pay me well for doing hardly nothing. Though we do benefit from the money I make here, I don't really need to work to get by since I am uber cheap and we can make do on DH's income. But I wanted to take some of the stress off of him with providing for us. DH will work 3 jobs if he feels we need more money and has a great work ethic and even though he gets on my nerves a lot, I miss him when he is not around due to working.

I don't know if you have ever seen the show "Everybody Hates Chris" with Chris Rock but the mom on that show always cracks me up because she gets a job and people piss her off and she will say "I don't have to take this!!! My man has TWO jobs!" and she will quit. I get the urge to do that here but DH only has one job now. I made him quit the other when I started here because he is getting older and I don't want him to be working 24/7.

I just feel since my old boss was fired though that I cannot trust any of them and I did make sure to tell my new boss that she would have to sign off on J's mileage reimbursement and for her to be certain to check J's mileage via mapquest. J gave me one the other day that literally stated "home" to "conference training" 128 miles. We get 51 cents per mile for mileage and the rules clearly state that you cannot start from "home" or get mileage from a property to your home. When I questioned our new boss, she told me that J said that our old boss had already approved that. I told her that our old boss never trusted J on mileage and would have never approved that. Our old boss had me check every single item on J's list when she was here because she had caught her trying to steal money so much via mileage. My co-workers doesn't like that J does this either as the company may take away their mileage benefit if they claim too many miles and two of my co-workers really depend on it since they actually do travel a lot for work, they usually get $150 or $200 a month, not $300 like J tries to claim.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Everybody Hates Chris!!

I don't know why they put up with that J. It sounds like a fire-able offense if I ever heard one.

[Smplyme89]

I love Everybody Hates Chris My DH is the same way, I don't know how many times we've had arguments over him picking up side jobs on the weekends. I mean I know we need the money, but I also need quality time with my husband.

I agree with Chrissy, I don't know why they put up with that?? I've never heard of a better reason to fire someone.

[missychrissy]

I don't mind Rich working extra. He used to do it a lot more than he does now. But I did mind it a few weeks ago when he worked extra and then drank all the $ he made.

[Ky'sMom]

I don't mind Rich working extra. He used to do it a lot more than he does now. But I did mind it a few weeks ago when he worked extra and then drank all the $ he made.

My DH used to do the same thing. He usually is a waiter/server at different clubs/restaurants for extra money and unless I raid his pants for cash after his shift a lot of times he would go to the bar and spend all of it.

He used to work at a pretty uppity restaurant where he could make $300 in 3 hours and a few times he would go out immediately after his shift (he got off at midnight sometimes) and since he worked downtown there were a ton of sports bars so he would go over there and spend $200 on drinks and food and would even pay for other people to drink and eat. It used to really upset me. He also would forget where he spent money. It was just crazy to me but I know he is a big spender. I don't think I would mind so much if he actually bought something we could use like tools or something. He will still go out and spend a bunch of money at bars, though currently he is doing really well not drinking so much and probably only drinks once every couple weeks while watching football.

Erin