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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #21271

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    Sorry you hit a deer Bridget At least it ran off. I've hit and killed two Sorry your van is damaged though!

  2. #21272
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I thought the view count only goes up for every different IP address that views it.
    No, the counts go up every time you visit a thread, even if you were the OP. It's always been that way.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    It would be even creepier if 300 separate people suddenly decided to read this thread in the middle of the night, wouldn't it? That would seriously creep me out.
    I'm creeped that anyone would spend time reading this...if it wasn't Jennifer's psychic, I'm blaming my boss. He's exactly the sort that would do it. He knows I'm a member of a 'mommy board.' He has access to our network, obviously, so it would only take him two seconds to find out which one I'm visiting.

    Creeps make my skin crawl. I hope it wasn't him.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Hmm. That is very interesting. Suspicious, indeed, that post jump no matter how you think about it.

    I hit a deer on my way home from dinner tonight. It was just me and Sawyer and I hit the deer, it ran off and I kept driving. It had me shaking. But I just kept driving because it was dark and I was between towns and really, really didn't want to pull over.

    The front of my van is all jacked up.
    Suspicious no matter how you think about-exactly. And just plain weird...unless the person wants to join us. Then I'd be ok with it.

    Sorry about the deer and your van I'm glad you're all ok and you were able to drive it home. In NY you have to report it there on the scene or else your insurance won't cover the damage. Well, those that have deer coverage. I dropped mine. But it is illegal to 'leave the scene of an accident' if there's more than $500 worth of property damage, even if it's your own car.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  3. #21273

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    Dang, Chrissy. I hope that's not the law here. My cell battery was dead too so I was very nervous about pulling over late at night on the highway. Ever since my bro got robbed I am very paranoid.

  4. #21274
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Dang, Chrissy. I hope that's not the law here. My cell battery was dead too so I was very nervous about pulling over late at night on the highway. Ever since my bro got robbed I am very paranoid.
    I don't blame you one bit. I'd be nervous about it too...and I think that it's specific to NY. We have some of the strictest DMV related laws in the country...and the highest fees/fines to go with them.

    If your insurance requires a police report, I'm sure you can tell the officer what happened and they'll understand. In this day and age it's really not safe for a woman to stop alone like that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #21275
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    John (my boss) isn't here today, so I let Sydney come with me to work.

    Jesi had asked if she could hang out with a friend, so she rode up to Ithaca with us and I dropped her off on my way to work. I thought it was weird she was carrying an overnight bag so I asked her, "Aren't you coming home tonight?" She said yeah, that it was just a towel and a change of clothes because she was going swimming. And the bag would be some place for her to keep her hoody if it got hot. I didn't think anything more of it than that.

    As soon as we got to the shuttle bus to come into my building, Sydney told me that Jesi snuck the rabbit with her. omg-that kid!!

    I did check with Jesi-she also brought the dog harness, leash, water and food for her. What a crazy girl.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #21276

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    Oy, Chrissy.
    Do you get upset with them for lying like that? I mean, granted, it's a pretty harmless lie but a lie nonetheless.

  7. #21277

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    She brought a rabbit in her bag?? LOL!


    Both times I hit the deer we didn't stay at the scene. The first time, our car got banged up pretty badly, the side mirror came in DH's window and thankfully missed him. It was in the middle of the night and we were coming back to MA from TN and I had been driving too long. That actually traumatized me for a long time. DH was sort of curled up funny, sleeping when it happened and I cringe to think of what would have happened if he'd been sitting upright when that mirror came through the window.

    The second time, I was with Josh and it was the middle of the day, driving down a pretty busy road and it seemed to come out of nowhere. I wasn't going fast, my car wasn't damaged and I still killed the poor thing I kind of panicked, I didn't have a phone with me so I went home and called.

  8. #21278
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Oy, Chrissy.
    Do you get upset with them for lying like that? I mean, granted, it's a pretty harmless lie but a lie nonetheless.
    I didn't even think about it as a lie. I figured she probably had that stuff in her bag as well--it's multicompartmental so why not? And she is gonig swimming...or at least tanning if the water is too cold.

    As for sneaking the rabbit...meh. It's one of those things I think teens will do. Well, I might not have actually thought about that specifically (who could dream up that stuff?) but I know teens will do weird crap and keep info from their parents. It comes with the territory.

    If there's some law against having bunnies on the Commons (there might be, who knows?) then Jesi will have to suffer the consequences if she gets a ticket for it.

    Especially with her and her previous drug use, skipping school and all that-it's hard to know 100% of the time if she's telling me the truth. Rather than spend my time getting worked up and worrying about it, I figure if she's lying about something she'll eventually get caught. We're helping her with her drug therapy and I talk to her about the importance of going to school rather than skipping, but really at her age it's limited on what I can actually do about it. If she flunks out of school, she's going to suffer. If she gets busted for smoking/having dope, she's going to suffer. As a mom, I can only do so much.

    I will not protect her from the law. If she gets in trouble with this rabbit, she's paying for it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #21279
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    You're right, Chrissy. You can only do so much. I've seen a few family members make some bad choices in life and it makes me sad but you can't live a person's life for them.

    My mom was telling me that my brother wants to move. She has always helped him with his house payments, so I think she's a little bit upset that he's talking about letting the bank repo it.

    I had a good day at school but I taught my math lesson and a lot of the kids are still struggling with simple division. I did a lesson about baking and sharing cookies and it totally went over their heads. I'll have to think of something else to try for next week. I also did one to one reading with 2 kids. It's sad how far behind they are. They don't fail or hold kids back here in England so these kids are 11 with a 6 year old reading level.

  10. #21280

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    Wow Ash that is sad about the kids

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    TGIF Ladies!! My Bday is Monday Too bad I can't drink

    Bridget I am sorry about you hitting the deer I don't blame you one bit for stopping, I know I wouldn't have!!!

    Chrissy that is hilarious about the bunny! I think that is one of those pick your battles sort of situation.

    Ash that is really sad abotu those kids. I wonder why they don't hold kids back?? They just keep pushing them through even if there not prepared?


    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  12. #21282
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smplyme89 View Post
    TGIF Ladies!! My Bday is Monday Too bad I can't drink

    Ash that is really sad abotu those kids. I wonder why they don't hold kids back?? They just keep pushing them through even if there not prepared?

    They don't earn a degree here; they get to take whatever classes they want and they "leave" school at 16 years old with or without the grades. Obviously, the kids who want to go on to college take loads of classes and earn the grades but the kids who just want to go out to work (or on the dole!) just take the least amount of classes required and don't do much of anything...it's the culture here...very classist and sad!

    Are you doing anything for your b-day on Monday? My 30th is coming up in a few weeks and I'm gonna have a glass of wine (or 2 or 4 or 6!) to celebrate!

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    Wow, Ashley, that would be hard for me to deal with.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  14. #21284
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    They don't earn a degree here; they get to take whatever classes they want and they "leave" school at 16 years old with or without the grades. Obviously, the kids who want to go on to college take loads of classes and earn the grades but the kids who just want to go out to work (or on the dole!) just take the least amount of classes required and don't do much of anything...it's the culture here...very classist and sad!

    Are you doing anything for your b-day on Monday? My 30th is coming up in a few weeks and I'm gonna have a glass of wine (or 2 or 4 or 6!) to celebrate!
    That is really sad, I didn't know that Although I would've liked to be done at 16

    Nothing special. I might have a wine cooler We do have family coming down from Georgia tomorrow that are staying through the long weekend, but if I went out I would have to leave DH at home with N and honestly I'd rather be home with the two of them than go out. We'll probably get a couple movies, snuggle in bed with some popcorn. Were party animals I tell ya

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  15. #21285
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    That sounds like what we usually do, Christina! I'm making an exception this year since it's the big 3-0.

  16. #21286
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    Happy Birthday Christina

    Bridget, I was thinking about the whole lying thing with Jesi some more. I know you're right, but I think that things are so touchy with us and we're sorta frequently butting heads (not a lot, but it feels like it because it's relatively new) I'm kinda trying to play it cool. I don't want to totally alienate her so that she shuts down from me. I keep reminding myself that she did come to me about using pot. That means I'm doing something right and I need to work to keep the doors of communication open. She's not always making choices that please me, but I'm trying to find a way to guide her without constantly punishing her. If I took away her cell phone over everything, she'd never have it.

    It ended up not being a big deal about the rabbit being in the city at all. She had a great time and talked to many people. She even took it in Starbucks and the owner gave it a carrot.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #21287
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post

    It ended up not being a big deal about the rabbit being in the city at all. She had a great time and talked to many people. She even took it in Starbucks and the owner gave it a carrot.
    That's really cute; it reminds me of how here out in the country when you walk in to a little pub, there's always an old guy with a dog at the table or a cat sitting in the window. I'm a sucker for having to pet the animals!

    I've had 3 glasses of sangria today to celebrate Independence Day and now I'm very sleepy...I think I'll take myself off to bed now....

  18. #21288

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    We're having a good day at my dad's. They've just gone to bed and I'm puttering around on the computer. Josh went to bed an hour later than usual, so we'll see what time he wakes up. Maybe later than 6 for once? LOL

  19. #21289
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    Here's hoping Kate! 6 is awful early to get up. Oiy!

    I've had a busy day and I'm just exhausted. I stopped in at our house that we're working on after shopping today and Rich had some news. Our neighbor there, Jeff, is one of the most wonderful people on earth. I think I've mentioned before that when our only car was smashed they took one of theirs off the road and let me register/insure it till our insurance check came in and enabled us to buy another one. Anyway, they're very religious and are active members in their church. One of the things they do every year is a community service thing where they all donate time, money, and materials and help people out. Jeff had suggested us to his church. He said they'll excavate our back yard, rebuild our chimney, paint, do carpentry...whatever we want/need. He said normally he wouldn't think of us as we're both working and have decent income, but we're having one thing after another go wrong there and he knows we're trying to pay for two places at once and that it can't be easy. With everything that's going on I was so overwhelmed with emotion I just stood there and cried. I don't even know what to say to them. Sometimes there are simply no words.

    Oh-and funnily enough he even told Rich they won't try to convince us to go to church. Good to know!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #21290

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    I know Chrissy...I don't think he has slept later than 7:30 since he was a newborn...we actually get a bit nervous if he sleeps past 6:30 LOL


    That is so sweet about your neighbor
    I'm off to bed in a couple minutes.

  21. #21291
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    Bridget I'm sorry about the deer! I'm so afraid of that and we have a LOT of deer up here and I have come close a few times.


    Chrissy that is fantastic about the neighbors!!!!!


    Christina, Happy Birthday!!!!


    So I'm visiting my parents. Thursday a freak wind came through town and a bunch of people lost power but my parents didn't. And trees are down everywhere but my parents neighborhood is new and the trees are still small so ok too. But today was my uncles 60th b-day and so we were heading to the cemetery to see the headstone and say hi....BUT we couldn't get in because of all the trees and wires down. So that was a bit of a bummer. I did go with my mom this morning to see a psychic (she wanted to go on her brothers birthday...they were very close and its sucky to visit and not have him here, this is exactly the kind of weekend he would have been here with us visiting)....my sister bought her a reading. And she was pretty good. Some stuff was general but some was really specific and mom was not giving up answers. We were in the other room but the door was open so we could hear everything. Supposedly she said that mom's daughter (meaning me) actually could get pg but not when we want. Mom didn't ask about me or grandkids. And that DH and I need to get out more....which basically we are at work or at home...but really other than work we are almost always together. Been trying but it's hard when you move away and just don't have the connections like you do back home to people.
    other than that, we got 3 more portfolio pages done. Now we have four left plus the cover. Thinking that we might get those finished tomorrow except maybe the cover. Everyone that has seen it so far has been impressed.
    Thought about sitting in the hot tub tonight but dam* it's HOT and that just isn't as appealing to go outside and sit in hot water. I hope it's a little cooler tomorrow!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #21292
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    Sounds like you had a great, productive time Jennifer

    We're working on our house all day today. Rich got the paint sprayer set up and has one room completed. It had an instructional dvd, but of course we have nothing at our house to play it in so it was a lot of trial and error. He said after he got it going and figured out the right amount of water to put in it only took 20 minutes to completely cover our bedroom in primer. I have to go up and tape off windows. Maybe I'll see what I can do about scrubbing up our existing kitchen cupboards. As much as I hate the idea of it, I think we're going to have to use them for the time being.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #21293

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    Sounds like the sprayer is working well!

    So I don't know how he heard, because I only told people on fb and twitter and he's not on either, but this weekend my dad said "I heard Joey McIntyre's following you on twitter...does his wife know he talks to girls on twitter?" LOL

    We had a nice time. On Sat. Josh was very agreeable and fun but on Sunday he was being a little more difficult and I just wanted to go home, and we ended up going on a very long walk that was twice as long as it should have been because Josh wanted to explore everything, and we had been up since 6:30 and I am just not a morning person...I'm afraid I was more cranky than is polite

    Oh and at 4:53 a.m. Josh woke up and started talking to me, and I said "Josh...I think we should go back to sleep" and he said "okay" and he did, LOL. Then promptly woke up at 6:30 even though he went to bed an hour later than usual! I'm going to kill DH for giving Josh his early morning internal alarm clock!

  24. #21294

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    So here's something else for you guys to chew on...
    How do you deal with rude behavior? How do you explain to them that a tone of voice or an attitude is rude? Josh already does the "Mo-ommmmm..." and eyeroll if I'm not quite understanding what he's saying, or asking him to do something he doesn't like. I just don't like the tone of voice and body language but I don't know how to explain it to him so he'll understand.

    I hope everyone's having a good holiday weekend!

  25. #21295
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    I'm glad Conner is a night owl like me. He can (and does) get up early when Rich wakes him and he's chipper about it, but he rarely goes to bed before 10 pm. If we let him, he'll sleep in till 9 or even 10. Once when my cousin was up visiting I sat up with her gossiping till 4 in the morning and Conner stayed awake, sitting beside me on the couch, the whole time. He was only 3 He definitely takes after me.

    As for the attitude, I'm not sure I know how to cure that except to keep talking to him about it. At his age, I don't think it's a punishable offense. I'm kinda weird about that though because if I know my older girls are under a lot of stress I'll let it pass. It's not common though so it's not really anything I worry about.

    Conner has started saying, "You're stupid" to me when I tell him something he doesn't want to hear. It really gets me, but I'm trying not to react to it (for fear that will encourage it). I have talked to him about talking nice to me because I always talk nice to him. It worked with the girls so I can only hope eventually it'll work with him.

    Way back in the day I attended some parenting classes. I remember they had suggested mimicking whining to a 5-year-old that wouldn't stop whining so that they can hear what it sounds like, then repeating the sentence in an appropriate tone of voice. I wasn't sure I bought it then, and I'm not sure I'd do it now, but that's one idea. Another one they suggested (which I also ignored) was tape recording them so they could hear themselves. It might make it easier for him to understand what you're talking about if he can hear how it sounds (?).

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #21296

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    I might do the tape recording thing. I've tried imitating and it doesn't seem to change things. Thanks!

  27. #21297
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    I'm sure it's not something that's going to suddenly stop. Like I said, every once in a while my girls will sorta get an attitude (nothing like what I've witnessed out in the mall or anything) but I figure they're human. I don't always act like I'm supposed to either so it's not fair for me to expect it of my kids. Not that I talk to them that way...but you kwim (I think?). It's just something kids do to their parents. I'm not so permissive that I'd let it go if it were constant or severe though. I've seen some teens in the mall that if they were mine I'd be dragged them by their hair to the restroom and putting soap in their mouth if they talked to me like they talk to their parents.

    Constantly talking to my kids when they were little about the 'right' way to discuss things definitely worked for me. There were rules-if they ever demanded or threw a fit about getting something that meant they would never get it. And I mean never...not even months later for their birthday. Never.would.get.it.

    Once they were about 8 or 9 I'd start telling them, "if you can't talk to me nice, I'm not going to listen. Let's take a break and talk about this later" and then I'd flat out ignore them if they tried to continue.

    Like I said though, they weren't bad about the sighs and eyerolls. In fact, I don't think Bobbie ever did it in her life till this last year or so.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #21298
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    What we accomplished today

    Like it or not, this is the kitchen I'm going to be stuck with for 6-8 months:

    Ewwwww

    We made progress on the bedrooms & hallway though

    It's just primer. We'll choose colors and put in carpeting one room at a time later

    We're so far behind schedule that simply doing the primer is about all I hope to get done before we move in. It would have been easier to paint and carpet without our stuff, but so much went wrong and Rich had to waste a lot of time fixing the water pump and other things Ah well...at least it doesn't stink like mildew any more.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #21299

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    The hall looks nice!

    I don't expect the behavior to stop but I sure didn't expect it to start so early, either, LOL
    I just think it's disrespectful and it's starting at such an early age, I'm worried! Already eyerolling and telling me to be quiet at 4!

  30. #21300

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    Savana is very rude to dbf but it has gotten better. She does it to me sometimes and I try to be cool if I know she is just overtired or really upset. But there was a period of time where it was out of hand and we made a rule that any sass talk earned 2 minutes in her bedroom. She stopped relatively quickly after that.
    OMG I feel strict!

    Kai is also really rude but I handle him differently because he doesn't respond at all to timeouts. I will just model for him how he needs to speak to me. That usually results in him screaming "FIIINE!!!" and then saying it kindly -ish. He's a trip. But then I tell him thank you because at least he's trying.

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