Oh Myles. What a mess! Your response sounded very sweet though and I doubt she can stay annoyed with you.
Erin. I wouldn't have much patience for that either.
ps-I feel so lousy because I know both your situations deserve much more indepth response, but I had yet another bomb shell dumped on me today and I just cannot focus. I'm sorry. I have read your posts and care very deeply about you and wish you both the best in your situations.
Hi, everyone. Had our appointment with the RE today. I was very uncomfortable/nervous going and so was DH, but I really liked the doctor. He had the results from DH's semen analysis and apparently he has poor morphology (16% where it should be around 30%, if I'm remembering correctly). Everything else was normal. So the doctor is worrying about the sperm and DH has to do another SA in 6-8 weeks. Then he did a transvaginal ultrasound and said my uterus looks good with normal thickness of my lining (8mm) - if the MTHFR were preventing implantation I'd have much thicker lining and he said no signs of endometriosis. He also said my left ovary was "perfect." Then he said my right had likely been the one to ovulate that month and everything looked good. He ordered lab work to be done on day 2 of my cycle and put in an order for an HSG. He didn't really present risks for the HSG or discuss was this something I wanted to do, just put in an order in the lab. Jennifer, I'd love your thoughts on the HSG as I know that's something you opted out of. Anyway, doctor said if the HSG is clear and the repeat SA is the same as this one, the plan will be clomid + IUI. He was concerned about the MTHFR due to the health risks to me (counseled me to take baby aspirin prior to boarding an airplane, but didn't suggest daily baby aspirin) and also the risks to a pregnancy, but wasn't worried from a fertility standpoint. He prescribed me a higher dosage of folic acid and suggested lots of salmon and sardines. I told him I hate fish and he told me to "get over it." LOL!
Overall we liked the doctor. Oh, and Jennifer, he did do a pap for me so no need to go back to the ob's office for that! I also asked his office manager to give me the appropriate billing code to show the ob's office and she gave it to me! She totally agreed with me it was bs and the billing department was wrong.
Myles and Erin, I love you both but I'm too emotional about the RE right now to pay attention to detail ... responses later as appropriate I'm sure.
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
Actually Myles, my boss has actually told me that she wants to prioritize certain things and when I do she keeps bugging me about other things. She asked for a list of my tasks and frequency of those tasks, for instance I have weekly, bi-weekly, bi-monthly, and monthly reports that I create so she knows my schedule and what I prioritize. She gave me a compliance task last week to call all our vendors (12 companies) and get an E-Verify affidavit from all of them because the housing authority needed them to comply with a new immigration law that was passed. She said to make it my first priority and only work on that and the daily reports I do for three days. I followed her instructions. Our big bosses out of state sent her an email saying they didn't get one my monthly reports so she calls me in her office and begins to badger me about why wasn't the report uploaded for them. I told her because she told me to focus on compliance and affidavits for 3 days and those 3 days fell during the time that I usually upload the report. She then proceeds to tell me that I should have uploaded the report the week before. I let her know that I always upload it on a specific date, it is not due for a week after that date. I told her it is not even due yet, even with me focusing on compliance (which I don't feel I should have to do, I've done it before and it is basically badgering people by phone for documents, something I hate because I feel like a telemarketer). She told me to get it uploaded, so I did and then she kept sending me emails with the following title: E-VERIFY DEADLINE ERIN!!!! with the following message: I need an update ASAP :-) (she puts the smiley faces in, that is her). She is really a trip to me.
Most of the items that she is always jumpy about as well are really not a big deal. Like the report I didn't upload, she didn't have to call me in her office (after sending me an email titled: COME SEE ME IN MY OFFICE ASAP, she puts ASAP after all her messages which is why I always joke with my co-workers that she is yelling at us lol) about that report. She could have just emailed our top admin assistant and told her that she had me working on something else that was a priority and I would upload the report on Thursday if that was okay.
She is a nice lady though personality wise most of the time. I also feel sorry for her because the way our bosses out of state handled the situation with my previous boss was very dirty and underhanded. They didn't have any reason to fire her and basically forced her out of the company, I think because she didn't get along with the head of HR. I feel like they put the new boss in a difficult environment being that no one from our out of state office really gave her any guidance with the new position. I am basically telling her how to be the VP through our conversations about what my last boss' tasks were and how she did them, who to talk to, etc. I did not sign up for compliance or trainer to a VP. I have worked in higher level positions and have been stressed out about deadlines and goals that I HAD to meet to perform my job. I don't have any deadlines that are like that at this company. I make my own deadlines and the reports I create are not vitally important to the running of the business. I am not audited for accuracy by an outside agency, which is the case with procurement/compliance as we are audited by the local housing authority and by HUD and I don't want my job to depend on scores from audits. I feel in a way they are trying to force me to leave as well but that they are holding off on firing me because they need me to train the new boss and other employees they hired after firing some of our vital employes all willy nilly without thinking through the consequences it would have on the business.
Personally I feel the company is going down hill as well and I should get out before I lose my job. I feel the out of state office wants to micromanage and doesn't want to listen to my suggestions. I feel the same way about the new boss. She does everything that the out of state bosses tell her to do even though they really don't know what they are talking about. Both of the execs involved in our affairs work in Chicago and have only been with our company for about 6 months. They do not know much about the processes and procedures in our region and I feel it will implode on them within the next year. I do hope for them to be successful though but they are just working my nerves.
I agree too that it is good to continually look for work. I was thinking like you and that I could garner more money and I am happy I got to learn more about real estate and construction management while at the job I am working. I have worked at a construction company before but it is interesting to learn the other side of the business from a property management/owner position.
But I am really sick of procurement if you can't tell and all cap emails LOL.
And Chrissy don't worry about not being more in depth. I just wanted to vent a little and really didn't expect any response.
Christina, how did N's appointment go today?
Me (38) DH (45) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12
I just got here and I can't believe all the long and detailed posts that have happened since I last checked in, and it's only 5 minutes until my bedtime because certain children stayed up way later than they were supposed to. All I can say is that I feel like I can't reply even a little because I don't have the time to reply to all, but what a day it's been! Hopefully I'll have a chance to sneak in bits and pieces tomorrow at work. I hope all of you have a calm night.
Erin - that boss sounds awful! I would definitely be looking for something else. It is just a set-up for failure situation. Ugh. I hate working the most because of bosses and co-workers. I always just want to show up and do my work, but there's always some awful personality issue that ruins it.
Myles- I hate situations like that, too. They make me feel sick to my stomach and then afterwards I just want to take a nap. It is hard when everyone around you is saying that reality is THIS to not be influenced by that.
Gwenn, glad you had a good appt.
Chrissy - I wish it would stop raining on you.
Christina - I hope N's appointment went well
Ash - I thought Toy Story 3 was sad and scary and just awful. JoJo has seen it - she says it is scary but it didn't really sink in if that makes sense. But I wouldn't have let her see the movie myself (thank you in-laws)
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov
((hugs)) Mandy. It does sound like your RE is a good one. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I'm still too busy to really think about and post replies appropriately but you ladies are all in my thoughts constantly.
I'm taking Bobbie up to her school to finish her registration. School is supposed to start tomorrow for her! Eek!! And I have to register Jesi and Sydney for school as well so I'll be out most the day. I hope everyone has a great day.
Myles that must have been very uncomfortable. I don't care too much for confrontation either and find that it drains and depresses me!
Erin that would annoy the crap out of me! It is ridiculous that they fired two people and expect you to continue doing those jobs with no compensation I don't blame you one bit for wanting to look for another job, a change can be very refreshing
Gwenn DH only had 10% morphology and you see where that go us Your RE sounds great. I never did an HSG, but we considered it and from my reading its a fairly simple procedure to check and make sure that your tubes are open.
AFM N's appointment went fantastic!!! He does NOT have cystic fibrosis!!! and his stool sample (the one out of three they had back) showed no signs of an enzyme deficiency!! AND he gained 1lb 10oz!! He is still severely under curve, but as long as he continues to gain no more testing for us!!! It was the best appointment EVER! I thought I was going to cry, it was pitiful!
Ladies, I know you know, but don't ever feel like you have to reply to anything I say in here. I'm just happy to have somewhere to "put it", when something's on my mind. And I especially wouldn't expect your thoughts on posts where I asked you to follow so much detail on such an everyday type of burden. Hugs to you all.
Gwenn, your RE sounds thorough. I would be super emotional about a visit like that too, so I hope it's at least reassuring to get some answers through all the testing. If Christina's DH had 10% morphology then I like your odds. perhaps you could increase them by DTD 3x as often.
Erin, your boss sounds like a micro manager, and anxious because she doesn't know her own job herself. She sounds like a lot of project managers I have worked with, which means she sounds pretty green. The execs at your company are to blame too because they seem to be placing unreasonable expectations on her, which she then transfers onto you.
Christina, that must have felt sooooooo good to leave the doctor's office. I'm glad N is doing better and CF-free. That deserves a Woo-hoooo!!!
Last edited by demigraf; 08-24-2011 at 08:23 AM.
Sounds like a pretty good appt with getting everything covered. Did he order any lab work for you? I'm thinking a TSH is usually done, prolactin, FSH....trying to remember what else.
I would do an HSG if I were you. It's pretty much standard if doing IF treatments. The risks are really pretty low, like 1% or something for infection and often they do a course of antibiotics with it. I was basically just being a big chicken....and I was even offered some valium or something to take first. I would have bite the bullet if I was going to do an IUI though. No sense in wasting the money on that if the tubes are blocked. But for me labs are subject to deductible first so we would have paid out of pocket for it. Didn't see a point in paying $1375 or something like that when we knew we wouldn't be doing IUI or IVF anyway. Better for us to put that money towards the adoption.
There is some belief too that the flushing of the tubes can increase the chances of success for about 3 months afterwards....especially if they use oil based dye instead of water based dye.
Oh duh, just saw the order for lab work!
I wouldn't get over my hatred of fish either. I would just find the burpless fish oil pills and take those instead!
That's fantastic news, Christina!
Erin, your job situation sounds like my dh's before he moved to his current role. He had a boss that was just an idiot as a boss. I wish he would get out of the retail business. He's always getting measured on all sorts of numbers and statistics and the pressure really gets to him.
Myles, it sounds like you were stuck between a hard place on the tenant situation. Did she ever call you back?
We did a few new moves last night at zumba and I thought of your crazy names for them. One was where we marched with our feet wide and waved our arms in the air like we were trying to catch dollar bills in one of those air booth things on game shows.
Still no poo from Travis but Cash seems to be doing enough for them both! I just wish Travis would stop saying he can't do it and just push the turd out!
Yet another double post from me
Last edited by AmeriBrit; 08-24-2011 at 08:43 AM.
Poor Travis Being constipated so NO fun!
Good morning, ladies. I had a very weird and unpleasant night. I don't think I have enough staff today, so I'm stuffing my face with an entire day's worth of food before clocking in, in anticipation of not having any breaks.
1. "No time to play a game, kids. Mommy says it's bedtime."
2. Baby bedtime was up to me. He took 2 hours to fall asleep and got his shots that day. He started calling me by name from his crib. "Ee-ee-uh, Ee-ee-uh, Mommy, Ee-ee-uh," and when I came closer he'd grab my head with both of his hands and give me a kiss. That wasn't the bad part, obviously. It was the crying from 11-12:30 before I finally gave in and gave him ibuprofen a little bit early.
3. DD started episodic crying during the night in her sleep. Every 30 minutes, then every 60 minutes, then every 90 minutes, then so on. I would go in and she would be sound asleep but sobbing like she was miserable. I tried to wake her up to no avail. When I finally succeeded, she denied being sad or scared, and said she was having a pleasant dream. She said she had no idea why she was crying. During one crying spell, I went in and found her draped over the ottoman in their room, sound asleep and sobbing.
4. DS wandered into our room and asked for Daddy in the middle of the night. I said he was sleeping and took him back to his room, and he said he was hearing voices. I asked if it was DD, and he said no, he was hearing voices in his head. I asked if it was a dream, and he said no, he was awake but hearing voices in his head. I asked him if they were saying anything. He said they were telling him to do things. The hair on the back of my neck lifted. I asked what they were telling him to do. He paused for a long minute, and he said, "Well, right now they're telling me to go back to bed and go to sleep." That part sounded made up on the spot to me, but who knows about the rest. I do know that singular auditory hallucinations can occur in otherwise normal people, and that you can't believe everything kids say, but it's still kind of creepy. I told him if he ever hears voices telling him to do bad things, he shouldn't do them and to tell me right away.
Needless to say, I got maybe 30 minutes of continuous sleep at a time during the night, and 4 1/2 hours total at the most.
Darn it, two minutes to clock in time. Christina, so happy about the good news with your appointment! Gwenn, I am glad about your appointment too. It seems so promising. I would just take fish oil capsules as well, because even though I occasionally eat fish, I don't eat enough and I don't like the really fishy-tasting fish that has all the benefits. Ash, keep up with the Miralax - I truly believe it's a miracle drug and it will work eventually. Mylah, thanks for your reassurance. I'm glad it was enough to talk about it, because I am out of time again.
Thanks, Lydia; it's reassuring to hear that from you since I know that you are in the medical field! Your night sounds draining to say the very least. I hope tonight is a better night for you. Travis has done that crying in his sleep thing and it's so weird. He did it for like 3 nights in a row a few weeks ago and then it just stopped.
L that sounds like one rough night! I really really hope that tonight is better and you are able to get some sleep!
Yowza! What a rough night, Lydia!! I hope you get a second to check in here, so you get this: from me.
I have a question for you girls. When you see someone is doing something - even on the computer - and you're trying to talk to them, do you keep talking even if that person doesn't look up? Even if that person hunches closer to the computer screen to try to concentrate better with someone talking in their ear? My DH doesn't. I had told him I was trying to do a file transfer for work. And he just stormed off when I sighed heavily and shot him a look and deadpanned - "that sounds interesting".
Ash - LOL. We gotta come up with a name for that move. It sounds like a game show!!
Yes I stop talking if I see someone is involved on the computer, but my DH does not
So glad to hear about Ns appointment. I hope he keeps on gaining well!
And I sometimes talk to people when they are on the computer. Usually it is because I am doing something else. Our office also functions as "my room" I have a bed in there and my clothes and a bathroom is attached so I go in there to fold clothes and dress and such and if DH is in there on the computer, then I talk to him sometimes. He will tell me that he is doing something and didn't hear me though and I will tell him I'll wait for him to get done with whatever he is doing. I don't have a problem with that. What irks me sometimes is that he will insist I tell him again immediately what I was saying and I tell him I don't want to because he is not paying attention, he says he will, I tell him, and he says "huh, I was looking at (whatever)." It would make me upset but I figure I shouldn't have been talking to him anyway. I haven't done that in a while and I think I'm going to get us both laptops so that he won't be in my room anymore anyway.
I do get extremely annoyed when people try to talk to me when I'm working. It's distracting and hard to focus. Even if it's a simple task, sometimes someone else chattering at you makes it more complex than it ought to me.
I try to talk to DH when he's on the computer because it's easier than talking to him while he's watching TV. I know he usually doesn't hear a thing I say either way.
DH has a habit of talking even when I'm clearly not interested, or busy, (eyes glazed over, monotone, monosyllabic answers to questions, etc.) whereas I've learned to stop talking or at least make sure I have his attention if I see those symptoms.
Erin, the more I think about it, the more I say... look for another job!!! You deserve a boss who appreciates how awesome you are.
It is a product of our lifestyles, I imagine. I am probably more available to talk, because I am frequently moving around in the evening, doing things with my hands like picking up toys or loading the dishwasher or putting away laundry or wiping down counters while dh is lying down on the couch with a screen in front of him. So if he needs to say something to me, it's not really an interruption, whereas if I say something to him, it really is. Or even if I'm here, it's easy for me to stop and listen if he wants to say something.
I am still really dwelling on last month's episode where I came out from putting the twins to bed and wanted to talk to him about this increasingly problematic behavior that DS was exhibiting toward baby DS. I got about six sentences into it when I realized he was very annoyed at me for talking. So I stopped, and later on he told me he was giving me deliberately and increasingly obvious signs of his total lack of interest in the conversation. First he sighed as he paused the tv. Then he didn't look at me and didn't respond very much. Then he had to actually look away from me and start tapping his fingers before I got the clue that he didn't want to talk. I am horrified and humiliated about that whole thing, and it's making me very defensive with a lot of our conversations, because I'm wary that every conversation we have he could just be rolling his eyes internally and wishing I would go away and leave him alone. It's a really hard situation to be in, and makes me feel like the unpopular girl at school that nobody wants to play with, except it is at my own house.
So I can't help you from your end, honestly, but I can help you from the end of being the person who feels like everything else is more important. And it's really hard to see the person you love get annoyed just because you want to talk to them. And mostly we spend 3 hours a night doing separate and quiet things and we don't talk at all except if I have to say something intrusive like "Remember that we have this weekend coming up where you need to take Friday off."
I know that's probably not the situation you guys are facing, but IF you have a choice, I would say that rather than send off "Don't bug me, I'm busy with my computer right now" vibes and hoping they get the memo, I would, in their shoes, prefer to hear something like "I really want to hear what you have to say, but I am right in the middle of something right now and I don't think I'd be able to fully concentrate on what you are saying until I finish it. Do you want to set aside some time to talk when I'm done?" and then stick to it.
Along those lines, I think I need to be better about asking my dh if he is able to talk before just interrupting.
ETA: Obviously this is something I'm still dwelling on quite a bit. I was thinking about this quite a bit last night, actually, as he accused me of being quick to anger recently. I realized it's because every time I talk to him I am wondering if he is trying to signal to me that he wants me to just shut up and leave, so I'm being hypervigilant for signs of his disinterest, so every glance away or every tone of voice that is not perfectly even is reason for me to ask him what's going on. It's awful.
Last edited by 3andMe; 08-24-2011 at 03:19 PM.
Jeez, Lydia. I would have been totally hurt. I don't like how he makes you feel.
Dbf gets really frustrated if i don't stop what I'm doing and listen to him and he is a huge talker. Like, nonstop. He talks fast and loud and long. Just now he was telling me in a very animated way about a vegetable in the garden and said, "It's THIS big!" and I was chopping vegetables so I didn't look right away and he said, "HELLO! FOCUS!!" I said "I AM focused, on chopping this garlic!" If I don't answer him immediately he says something like, "Am I talking to myself here?"
But he literally cannot focus on 2 tasks at once and will become very stressed out if asked to so he will ask me to wait until he finishes the task at hand.
Christina, I am so so so happy that N is doing so well! You are a good mama.