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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #20611

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    Jennifer, I bet it's great. Glad you had fun with your sis.

    Savana is sick, it seems. While we were getting ready to go she said, "Mama, I don't feel right. I don't know what hurts but i think I should go lay down." Sure enough, she was asleep in 10 minutes. Poor baby.

  2. #20612

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    I hope they let Bobbie into graduation! That does seem rather harsh. But she'd still get her diploma right? She just wouldn't be able to go to the ceremony?
    Again..it does seem rather harsh. She's going to remember for the rest of her life that she missed her high school graduation and the punishment doesn't seem to match the crime. I understand she inconvenienced a lot of people...but still, a bit much.

    I have to post this and move to my laptop.

  3. #20613
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Jennifer, I bet it's great. Glad you had fun with your sis.

    Savana is sick, it seems. While we were getting ready to go she said, "Mama, I don't feel right. I don't know what hurts but i think I should go lay down." Sure enough, she was asleep in 10 minutes. Poor baby.
    Aw, hope she feels better.

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I hope they let Bobbie into graduation! That does seem rather harsh. But she'd still get her diploma right? She just wouldn't be able to go to the ceremony?
    Again..it does seem rather harsh. She's going to remember for the rest of her life that she missed her high school graduation and the punishment doesn't seem to match the crime. I understand she inconvenienced a lot of people...but still, a bit much.

    I have to post this and move to my laptop.
    But she doesn't want to go. She's making me feel like if I make her go, it would be a punishment. I don't understand it, but I'm trying to be supportive of her. I just don't know how hard I should push her to go if she really doesn't want to. I don't want to further humiliate her, but I don't want her saying to me 10 years from now "I wish you would have made me go." I feel like I can't win in this one.

    She will get her degree.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #20614

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    Oh, chrissy. Poor Bobbie. The next few weeks are probably going to be rough for her. I hope that her peers at school forget about everything and move onto some other piece of gossip. Are you going to let her sit out graduation if she wants to?

    Bridget, I loved the photo of your mom. I hope your DBF-free day off is wonderful.

    kate, I'm sorry that your DH didn't recognize your efforts to help out. Is he stressed out about anything in particular right now that caused him to lash out at you? BTW, I love Mark Wahlberg, especially in the movie, I Heart Huckabees. And DH & I always crack up when we think about him in Date Night. I always tell my husband to "shirt up", which is what Steve Carell told him to do when he noticed his wife ogling the shirtless Markie Mark. Thought he was excellent in The Departed too. I would have been hooting and hollering when he walked out on stage.

    I had a nice time seeing Lydia, her hubby and the kiddies at the fair. I think my DH was a bit in a hurry to get back to his workbench, and so he may have seemed anti-social. The fair is a sore subject for me at the moment, though, because I lost my camera and accessories there - almost $1000 of equipment, including a flash that was DH's xmas gift to me. I go back and forth with telling myself reasons it's ok, and being really sad/pissy/embarrassed with myself for being so careless. This morning I woke up and said to myself "At least you didn't lose Bodhi."

    The camera had some fun photos of Lydia & family on the Swinger ride too. Bummer. At least Lydia snapped a few of me & the kiddies. This attached one was actually the best one she got of me yesterday. LOL.

    Lydia, I don't want to embarrass you, but you are a strikingly attractive woman. Not just "for someone who has 3 kids". I first met you while you were pregnant with Soren, so I don't think I'd ever seen you and in all your statuesque-ness. Anyway, please accept the compliment. Thanks again for the meetup.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by demigraf; 06-13-2011 at 11:19 AM.

  5. #20615

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    Jennifer, DH was weird about my desire to lose weight too. He's one of those "I'll believe it when I see it" types and I think that's really unfair. He didn't even really seem to notice how much weight I'd lost until I broke it down for him in numbers (I told him I went from a size 10 or 12 to a size 6).

    Bridget, sorry dbf seems to have some issues with using parenting terms in the right context. I admit I have a problem exaggerating when I'm pissed off, like "you never listen" or "you always get mad at Josh" but I always try to go back and correct myself when I've cooled off.

    No angry PM's yet regarding my twitter and fb purging!
    Also today I went and cancelled the insurance and business account for the personal chef business I was considering. If we really need money I didn't think it was wise to start a business that would probably be a big money sink before it made a profit, if it ever did.

    I confess I really have to go to the Dr. You might remember I mentioned before I have issues with doctors. I feel like I was violated enough by them as a child, I really sort of rebelled when I moved out and never went back to some regular Drs. I should be going to for keeping tabs on my spina bifida related issues.

    Well lately I've been having a lot of diarrhea. I have flareups regularly but it's gotten worse over the last couple weeks. So I think I really need to get it checked out but I'm scared it's going to be something serious or something I need surgery for. And I have no faith in the Drs. in the area who mostly can't even spell or pronounce spina bifida. I'll probably have to go to Boston but I don't know if my old doctors are still in practice.

  6. #20616

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    Jennifer, are there any scrapbooking clubs or meetup groups in your area or craft shops that do project workshops? I think both Michael's and Joann's are national chains that do scrapbooking-related events. You might be able to draw on the experience of other people who are into it, and it could be fun to meet new people.

  7. #20617
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Oh, chrissy. Poor Bobbie. The next few weeks are probably going to be rough for her. I hope that her peers at school forget about everything and move onto some other piece of gossip. Are you going to let her sit out graduation if she wants to?
    Yes, I am making it her call for her graduation...if the school decides to let her that is.

    I'm so sorry about your loss of camera equipment. That has to really sting. But like you said, at least you didn't lose Bodhi.

    And now I really want to see Lydia irl. It's not surprising to me that you described her as so beautiful and statuesque...she has that same sort of presence online as well.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #20618

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    Myles, the crowd went nuts when Mark walked out. I'm not a huge fan of his movies but I'm proud of him. He came a long way from being a troublemaker, to doing the Funky Bunch thing and now being a respected actor.

    DH is stressed and angry with our money situation and I've been selfish by being so anxious about getting a 'real job'. I need to just do it. DH doesn't like his job either but he does it because he has to. I wish I could get away with feeling entitled to a job I like, but in this economy I really can't. And that pisses me off.

    I'm glad you had a good time with Lydia!

    Chrissy, I know she doesn't want to go. I feel bad for her. What a tough spot to be in. Was she pressured into the stealing or did she do it on her own? I guess if it were me I'd let her make the decision to go or not go to graduation. It's tough to see your kid do something they might regret though.

  9. #20619
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    Kate, I'm glad you're going to the dr. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you fear, but it does sound like something that needs an assessment on. Good luck. Let us know when your appointment is.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #20620
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    ...DH is stressed and angry with our money situation and I've been selfish by being so anxious about getting a 'real job'. I need to just do it. DH doesn't like his job either but he does it because he has to. I wish I could get away with feeling entitled to a job I like, but in this economy I really can't. And that pisses me off.
    I hope you find something you can tolerate ok, if not all-out love.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #20621

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I confess I really have to go to the Dr. You might remember I mentioned before I have issues with doctors. I feel like I was violated enough by them as a child, I really sort of rebelled when I moved out and never went back to some regular Drs. I should be going to for keeping tabs on my spina bifida related issues.

    Well lately I've been having a lot of diarrhea. I have flareups regularly but it's gotten worse over the last couple weeks. So I think I really need to get it checked out but I'm scared it's going to be something serious or something I need surgery for. And I have no faith in the Drs. in the area who mostly can't even spell or pronounce spina bifida. I'll probably have to go to Boston but I don't know if my old doctors are still in practice.
    kate, I wonder if there are any naturopathic practitioners in your area and if you'd be open to talking to one of them. This isn't the same as your situation, but my DH had horrible eczema & psoriasis for 3 years, and regular MDs couldn't do anything to really help him. Then he started seeing this holistic chiropractor who emphasized the role his liver played in his skin conditions. He had DH change his diet to include purifying things like coconut water, this cold-water algae, probiotics and something called Udo's Oil that's a DHEA supplement, I think. After 3 months, DH's skin cleared up. It was pretty amazing. I used to be suspicious of non-conventional, not allopathic
    doctors because I hadn't met one who could explain his/her rationale very well and in scientific terms. But this guy really changed my mind. Maybe finding one could help you out too.

    I am relying more and more on Yelp for finding things like veterinarians, cake supply stores, playgrounds and restaurants. I wonder if you can find a well-recommended naturopath in your area on Yelp, that is if you'd consider it.

  12. #20622
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    I forgot to say-I love that picture Myles!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  13. #20623
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    I would let her skip it. I don't really see graduating high school as that big a deal. I did mine but it was mostly because I felt connected to the school and had some friends there and all that. But even still it was pretty boring (I attended graduation every year in high school since I was in orchestra and we played for it).
    I did NOT want to do the college one...while I loved my school, it wasn't like I had a group of friends that were graduating with me. But my parents insisted on it and well since they covered whatever my scholarships and student loans didn't cover, I felt like that they deserved to see what they paid for. And again it was pretty boring.
    Graduate school was an online program. I only physically went to UW-Milwaukee for the required comphrensive exam. Took four years to finish since I was going part-time and since I was taking classes online, well I didn't feel connected to the school or classmates. And the last semester I moved across state so I didn't bother attending graduation.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #20624

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    I don't know, I have so many complications I'd be kind of afraid to go to someone like that. I don't know anything about it, how to tell who's legit and all that.

  15. #20625

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    OMG, I just saw something in my fb sidebar about a small nkotbsb concert streaming live and I tuned in just in time to see it start And my day is okay again, LOL

  16. #20626

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    Haven't been in here in a while, so poking in to say hi. Hi!!

    I usually post at work but have actually been busy lately. Our CEO came and did a shake up scaring everyone (except me) into thinking they will lose their jobs. My boss, the vice president of the region, is the main one afraid that she is going to lose her position. From what they (the CEO, head of HR, and the Risk Management head guy who came) said, I thought the same thing, that they are replacing her. They gave us a "Project Plan" list of a bunch of things that we had to do this week and since my boss is so busy most of the time and not in the office to do the tasks assigned to her, I had to do the project plan, which was tedious, repetitve work. I was so mind boggled by it that I wrote a rather length email to our CEO explaining that I didn't feel the plans they had for us would be very effective and that I didn't think they had much of an idea about the culture of Atlanta and how business is run here and I gave them some suggestions. My boss and immediate supervisor were shocked that I had the gall to do that and really I wasn't but the plans they have for us are just really wonky IMO and we are in a position right now that the Atlanta Housing Authoriy, who we work for, are about to pick only one property management company (they have 3 right now including us) and we are not guaranteed to get the new contract for all of the housing authority's properties. If we lose, we all will lose our jobs. So I didn't want to remain silent about what I felt was the wrong direction and now I have to have a phone conference with the CEO and the other folks who came down because they were impressed by my ideas.

    I am regretting doing this now. I know it may seem strange, but I really do enjoy my job, mostly because I really don't do that much work. I could do probably 10 times as much work as I do now and still have a couple hours of free time per day because I am uber productive in an office. Before writing this email they saw me as the lowly secretary, which I liked and now I have a feeling they will try to get me to do more duties. I know it is crazy, but I like my low stress, low duties jobs. I get paid less than I used to but it doesn't bother me since I do less and if they want to make me do more, then I will have to try to negotiate a pay raise and it will be awkward because really I already do more than what my job description implies only because we have a small office and not many people in our office so I pick up the slack for others so we won't look bad to the housing authority.

    But I took a few days off this week because the daycare Elle goes to is closed for vacation. So we are enjoying each other's company. She is really getting chatty and she just cracks me up all the time. I just love her. I am still waiting for her to become a crazy toddler because she is so sweet and nice and in control of herself most of the time. My mom says I was the same and was never a crazy toddler, my grandma said the same thing about my mom, so maybe it is a girl genetic thing in my family or something but she is just the best kid ever IMO so I am looking forward to hanging out with her this week. Today she cracked me up in the grocery store, someone asked about her doll (whose name is Baby Doll) and about Elle's sunglasses and Elle told her "I can put my glasses on Baby Dolls' butt. Look. Baby Doll can see out her butt with her glasses." Then she cracked up laughing. We talked about how Baby Doll can't possibly see out her butt, even with sunglasses, because we can only see out of our eyes, but Elle says she can pretend Baby Doll can see out of her butt so that is what she will do. She is just a riot.

    Erin

  17. #20627

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    LOL, she sounds like a riot.
    I kind of know what you mean about your job. I kind of like to stay under the radar too. I just want to do what I'm supposed to do and go home. Yeah I have crazy aspirations sometimes but I like to be comfortable, too.

  18. #20628

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    Erin she is so adorable. I love that story! lol. I bet those CEO's are going to want to snatch you up and put you in a higher position for sure. You are very smart. But I really understand what you mean about staying where it's easy and low key.

    I hope this doesn't sound bad but whenever I am alone with one of my kids I always think about how they would be if they were an only child. It's just so different being with one and not the other. Now of course I'm just talking about Savana and Kai. For example, Savana has been sleeping all morning and so it's me and Kai and Sawyer and Kai all day has been toodling around and talking to me and being really sweet and mellow. Normally he's a wild and crazy screaming and yelling and getting into anything he can get his little hands on. It's been a really nice morning with him.

  19. #20629

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    I think the same thing about Elle. How would she be as a only child. Ky was an only child for 7 years almost so he had the gift, I guess of being the center of our attentions and my favorite kid. Elle is really screamy around Ky, like she is fighting for attention from him. Whenever he isn't around she is soft and quiet and sweet. So I do wonder about that sometimes.

    Erin

  20. #20630

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    Sometimes I wonder what Josh would be like if he *weren't* an only child. LOL

  21. #20631
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    Erin, I totally know what you mean about preferring a low key, albeit lower pay, job. That's the attitude that's kept me in my current position for longer than I probably should have been. I hope great things materialize for you from this.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #20632

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    Kate, I've been thinking about how you've been struggling on the job front. In this way (and in this way only) you remind me of dbf. He could never have a regular 9-5 job working for someone else. And it's not just that he doesn't want to. I've no doubt he would be very depressed and likely would just keep getting fired because he could never take direction from someone else and he has to, and I mean HAS TO, do things his own way by his own process which always varies from "the book".
    I understand this about him and I would never ask him to go out and get that sort of job. Somehow he always comes through for us. Like, just now he called me and said he stopped in at the school he was remodeling to see if they needed anymore work done and they gave him a long list of jobs. This is in the nick of time for us as our account has dwindled away to almost nothing.
    My point is that dbf is not a lazy person and although he is kind of a selfish person, this isn't one of those instances. Some people can work a job they don't love and still be happy. Some people cannot. Don't give up on just finding your own path with the pet sitting and the cooking or whatever. I hate that your dh tries to call you out for not working but shoots you down when you come up with an idea. It's not really fair is it?

  23. #20633

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    Yeah, it seems like we can't afford (literally) to be picky but I guess he feels like if I take up my time with little jobs here and there I'll be filling up time I could spend at a real, consistent, better paying job. I understand his point, it's just his approach that hurts me.

    I bristle at the word lazy but IDK, sometimes I feel like I am. Because I was brought up in a well off family and I was given a trust fund when I turned 18 I never "had to" work and I still don't "have to" if i don't mind dipping into that account. I wasn't taught how to manage money or time or how to become career oriented. I'm sort of resentful towards my parents about that.

  24. #20634
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    I understand what you mean about your job, Erin. I felt like that with my last job; my boss actually called me a few weeks ago and asked me to come in to talk about returning from maternity leave....eek!

    I'm taking the plunge and applying for a teaching program for next year...I don't know if it will work out, but I'm looking forward to not going back to an office job; I'm not cut out for office work.

    Oh, I meant to say that your siggy pic is gorgeous, Erin!

    Myles, I'm sorry you lost your camera. Can you claim insurance on it and get a new one? That's a cute pic of you and the kids; I'm jealous that you and Lydia get to meet up. You should come visit your UK friends and I'll come see you! (Does that sound stalker-ish? lol).

    I'm gonna go eat some supper (fyi-cheesburger Doritos do not taste like cheeseburgers!)

  25. #20635
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    Kate, have you talked to your church about doing things for members? Or submitted a thing to be published in the newsletter? Your dh might be surprised at how much income you can generate.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #20636

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    I haven't submitted the ad for the newsletter yet. The deadline for that is the 20th. I tried to work on it last night but I was so pissed off about DH's reaction to it that I really didn't have the motivation.

    Oh and he called me weak-willed for losing motivation just because he doesn't think it'll work out. Which may be true, but that's how I am. I feed off of outside support.

  27. #20637

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    Kate, he seems like he's being mean spirited about it! I will say that I despise when I am excited about something and dbf gets down on me about it and basically tells me it's a stupid idea without saying those exact words.

  28. #20638

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    I think he's just upset that he works hard and doesn't make enough money by himself and that takes him down a peg or two and he takes it out on me. But if I bring it up it'll just become a fight and he'll say I'm reading too deep into it or trying to blame things on him. He doesn't think introspectively like that and just ends up becoming defensive when I try to suggest that's where these reactions are coming from.

  29. #20639

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I think he's just upset that he works hard and doesn't make enough money by himself and that takes him down a peg or two and he takes it out on me. But if I bring it up it'll just become a fight and he'll say I'm reading too deep into it or trying to blame things on him. He doesn't think introspectively like that and just ends up becoming defensive when I try to suggest that's where these reactions are coming from.
    Ah, yes. I could have written that.

  30. #20640

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    I think that also we don't know how to have a discussion without it turning personal and becoming hurtful.

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