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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #19471
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    bridget, sometimes your dbf sounds like my DH, and I have to admit sometimes I feel sorry for mine. I imagine it's hard to keep up with a thoughtful mama like you. If you're responsive to your children's cues and always willing to educate yourself and try new things with your kids, it must seem to daddy that the rules keep changing . It's not an excuse for anyone's laziness or inflexibility. I'm just trying to say that it must be hard to keep up with a mom as dynamic as yourself, and even harder for Mark to earn the adoration of your kids when they compare him to their fabulous mama. It seems like Mark is trying to figure things out, but just not getting the subtleties of your parenting style.
    And how incredibly insightful you are! I imagine there's a lot of truth to this.

    Have a wonderful trip Bridget!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  2. #19472

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    Wow Myles...that was very insightful.

  3. #19473

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    And safe travels, bridge!!

  4. #19474
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Stuff like that happens over here too Bridget. Just the other day DH had gotten up with Josh and I was still in bed. I heard them arguing. Josh said his pants were wet and that he needed to change. DH was trying to tell him his pants weren't wet and that he didn't need to change. After a few seconds of this back and forth, I yelled down, "Just let him change his pants!" I didn't care if his pants were actually wet or not. Why not just let him change if he wants to? DH says well then there will be clean clothes in his laundry. Oh who cares, just take them out when Josh isn't looking!
    Rich will have silly arguments with the kids like that too. Choose your battles! I've been saying that for 18 years (it seems) and I don't know if Rich will ever get it.

    Over the weekend I wanted a count of how many mini-blinds we needed to replace before we moved out. My dogs jump up to look out the window and bend the slats so they're guady looking. Anyway, Bobbie's one window is totally bare. She had a mishap climbing in her window one day after locking herself out, and yanked down the entire miniblind. Something else must have happened since then, because her whole curtain rod was down too.

    Rich was gruff with her asking what happened to it. I heard him say sarcastically, "Yeah, blame Conner." It went on and on and I finally said to him, "Who cares how it got broke? It's broke!! Arguing about it or how it happened won't fix it!" GOD!!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  5. #19475
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    Have fun, Bridget!

  6. #19476

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Rich will have silly arguments with the kids like that too. Choose your battles! I've been saying that for 18 years (it seems) and I don't know if Rich will ever get it.

    Over the weekend I wanted a count of how many mini-blinds we needed to replace before we moved out. My dogs jump up to look out the window and bend the slats so they're guady looking. Anyway, Bobbie's one window is totally bare. She had a mishap climbing in her window one day after locking herself out, and yanked down the entire miniblind. Something else must have happened since then, because her whole curtain rod was down too.

    Rich was gruff with her asking what happened to it. I heard him say sarcastically, "Yeah, blame Conner." It went on and on and I finally said to him, "Who cares how it got broke? It's broke!! Arguing about it or how it happened won't fix it!" GOD!!
    Yep, that kind of stuff happens here, too. Josh even does it now, saying things like "It's not my fault" or "It's your fault"
    It drives me crazy because my mom is like that, always wanting to place blame.

  7. #19477
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    I think that making a big deal about silly things like a bent curtain rod just makes kids not want to accept responsibility. We all make mistakes and stuff gets broken. It doesn't have to be a big deal.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  8. #19478

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    chrissy, I know Overstock.com has some deals on blinds if you can get standard sized ones instead of custom sizes. they just take awhile to arrive sometimes. I've been a-decoratin'.

  9. #19479
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    I'm just hanging the $4 ones from Walmart. That's what our landlord used to replace the nice ones that broke while they still lived there. I figure if they're good enough for them to buy, then that's all I'll do too.

    But I'll keep Overstock in mind for our remodel. I want the wider slats.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #19480

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    My DH likes to have arguments with Elle of all people. She is 2.5, I'm like "what can you possibly argue about with a toddler?" It actually cracks me up. He will get upset because I laugh at him about it. He also will hold grudges against her, which I don't like. Like she won't want to give him a hug because she is grumpy and he'll be like "well I'm not going to hug you later." Like she will even remember that. I remind him not to be 2 years old quite often, then he gets all embarrassed.

    I need to go on overstock. I need a new kitchen table but am afraid of buying something like that online. I also need new curtains and they had some nice pics of curtains but I also am afraid of buying anything of color online, I always think the color will not be exactly like it is in the pic and then I'll be pissed off.

    Erin

  11. #19481
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    She texted me a few minutes ago and says that she's returned to school. Unfortunately, I can't always take her at her word, so I emailed the admin that called me earlier and asked him to confirm that.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  12. #19482

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    I hope she is back at school, Chrissy.
    I don't buy much online either.
    Can I just say....I am so tired of shopping. I'm not even done because I have the stuff for the cruise but it is all kind of dressy and I need some basic things for wearing at home.

  13. #19483
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    She is! The admin emailed me and confirmed. He also said that other students heard what the teacher said and that that will be addressed.

    I hate shopping for any reason.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  14. #19484

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    Oh good, I'm glad she's back.
    I liked the shopping at first, but I keep thinking of things, and I just want to be done with it. I leave in a week.

  15. #19485

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I need to go on overstock. I need a new kitchen table but am afraid of buying something like that online. I also need new curtains and they had some nice pics of curtains but I also am afraid of buying anything of color online, I always think the color will not be exactly like it is in the pic and then I'll be pissed off.

    Erin

    I have to admit that I'm having to find the time to disassemble and box up something I'm returning to Overstock.com, and it's a huge PITA. But they do try to make it as painless as possible, in that they e-mail you a prepaid UPS label, and all you have to do is get your item to a UPS store. I just wish I hadn't thrown out all the boxes and cushiony stuff.

    You're right about the color of things online. It's especially hard to see the true tone of a wooden item you're buying. I'm thrilled with the quality of 90% of the things I buy from them, though.

  16. #19486

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    I'm about to go into a meeting I've been dreading all week. The nerves are mainly from the fact that I have this deep-seated fear of authority figures. I've been meditating on it all week - how the "exec" types who are attending are mostly really intelligent people I've spoken to before, and I can learn from them. But there's this little girl still in me that's afraid of getting in trouble for one reason or another. I'll check back in in 2 hrs to let you know how it went. Eeks!

  17. #19487
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    I do a fairly good amount of shopping online. The colors were slightly different on the shower curtain (couldn't find one in a store because I needed a special size) but pretty close. I even bought my snowblower online because they were sold out locally...nothing like finding out the one given to you is a POS during a 22 inch snow fall!). It was great, i got a good deal on it and didn't have to pay taxes on it. I ordered the nursey set online and likely will get most of the rest of the baby stuff online too. We just don't have a babies r us locally or a store like bed bath beyond....most of that would be in the Twin Cities and I don't want to drive 90 minutes each way.
    Oh and last year I even ordered our faucets online....got a way better price than even the builder could get locally with his discount and I was pretty specific in wanting certain things.
    I was going to buy the elliptical online but found it locally for the same price and they also delivered and assembled it for a price that was worth it to DH so we did it that way.

    I just try to find whatever it is on multiple sites to see how it looks and what the prices are...and try to read as many reviews as possible.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  18. #19488
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    Sending good meeting vibes your way!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #19489
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    I hope it's going well, Myles!

    Cash has been suffering with teething this past week so i've not had much more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night. I will be so thankful when his teeth finally come through.

  20. #19490
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    I hope it's going well, Myles!

    Cash has been suffering with teething this past week so i've not had much more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night. I will be so thankful when his teeth finally come through.

  21. #19491
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    I'm about to go into a meeting I've been dreading all week. The nerves are mainly from the fact that I have this deep-seated fear of authority figures. I've been meditating on it all week - how the "exec" types who are attending are mostly really intelligent people I've spoken to before, and I can learn from them. But there's this little girl still in me that's afraid of getting in trouble for one reason or another. I'll check back in in 2 hrs to let you know how it went. Eeks!
    <--easy meeting vibes!

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I hope it's going well, Myles!

    Cash has been suffering with teething this past week so i've not had much more than 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night. I will be so thankful when his teeth finally come through.
    The teething phase can be the worst, and if they have a hard time with it, it seems to go on and on forever. Just when you think it won't ever end, it does. Hopefully that point comes soon for you.

    I had a good talk with Jesi and men in general. Unfortunately, I had to prepare her for hearing crap like that from men from here on out. Not that what he said was appropriate-it wasn't. And I told her it was ok that she blew up at him. She even admitted to swearing at him, which I understand and didn't say anything to her about. But I did tell her if it happened at work and she got that upset and walked out, it could end up with her losing her job.

    How sad is it that these discussions even have to happen? It's not a part of parenting that I really put too much thought into.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #19492

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    Oh, ugh, Ashley. The teething phase is so hard. It's rough on the little one and it's so hard to watch your little guy suffer. Abbeysmom turned us onto frozen grapes in a mesh feeder. Could you give that a try? I hope it stops hurting your little bug soon!

    I think you're having some really vital conversations with Jesi, Chrissy. Not all mothers out there take the time to boil everything down for their kids. It is sad that we have to teach our kids to protect themselves, and I wonder if moms were having the same types of talks with their daughters a thousand years ago. I suspect they were.

    My meeting didn't go fine, IMO. I felt like I sounded like a stoner. But my boss and her big boss both thought I did great. I'm disappointed that I didn't get more people engaged in the discussion, and there were long awkward pauses, but I guess overall my higher-ups were pleased with the outcome.

  23. #19493
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    Good point...I didn't have a mom to talk to me about such things so I sometimes feel like a fish gasping for air, wondering if I'm touching on all the right topics at the right time. Should I have prepared her better for comments from men? Could I have?

    We're our own worse critics. I'm confident that if your boss and boss's boss thought you did fine, then you did.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #19494
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    ...I sometimes feel like a fish gasping for air, wondering if I'm touching on all the right topics at the right time. Should I have prepared her better for comments from men? Could I have?
    These are rhetorical questions, by the way. Thoughts I wonder to myself all the time.

    My car is falling apart fast. It started making a chunking sound when I turned corners. I was alarmed, but my brother said that it would get a lot worse before it totally broke. I was a bit worried about money because things are going to be very tight for us for the next few months-maybe even this whole year! Today it was chunking while I drove straight, so I have to suck it up and buy an axle shaft before it drops out of the car while I'm going down the road.

    Jesi's weekly appointment is tonight, and it's 30 miles from Ithaca. I'm worried if it will even make it, but I don't want to cancel. The last two appointments were cancelled by them.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  25. #19495
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    As I was going to bed last night, I jokingly said, 'lord, if you are up there, please let my children sleep through tonight.' And they did. Lol. Now I know i'll definitely have to go to a church service while we're in America to say thanks. ;-)

  26. #19496

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    LOL Ash.
    I used to believe in prayer...there were certain silly things as a teen and preteen I'd pray for and some would come true. Maybe I was just lucky. I don't think a god would be particularly interested in making sure I ran into my crush that day. XD
    Sorry about your car Chrissy!

  27. #19497
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    Lol. I used to pray like that, too, Kate.

  28. #19498
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    Me too. I still like Garth Brooke's "sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers" song. Even if you don't believe in God, you still have hopes, dreams, and desires, and sometimes when you don't get what you want, later you find out you were better off anyway.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  29. #19499
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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Good point...I didn't have a mom to talk to me about such things so I sometimes feel like a fish gasping for air, wondering if I'm touching on all the right topics at the right time. Should I have prepared her better for comments from men? Could I have? .
    Really I think that some things just need to be addressed as they come up....and times change and topics change. That teacher was MORE than out of line and not something that you should have seen coming or expected.
    I don't remember my mom talking about comments from men to me....but I have also never experienced that since I have always been overweight and tend to dress more conservatively.

    It would be great to live in a world where we could wear whatever we wanted and not have comments or be judged....but my personal belief is that the world is harsh and unfair and we are judged based on clothes....it's why I dress a certain way for work. It's been shown that if one is dressed in a professional way, they are seen as more competent.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #19500
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    And yeah for sleeping through the night!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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