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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #19711
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    Oh Bridget That makes perfect sense to me why it would feel like losing her again. Maybe he was just talking out loud but doesn't really have any solid plan right now.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #19712
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    Hi, Bridget! Missed you! I totally understand about the smell of the house.

    Lydia, that is the sweetest thing about the twins. This is a tangent, but I remember trying to explain to my niece that I was their mommy's sister and their grandma's daughter. My niece didn't like that - grandma was HER grandma and mom was HER mom. She didn't like other people having different relationships.

    I know I must say this constantly, but I forsee doom at work next year. They are playing stupid, stupid games that don't even save them money. They are cutting the people in my position in half by eliminating the outside contractors, while increasing our caseloads (well, firing 50 people will save them money). We were informed today that they were extending the hours we were expected to work and eliminating paid lunches. We're on salary - we're not paid by the hour. And we all work WAY more than 40 hours per week including paperwork time. The children are in school 6 hours per day regardless of when we work, so increasing our hours won't increase direct service time. And all the teachers have the same contract hours district wide (37.5 hours with .5 hour lunch included). Everyone takes home work, it's part of being a professional. They are going to take us off the union contract hours while we remain subject to the union concensus agreement? And my DH says he has never heard of a salaried employee not getting "paid" through lunch time. It makes no sense. I can't even see how it would save them money - we're already working those hours and more and will have no more time in which to provide services to the students! One coworker suggested that if we are being expected to work 40 hours, than we'll work 40 hours. And cut our working time by 1/3! I think that's the plan. If they want hourly employees, that's what they'll get. It's just insulting.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  3. #19713
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    Oh Mandy, I hate that they're doing that. How awful! Even being an outside person looking in, I can't see how this is going to help anyone. The kids won't be served, the workers won't be served, and as employers they're not going to be served. It's going to cause a lot of stress and negative vibe at work for a lot of people.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #19714
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    Exactly! What does it get them other than to piss us all off?
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #19715
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    They'll probably lose more than they bargained for because people won't put up with it.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  6. #19716
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    No, I don't think they will. They'll find they'll lose a lot more than the 50 contractors they planned to let go. And they won't able to hire those people to replace the employees that quit because the contractors all have noncompete agreements.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #19717
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    That doesn't make sense at all. Sometimes you wonder how people got into management.
    Check the labor laws in your state....I don't know how you can call someone salaried and do unpaid lunches. It doesn't make sense at all. I don't see why they would hourly instead....you get so much more work out of someone that is salaried....no overtime.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  8. #19718
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    That doesn't make sense at all. Sometimes you wonder how people got into management.
    Check the labor laws in your state....I don't know how you can call someone salaried and do unpaid lunches. It doesn't make sense at all. I don't see why they would hourly instead....you get so much more work out of someone that is salaried....no overtime.
    I know, right? WHY would they want us to move from salary to hourly? It makes absolutely no sense! I think several people have already been in contact with the union.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  9. #19719
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    Mandy, that's just crazy.


  10. #19720
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    I think that is a symptom of the economic plummet we just had...many businesses and now public sector jobs are cutting and slashing all over the place. KimJ worked the same place for 3 or maybe even 4 years without a raise. Teachers and unions and anything associated with children services are being cut. It's truly frustrating. I don't know how they cannot see that this is going to have a snowball effect. Those we don't take care of now will have larger challenges and be a bigger 'burden' on society as they become adults.

    I've read a few articles that claim things are looking up, and the trend will now be that workers will look elsewhere if their current employer doesn't reward them properly. It's not all about the money, either. When they pull stuff like this, it creates stress and negative workplace energy. The days of being grateful you have a job are going to end, and people will start looking to see what's out there.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. Default

    Since we are on the topic of jobs...

    Mine is getting ridiculous. People are taking things WAY too seriously, and it is NOT a positive environment. No one wants to be there, and you can feel the tension the second you walk in the door. No respect is given to any of the employees, and I have to remind myself, and a few others daily that "Its just a retail job"

    So I talked to my mom and dad about taking the summer off, especially since I am taking that CNA class that will be mon-fri 8-5. I would have to work 5:30 - Close, and weekends which would give me NO study time. I am also taking a US History class online.



    They kinda laughed at me and said "We told you to quit a LONG time ago!!"


    So looks like I just get to be a student/mommy this summer, and I am SO excited!

  12. #19722
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    That's awesome, Ash! I'm glad you have supportive parents; that helps so much.

    I have job related news, too! I'm not going back to my old job after my 1 year maternity leave is up in August. I'm going to be volunteering at a local elementary school and applying to do a graduate course to get back in to elementary school teaching! I'm so excited! (And of course, I'll be spending time with my boys while not volunteering so it's a win-win situation!)

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    YAY for win-win situations!! Thats exciting Ash!

  14. #19724
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    Ash!

    Ash!

    Good news on both fronts!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #19725
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Ash!

    Ash!

    Good news on both fronts!!
    This!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #19726

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Ash!

    Ash!

    Good news on both fronts!!


    Happy for both of you!

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  17. #19727
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    For me, I'm leaving tomorrow for the Medical Library Association's annual conference....the national meeting is in Minneapolis this year so my boss and I are going. (last year it was in Hawaii which was NOT in our budget and next year is Seattle which probably won't be either). I hope to have internet in my room but that is uncertain if it's going to be free. I will be back home later on Tuesday. It should be pretty good. Last one I went to was in Chicago four years ago and I learned so much at that one.

    I got some groceries last night and tonight I'm making a lasagna and tomorrow morning probably a mac and cheese. That should give DH some food for him and Cosmo for most of the time I'm gone and they can eat out if needed.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #19728
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    So AI chat yet?????

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #19729
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    For me, I'm leaving tomorrow for the Medical Library Association's annual conference....the national meeting is in Minneapolis this year so my boss and I are going. (last year it was in Hawaii which was NOT in our budget and next year is Seattle which probably won't be either). I hope to have internet in my room but that is uncertain if it's going to be free. I will be back home later on Tuesday. It should be pretty good. Last one I went to was in Chicago four years ago and I learned so much at that one.

    I got some groceries last night and tonight I'm making a lasagna and tomorrow morning probably a mac and cheese. That should give DH some food for him and Cosmo for most of the time I'm gone and they can eat out if needed.
    I hope you have a great time! I'm sure Cosmo & dh will be fine. It sounds like you have everything prepared for them that they could need!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    So AI chat yet?????
    You'll probably not be surprised to hear that I'm sooooo not happy.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  20. #19730
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    I was a bit surprised....but again I wasn't. At this point all left have talent and it comes down to personal taste and country is so big in this country. I liked him but I have to admit that I didn't like all he did and often (especially this week) seemed out of tune a bit. Like the journey song was alright....but not compared to Glee's version.
    My top choice is Haley....going to have to start voting.

    And I love Gaga (now there is some talent!)....and Scotty needing to kiss his cross

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  21. #19731
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    So DH put the gopher repel sticks in the holes yesterday....and last night was the first in a week that we didn't have a mound in the yard. Keeping my fingers so crossed that these work and I can get my veggies planted!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #19732
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    I Lady Gaga. Scotty cracked me up...I sometimes forget how sheltered some people can be, and I think his reaction to Lady Gaga is just a symptom of that. I like Scotty's singing, but I loved James a helluva lot more.

    Here's to hoping your gopher sticks work!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #19733

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    Lydia, your story about Claire telling a stranger about her sister made me so teary for some reason. She has such a sweet, beautiful mind. I imagine she is going to have a piece of Esme living inside her all throughout her life.

    Ash, lucky you for getting to be a student/mommy this summer. And your girls are lucky too for getting more of you.

    Jennifer, safe travels to your conference!

    Mandy, I am so sorry that your work is heaping all that worry on you. Are you thinking at all about alternative work? It seems as though there are 2 gaps to fill - the smart and talented people on your job are left feeling very dissatisfied, and the children are left with a lower quality of care. I wonder if there's anything that you and your colleagues who feel the same way can do on your own to fill both of those gaps. Hang in there, girl!

    As for me, my boss told me that the project I've worked to design the last couple months is underfunded, and they're going to try to "slow it down". It didn't hit me until I was folding laundry last night that it could mean my position going away as well. No boss has ever shared so much about her budget with me, so yesterday I learned that my pay is roughly 5% of her budget the rest of the year. I won't have as much to do if there's no money to build as big a feature as the one I designed. And the rest of the full-time team will have less to do because of the slow-down as well, so they could probably take over where I leave off. I usually have a good intuition about when my contract is on the chopping block. So I'm going to update my resume today and shop it around a bit.

    I have my eye on just one company - Virgin America. I live pretty near the offices, and I've always wanted to work in the airline industry (travel benefits!). This is going to sound really hokey, but in the past, I've set my sights on different workplaces I liked and sort of visualized working there/meditated on them/sent them my vibes of intent. It worked to get me a contract at Toyota that lasted 2 years. So who knows? It could be really, really cool, anyway.

    Bridget, I hope that there's some way you can preserve a piece of your mother from your childhood home even if your father sells it. Perhaps the sale of that house is another step on your journey to finding peace with your mother's passing. I think sometimes that the perception of grief is that is has to happen on some sort of a timeline - like it's some sort of visitor that comes and then has to go away by such and such a deadline. I think, instead, that perhaps the loss of a loved one is a "visitor" that stays forever and becomes a part of ourselves. And it could take years for you to become comfortable and welcoming towards your guest. Everything you're feeling is perfectly valid and makes you the lovable soul you are. I hope you do find your version of peace with your mother's passing in good and perfect time.

  24. #19734
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I have my eye on just one company - Virgin America. I live pretty near the offices, and I've always wanted to work in the airline industry (travel benefits!). This is going to sound really hokey, but in the past, I've set my sights on different workplaces I liked and sort of visualized working there/meditated on them/sent them my vibes of intent. It worked to get me a contract at Toyota that lasted 2 years. So who knows? It could be really, really cool, anyway.
    That sounds remarkably like The Secret. One of my instructors in college had our class watch it. Essentially, it taught that you had to first envision what you wanted out of life, whether it was money, or a job, or whatever. Of course, it was more substantial than that but that's what it was in a nutshell. What you described sounded like the basis of the message they tried to convey.

    I feel stuck in my job. Not many appear that I'm qualified to do in the IT field, and there have been (and continue to be) cuts, so there's real competition for the slim ones that come along. There are very few places in the area that offer the pay and benefits Cornell offers, so looking elsewhere is practically a waste of time (although I do look).

    I also feel like I should be expanding my expertise, but I'm really struggling with what direction to go in.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #19735
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    Ashley, yay for being a student/mommy for the summer!

    Ashley, yay for back to school and volunteering!

    As Idol goes, not happy at all. Although I agree he was off key this week, still not happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Mandy, I am so sorry that your work is heaping all that worry on you. Are you thinking at all about alternative work? It seems as though there are 2 gaps to fill - the smart and talented people on your job are left feeling very dissatisfied, and the children are left with a lower quality of care. I wonder if there's anything that you and your colleagues who feel the same way can do on your own to fill both of those gaps. Hang in there, girl!
    I've definitely thought about it, but there are a couple of things holding me back. First, the fact that DH is looking for work right now (although he has a second interview on Monday, which I'm excited about, except he really doesn't want the job). I can't quit until one of us has another job lined up.

    Second, since my employer is letting go 50 employees there will be a glut of people with similar qualifications who are looking for work. Still, I'm in a high-demand field and I love the idea of working for myself, but taking on the issues of finding clients, getting reimbursed by insurance companies etc with my husband out of work is just too much of a risk. Another aspect is that currently I'm in the business of providing services that are federally mandated and free to my client. Taking on providing those services for pay means my client base narrows right away, even if it's covered by insurance. Not everyone has insurance as we all sadly realize, and in this economy it's even worse.

    It's sad though, because as Chrissy said, if we don't pay for supporting the kids now we'll pay for it later (and more) through welfare or the jail system. I'd much rather support preschoolers than prisoners but seems like no one in the government "gets" that.

    I told DH I think we should move now if he's thinking about moving. But we don't have all the information yet about that Georgia job.

    And Myles, I hope your visualization strategy works for you. Of course, I hope you don't need it, but you might be ready for a change anyway.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 05-13-2011 at 06:14 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  26. #19736
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    If I visualize well behaved teens, do you think I'd have them? I'm only 1/2 kidding...Jesi pulled her "i'm not coming home tonight" crap again. I called her unapproved-of bf right up and laid the law down. He met me with her at a bank parking lot in less than an hour.

    Again, I told her that she can't go anywhere because she keeps getting in trouble like this. If she wants to go spend the night with her friends, then she has to follow the rules. I had just been thinking about inviting the unapproved-of bf over for bbq's and bon fires this summer...at least as a way of keeping her happy, but also keeping an eye on him at the same time. Trust is earned & all that.

    I feel like I'm winning the most unpopular mother of the year award right now. Poor Sydney was itching to go to Owego (about 30 minutes away) and just walk in downtown like we used to. Of course we couldn't because Jesi wasn't home and we were preoccupied with that. So Sydney gets irritable and I can totally understand why.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  27. #19737
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    I hate that she keeps putting you through all this, Chrissy. It's hard to give her the positives when she keeps ignoring the rules.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  28. #19738

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    What a crap night I had. I dpn't know if it is because dbf was having some drinks or what but he was being so unreasonable! After we got the kids to bed he put in a movie. I was reading my book and he went off on me for reading because A) It's horrible to watch a movie with the light on B)I never pay any attention to him and it's just so terrible that I won't put my book down and watch a movie with him. Oh, and he's angry that I fall asleep almost every time we watch a movie. Then when I responded in anger and disbelief that he was speaking to me that wat he said that I'm mean for not apologizing to him for making him feel ignored.
    Okay. I do not respond well to over dramatized accusations like "you never" nor do I respond well to being told how I am supposed to react to his rantings. I get very defensive and offended.
    And I am sorry but I am effing tired and would rather get a few hours of sleep than force myself to watch and pretend to be interested in movies every night of the week. It's 5:30am on a saturday and I'm up feeding Sawyer for the 4th time since I fell asleep around 10pm.

    I just wish he could be a mature enough man to approach me calm and sober if he has issues with me. He ruined my whole night.

  29. #19739

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    Ps happy birthday ash!

  30. #19740

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    Hmm I don't think my first message went through, **** wireless, anyway, hi! All good here! Miss you guys. Did James go home?

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