Secular Confessions

[girlwonder]

Okay, guys. Radio silence from me for the next week starting tomorrow - we are leaving to go skiing in Chile! Woohoooo!

I am worried about leaving JoJo here, though I know she is in good hands. I am worried we are going to crash into the Andes because we have all seen the movie about that, right? I really do worry about both of us dying in a plane crash, but I know that our wills are in order so there is that, right? I am worried about the volcano erupting again and the riots in Santiago turning ugly, but there is no advisory on the state department website so I guess it is okay. I'm such a worrywart and secretly not a great traveler. I am fine once I am there, but the travel part and the preparation make me insane.

[Gwenn]

I love to travel, but I absolutely hate being on an airplane, so I can relate. I hope you have a lovely trip.

[daylilies]

I'm the same way Katy...I hate packing and meeting flights, etc. Have a great trip!

[Smplyme89]

christina, I'm just curious, what brought about the change? Was it anything in particular (besides motherhood)? And did you use any particular techniques to control your responses? I think it's very admirable in any case.

Actually it was DH. In our first year of marriage I went through some doubts and insecurities about our relationship. I put DH through ALOT for quite a few months. Things that I probably would've left for-if the roles had been reversed. After him sticking by me and alot of self reflection I realized that I was an angry person, and I didn't want to be that person anymore. I was letting the way I was raised (by a verbally and emotionally abusive father) effect my relationship with my husband. I still struggle with those deep seeded feelings on a daily basis. It hasn't been easy, but my marriage was worth it. It took watching DH fall apart during that first year of our marriage to make me realize what a completely horrible person I was being to him. It was not his fault that my father was a lazy abusive a$$hole (excuse the language)

I refuse to allow the way my childhood went to dictate how I was going to live the rest of my life. That is what my father had done to me and all I was doing was continuing down that same path. It pains me everytime I think of what I put poor DH through, because of my own issues. DH has made some changes as well. It wasn't one day I flipped a switch and went off the wall, I went through months and months of telling him that I was not happy, I was depressed, I didn't feel loved, and he just acted like I was over exaggerating and never helped me "deal" with those feelings.

It was a really bad period in our relationship and it still amazes me that he stuck by me and we have honestly come out the other end with a stronger relationship that I could ever imagine we would have. Communication became the key for us. I know I have alot of depression/anxiety issues and now DH realizes they are real as well. So, whenever I need to go on my rant and just talk about the stresses I feel (like last night ) DH actually listens. Even when theres nothing either one of us can do about it, it is still nice to just get it out sometimes. It just took sometime for him to understand that I couldn't just let things roll off my shoulders the way he can. Have I mentioned I have an amazing husband

Anywho, sorry did not mean for this to turn into a novel. You probably didn't want my life story

[AmeriBrit]

Double post

[AmeriBrit]

Christina, your DH does sound like a good'n! I know what you mean about childhood influencing your whole life. I always think of Philip Larkin's "This be the Verse" when I talk about childhood issues. My parents weren't abusive but negligent instead. They were the kind of people who had kids because that's what people did, not because they wanted kids. My Dh is a good'n too and had a dream childhood that I am jealous of.

Katy, I hope you have an amazing trip. Enjoy yourself! I used to dread flying but now i'm like 'whatever happens, happens.' and I locate the emergency exits and tell myself i'll get out if there's an emergency.

[girlwonder]

Yes, Ash - I think I am the only person on the plane who actually reads the card in the seat back pocket. I count the rows to all exits so if it is dark or smoky I can still find my way out. I read somewhere that refreshing your memory every time you fly will make it more likely that you will do what you need to do to survive since it is high up in your memory - no wasting time trying to recall. And we usually sit as close to the exit row as we can.

My dad died in a plane crash, so I am always hyper-aware that anything can happen. The only time I feel a little panicky is on take-off and landing (and this time, flying over the Andes).

I still don't pay attention to the flight attendant though.

[AmeriBrit]

Oh, wow, Katy. I didn't know that about your dad. I'm so sorry. Was he a pilot or was he on a commercial plane? We fly over the Atlantic ocean and the Med. Sea a lot and I always feel better when we're over land.

[girlwonder]

He crashed his own plane a while back. He really liked to fly, though, so that has to be some consolation. He would have hated to die old and sick in a hospital. We know it was quick and he died instantly.

[Gwenn]

I'm so sorry, Katy.

[missychrissy]

Oh Katy I think your fears of flying are absolutely justified. I mean, anyone's would be but yours especially so. I hope you have a phenomenal trip. I can't imagine skiing this time of year! Hope you share pics with us when you get back!!

Christina-I was a snot to my dh when we were first together. It took us years to get over the worst of it. He has this one coffee cup that has a hairline crack in it (doesn't leak) that he likes to be smug about 'cause I'd whipped it at his head once. Missed his head and cracked against the wall. I was a terror. Like you, I decided I didn't want my kids in that environment and worked very hard to get over all that.

Every once in a while I feel that devil in me rear up, but I save it for special occasions. Now people that know me in recent years are floored if/when they see me let loose verbally on someone.

[Smplyme89]

Katy I am sorry about your dad. There is something wonderful about dieing doing what you love though

[daylilies]

Sorry about your dad Katy (although you probably won't want to scroll back through goodness knows how many pages to see this, after a week...)

Yesterday Josh and I went to my cousin's college graduation party. It was fun and we were going to leave around 6 pm to make the 2+ hour drive back home. Mom offered to let us stay at our house overnight so that cut about half an hour off our time this morning, and there was no traffic so we made good time.

The party was great, they have an above ground pool and Josh wouldn't go in but he sat and played on a raft with his cousin for a long time. Then he made friends with two little girls and played with them for a long time too.

[daylilies]

Sorry about your dad Katy (although you probably won't want to scroll back through goodness knows how many pages to see this, after a week...)

Yesterday Josh and I went to my cousin's college graduation party. It was fun and we were going to leave around 6 pm to make the 2+ hour drive back home. Mom offered to let us stay at our house overnight so that cut about half an hour off our time this morning, and there was no traffic so we made good time.

The party was great, they have an above ground pool and Josh wouldn't go in but he sat and played on a raft with his cousin for a long time. Then he made friends with two little girls and played with them for a long time too.

[missychrissy]

I'm glad you had a great time Kate. I love how Josh makes friends so easy. Conner does too.

My brother took him to the park last week and Conner approached another little boy while doing his t-rex impersonation. Tim said he had a moment of anxiety thinking the other kid would be "What's wrong with you? Are you developmentally disabled or something?" Conner kinda hunches over and lifts his knees really high and walks on his tip-toes, curling his arms and hands when he's T-rex. He walked up to the boy, 'growled' and said, "I'm a T-rex" and the boy said, "I'm a pirate!" and they both went off playing together for the entire afternoon-each being their own character and not questioning the other.

Tim said the mom was pretty cute and they talked a bit while the boys played. Mom is single. I said, 'Oh great, you're going to start using my son to pick up single moms in the park now?'

[AmeriBrit]

Lol. Chrissy, that is cute! It's great that Connor and Josh make friends so easily! Travis is more of a loner right now but I think that might be due to just being 3. But my dh and I are more solitary people.

[missychrissy]

I think Conner has it so easy because he has 3 older sisters and they've always had their friends in and out of the house. Of course they've all been older teen/tween girls and absolutely adored him so he just assumes everyone in the world will.

[Ky'sMom]

I'm glad you had a great time Kate. I love how Josh makes friends so easy. Conner does too.

My brother took him to the park last week and Conner approached another little boy while doing his t-rex impersonation. Tim said he had a moment of anxiety thinking the other kid would be "What's wrong with you? Are you developmentally disabled or something?" Conner kinda hunches over and lifts his knees really high and walks on his tip-toes, curling his arms and hands when he's T-rex. He walked up to the boy, 'growled' and said, "I'm a T-rex" and the boy said, "I'm a pirate!" and they both went off playing together for the entire afternoon-each being their own character and not questioning the other.

Tim said the mom was pretty cute and they talked a bit while the boys played. Mom is single. I said, 'Oh great, you're going to start using my son to pick up single moms in the park now?'

LOL, too cute of Conner and Tim!!

This is totally strange that Ky told me this morning he had a dream that a dinosaur and a pirate were "battling it out." He described the duel in great detail and the pirate ended up defeating the dinosaur. He is sure that a dinosaur "unless they are herbivore" would have devoured the pirate in real life so it was quite a strange dream .

Ky has been impressing me lately with his use of scientific terminology. He even saw some maggots outside yesterday on some meat in the garbage can and I asked him why he called them "larvae" and he said because larvae sounds nicer than maggots even though he doesn't think that they deserve a nicer name LOL.

Erin

[Gwenn]

Erin, that's so cute!

[daylilies]

That's so cute Erin!
Cute story about Tim and Conner, Chrissy Josh has no problem going up to anyone and saying "my name is Joshua and Josh and I'm 4!" He thinks he has two names, because I don't exclusively use one or the other. I should probably work on that...he responds better to Joshua anyway.

Josh's cousin Dylan who was at the party yesterday is about to be 8, I think. Josh was demanding I get him a juice and I was at least trying to get him to ask nicely, and Dylan said, "Why can't you get your own?" LOL

[Smplyme89]

Chrissy Connor sounds like a sweetheart and what a cute story

Ky sounds like such a smart boy!!

[missychrissy]

How ironic that Ky dreamed about a pirate and dinosaur battling! We must be cosmically connected

Packing takes forever and I've decided glass is my least favorite item to pack. Unfortunately, I have a lot of glass baking dishes and vases. Bah!!

[daylilies]

I hate packing glass too. Towards the end of packing I just want to throw everything in a box and go.

[missychrissy]

Toward the end, that's essentially what I was doing. The glass vases that I didn't care so much about I wrapped in newspaper loosely and said if they break we'll toss them.

I only have the office left and Sydney is going to pack the laundry room (essentially 1 cupboard). The girls are going to do their bathroom and then we're done! Woo hoo!

Wednesday I'll pack the very little bit I left out to use these last few days and then slide all the boxes (largest first) toward the door and line them up so the smaller boxes can be stacked on top.

[daylilies]

Yay! Somehow it all gets done in the end.

[missychrissy]

I'm ignoring the large sandbox in the front yard. I'm hoping Rich has plans for dealing with that

My brother has a buddy coming over with a roll back to get the wooden swingset and trampoline. I laughed and said people are going to see that going down the road and think someone's playground was being repossessed!

[daylilies]

LOL, too funny. Is the sandbox wood or plastic?

[missychrissy]

The sandbox is the bottom part of the wooden swingset. There's a 'tower' part and the 'basement' is where the sandbox is. It's essentially a wooden frame with a built in seat in two corners. We had placed it over thick plastic and then filled it with sand. There's no way to pick the hole thing up so we're going to have to scoop the sand out in buckets into something else. I think we have 7-8 bags of sand in there. It's a rather large sandbox.

[Cosmosmom]

Uggg, I'm so behind. I was out sick from work on Friday with a bad headache. The rest of the weekend has been fine. Except that it's like a heat index of 110-115 and well I live in northern WI so we are not used to this kind of heat and humidity.


And than DH got a call from his mom who just got home to chicago from visiting her parents in Milwaukee. When she left her mom was fine but she got home to call that her mom was going via ambulance to the hospital....she's been having breathing issues off and on. And we live 4-5 hours away so basically nothing we can do. And to top if off I have jury duty this week and have to report to court tomorrow morning so not like I could leave and go down if I wanted to.

[missychrissy]

Oh no Jennifer! I hope she'll be ok. Do you think the breathing problems are related to the heat?