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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #21871
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    Thanks.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  2. #21872
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    Eeek! I hope you're better soon, Mandy. Being sick is not cool. I had a glass of wine and am watching some WWE wrestling to chill out.

  3. #21873
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Yes, but you can document your attempt to pay. If you're worried, perhaps you should contact them first thing on Monday with your concerns and ask if you can head that off before it happens.
    I know. I'm trying not to worry any more about this. It's just one more thing on my already full plate, ya know?

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Ugh. I've had such a crap Saturday today. I hope tomorrow is a better day. We're taking Travis to see Cars 2 and then on Monday, we're off to see Slash, so this week's got to get better, right?


    Hope you guys feel better.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #21874
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I know. I'm trying not to worry any more about this. It's just one more thing on my already full plate, ya know?
    I totally get that your plate is full. I'd be panicking about it, too.

    Remember that thread about Lady Gaga in the wheelchair? I was telling DH about it and he showed me this. I laughed so hard! Kind of goes to show it's just people's reactions to Lady Gaga and not the wheelchair!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #21875
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    Remember that thread about Lady Gaga in the wheelchair? I was telling DH about it and he showed me this. I laughed so hard! Kind of goes to show it's just people's reactions to Lady Gaga and not the wheelchair!
    Too funny!!! No one every complained when Midler did it!!

    I love Lady Gaga. Not sure why. Some would say I have no class...could be. I couldn't care less!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #21876
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    I love Bette Midler's tweet! That was too funny! And you're right, nobody ever complained about her.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #21877

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    I have a week off work and I'm just mind boggled at all the things I want to go out and do with the kids since we won't be confined to the house!

  8. #21878
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    Woo hoo Bridget!! Did you schedule this off yourself, or did it just work out that everyone else is on vaca this week at the same time? What all are you gonna do?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #21879
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    Ooh, that sounds great! Have a great time!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #21880
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    Did you see a chiropractor yet Bridget?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #21881
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    Did you see a chiropractor yet Bridget?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #21882

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    Thanks for asking, Chrissy. I did. He took some xrays and showed me exactly where the problem is, said the bones in my neck are actually curving the wrong way but he is confident he can realign me. I am also waiting on a referral to see a headache specialist just to be sure there is nothing else going on. On friday I had such a bad one that I woke up in the middle of night and was just standing at the kitchen crying. Dbf came in and I told him I seriously wanted to jump off a bridge at the thought of going through another day with that pain. But luckily when I woke up it was gone. And I know I got it in the first place because Sawyer was awake and while waiting for him to fall back to sleep, I sort of curled in a ball at the foot of the bed and fell asleep that way. I CAN'T do that! I have to sleep on my neck pillow, flat on my back.

    It just so happens that both of the families I've been caring for for years now had to end care abruptly due to job loss/layoffs. They are likely coming back but either way I'm taking a week to reorganize and then I will start recruiting families. There was a faint glimmer of hope that I might get to take a really long break and just focus on schooling my own children and taking them on adventures but just when I started to get excited about the idea, dbf got all weird about it and turned it into a "who works harder" argument that I couldn't stomach, so I shelved it.

  13. #21883

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    I'm glad there's some progress with your chiro Sorry about losing those families though, that's sad I hope they can come back soon.

  14. #21884
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    I'm glad you're seeing the chiro and I hope he can get you some relief fast. I can't believe you were crying in the kitchen. That just breaks my heart.

    How sad for those families. at dbf. I swear Bridget I don't know how you put up with him. I'm not a violent person but I'm pretty sure if I had to live with him I would cuff him upside his head.

    I have a busy day cleaning our old place and shampooing all the carpets. Almost all the rooms are carpeted. Ugh. But it needs to be done and hopefully the inside will be finished today. Next weekend we're getting Conner's wooden swing set and trampoline. We also have to get my kitty because she's been taking off and won't come near Rich or Tim when they're up there.

    Oh, funny unrelated to anything story: Rich went to put the windows up on his truck last night around midnight. It's pitch black here and he opened his door to reach in and turn the key on (they're electric windows) and 'something' leapt out of the truck, landing on his chest, and ran/clawed it's way over his should and down his arm. It ran away...Rich shouted "WTF?!" and I turned to look and see him sorta dancing/spinning in the driveway. That's all I saw. He was like, "Something just got me!" I thought he meant something bit him. It took a minute to get what happened out of him. I'm glad he didn't scream like a girl-I woulda peed my pants (after I knew he was ok). Welcome home?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #21885

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    OMG Chrissy! What do you think it was? that would scare the pee out of me.

  16. #21886

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    Too bad about your daycare families Bridget. Really, I would ignore your DBF and go ahead and take some time and spend with the kids. If he wanted to bring up money or working harder, I would ignore him. I agree with Chrissy and I would want to smack him upside of the head!! I would even tell him that (which I do to my DH) that when he says such idiotic things and attempts to make everything a competition, I want to smack him upside the head. I think my DH has finally gotten it through his skull that I do not want to compete with him in anything and I don't give a crap about what he does at work versus home versus anything else. Please don't shelve your idea unless it is for a valid reason, not your BF being idiotic and argumentative.

    Chrissy, so sorry about your mortgage payment. I hope they will see the stamp with the date that shows you were not late. I know here we can go into the branch and pay, maybe if you spoke with a branch manager (if you haven't already) they can clear up the whole mess for you without too much trouble. And I also wonder what the animal was on your DH. Honestly, I probably would have been laughing seeing my DH dance with a critter LOL! My DH would have screamed though. He is pretty chicken about stuff like that.

    DH is thinking of becoming an urban farmer. I got a promotion and raise recently (regarding that email I told you ladies about some time ago) so we will have enough for him to try to start something part time. DH is a country boy at heart and really I think it would be good for him. He has been at his job for about 7 years and works as a bankruptcy clerk for the federal trustee and really that sounds important but it is very boring. I would never want to do what he is doing and I like low-key jobs. He thinks it is ridiculous that I have been in my job less than year and now make significantly more than he does. He doesn't feel valued and really I think they don't value him either so he is looking into getting a plot and doing SPIN farming part time for a while to see how it goes. There are vacant lots in our neighborhood for $2K. I'm sure we can talk them into $500 since we live in such an undesirable neighborhood and not many people want to buy anything over here. I also think it would be good for the neighborhood and could potentially provide jobs to a lot of the good people around here without employment. But we will see.

    Erin

  17. #21887

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    I'm back! And my name changed while I was gone. I don't know if I will get used to it

    Chile was amazing and beautiful, but also maddening and frustrating. The main problem we had was a cultural indifference to lines - they don't sort themselves in an orderly fashion at all, but mill about and casually step ahead if they see an opening, etc. It was driving me NUTS, especially when we were in the ski lift lines.

    The drive up to the hotel in the Andes took about ten years off my life - I have never been so terrified of a mountain road. We passed two wrecks and one incident where paramedics were giving CPR to a guy (heart attack maybe?). I cannot express to you how tweaked out I was when we finally got there - I had to take half a clonopin (sp?) and lie down to try to calm down, but I was having trouble breathing and my heart would randomly start pounding out of my chest since we were at such a high altitude so my nap didn't work out very well. I didn't really feel okay until the next day. There wasn't much snow, and one of the lifts was broken so we were only able to ski about 25% of the mountain - such a disappointment, but what was there was fun to ski.

    We stayed at two beautiful old hotels- the first was Casa Real, an old mansion that has been converted into a little B&B - I think it was one of the most beautiful places we have ever stayed. I felt like I was on a movie set the whole time. I would love to see it in the summer.

    It was fun, but I am tired - we just got home after traveling since 1 p.m. yesterday. I am too tired to do anything, but don't want to lie down because then I will be down for the count. Maybe I should try to go to the gym...

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  18. #21888
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    That sounds so cool, Katy! (Love the new screen name!) Did you take any pictures to share on here or FB? It's always interesting to see what cultural differences are when you go somewhere new....like here, people just are happy to stand in line all day with slow customer service whereas I'm shouting inside, "could we frackin' move, people, or what?!"

    Erin, that urban farming sounds pretty cool. I hope your DH can do something like that. There's nothing worse than being in a job that sucks the soul outta ya.

    Today has been such a better day than yesterday. The weather was much better, too. We took Travis to the movies to see Cars 2. He loved the whole experience (but I think his favorite bit was getting to eat M&M's and popcorn!) We then went to the pub for a full Sunday dinner and then the rest of the day in the back yard soaking up the sun.....such a great day.

  19. #21889
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    Erin, the bank isn't local to us. It's EMC and they have offices all over the country...just not in NY apparently. I think we normally send our mortgage payment to TX, but the 'delinquency office" is in Ohio. One branch does not know what the other is doing. I'm scared to Google customer reviews for EMC Mortgage 'cause the last time I did I read one nightmare after another. I'm just going to pretend to myself that everything will be fine. Till proven otherwise (like a foreclosure notice).

    Katy, your trip sounds fantastic-except the ride up the mountain! Yikes! I'd love to see some pictures of it.

    Ash, I'm glad today was better. As far as waiting in line, I don't get impatient with that. Well, not normally. I remember one time I was trying to buy heals to go to a funeral because mine broke on my way there and the lady at the store felt it was more important to arrange all her bags before she rang me out. It was hard not to snap at her.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #21890
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    Oh-and my brother in law came over this morning & wired our hot water heater!!! I'm so happy!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #21891

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    Sooo, I have a potentially embarassing situation and because I'm pretty socially inept I thought I would run it past you guys. Today I went to pick up DH at his friend's house and I met his wife and we hung out for a while as the guys were finishing up their game. We got along great. When I got home I found that I had gotten my period I'm worried that I might have left a little stain on her fabric covered barstool I sat on her husband's couch in the basement too. Should I say something (I got her facebook name today) or what?

  22. #21892

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    Yay for the hot water heater Chrissy!

  23. #21893
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    Katy, that hotel looks amazing!

    Chrissy, yay for hot water!

    Kate, I would be too embarrassed to say anything, but I'm also socially inept so you might not want to take my advice.

    Erin, that's cool about the urban farming. Let us know how it goes if he decides to do that. There's nothing more depressing than a job you hate.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #21894

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    I'm just going to be so pissed if I messed up a potential friendship before it started! I even got her to agree she'd go with me to a nkotb concert if I'd go with her to see the guy from Staind

  25. #21895
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    Oh Kate that's terrible! And absolutely something that would happen to me. I'm not sure how I'd handle it. Maybe if you end up chatting with her 'live' and the conversation is fun and light I'd bring it up. But then again...why? What if you did mess something? Are you going to offer to go over and clean it up? I mean, I'm sure it's already been taken care of.

    My neighbor guy stopped up and we had a nice visit. He's going to excavate our back yard but it won't be till this fall. I'm very relieved about this.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #21896

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    Erin! How exciting that your dh wants to be an urban farmer. That sounds so great to me and he is lucky to have you, such a supportive partner.

    Chrissy, wtf kind of creature was that? Your description gave me the chills!

    Kate, I would not say anything but I for sure do not follow the rules of social ettiquette so maybe i'm wrong too but I just can't imagine a way to bring that up. I'm sorry it happened though, that really bites. But I can say without hesitation that if I met a woman that I liked and after she left I found a stain like that, it would not make me feel any differently about her.

    I am going to take my time and do my thing with the daycare. I actually mentioned to dbf that I might just take part time kids so that I can have some more free time to take the kids out to do things and he still gave me a hard time about that even. I told him he was very unsupportive and he should be ashamed of himself since I have always supported him and his ways and never pressured him to take any work he didn't want to.
    Today I took the kids to my dads and dbf said he needed to stay home to finish the roof on his boathouse. This was after I had asked him to come since I needed to grocery shop on the way home and of course that's easier with help. But I didn't ask twice. He stayed behind and me and the kids had a nearly perfect day. They were so well behaved and fun. Then we come home to dbf half drunk and the boathouse roof looking no different. Apparently him and his buddy "unloaded some stuff" or whatever I honestly don't have the energy nor inclination to care. He's so annoying when he's been drinking that I cannot even stand it. And the kids don't like him like that either. He has this really fakey, sickly sweet way of talking that makes my skin crawl.
    Last edited by Bridget; 07-24-2011 at 08:20 PM.

  27. #21897

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    I'm sorry, Bridget. I know exactly the tone you mean and it is like nails on a chalkboard - every syllable sounds like a lie.

    Chrissy - I hope your mortgage stuff works out without issues. You deserve a break.

    Gwenn, I hope you get the answers you need to make progress.

    Erin - that sounds like a great idea! I have a friend who is starting a farm here - it is a combination hydroponic and fish farm, where the fish are part of the eco-system and the plants are grown in water so that there is no soil and no need to water anything or plow or do anything but grow vegetables in big tanks of water. I don't know much about it, but it sounds interesting!

    Myles - I'm sorry about your boss. It is so hard to not look incompetent when you aren't given all the info you need. I know you can figure out a way to work within that, but it sucks that you have to spend your time on that rather than work. I think that is one of the reasons why I hate working in offices - I just cannot stand dealing with co-workers and bosses.

    Kate - I would not bring it up with your new friend at all ever, unless you get to be really good friends and ten years down the road after several glasses of wine you can fess up. Otherwise you are looking to make it a really awkward situation.

    I hope I haven't forgotten anyone. If so, I will try to catch up more later...

    I will try to post some photos tomorrow, but if you want to take a look in the meantime, here's a link to my flickr gallery: http://www.flickr.com/photos/katyegg...7627273836754/

    Nightie-night!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  28. #21898

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    kate, I personally would suck it up and say - with as much composure as possible - that I'm sorry if I stained a piece of your furniture today because I'd found some on myself when I got home. That way, if there was something left behind, you're owning up to it and can offer to help correct it in whatever way you agree, and if she says she didn't find a stain, you can just be vague about the source of the stain you were talking about. But then again, I tend to sometimes make people feel uncomfortable with the things I bring out into the open, so perhaps I'm not the best person to prescribe the "appropriate" thing to do. I guess I'd just do it for the sake of my own karma/peace of mind.

    I confess, right now, in the background I am listening to, and not even looking at, this guy's YouTube channel. He was a guy I was kind of obsessed with my senior year of college that I sort of went out with, if you could call it that. He was all kinds of messed up, but charismatic, and in those "experimental" days, I mistook his confusion for some other intriguing quality and imagined he might have something to teach me. (Not that I had my head on straight back then either.) I'm reading this novel right now tells a pretty similar story, and it is stirring up a lot of emotions about our relationship. In a nutshell --- and this is the first time I'm saying this with any sort of conviction --- the first time we did it was not consensual, though not the least bit violent. And instead of reading him the riot act like I should have...what did I do? I tried to make a relationship work with him for a good 7+ months...as if that was going to redefine what happened the first time. Anyway, the guy was just this emotional cripple whom - I'm embarrassed to say - I cared for and I let manipulate me, partly because I'm way too tolerant of extreme personalities and partly because I had no self-esteem back then. Watching him now, his YouTube videos are completely unintelligible. I mean, they can't even hold my full attention after all these years because they're so nonsensical. After years of experiences with other people's psychoses, I recognize his ramblings now as the product of a severely psychologically disturbed mind. It's kind of carthartic to see him today and just be able to wave him off as a sick individual and a stupid mistake on my part, but... I gotta confess... some of it still feels raw even after 16 years. I think I'll feel better after I finish my book, but - wow - I didn't really expect to be revisiting these feelings (and Googling/FB-searching the source of them right now). I am hoping I just get some healthy perspective after all is said and done. The thing that sticks out to me tonight, though, is that I dated at least 4 other guys as broken, self-centered and toxic to me as this guy was. I guess you do have to kiss a few frogs before meeting your prince, but... do they have to be poisonous frogs?

    To put that all in perspective, a good friend of mine lost her baby girl last Friday night. 2 weeks ago, she had a placental abruption at 28 weeks and an emergency C-section. I visited her in the hospital last Wednesday, and at that time, all seemed optimistic. The baby was drinking a lot of colostrum and had good vitals. Then they found out about a catastrophic brain bleed she suffered at birth, and they made the difficult decision to let her pass. (Steve & I both discussed this and agreed we would lean towards the other decision, but we're not judging her, especially not having been in their shoes.) To make matters even more sad, this is the 2nd baby girl she lost, as the first one, in 2005, was a stillbirth when her placenta abrupted again only 10 days before her due date. I have had the blues on and off today, thinking about it. We visited them today, as they're sitting shiva until tomorrow. My friend was as pail as a ghost and cried on her friends' shoulders the whole time we were there. It just makes me thankful overall for the multitude of ways I've been blessed until now.

    I guess to tie the last 2 paragraphs together, I should just be grateful, that I was able to step away from guys like the YouTube rambler I used to date, that - for whatever reason, whether it was a hunch or just the fact that I wasn't interesting enough to be brought along - I never ended up down the same rabbit hole as them. So because it all went down the way it did, I now have a truly decent husband and this amazing kid. And maybe if Mr. YouTube and company hadn't been so effed up, I wouldn't have been ready to appreciate how sweet and cool my DH is. OK, I'm starting to sound cheesy here, but it's all from the heart.

    Happy Monday, ladies.

  29. #21899

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    Enough about me...

    Chrissy, how are things with your payment?

    Katy - welcome back. I know the disorderly lack of lines you refer to, and it is so maddening! But I hope you post some pictures soon. It sounds so beautiful.

    Erin, I hope your DH really gives it a go. It would be so great for your kids to grow up with farming, and I'll bet he could really take off with it. Farmers' Markets and coops are such a big "thing" nowadays, that there's bound to be an increasing demand for local fresh grown products in your area.

    Mandy, I hope you feel better.

    Bridget, I'm glad your chiro work has progressed.
    Last edited by demigraf; 07-25-2011 at 10:51 AM.

  30. #21900

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    3andme! Take care of the spammer!

    I was thinking about it last night and when I went back to the basement to look for my purse I didn't see a stain on their cream colored couch. So I hope if I did leave a stain on the dark blue barstool later, it is really tiny.

    Well I just saw she confirmed me as a friend on facebook so it must be all good

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