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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #22381

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    Thanks! Let me know if you think of it, I'm curious now.
    Kara



  2. #22382

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    I will. Maybe I've just seen it in other posts.

  3. #22383
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    Hi, Kara! Are you doing your dissertation in social work? I know that's a very emotionally demanding field. Nice to meet you!

    Chrissy, I look tons of stuff up. I'm always seeing a new kid with a syndrome I've never heard of or something and I have to look it up, too. Or I need to look up a medicine the child is taking or something else in their case history. I can't know all of that just off the top of my head. I use Google, too!

    My odd news for the day is that my author acquaintance I'm fb friends with has tweeted my website to his followers, both on twitter and fb. He has over 4500 facebook friends! He said:

    Words to Grow By is a fascinating blog about language development. Good stuff for writers! (And parents.)
    I'm either flattered or creeped out. Not sure which, but we'll go with flattered!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #22384

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    Hi! Yes, social work. I think you should be totally flattered by that shout out.
    Kara



  5. #22385
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    Maybe someday I'll do a dissertation ... I'd love to but first I want to have a family. And I'll probably end up spending all my money on either infertility or adoption, so I don't see paying for a PhD in my near future! Good luck!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  6. #22386

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    I think it's awesome to get shout outs on twitter because then other random people can retweet it...it really reaches endless amounts of people, I think.


    Kara, I think you remind me of an actress but I can't recall who she is.

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    Totally flattering Mandy! That's really wonderful! Not totally surprising because it's very well written.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #22388

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    I wanted to share with you guys this story Savana and I finished tonight. It's very cool and I think does a fabulous job of talking about death and how it's a part of life and how we as humans are just a small part of the universe. It's also very interactive letting the child choose some of the details. She liked it so much that she asked me if we could read it again so she could choose different details.
    http://www.thegreatstory.org/tree-ta...out-death.html

    I found the story here http://www.thegreatstory.org/kids.html
    Lots of great stuff on here that I am just looking through. Have not had a chance read too much more quite yet.

  9. #22389
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    I just mentioned to Rich, albeit in exasperation, that I thought I'd take a weekend away by myself as soon as we can afford to. He looked at me kinda pissed and said sarcastically, "why?" That was it. I pointed out that lots of women vaca alone and in fact when I originally talked about going to AZ it was only going to be me. Besides that, he's talked himself about taking a hunting trip alone...so what's the difference?

    No matter what point I made, he stayed silent. That equates to him not being happy or agreeable to the idea. I dropped it for now but it's going to happen.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    Bridget, that site looks really cool! I think the story is a great idea and I might want to do that with my kids when they get done with The Hobbit.

    Chrissy, my dh got all quiet when I mentioned taking the twins to Monterrey for an unexpected day off. I kept asking what the problem was, if it was the way I phrased it, if he didn't like the idea, if he thought it would be too expensive, what was the issue, what what what?!!!! And he finally confessed that if there was an issue, which there really wasn't too much of one, it was that I didn't invite him to go along, but since he couldn't go anyway it was silly and really a non-issue. He was just sad to not be going.


  11. #22391
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post
    Most IT people I know use Google on a daily basis to problem-solve.
    I'm not IT and I know some in my field are anti-google......but really I use google in my daily work. Not for something like lit searches but finding articles or books sometimes, incomplete citations, for when I need some background info before searching medline. Pretty much it's used daily....just careful in how I'm using it.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  12. #22392
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    Hi Kara! No dissertations for me! I was lucky enough to not even do a thesis for grad school....course the comprehensive exam was not a walk in the park. I like reading, I like learning....I do not like writing papers. Why I like my job....I can read (if I want and have time) and do research but someone has to write the papers.

    Interesting for me...I found out yesterday that research I did for a nurse actually changed procedure policy and the impact of that is leading to another procedure change....both changes for the better! I did this search last summer and so often I do searches but never find out if they changed anything or went anywhere.

    Mandy I think that is VERY cool!

    My DH would NOT be cool with me going on vacation without him. Course I'm not cool with him going out on vacation without me unless it was something icky like camping. But something fun...nope I want to go to. Though DH and I are both needy clingy people so it's good that we are together. I didn't even like going to a conference for a few days.....

    Got to use the scrapbooking supplies tonight as MIL and I were making up three boards for the funeral tomorrow. They look pretty good I think considering we did them in like 2 hours.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    I'm posting from my phone so sorry for the brief post. Just wanted to say hey to Kara. It's good to see a new face around here.

    And, L. You're reading The Hobbit to your kids! That's so cool. I might try to start reading more interesting things with Travis!

  14. #22394
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    I'm posting from my phone so sorry for the brief post. Just wanted to say hey to Kara. It's good to see a new face around here.

    And, L. You're reading The Hobbit to your kids! That's so cool. I might try to start reading more interesting things with Travis!

  15. #22395

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    Neat that your phone makes two of everything, Ash.

    Hi, Kara! Where in NE are you from? And I love the name, Paloma. So pretty. Can I confess that the name Kara makes me think immediately of Sweet Valley High (she was a character in the series).

    On solo traveling, that's my favorite. DH hemmed & hawed when I told him I wanted to take 1 last big intl trip before trying for bodhi, but didn't try to stop me. I wanted to go to Tanzania, but my airline miles wouldn't get me there, so I went to Argentina, Chile & Brazil instead. The first two countries was mostly hiking in Patagonia, but Brazil was spent at a surf camp. I met the neatest people from everywhere and had the funnest time surfing in the day and dancing at night. I was based in this little fishing village called Itacare, and arrived the last 2 days of Carnaval. I rented a bike to get around. half the town was cobblestone and the other (touristy/ex-pat) half was dirt roads. I had a two day "vibe" (for lack of a better term) going w/ a Turkish French guy, and we had some good conversations, even better dancing together. He & his Indian English partner were owners of a biotech firm based in Hong Kong, but were expanding the operations to Brazil. They were just taking a week off to learn to surf. And there was the token psycho chick in our group who was engaged tombe married in two months but sleeping with every guy who paddled past her. I was just thankful that I seemed nice and normal by comparison. (I've been the psycho random traveler chick - minus the uber-sluttiness - on previous travels). There was the German journalist chick and the Canadian ex-pat girl who owned the bar above the surf school and was hardcore into jiujitsu. (She went on to marry one of my favorite surf instructors, and their baby is just gorgeous). Then there was a host of Euro guys who told goofy jokes and wore speedos. Finally, the hot dreadlocked surf teachers rounded out the crew. This is so embarrassing to admit, but when we all arrived on the beach, I felt like the "cool kids". All eyes were on us and envying our good time. That's probably why I have such positive memories of my time there. Also the beach we surfed at the most was a 20 minute hike w/ our boards thru the jungle (actually Atlantic rainforest, but what most people imagine when they think jungle) and I'd just put on my headphones and schlepp my board. It was crazy hard to get back to real life with hubby and desk job after leaving that.

    So that was the long rambling lead-in to the fact that I was supposed to drive to LA alone the weekend, just me & Bodhi , but DH invited himself along.

    The reason I'm reminiscing so hard at 1am is that I had a craptacular day today. The boss piled on all this stuff for me to take care of in his two week absence, and he is so light on the training. I always find out he knows something he should've told me. So I'm not excited about the next 2 weeks. People are just throwing stuff at me, that I'm gonna have to teach myself how to do in addition to doing. And in my overwhelmed state, I made a very public, very stupid mistake of reading "we do want to..." as "we don't want to" and had to fix things from that point on. I'm definitely in over my head. I usually am, but that doesn't make it nervewracking.

    Kate, do you cook from scratch most meals? What's one of your favorite recipes?

    Gwenn, it sounds like a nice compliment. Very nice of him to promote your blog. do you have new entries coming down the pipeline?

  16. #22396

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    Myles, I do mostly cook from scratch. I used to make hamburger helper and other boxed meals a lot because DH liked them but they're so horrible for you and really not that good and I can make the same thing from scratch so I weaned him off them. It's hard though, with Josh being kind of picky and DH not getting home until well after we eat dinner, so it has to be reheatable. For that reason I love to make soups and stews.

    I usually make chili at least a couple times during the colder months, chicken noodle soup, beef stew, etc. I would like to make more interesting dishes but DH is kind of picky as well and fancier meals are kind of lost on him.

    Actually I have a story that kind of pissed me off about my cooking. I had made home made mac and cheese one day, I swore DH said he liked it last time, so I was all proud and he got home and looked a little nonplussed and said "I would have rather had the bbq beef" (this Jack Daniel's brand shredded beef I get from the grocery store). I was so hurt.

    As for the vacation...I was very lucky DH let me go on the cruise and I realize that. Almost everyone he told about it asked him how he could let me do that. He just knew it would make me happy. He does expect a nice swanky vacation for the two of us in return someday, though.

  17. #22397

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    I didnt want that last post to get too long, but I wanted to say thanks to Bridget to sharing that site. And how cool about the Hobbit, L! I only read that myself a few years ago! LOL

    I just finished reading Stuart Little to Josh and he really liked it so I got Winnie the Pooh out of the library and he likes that too. I had no idea he was ready for chapter books already. I know he doesn't understand a lot of it but he seems to like it a lot anyway.

  18. #22398
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    Myles. I'm sure you'll muddle your way through the mess your boss left you. And I bet everyone is in on his quirk about not giving all pertinent information so I'd try not to stress about asking questions if you need to (listen to me-IT geek who's afraid to Google at her maybe-new-job! )

    I'm 99% sure Rich's silence was out of not wanting me to go. He'd never tell me no, for one, and that's his way of disagreeing with me. Silence. When I talked about going to AZ without him or the kids it was a totally different response. He was supportive and thought it would be a good thing. I am still rather taken aback that his first response to me mentioning getting away was "why?" It's not like we never talked about that before and I've definitely traveled with the kids without him. I think it stems from him being stressed too and our relationship not being on the most solid ground so the thought of me leaving, even for just 2 or 3 days, freaked him out a little.

    There's a very slight chance that he was thinking that he'd like to go wherever with me...but honestly, he's just like another child to me and that's what I want to escape--I want to leave everyone and everything that I have to 'take care of' for just a couple days. That would include him.

    If we went somewhere, I'd pick where, when, what we'd eat, what we'd see. I'd even plan the map and tell him where to park. I have nothing like that left in me. I just want him to start making some decisions himself. Even the little ones. Goodness-if he could plan an entire vacation for us himself...ah, the thought is almost like a sexual fantasy for me. It'll never happen.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #22399
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    I am not reading The Hobbit - dh is. I read them Little House in the Big Woods and Little House on the Prairie, and once dh heard that they were okay and paying attention to those, he got all excited and built up excitement about The Hobbit to them, so much that they started clamoring about 'the dragon book' halfway through Little House on the Prairie, so I had to stop and let dh do bedtime and storytime to them. Yesterday dd was telling me that ds had a gold tooth.

    They don't understand everything, not by far, but the things they stop and ask questions about are not the things that I would expect. And most of the time I just keep reading along and I figure they'll understand more the next time I read the book.

    Jennifer, I forgot about you as a resource! I'm terrible about doing literature searches in the medical field. I am trying to get a policy changed. Right now we have to start IVs on people with ports (implantable ports, which is a subset of central venous catheters) unless they have a chest x-ray to confirm placement of the device within the past month. These people have ports because they have to get chemotherapy or some other frequent IV solution over long periods of time and are probably difficult to stick. They get their chemo all the time in another department without a chest x-ray. They go in every week or every two weeks, get their solution through their port, and go home. But then they come to us and we tell them we can't use their port. It's a huge dissatisfier. Part of the problem is that we are considered an inpatient unit because we're part of the hospital, so we have to follow inpatient policies (thus the chest x-ray) but most of our patients are outpatients. I don't even know where to begin looking to back up my reasons for not getting a chest x-ray. Can you help?

    ETA: I realize this is your job, so if you don't want to do something unpaid, feel free to tell me no thanks!

    ETAA: I think baby ds is finally weaned, so I need to change my ticker but I have to remember how to do it.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 08-11-2011 at 07:23 AM.


  20. #22400

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    All of you talking about going on vacation alone is making me question myself. Dbf has decided to go to the wedding of an old "friend" in NY. (He has had nothing good to say about the man for the past 2 years. So...frienemy?) He made this decision to go after I told him that I didn't want him to go and that if he goes it will stress me out and I will worry the whole time he is gone. So I am just totally heartbroken that after telling him that he decided to go anyway. It's like he absolutely has no regard for my feelings.

    This friend was his partner in crime in HI, lots of drinking and inappropriate behavior which obviously you guys are aware of was all with this guy. They (meaning the entire wedding party-bridesmaids/groomsmen) are all staying in a house together for the weekend. Knowing this guy like I do, I know it will just be a big party and it makes me very, very uneasy. He knows how I feel and he's going anyway.

    I am so sad.

  21. #22401
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    Bridget, your scenario is totally different. None of us have gone or are ever planning on going off with someone that led us to having an affair. That's a huge difference.

    And I will say that while I'm not happy with Rich's attitude about my possibly going away on my own, I wouldn't do it if he was dead set against it. It might cause problems for us because imo he'd need valid reasons, like yours, for not wanting me to go.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #22402
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3andMe View Post


    Jennifer, I forgot about you as a resource! I'm terrible about doing literature searches in the medical field. I am trying to get a policy changed. Right now we have to start IVs on people with ports (implantable ports, which is a subset of central venous catheters) unless they have a chest x-ray to confirm placement of the device within the past month. These people have ports because they have to get chemotherapy or some other frequent IV solution over long periods of time and are probably difficult to stick. They get their chemo all the time in another department without a chest x-ray. They go in every week or every two weeks, get their solution through their port, and go home. But then they come to us and we tell them we can't use their port. It's a huge dissatisfier. Part of the problem is that we are considered an inpatient unit because we're part of the hospital, so we have to follow inpatient policies (thus the chest x-ray) but most of our patients are outpatients. I don't even know where to begin looking to back up my reasons for not getting a chest x-ray. Can you help?

    ETA: I realize this is your job, so if you don't want to do something unpaid, feel free to tell me no thanks!

    Are you familiar with the Iowa model? That is what we use for EBP. the best place to start is to form your PICO (bad me, I forgot exactly what that stands for....think that it's population, intervention....something and maybe outcome?). I'm off work until Monday otherwise I could look it up quickly...I don't have access from home to our resources. I will come back to this Monday. I have found a lot of times with policies that they are just done that way because it's always been done that way....not that there is great evidence for that way over something else.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #22403
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    No, I'm not familiar with any of that. Iowa or PICO, and this is something we've been wanting to do something about for years and more urgently for months but I don't ever get time at work to do things that aren't direct patient care anymore, so I can't do it at work and obv. I don't prioritize spending a bunch of unpaid time at home doing stuff for work if they won't do anything for me anymore. We were told a while ago there was no way to change the policy, but a few months ago were told that if we present any research to one of the anesthesiologists, we could develop a policy for our own department. We just don't get time to do it. Already we spend an hour unpaid after work every day catching up on stuff.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 08-11-2011 at 09:22 AM.


  24. #22404

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    Bridget that was an awesome website!

  25. #22405

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    Is this the trip you were telling us he was thinking about a while back Bridget? I'm sorry he decided to go against your wishes.


    If DH had really been uncomfortable with me going on the cruise I wouldn't have gone. I would have been very sad...but I wouldn't go. But it was comforting to him that there would only be a handful of guys and most of them would either be gay or with a woman on the boat already ;) We did wonder if the crew members picked up any girls though.

  26. #22406

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    He keeps saying he wishes he was in a relationship with trust.
    Well, of course. So do I. I wish I wouldn't stress out and worry but I will.
    Can't change it now. Tickets are bought. I'm not going to wallow in misery over it.

  27. #22407

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    Yeah but does he understand he has to earn trust?

    Anyway. I don't want to beat a dead horse either.

  28. #22408
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    I'm sorry, Bridget. That would be really upsetting.

    DH and I have never vacationed apart from each other since getting married. We've had an odd day apart every now and then; he went to Amsterdam for his BIL's bachelor party and I've had a spa day with my SIL and MIL but that's about it. I don't think we'd ever do anything apart like a recreational holiday....we don't have many close friends and are both really quiet people, so we mostly just enjoy each other's company.

  29. #22409
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Yeah but does he understand he has to earn trust?

    Anyway. I don't want to beat a dead horse either.
    Agreed. Especially with the bolded part.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #22410
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    I remember that potential trip also, Bridget, and I wouldn't be happy either. I would not be happy about him going in the first place, and I wouldn't be happy about him disregarding my feelings about it. But you're right, what can you do about it now?

    My dh frequently tacks on a few extra days to his business trips and he always apologizes to me about it. He feels badly about spending the extra money and about having a nice few days on his own, doing something we would both enjoy but only he gets to do, but that is pretty much the main perk of his job. He asks every time if I'm okay with it.


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