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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #18991

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ky'sMom View Post
    I hardly ever drink but am nice when I'm drunk as well, nice and horny and sleepy. I'm a triple threat when drunk!

    Erin
    And this. This is a good zinger too. Thank you ladies for making me laugh today. I needed it!

  2. #18992

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    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    I always think James is awesome, but last night he was especially so! Casey did well too.
    I usually like James a lot too, except that week I mentioned I thought his While My Guitar Gently Weeps was a little weak. He was a much stronger singer last night (probably because that song is right up his alley)

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I haven't kept up with AI this year but what i've seen of that Casey, I like. He did a CCR song a few shows ago and I was impressed.
    Yeah, I liked him that night too. I didn't like him when he first started, when he did a lot of growling and looking scary.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    Thought I'd share a pic of my Cash with y'all; he's 7.5 months old now.

    He is so cute!

  3. #18993
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    Ashley, Cash is so adorable!

    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    LOL. Oh, that's so funny! I only wish she had a sense of humor so you'd feel comfortable commenting about this jokingly.
    Oh, she has a great sense of humor. It's just she and my brother are both self-employed (photographer and writer/photo editor/web designer) and things aren't going well right now, so I don't want to say anything that would hit a nerve. This is their website, actually - let me put in a plug for it because I'm super proud of my brother's work although I don't think this has been updated in a while. There's also a link on there to my brother's portfolio which is awesome.


    On an unrelated note, DH bought the truck he's been talking about and had it at the dealership for some repairs. It was finished today and we went out to pick it up (I'm on spring break right now) and then went to lunch. When I went into the restaurant bathroom, I was a little annoyed because (possible TMI) AF is here and there was one trash can placed between two stalls and I didn't like that the person in the next stall could potentially see what I was throwing away, even if I was discreet about it. Then I went to wash my hands and realized the person who had been in the next stall was an 8-9 year old boy. His mother brought him into the ladies' room instead of sending him to the men's room on his own. I had a huge problem with the whole thing - DH said once he was old enough to be in school he used the men's room and 8 was way too old to use the women's room. What do you girls think?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  4. #18994
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    I think 8 is definitely too old to be in opposite sex bathrooms. When we went to Chester zoo a few weeks back, there were signs on the d door that said 7 was the maximum age for that 'as a suggestion.'

    I just had to tell DH to turn the channel on the TV because there was a programme on about a 2 year old who was murdered by two 12 year olds. That story absolutely disturbs me to my core. And what is awful is the two boys are in their 20's now and have new identities. The judicial system in this country is awful.

  5. #18995
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    I think 8 is definitely too old to be in opposite sex bathrooms. When we went to Chester zoo a few weeks back, there were signs on the d door that said 7 was the maximum age for that 'as a suggestion.'

    I just had to tell DH to turn the channel on the TV because there was a programme on about a 2 year old who was murdered by two 12 year olds. That story absolutely disturbs me to my core. And what is awful is the two boys are in their 20's now and have new identities. The judicial system in this country is awful.

  6. #18996
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmeriBrit View Post
    I just had to tell DH to turn the channel on the TV because there was a programme on about a 2 year old who was murdered by two 12 year olds. That story absolutely disturbs me to my core. And what is awful is the two boys are in their 20's now and have new identities. The judicial system in this country is awful.
    That's horrible. They have new identities?
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  7. #18997

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    Mandy - Generally, I think that's probably too old for the kid to go into the ladies room. I only wonder if there was some extenuating circumstance that made the mom uncomfortable with her boy leaving her side. If I saw a creepy guy who looked like a child molester going into the men's room before my son, I'd probably insist he come in with me. But yeah, other than that, I don't know why an 8 yr old can't go into a public restroom alone.

    AmeriAsh, your son is just the cutest little Chumbawumba (in honor of his half-Brit roots). I don't even know what a chumbawumba is, but the word connotes "adorable and squooshy" to me when looking his picture.

  8. #18998
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    Yep. When they got released from 'prison' the government relocated them like the witness protection programme since it was highly likely they'd be dead shortly after release otherwise.

  9. #18999
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    Mandy - Generally, I think that's probably too old for the kid to go into the ladies room. I only wonder if there was some extenuating circumstance that made the mom uncomfortable with her boy leaving her side. If I saw a creepy guy who looked like a child molester going into the men's room before my son, I'd probably insist he come in with me. But yeah, other than that, I don't know why an 8 yr old can't go into a public restroom alone.
    Okay, that is a point I hadn't fully considered and I agree there. Then again, we were at the mall and she could also have taken him to another restroom outside the restaurant, so she did have options. But I agree that if I saw someone creepy, I wouldn't send my son in alone.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  10. #19000

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    I've heard of that happening in England. How awful.
    (the people who did something terrible as children and went on to live normal lives, I mean)
    Last edited by daylilies; 04-21-2011 at 04:42 PM.

  11. #19001
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    I know I've mentioned in here that we are planning to completely re-do the kitchen. When we bought this house it had been stripped (no appliances at all in the kitchen) and the cabinets date to what looks to me like the 1950's (house built in 1938 so in theory it's possible they could be original to the house but I don't think they're that old. Our intention was to rip out the cabinets, install new ones along with new appliances (currently we have a new fridge and are using a very big/high end toaster oven, hot plate, and microwave for cooking). DH just suggested that instead of replacing the cabinets, we replace the doors instead. I agree it would be cheaper, but even the bodies of the cabinets are old and the wood is peeling off. And the cabinets over the fridge come down too far and we have to have the fridge out from the wall, so we might need to replace at least those, anyway. What do you think? It is worth it to save the money to keep the 50-70 year old cabinets?

    I told him we HAVE to replace at least the countertops, and he agreed to that, so we'll still need to make major replacements in there. And the cabinets would have to be completely stripped/sanded and either painted or stained - he says stained because he doesn't like paint on wood. I don't know about staining sanded down poor quality wood.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 04-21-2011 at 04:42 PM.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #19002

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    I actually did spend a good amount of time reading back on all the posts that I missed the past few days. I was majorly derailed by clicking through to all of Katy's amazing eggs. I wouldn't be able to create anything that intricate and beautiful on a regular-sized surface, let alone something as small and delicate an egg. Katy, your patience is astounding. Lately, I've been getting back into 2 hobbies - picture-frame making and painting (since Bodhi's really into playing with paint nowadays). And I'm painfully aware that my aesthetic has everything to do with my lack of patience. Everything I create looks very ... messy and half-done.

    AshEel (that's my new nickname for 10Eels Ashley), I'm so sorry to have learned about your aunt. I hope she's found her peace and your family is there to console one another. However, I am very stoked to hear that you've got a new beau. One of these days, I hope you share a pic of him.


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    kate, every time I hear a NKOTB song or see a band member in the tabloids, I think of you. And I think about the John Mayer cruise where he wore the yellow spandex suit...



    ...but mostly I think of you.

    Speaking of times I think of you guys... Erin, the other day, I was washing my hair with conditioner, just like you'd talked about earlier in the thread. And out of the blue, it dawned on me why it was called "co-washing", because it's "CO nditioner-washing". It was like a lightbulb going off above my head, only I'm glad one didn't because I was in a wet environment at the time and I would have most certainly been electrocuted. I do want you to know that I think of you often in the shower nowadays. LOL.

    Bridget, how are things on the subject with your DBF going off on his own for the wedding in NY? I'm so sorry that he's given you reason to mistrust him. I just hope that after a long, long time you can build up the trust you lost in him. It must be so hard. I struggle with finding a way to even trust my sister anymore, and I can't figure out how just yet. Trust is just so hard to recover once it's lost. I actually am thinking right now if I've ever started trusting someone again after that person lost my trust, and I can't think of one. Then again, I don't often give a person second chances before I do the cutting-off thing, so what do I know. Anyway, I hate it that he makes you nervous. Have a glass of wine for me, ok?

    Chrissy - I was really happy to hear that social services is no longer on your back. Like you said, you have an above-average bond with your children. It doesn't seem right to have them interfering with your parenting when you're clearly very good at it.

    Molly, did Abbey ever turn orange?

    On a serious note, I had another all-out shouting match with DH again at 5 am this morning. It had to do with his extremely unsupportive (read: hostile) attitude towards my breastfeeding. Among the "nicer" things I said to him was that his attitude stems from societal prejudice against extended breastfeeding, that and the notion he has in his head that Bodhi needs to "hurry up and grow out of it already". All my objections are valid, I think. I am embarrassed to admit, though, that I've let DH set restrictions around the times I am "allowed" to BF him. This week, I put my foot down because my kid had a 103.6 fever and wasn't eating anything. Of course, I was going to nurse him ON-DEMAND for comfort AND for the nutrition/hydration/immunity boost. I think my BFing is a leading reason that Bodhi's already almost completely well again.

    Anyway, Bodhi's been growing more intense all around, as he's a toddler and is loud and persistent about what he wants, and his head cold made him crankier than usual this week. DH is pretty much blaming all his toddler-like behavior on me. He believes that my breastfeeding promotes B's dependence on me - as if Bodhi wouldn't have tantrums about something else if he didn't have the boob to rally for.

    So the last 2 nights have been rough because B was sick and particularly insistent on me being in his bed with him at night. I don't mind it one bit, but he's been chanting for the "booby" all night long, and that's been causing DH to fight with me over it. DH has been trying to kick me out of the room, instead of letting me calm Bodhi down through nursing (which would work instantly). I have been stubbornly not letting him take over for me when Bodhi was asking for nothing but mommy.

    Long story short, the fight at 5 am was about all that. On top of it, I'm pretty sure I threw in some latent resentment I have for him re: the utter unfairness with which he handles our finances. However, I said something shamefully hurtful to DH that I realize I didn't mean, although I felt something very close to it at the time. I still have to apologize for saying the overly-harsh stuff. I hope he doesn't take it to mean that my arguments had no merit. That's the problem with arguing with too much force - if you have to apologize about one thing, you run the risk of your opponent interpreting it as you having been wrong about everything.

    Well, that's all ladies. Oh, except I'm happy to report I finally finished painting the kitchen a whole month after I started it ... with and without pants on. It'll be nice to not have to look at blue painter's tape (and that awful wallpaper) anymore.

    Thanks for reading my really long post again.
    Last edited by demigraf; 04-21-2011 at 04:51 PM.

  13. #19003

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I know I've mentioned in here that we are planning to completely re-do the kitchen. When we bought this house it had been stripped (no appliances at all in the kitchen) and the cabinets date to what looks to me like the 1950's (house built in 1938 so in theory it's possible they could be original to the house but I don't think they're that old. Our intention was to rip out the cabinets, install new ones along with new appliances (currently we have a new fridge and are using a very big/high end toaster oven, hot plate, and microwave for cooking). DH just suggested that instead of replacing the cabinets, we replace the doors instead. I agree it would be cheaper, but even the bodies of the cabinets are old and the wood is peeling off. And the cabinets over the fridge come down too far and we have to have the fridge out from the wall, so we might need to replace at least those, anyway. What do you think? It is worth it to save the money to keep the 50-70 year old cabinets?
    If you can re-use the doors when you eventually replace the cabinets, then I would go for it. However, unless you use an independent cabinet maker when you finally do replace the bodies, I don't think you'll be able to purchase just cabinets without the doors at a significant savings compared to entire cabinets with doors on them. So in that sense, it might be best to bite the bullet now and replace them.

  14. #19004
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    Sorry to hear about your fight, Myles.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  15. #19005

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    OMG, it's the Borat outfit! My eyes!
    I'm sorry you've been fighting with DH about bfing. That makes me sad.

  16. #19006
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    If you can re-use the doors when you eventually replace the cabinets, then I would go for it. However, unless you use an independent cabinet maker when you finally do replace the bodies, I don't think you'll be able to purchase just cabinets without the doors at a significant savings compared to entire cabinets with doors on them. So in that sense, it might be best to bite the bullet now and replace them.
    I imagine DH is picturing that down the road we would replace them with complete new cabinets rather than trying to salvage the newer doors. But yes, that's almost like a second renovation in there so it's almost worse.

    He's feeling anxious over what he just spent on the truck and looking for ways to cut costs, but if we want to rent this house out we have to have a presentable kitchen. It isn't an option.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  17. #19007
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    OMG, it's the Borat outfit! My eyes!
    Yes, that hurt my eyes too!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  18. #19008
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    Sorry, I'll have to go back and respond to other posts later. I saw this one from Mandy and had to put in my 2 cents.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    On an unrelated note, DH bought the truck he's been talking about and had it at the dealership for some repairs. It was finished today and we went out to pick it up (I'm on spring break right now) and then went to lunch. When I went into the restaurant bathroom, I was a little annoyed because (possible TMI) AF is here and there was one trash can placed between two stalls and I didn't like that the person in the next stall could potentially see what I was throwing away, even if I was discreet about it. Then I went to wash my hands and realized the person who had been in the next stall was an 8-9 year old boy. His mother brought him into the ladies' room instead of sending him to the men's room on his own. I had a huge problem with the whole thing - DH said once he was old enough to be in school he used the men's room and 8 was way too old to use the women's room. What do you girls think?
    Years ago I had too much time on my hands mid-day and watched too much Court TV. One of the cases I watched beginning to end was of an early 20's man that walked into the restroom of a park and came up behind a young boy (8-10?) and slit his throat while he was standing at the urinal. His mom was standing directly outside the door.

    I was horrified, of course, and ever grateful that I had girls. Now, I have a boy and I can promise you that Conner will not be going in any public restroom alone. Well...at some point I'll have to let him but most definitely NOT at 8. I'll try to find a family bathroom, or a bathroom that just has 1 toilet in it, but if I can't then people are just going to have to deal.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  19. #19009

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    Speaking of eye-pain ... OMG, Lydia, I finally got around to googling that stuff about our flying friends from the Jurassic/Cretaceous period. Unsettling, but amusing all the same. I'm not sorry that you shared it with us.

  20. #19010
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    Quote Originally Posted by demigraf View Post
    On a serious note, I had another all-out shouting match with DH again at 5 am this morning. It had to do with his extremely unsupportive (read: hostile) attitude towards my breastfeeding. Among the "nicer" things I said to him was that his attitude stems from societal prejudice against extended breastfeeding, that and the notion he has in his head that Bodhi needs to "hurry up and grow out of it already". All my objections are valid, I think. I am embarrassed to admit, though, that I've let DH set restrictions around the times I am "allowed" to BF him. This week, I put my foot down because my kid had a 103.6 fever and wasn't eating anything. Of course, I was going to nurse him ON-DEMAND for comfort AND for the nutrition/hydration/immunity boost. I think my BFing is a leading reason that Bodhi's already almost completely well again.

    Anyway, Bodhi's been growing more intense all around, as he's a toddler and is loud and persistent about what he wants, and his head cold made him crankier than usual this week. DH is pretty much blaming all his toddler-like behavior on me. He believes that my breastfeeding promotes B's dependence on me - as if Bodhi wouldn't have tantrums about something else if he didn't have the boob to rally for.

    So the last 2 nights have been rough because B was sick and particularly insistent on me being in his bed with him at night. I don't mind it one bit, but he's been chanting for the "booby" all night long, and that's been causing DH to fight with me over it. DH has been trying to kick me out of the room, instead of letting me calm Bodhi down through nursing (which would work instantly). I have been stubbornly not letting him take over for me when Bodhi was asking for nothing but mommy.

    Long story short, the fight at 5 am was about all that. On top of it, I'm pretty sure I threw in some latent resentment I have for him re: the utter unfairness with which he handles our finances. However, I said something shamefully hurtful to DH that I realize I didn't mean, although I felt something very close to it at the time. I still have to apologize for saying the overly-harsh stuff. I hope he doesn't take it to mean that my arguments had no merit. That's the problem with arguing with too much force - if you have to apologize about one thing, you run the risk of your opponent interpreting it as you having been wrong about everything.
    I wish he was more supportive about breastfeeding. I don't understand why anyone has issues with it, especially parents. Poor Bodhi..I hope the discussions don't stress him out.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #19011
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I know I've mentioned in here that we are planning to completely re-do the kitchen. When we bought this house it had been stripped (no appliances at all in the kitchen) and the cabinets date to what looks to me like the 1950's (house built in 1938 so in theory it's possible they could be original to the house but I don't think they're that old. Our intention was to rip out the cabinets, install new ones along with new appliances (currently we have a new fridge and are using a very big/high end toaster oven, hot plate, and microwave for cooking). DH just suggested that instead of replacing the cabinets, we replace the doors instead. I agree it would be cheaper, but even the bodies of the cabinets are old and the wood is peeling off. And the cabinets over the fridge come down too far and we have to have the fridge out from the wall, so we might need to replace at least those, anyway. What do you think? It is worth it to save the money to keep the 50-70 year old cabinets?

    I told him we HAVE to replace at least the countertops, and he agreed to that, so we'll still need to make major replacements in there. And the cabinets would have to be completely stripped/sanded and either painted or stained - he says stained because he doesn't like paint on wood. I don't know about staining sanded down poor quality wood.
    I nearly could have written this post. My cabinets aren't that old, but they're...awful. I tried to paint them when I was in my mid 20's and did a horrible job on them. I don't think we're going to have the option of replacing them though, so sanding and painting it will be for us. I hope hope hope I can do a better job this time. I'm not good at this stuff at all. I feel sick and anxious when I think about it because we're hoping to rent or sell, so doing a sh1t job isn't an option. But paying someone else to do it isn't either.

    We're trying to decide on replacing the doors, or sanding/painting the current ones too. I guess we can try it and if they're really bad, we'll just buy new doors (?). I saw a show on HGTV where they had painted the cabinets one color and the doors were something else and it didn't look bad. But again, you have to have an eye for such things, which I do not.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  22. #19012
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    Not replacing the doors on our cabinets isn't an option. The wood is distorted and not even straight. I should take a pic ... they're horrible.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  23. #19013
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    I think there are 2, maybe 3, doors that were ruined. The centers are a cheaper, thinner board and they got wet somehow and warped/cracked really bad. I believe it just happened to the two by the sink from when the girls used to hand wash the dishes.

    Anyway, we discussed replacing the centers, either with some other board of the same thickness or with glass and putting them in a cabinet where we can display our china. I really can't remember what condition the doors really are in though, so we may just opt to get new doors altogether.

    We definitely have to replace the counter tops and back-splash too. What's in there is the old Formica that was put in when the house was built in '68.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  24. #19014
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    Okay, I got out my camera.

    Here is the inside of the cabinet doors:


    And the outside of the cabinet base:


    And, for good measure, DH's new/old redneck truck:
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  25. #19015
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    Nice truck!

    A couple of our doors look like that, but like I said we're hoping we'll be able to work around them.

    My problem is that I can get what I think is a great scheme in my head and buy the exact colors that are portrayed in the pictures, but then it just doesn't look good at all once I've done it. I simply have no artistic eye...and frankly, I don't like it. I'm not crafty and don't desire to me. I need to do something with our house and feel tremendous pressure to make it look good. I have no confidence in myself to be able to pull it off though.

    I need to rent an APA mom to decorate for me. If only I could afford to!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #19016
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    Chrissy, I could have written THAT post!

    And I thought you'd enjoy the redneck truck! ;)
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  27. #19017
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    Very much! Our neighbor has a similar one...he has the small size. Dakota I think? Your dh's looks like the full size one. ?

    I'm feeling extremely cranky right now. Sydney has been whining about her phone for a couple weeks. It's a cheap Juke and on its last leg, but there's not much I can do about it. I could get her a free phone if I renew our contract, but with our house/mortgage being up in the air and not really knowing where we're going, I don't want to sign another 2 year contract. Our cell bill is $250/month. After June, if things get tight, I can cancel it. I want to keep it that way, at least till we get our mortgage caught up in Feb (if we go that route).

    Anyway, today she tells me she dropped it in the toilet. I suspect it was on purpose. We have a really, really old cell phone that I activated temporarily, but it seems to be having a hard time charging. She's pressuring me about when I can buy her another phone off ebay...and I'm feeling like I just can't. We need to save everything we have to put into our old house. It's going to be so tight from Jun-Feb. She's upset with me. I'm just feeling miserable about everything.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  28. #19018
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    I wouldn't feel bad about it, Chrissy. If she did it on purpose, she should learn that that's not an acceptable way to force your hand and get her way. At least, that's what I would have been told at that age. Not that I wouldn't feel bad inside, too.

    DH's is the full size. It's a 1 ton and runs on diesel, so as he tells me the engine will last forever and it gets better mileage than a gas truck would. It hope he's right. We did need a truck, since no one in the family has one, but I wasn't expecting quite that much truck!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #19019
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    I have a hard time with calling my kids out if I suspect they're lying. The only reason I think she might be is because she had been having troubles with it recently. I think it's worse to accuse a child of lying when they're not than it is to 'play the fool.' For a while at least. The truth generally comes out eventually anyway. So, I feel bad because I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

    What he says about diesel engines is true. I think I was fed a healthy helping of that spiel at least once a week my entire life. My father was a mechanic when I was really little...co-owned a garage with his father and brother. And now my husband and brother are heavy into car stuff.

    Having a truck is a real convenience. We've made the decision that Rich's has to go. It needs work and we don't have the money to put in it. Every day he brings up another 'reason' to have a truck. I finally snapped at him yesterday and said, "Well just keep the **** thing then" because I was sick of hearing about it and feeling bad. He backed off and admitted it does need to go. It's just hard for him. I know that, but gosh, I'm dealing with enough. I can't worry about his attachment to his darn truck too. I sold my first convertible that my father bought me 2 years ago due to money reasons. He can't tell me I haven't ever sacrificed.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #19020
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    In my head
    Posts
    11,966

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    Sorry, Chrissy. I know it sucks. And I understand about giving her the benefit of the doubt.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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