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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #20371
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    Well, in AZ they didn't do it with the intention of restricting access! And they work just like a fast-food drive through, just a window in the side of the building. Nobody comes out and I don't see how they could really tell if you were sober or anything unless you were just wasted.

    On another topic, I am reading the most disturbing book right now. Seriously disturbing. It's called Room.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    We have drive thru liquor stores all over the place here.. I was shocked when we moved here and saw them...



    I confess Iced coconut latte... YUM

  3. #20373
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    Quote Originally Posted by The10Eels View Post
    I confess Iced coconut latte... YUM


    I'm bored. I seriously need a new job.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #20374
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    Quote Originally Posted by The10Eels View Post
    We have drive thru liquor stores all over the place here.. I was shocked when we moved here and saw them...



    I confess Iced coconut latte... YUM
    OMG, YUM! I had one yesterday!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #20375
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I looked at the description of Room on Amazon for my Kindle, and toyed with the idea of reading it, but rebelled against the idea of paying full price. It does look very disturbing.

    In Wyoming there are drive-through liquor stores. It's quite nice. I remember the blue laws for alcohol from when I lived in Texas. In fact, there were a lot of things you couldn't buy on Sundays. Whole aisles were blocked off. I think it's really bizarre now that you can't buy alcohol during the middle of the night. One time I went grocery shopping at 4 am (24 hour grocery store) because that's when I had the free time, I was awake, and dh was home asleep and all the babies were asleep, and I had wine on my list and they wouldn't sell it to me. I was very annoyed. Stupid laws. It was for a recipe!


  6. #20376
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    Lydia, I'm reading it through the kindle app on my ipad. I saw it and was intrigued but put off by the price, so I read the free sample beginning pages to see if I liked the style. I was hooked, and bought it immediately. I feel bad, too, because I'm trying to take it easy on spending until my next check since we just got the iPad.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #20377

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    I don't have anything to contribute to the drinking conversation because I drink maybe 3 times a year, and when I do, I am tipsy after half a drink. I don't even know what the laws are for selling alcohol in CA.

    I'm working from home right now, although I planned to go into the office after 12pm today. I decided that since I was going in after 10am, I'd try my luck with the BART train station that's one stop closer to work than my "home" station. They open up restricted parking to the general public after 10 am, and I like that closer station because every southbound train goes to it from my work, whereas only every other train goes to my "home" station. It can be annoying to wait in big lines during rush hour and then have to stand aside when it's not your train. So anyway, I go to the closer station and drive in circles around the parking lot, completely unable to find a single open parking spot. So then I gave up and decided to head back to my "home" station. I get back on the freeway, get lost in thought, and MISS my offramp. Before I knew it I was almost home. So I just decided to keep going. I can't remember why I was planning to go in anyway. I think I wanted to drop off my laptop there so I'd have the space in my backpack for other heavy things tomorrow, but I digress...

    I have to admit I've been thinking a lot about Lydia's conflicts with her hubby since I read about them yesterday. Perhaps I can share a helpful perspective, because I am often the impatient one in my marriage when it comes to having conversations. A little background on me, DH & the subject of "talking": My husband hiked all 2300+ miles of the Appalachian Trail before I met him. The trail is very social, since you hike with the same people for weeks on end. One custom for "thru-hikers" is to give each other "trail names" that you use to refer to one another. Practically nobody knows each others' real names on the trail because people introduce themselves with their trail names once established. Well, my DH's trail name was Rambler. Because that is his conversational style.

    So my point is, I didn't give him that nickname. He earned it.

    He doesn't filter his thoughts before he presents them. He tends to just empty his head of the thoughts that pop into it. When he describes where something is located, it's often as though he's reading from a map in his head ("Let's see, you have Reina Street, and then in two blocks there's Hillside, where there's a big park. After two more blocks you'd end up taking a left at the giant Canary palm tree, and you'll see the green house on the left." ... And that would just be in answer to the question, "Do you live far from here?") When he tells me about his workday, he goes into painful detail over every signal, every little wire he troubleshot that day, even though the structure of the underlying story is the same each time - that he had a problem that he was afraid he couldn't fix, then after some persistence he was able to get to the root of the problem and felt really good about himself after he solved it.

    When he tried to get me to sit through two huge photo albums of him hiking the trail, with him stopping to tell me one long rambling anecdote per photograph (I'm not kidding. It would have taken 5 hours to get through just one album) we had a big fight when I put my foot down a quarter of the way through and refused to look at any more pictures.

    When we clash like that over me not wanting to listen to any more from him, he a) resents me because he thinks I'm selfish with my attention, and b) gives me a guilt trip about not caring enough about him because I don't want to hear the specifics of his day. And my take is that he isn't respectful of my time, feels too entitled to interrupt what I'm doing, and I definitely don't appreciate the guilt trip he lays on me for just being more interested in something else besides his transistors. In a nutshell, I think he's a bit rude and oblivious to what I might have going on at the moment, as he talks on and on about himself. He learned this habit from his mom, who talks pretty much the same way. To both of them, the stories they tell are an act of giving of themselves to you, and they would both be genuinely hurt if they knew you didn't want the gift.

    Anyway, I'm not saying Lydia is anything like my DH. I think mine is a pretty extreme case, actually. And having met Lydia in person, I can say she's not overly chatty by any means. But I guess my point is, after 7 years of dealing with this particular area of conflict with me & DH, the best way I've learned to cope with it is to accept that we are just 2 different people who process our thoughts differently before they come out of our mouths, and who have different ways of listening to other people. I'm also not as good at having my train of thought interrupted by DH, so I resent the intrusions more, and the problem there is that I am often deep in thought.

    In the long run, I would rather DH not take it too personally when I don't want to listen to him. And I'm sure DH appreciates the times I cut him slack for just being a stream of consciousness type of talker rather than think of him as someone actively trying to irritate me. We've both worked on ourselves in this department quite a bit; he's become a little bit more conscious about getting to the point faster, while I try to be more patient and a little less self-absorbed. I think things became easier for both of us after we took the resentment and finger-pointing out of the equation and just started to understand ourselves as people with unidentical conversational styles.

    So I hope that helps the tiniest bit in your situation, Lydia. I'm sorry if you feel the rift has been creating distance between the two of you. I'm still pretty sure that the foundation of your marriage is very strong underneath this quarrel.

  8. #20378
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    I agree, that kind of talking would be annoying no matter how much you love a person. I'm glad you guys have been able to work through that. It's a perfect example of how something can cause tremendous strife, but yet be worked through if you love and respect each other enough and are committed to finding a solution.

    I admit, I have wondered if I drive Rich crazy since some of these posts have come up. I can also talk bark off a tree sometimes, but Rich never indicated annoyance with me. I don't think I'm clueless and he swears he doesn't mind...but honestly, if he went into such detail about things I didn't know about like I can with computers sometimes, I'm sure I'd find it boring. I don't do it often though, because I do know he doesn't really care about computers.

    He's been staying away from the alcohol, which I'm happy about, but I still have the feeling that I'm waiting for the shoe to drop again because it's been a cycle for a number of years now. I mean, I was pregnant with Conner the first time I really blew up at him over drinking. That's five years. He had some yesterday, but he waited till everything was done and it was getting dark out before he passed out on the couch. If it only stayed occasional, and he made sure everything was done that needed to be done, I guess I could live with it. But my fear is that now that he's drank yesterday, he'll do it again next weekend. Then it'll be earlier in the day. Then he'll be passing out before some really important stuff gets done. I do not want to live like that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  9. #20379

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    That's funny, Room was mentioned on another site I go to. I don't think I could read it though.

    Actually I bought Tina Fey's book in the airport on the way back from the cruise and I still haven't finished it. It's laugh-out-loud funny though, especially the part about her honeymoon on a cruise! It was just like my experience with the safety drill and the animals housekeeping makes from hand towels LOL

  10. #20380
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    Chrissy. I know that fear.

    It took him years, but DH has finally accepted that he can't drink occasionally. He used to insist he didn't have to stop, that he just needed to learn to manage his drinking responsibly. I believe that can be true for some people. Unfortunately, it wasn't true for DH. He can't handle it anymore. That's one of the reasons I rarely drink, because I just don't want to create that environment. Then again, I'm like Myles and get tipsy from half a glass of wine so there's not much fun for me, anyway.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  11. #20381

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    Dbf is a major rambler. i thought he was on drugs the first few times I saw him because he talks fast and never stops. In fact, I have had people ask me that before. Sometimes when I call him he picks up the phone talking, yammers on about this and that and then says, "I gotta go!". I haven't spoken a word and the conversation is over. He also repeats himself over and over when he has a particular thing he is mulling over. The other thing he does is pick up conversations with me that he clearly started somewhere else. Like he'll walk in the house and say, "He's buying the lawn mowers! Both of them after all that! Can you believe it?"

    Chrissy, i hope Rich can continue to enjoy in moderation. I sure know it feels waiting for the other shoe to drop.
    Last edited by Bridget; 06-06-2011 at 05:07 PM.

  12. #20382

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    It's a fine line between fun and really crappy when we drink. We either have a great time or we fight.

  13. #20383

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    Dbf is a major rambler. i thought he was on drugs the first few times I saw him because he talks fast and never stops. In fact, I have had people ask me that before. Sometimes when I call him he picks up the phone talking, yammers on about this and that and then says, "I gotta go!". I haven't spoken a word and the conversation is over. He also repeats himself over and over when he has a particular thing he is mulling over. The other thing he does is pick up conversations with me that he clearly started somewhere else. Like he'll walk in the house and say, "He's buying the lawn mowers! Both of them after all that! Can you believe it?"

    Chrissy, i hope Rich can continue to enjoy in moderation. I sure know it feels waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    Ack! DH does that too, continues conversations he had with someone else, or all of a sudden continues a discussion we had like half an hour ago. And he doesn't understand why I can't remember what he's referring to.

  14. #20384

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    I'm super mellow and happy when I drink and dbf is obnoxious. Here is a photo that captures that:


  15. #20385

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    ROFL I love the picture

  16. #20386
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    That's an awesome pic Bridget! You're beautiful, even when drinking. I look like a lush.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #20387

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    I gotta say I don't think there are any pictures of drunk me floating around. That's probably a good thing.
    My mother thought my pictures on fb of the latest nkotb concert (with the backstreet boys) were professional. I didn't think they were that good! I wasn't very close to the stage, but I was 14 rows back from the end of the catwalk where they came out a few times.

    Josh is a real handful again. I can't tell if his behavior is frustrating us or if our short patience is causing him to act up, or a little of both. I went into the downstairs bathroom just now and there was poop smeared on the wall. I have no idea why he does that but it's not the first time. Guess I'll be accompanying him to the bathroom for a while.

  18. #20388

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    I got myself some of that skinny girl margarita. You weren't kidding about it not being sweet, Chrissy!

  19. #20389
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    I like it Kate!! What do you think?

    As for the poop on the wall...at least he's using the bathroom? Sorry, that's my lame attempt at a joke. I remember going through that with one of the girls (never figured out which one was doing it) and it is very aggravating indeed.

    Conner still refuses to poop on any potty and has gotten very bad about peeing on the potty. He was accident free for months, then started having occasional accidents, to now when I contemplate just getting him back in pull-ups because he's only peeing on the potty 2-3 times a day. Sometimes, not even that. Conner is, without question, the most difficult child I've had in regards to potty training.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #20390

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    I do like it, but I switched after one glass to some sparkling rose wine that is pretty good.
    Yes I am glad he's using the potty. I just don't get why he's wiping his hands on the wall

  21. #20391

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    Josh pees on the potty all the time except for the occasional middle of the night accident, but sometimes he poops his pants

  22. #20392
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    Sometimes there's just no understanding why they do the things they do...just constant reminders. Over and over and over again. Eventually, they do get it. At least, so far my 3 older ones did so I have to have faith that Conner will too some day.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #20393

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    Hehe, well I have no other other ones to gauge it by, so I hope he gets it

  24. #20394
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    Finished reading Room. Disturbing but amazing at the same time. I think it's one of the best written books I've ever read.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    grrrr.. I had been eying it at work for a while, and now I am going to have to read it....

  26. #20396
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    Read it!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #20397

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I'm super mellow and happy when I drink and dbf is obnoxious. Here is a photo that captures that:

    !!!

    Gwenn, I have no idea what The Room is about since I haven't clicked through the link yet, but based on your description of a book that's disturbing but really well written, I recommend you at least read the summary of The Secret History by Donna Tartt. M'be it'll hook you too.

  28. #20398
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    I'll have to take a look at it, now that I'm looking for something else to read.

    I didn't link earlier, but here's a link for Room.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I confess I have a mini-vent...


    I just logged into facebook to check if a friend had messaged me back. I see that I have some requests about tags in my photos...

    I took some pics of Audri and a friend's kid (we will call the friend S) while we were at the park the other day. I tagged S in the pics so that she could get them.

    S's ex-MIL tagged herself in the pictures, and since she is not my friend it asked for my permission for her to tag herself in the pic.

    Uhm, that is also MY child in that picture, and I do not know you S's crazy ex-MIL......

    Then there was another one, that was the same situation, but a picture of my dad and charlie, and an old family friend tagged herself in the pic....

    Would you allow someone you don't know to tag themselves in your pictures??

  30. #20400
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    That's a tough one ... I wouldn't do it.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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