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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #21001

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    That's awful, Katy!

    I'm glad the girls did a good job with cleaning, Chrissy.

  2. #21002
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Mylah! I have been wondering where you were. I guess I missed your original post, but I'm glad you're back and your aunt is healthier than expected.


  3. #21003
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    Bridget I love those plasma cars! I almost ordered one, but figured I don't need anything else collecting dust at my house. I figured I shoud actually wait until he'd use it


    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  4. #21004
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    Good job Chrissy's girls on a clean house!

    My parents do charge rent to my sister but they didn't start doing that until after we were done with college. And now she's 28....it's much cheaper than her living on her own (and the house is nice, she basically has her own bathroom, nice sized bedroom, hang out basement space, workout equipment, a hot tub, the dog....) but does help cover some of her costs like food, water, extra electric.
    Dh had to pay after high school even though he had a job and was in college and getting great grades. His stepdad was an ahole though. And after his mom kicked him to the curb, she didn't want to charge DH rent but had to up it to help cover costs (she got screwed in the divorce) and we tried to always bring food and stuff since he brought me home all the time....I lived in the dorms but we hung out with his mom all the time.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  5. #21005
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    I was never supposed to have to pay rent until after I was finished with college, but basically started helping out with bills and food as soon as I got a job. My POS father wouldn't get a job so that put more of a load on me

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  6. #21006
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    I think if they were older it would be different. Or, if they flat out refuse to go to college, then maybe. But as long as they're doing what they're supposed to and going to college, I'm going to try and support them as much as I can. Times have changed and it's harder than ever to go to college, or even come out of college, ahead of the game. I do not want to add to their financial burdens. I could use less lip though. lol

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  7. #21007
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    Yeah that is what my parents did...long as we were going to school, no rent. However if we dropped out, we would have to pay even if we had a job.
    Also had a few other rules, no smoking or they would stop helping us out with college and other expenses....and this was for me especially but if mom found out I got a credit card, she would cut me off. Dh was especially thankful for this one! LOL Bad enough that i had a lot more student loans than he did but at least neither of us had cc debt. And I am certain I would have had cc debt had I been allowed to get one. I didn't get one until I was 24 and married.
    My sister they allowed her to get one but for a long time it was a small limit card and they checked over her statements to make sure that she didn't into trouble with it. She was always a lot tighter with money than I was.
    Oh and of course we had to keep decent grades. I did fail one course first semester but everything else was ok....and it was reasonable that they expected us to keep up at least a 3.0 average since we were capable of that.


    Now the talking back.....ummm mom was pretty strict with that. I once told her no when I was 10 when she told me to do the dinner dishes. She was like, what did you say, and I was like NO. Ended up with soap in my mouth (tiny dab but I was a drama queen and carried on). Didn't try that again. We were not allowed to swear....and it wasn't until I was close to my 30's that I started swearing in front of them. And we weren't allowed to do the Whatever with an eye roll.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  8. #21008

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    I don't remember what kind of rules we had, but I never really used swears around anyone so that was never a problem. I do remember once I pushed my mom. I was a teenager and I still remember that day and the hurt in her eyes I think she was trying to stop me from going somewhere (I clearly remember her standing in front of our front door with her arms crossed).
    It's one of those things I want to apologize for to this day, but I don't know if she remembers it and if she doesn't, bringing it up just might make things worse, you know?

  9. #21009

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    Quote Originally Posted by katycat24 View Post
    My mom and I were on a ski trip together. Her mom (my grandmother) was pretty sick in the hospital, but not at death's door. My mom ran out to the car to get something and the hotel phone rang, It was my mom's friend calling to say that my grandmother had died. I had to tell my mom that her mom died. We called family and they had no idea what we were talking about, that she wasn't dead at all. I still have no idea why this woman got the idea she was dead.

    Holy wow! That must have been so awful for you. I hope at the very least, you were able to get the tiniest little chuckle out of it after all was said and done. It's the least you and your mom deserve for having been put through that.

    =========================

    Kate, I would love to meet up with you next time, even down in N. Bedf'd. 90 miles isn't THAT far, but it conflicted with DH's other plans. Sorry about that again. I'm still feeling like an idiot for not looking up the mileage between us before making plans to meet up. Oh, and about the fella you mentioned that you looked up on FB... was it Willy Hurtz from Holden?*


    *My husband stood over my shoulder and made me tell that joke against my will, I swear.

  10. #21010

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    *snort* I love the joke! Did he come up with that on his own?

  11. #21011

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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Holy wow! That must have been so awful for you. I hope at the very least, you were able to get the tiniest little chuckle out of it after all was said and done. It's the least you and your mom deserve for having been put through that.
    Unfortunately, a few weeks after we got back from vacation she took a turn for the worse and ended up dying so the whole thing was just awful.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  12. #21012
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    Quote Originally Posted by katycat24 View Post
    Unfortunately, a few weeks after we got back from vacation she took a turn for the worse and ended up dying so the whole thing was just awful.



    as far as the kids and the mouthy thing, it's a newer development with Bobbie. None of my girls really do so much as an eyeroll. At least, not within sight of me. I can't very well put soap in Bobbie's mouth. She's 18. I'm sure I could be charged with assault if I tried. I think the stress of everything that's going on around her, plus the trouble she got into and then not knowing whether she'd be able to walk in her class's ceremony is just getting overwhelming for her. I'm ready for her to be off to college, but I'm not ready to write her off as a 'mouthy kid' just yet. She's under a lot of stress.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #21013

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    Quote Originally Posted by katycat24 View Post
    Unfortunately, a few weeks after we got back from vacation she took a turn for the worse and ended up dying so the whole thing was just awful.
    I'm so sorry. It does sound like it was a very hard time for your family.

  14. #21014

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    Oh and just for the record, I didn't look up the old flame on fb Myles. He found me

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    Quote Originally Posted by katycat24 View Post
    Unfortunately, a few weeks after we got back from vacation she took a turn for the worse and ended up dying so the whole thing was just awful.


    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post



    as far as the kids and the mouthy thing, it's a newer development with Bobbie. None of my girls really do so much as an eyeroll. At least, not within sight of me. I can't very well put soap in Bobbie's mouth. She's 18. I'm sure I could be charged with assault if I tried. I think the stress of everything that's going on around her, plus the trouble she got into and then not knowing whether she'd be able to walk in her class's ceremony is just getting overwhelming for her. I'm ready for her to be off to college, but I'm not ready to write her off as a 'mouthy kid' just yet. She's under a lot of stress.
    Sounds like she is going through alot! One day she'll regret the way she talked to you and you can tell her "I told you so" My mom does it to me on a regular basis, I think she enjoys it

    Things are a little crazy, but I'm loving every minute of it My Blog


  16. #21016

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Oh and just for the record, I didn't look up the old flame on fb Myles. He found me
    Whoops. That's right. I remember you saying he was the one that got in touch with you. You still in touch with him, and does your DH care?

    I have a few ex-es on FB and I'm happy to see they're happy doing whatever it is they're doing. I always find it a little weird, though, when I see a resemblance between me and their new main squeeze. The one guy who's the self-proclaimed "internet dating expert" author who wrote distorted stories about our relationship in his books ... we're not friends anymore, and he told me off the last time I tried to encourage us to stay friends (over 8 years ago). Still, I see through friends of friends that he's got a wife who's pretty and nice and he seems happy, so I'm glad for him.

    I just had a job interview this afternoon and - I'm going to sound cocky here - I'd be surprised if they don't offer it to me. The reason I am going ahead and saying that out loud here is that I sort of do want to jinx it. I think I did well with all 3 people I talked to, and they seemed to think I was a good fit, but I don't know if I'm ready to jump to a new job. This one is more money and it's more challenging so I won't be bored, but there will be no more working from home. Also, there's another job that a recruiter dangled in front of me that's closer to home for a company that was voted one of the top 100 companies to work for by Fortune mag, and that's for even more money - except the recruiter all of a sudden disappeared so I don't know what's up with that one; for all I know, the job's filled or they rejected my resume. On top of that, I had a phone interview last week with a "green technology" company my girlfriend works for that has some interesting perks - although it's farther from home and might be less money and more hours since it's a permanent job. I think if I get this job offer from today's interview, I'm just going to go ahead and take it. My current company is talking about still having a work for me thru September, but I don't know if I can deal with the job instability.

    Right now, I have to remind myself that years ago, I chose to be a consultant for the low-commitment, diversity of projects, the higher rates and shorter hours. I'm just feeling so burnt out on job hunting at the moment. Being a mom might have changed my priorities a bit - enough to consider a permanent job with benefits - but until DH starts contributing more, I feel like I have to go for the $ to take care of us all. :/

  17. #21017

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    Well...good luck not getting that job, then? LOL

    Yeah, we still talk, DH knows and doesn't care. I feel nothing for the guy anymore (I mean it's been over 15 years since we spoke, let alone saw each other) and I've done well dodging the guy's requests to meet up for lunch sometime or something--I don't think he is trying to steal me away, but still, why tempt fate?

    He's trying to make it as a screenwriter and he knows everything and everything about actors and movies and trivia like that so he's interesting to talk to and joke about old times with.

  18. #21018

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    Oh, wait I misunderstood what you said. Sorry! Good luck!

  19. #21019
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    Myles. I don't envy you the position you're in. I hope your dream opportunity comes around for you.

    We just got back from Jesi's end-of-the-year school picnic. It was ok I guess. I didn't know anybody, and no offense to anyone who's from here but I had a good look around and I don't look anything like an "Ithaca Mom" In fact, Jesi was approaching me with a young boy from her class and asked her if I was 20! He totally made my day!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


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    I just learned through Facebook that if it rains (50% chance) the graduates are limited to 6 guests a piece. We have 11 that plan on attending! WHY didn't Bobbie think this was pertinent information???????

    My neighbor just posted a comment that if anyone wasn't using all their tickets for graduation to please message her. I'm like..tickets? What? At first I thought it was 'invitation only' and I really had a heart attack. She explained that it's just in case of rain and if they move inside...but still. It's pretty important. It's like we have to have 5 alternates.
    Last edited by missychrissy; 06-23-2011 at 08:26 PM.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #21021

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    Chrissy. I can't imagine how frustrating this all is for you!

  22. #21022
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    I just cannot comprehend why Bobbie didn't think this was important. Who am I going to leave out? Even if I leave behind all my kids (let's face it, they'll be bored any way), I still have to disappoint 2 grandparents. I'm really stressed about this.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #21023

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    Myles! Thanks for the airport shout out. I wonder if it was at the same time I was thinking about you because didn't you show up at Lydia's with homemade soda once a super long time ago? Can you share how you made it? I remember Lydia posting about it and that was my first glimpse of your fabulousness.

    Chrissy, I wish I had some advice for you but all I can think of to say is to pour yourself a stiff one.

    I went to the dr today and I promise I'm not cynical of all dr's but she did not seem knowledgeable. She was typing my symptoms into the computer and then reading my diagnosis. What was she using web md? Anyway, she said I was wound up very tightly in my neck and wanted to prescribe muscle relaxants. I turned them down since I co-sleep and breastfeed. Also she was asking me really odd personal questions stemming off questions about medical history. It was all odd.

    I let a stranger hold Sawyer at the grocery store today. She was so sweet and genuine when she came to chat and I just couldn't say no when she asked. Also, a grungy, homeless looking guy started toward me in St. Vinnys and I'll admit I got that quick panic thought that I immediately felt ashamed of, "Please don't touch my baby."
    But when he stopped he had a beautiful smile and said, "Welcome to the world little buddy."

  24. #21024

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I just cannot comprehend why Bobbie didn't think this was important. Who am I going to leave out? Even if I leave behind all my kids (let's face it, they'll be bored any way), I still have to disappoint 2 grandparents. I'm really stressed about this.
    I hope thry understand it's not your fault. Is it supposed to rain?

  25. #21025

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    I think Bobbie should be the one to call the people you decide not to invite.

  26. #21026
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I went to the dr today and I promise I'm not cynical of all dr's but she did not seem knowledgeable. She was typing my symptoms into the computer and then reading my diagnosis. What was she using web md? Anyway, she said I was wound up very tightly in my neck and wanted to prescribe muscle relaxants. I turned them down since I co-sleep and breastfeed. Also she was asking me really odd personal questions stemming off questions about medical history. It was all odd.

    I let a stranger hold Sawyer at the grocery store today. She was so sweet and genuine when she came to chat and I just couldn't say no when she asked. Also, a grungy, homeless looking guy started toward me in St. Vinnys and I'll admit I got that quick panic thought that I immediately felt ashamed of, "Please don't touch my baby."
    But when he stopped he had a beautiful smile and said, "Welcome to the world little buddy."
    Ugh Bridget-did you leave with anything helpful? What about getting massages? Would that help with the tension?

    Even though she was sweet, I can't believe she asked to hold your baby.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I hope thry understand it's not your fault. Is it supposed to rain?
    It was 50% chance yesterday, today it says 40% chance so I'm really hoping it doesn't rain. But I did get this update from someone that works at the school:

    "[Bobbie] can bring as many guests as she wants... She'll only have six tickets to get guests into the auditorium. In the past, once the people with tickets get in, then the doors are open to anyone. There will also be a big screen in the air conditioned cafeteria so people can watch the program there. No tickets are needed to watch from the cafeteria. I am hoping that we can be outside so that tickets aren't needed!!! Keep your fingers crossed!"

    It would have saved me a LOT of grief if I had known this.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #21027

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    Cool, Chrissy. Sounds like it will work out.

    Normally if a stranger would ask me to hold my baby I'd I've been . I don't know, she was about my mom's age and made me think of her. And Sawyer was acting like he wanted to jump out of my arms into hers.

  28. #21028
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    A lot of stress for nothing. Maybe it was my fault, but when I saw my neighbor's request for more graduation tickets, I instantly thought that meant we needed some to get in and I texted Bobbie and asked her if she knew about needing tickets. She said, "Yes. We're getting them tomorrow." but she didn't know how many. So I wrote my neighbor and she told me they were getting six. It was a few messages back and forth (one where Bobbie writes, "Why are you freaking out about this?" before I finally got the whole answer. But the way it played out, and the way Bobbie answered me...I really thought we were going to be leaving someone out.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #21029
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Normally if a stranger would ask me to hold my baby I'd I've been . I don't know, she was about my mom's age and made me think of her. And Sawyer was acting like he wanted to jump out of my arms into hers.
    It sounds like one of those 'meant to be' moments, especially since Sawyer was also so into her. I love things like that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #21030
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    Chrissy, I'm glad the whole graduation ceremony thing is sorted out now!

    Bridget, that's a really cute story about the lady and about the homeless guy.

    I'll log back on in a little bit to chat a bit more; Travis is now wanting me to play "Rockets" with him!

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