Secular Confessions

[daylilies]

If you've lost empathy for me just tell me to STFU

[missychrissy]

Ha! No no...I think in general terms I have. It's kinda hard to explain. If I 'know' the person I always feel empathy. And it's not like I never feel empathy for people I don't know either...it's only certain things. Or maybe the truth is it's just the mood I'm in. I've been very moody/negative lately.

[missychrissy]

I can't believe this. My sister-in-law just stopped in after work and told us that her daughter (Brianna, 12) had been teasing her & Sydney's cousin (Brittany, also 12) about having to wear hearing aides. I instantly felt a pit in my stomach because Brianna and Sydney have been together all day. You know when 1 is doing it then they probably both are. Typical mean-girl syndrom...gang up on the one that isn't there.

When I went into Sydney's room to question her about it she said it was only her and Brianna didn't have anything to do with it. I don't know if she's just trying to keep her cousin from getting in trouble or what, but I'm so upset I can't even think straight. Talk about screaming...I jumped all over her for that. I could almost cry.

[missychrissy]

Of course she's grounded too. I'm really upset that she's more pissed about being grounded & only offered to call and apologize if she could get her cell phone back. I hope this isn't an indication of a significant character flaw in Sydney. I was a mean-girl at times too, but never ever did I tease anyone about having a disability.

[daylilies]

That hurts my heart. I'm sure it's not a character flaw but just something that she'll grow out of.

[missychrissy]

I hope you're right Kate. I'm so ashamed of her right now.

[daylilies]

One time when I was around that age there was a special needs (I don't remember, i think she was deaf and blind) girl who I knew but she wasn't in my class. Well for some reason she switched classes and ended up in mine. The teacher said "Does anyone know _____?" looking for someone to help her get to her seat or something. I said no and another classmate of mine totally called me out on it! He said "Yes you do!" I was so embarassed! But I think sometimes at that age disabilities can be scary.

[missychrissy]

I'm sorry Kate, that made me giggle because that seems so unlike you. I hope this is just a case of each girl trying to outdo each other in the insults. Sydney claims Brittany was teasing her about her yellow, crocked teeth with the gap in the front. I said that's no excuse.

I do plan on getting Sydney braces (and they're not yellow!) but I wanted to wait till she'd take care of them on her own. I was thinking 14 or 15.

[daylilies]

Well, it was a very long time ago.

[missychrissy]

It does make me feel better. I think what Sydney did was worse, but she's only 12. I've probably said things and I just don't remember. From what I understand, Brittany herself wasn't as upset about it as her mom was. Becky, my other sister-in-law, actually wanted to cry because it hurt her so bad.

Welcome Monday. I'm still going to try to be more positive...water off a duck's back, right?

[daylilies]

Yep...it's a new week!

The 2012 cruise has been very sneakily announced...Joe and Donnie changed their twitter avatars in the middle of the night and they say Cruise 2012 June 7-11. I wish it had been around May 12 so I wouldn't be tempted to go (I'm in a wedding). And I know DH will be no help. He'll say "Go if you want to, we'll make it work"
Someone talk some sense into me please...

[missychrissy]

Why on earth would you want to be talked out of it? It'll have been a year by then and it's not like you do a whole lot for just yourself. If your dh is ok with it, you're not going to get me to argue!!

[daylilies]

Because I feel bad for going on vacation without DH...again...LOL

And you remember what my mother said She called last night and it came up again. She thinks if you're married you shouldn't do things like that. And she thinks it's immature. I don't want to do it if it's going to make DH upset but I know him, he wouldn't say anything even if it did upset him.

[missychrissy]

I think it's between you and your dh. If it did upset him, then he has to figure out a way to communicate that and find a compromise with you.

I'm trying to get Rich to communicate better too. I did bring up the idea of me taking a weekend away again. He's definitely not into the idea at all but he won't say so nor say why. I can just tell. If he's hurt that I didn't think of suggesting we take a weekend away together I don't know why he doesn't just say so.

I know if I talked about taking the 4 kids with me somewhere he wouldn't have any objection to that.

[daylilies]

Haha! I would totally take Josh if they had a program for kids! He'd have a blast! DH, not so much. He said he'd probably belly up to the bar the whole time.

[daylilies]

I think that if they admit they're hurt by us wanting to get away they will feel like they're holding us back and they don't want to do that. They want us to be happy (hopefully) so they swallow any feelings of their own.

[missychrissy]

Well, if he'd have fun being bellied up to the bar...why not? I don't think couples have to be up each others butts the whole time for both of them to have fun.

[missychrissy]

I think that if they admit they're hurt by us wanting to get away they will feel like they're holding us back and they don't want to do that. They want us to be happy (hopefully) so they swallow any feelings of their own.

Very insightful. You're probably spot on about that. Plus-I'm sure there's an element of pride there too. They don't need us, right?

[daylilies]

i.e. they don't want to be the bad husband and restrict us from doing stuff that makes us happy? Maybe?

[daylilies]

Haha. Yeah. I'm going to have an honest talk with him later. I need to tell him he needs to be straight up with me about how he really feels because if he gives me any ambiguity at all, I'M GOING TO WANT TO GO.

[missychrissy]

I think our husbands have a lot in common. I don't know how yours is with new people, but mine is a little shy. If he can find 1 common interest with the guy though, he's off and running and just as social as can be. I think there's a chance they might actually get along very good. Maybe next summer we'll go camping somewhere near you and set a date at a park or something to meet up. We can watch our sons and dh's interact lol!!

[daylilies]

In-ter-act? LOL

He's very shy around most people if he doesn't know them or feels they have nothing in common. He can talk shop all day with his coworkers, but anybody else and he's lost. I'm very similar.

I'm trying to think what DH would want to talk to Rich about...

[missychrissy]

Why they'd talk about their boys as they followed them around the park (you know, tended to them) and me and you could talk about our husbands!

[daylilies]

True, LOL

[missychrissy]

I personally can be talkative or sit quietly with someone and not be bothered by it. I don't feel like I have to talk every minute I'm with someone.

Actually, when I'm in the car I prefer to be silent. With 3 girls it seems like at least 1 of them wants to chatter and it kinda makes me nuts. I just want to enjoy the scenery.

[daylilies]

I'm the same way. DH wants to talk all the time and he usually fills the space with stories about work or the games he plays. I like to be quiet in the car too. DH calls them awkward silences but I think it's comfortable.

[missychrissy]

Me too, I think it's comfortable.

[daylilies]

I actually have a little twinge of nervousness whenever someone I meet online says they want to hang out IRL. I'm quite chatty online and I'm afraid the 180 difference IRL will bother people.

[missychrissy]

irl I'm definitely quieter. I can get chatty/giggly easy but I'm quiet by nature. When I went to AZ to meet up with ShannonG I had moments of both. Of course, I'd flown all day so I was exhausted but she was absolutely ok with letting me just sit like a lump in her backyard. With kids it's easier...we just watched the two boys (Mikey & Conner) and they were entertainment enough.

[daylilies]

Oh ok cool then I will sit like a lump in your backyard