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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #17851
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Mandy, how normal is it to play around with words and voices at age 3 1/2? I have always assumed it's WNL, and maybe just extra creative, but we've been having to tell Ronin to speak in a normal voice more often because sometimes he's just that difficult to understand due to affectation and sometimes because (there, I said it) it's annoying. He speaks completely clearly when he uses his normal voice, has good diction, has an excellent vocabulary and decent grammar considering his age, but sometimes he'll start drawling, or sometimes he'll get this cutesy accent, or sometimes he'll try to talk like he's a cockatoo. And then he'll play around with words, a lot of times just rhyming them or changing a syllable. Sometimes it's quite sophisticated, sometimes it's not, and sometimes it's combined with the accent and makes him very difficult to understand. He reverts to normal speech when we ask him.


  2. #17852

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    Oh, Josh does something like that too. I can't remember the specific word he uses but he drops the R sound at the end of something (like a harsh Boston accent, which we don't have!) I don't try to correct him, because he doesn't do it often and I can still understand him.

  3. #17853
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    Conner will make up words sometimes. I'll ask him what he wants and he'll say a "dooblagar" and laugh like he's told the funniest joke known to man.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  4. #17854
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    Mandy, how normal is it to play around with words and voices at age 3 1/2? I have always assumed it's WNL, and maybe just extra creative, but we've been having to tell Ronin to speak in a normal voice more often because sometimes he's just that difficult to understand due to affectation and sometimes because (there, I said it) it's annoying. He speaks completely clearly when he uses his normal voice, has good diction, has an excellent vocabulary and decent grammar considering his age, but sometimes he'll start drawling, or sometimes he'll get this cutesy accent, or sometimes he'll try to talk like he's a cockatoo. And then he'll play around with words, a lot of times just rhyming them or changing a syllable. Sometimes it's quite sophisticated, sometimes it's not, and sometimes it's combined with the accent and makes him very difficult to understand. He reverts to normal speech when we ask him.
    Actually it's very normal if not advanced. Rhyming and word play are very important pre-literacy skills so will serve him well when it comes time to learn to read. Same with Claire's nonsense words. The voices are normal, too, but I can see how it would become annoying at times. If you really can't understand him, just let him know that in a neutral way. Ronin is smart enough that he'll learn when it is and isn't okay if he hears that consistently. Sounds like that's what you're doing anyway. You could even explain to him "voices are fun when playing, but if you want me to know what you are saying you have to talk in a regular voice/big boy voice/etc."

    ETA: The voices themselves are a form of perspective taking, which is also a good thing in terms of play skills although like you said it can happen at inappropriate times and places. The clinical term for it is "register."
    Last edited by Gwenn; 03-13-2011 at 12:20 AM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #17855
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    Travis does the voices thing, too. His current one is trying to sound like Elmo since we watch Sesame Street online.

  6. #17856

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    Hi duedes! I've missed you. Guess what????? PREGNANT! Due November 19. I'm so excited. yayayayayayay.

    So....how are you all?
    Norah! (3 yr)

  7. #17857
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    Maggie!!!!!! Congratulations! I've missed you too. I hope this means you'll come by more often.


  8. #17858

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    Maggie! How are you? Congrats! His/her birthday will be close to Josh's!

  9. #17859

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    I'm having a bad day.
    DH and Josh just left for MIL's house and I have plans later so I stayed here and we had a fight before he left. Josh said his shoes hurt and DH was trying to tell him they didn't. It just really bothered me. He threw it back in my face saying "Well that book you gave me told me kids will say things to get what they want." I replied "Yes, you're right. He doesn't want his shoes to hurt so he said they hurt." I just didn't really get why he thought Josh would say his shoes hurt just to get attention. I mean yes I can tell when he's being dramatic, but he was really upset that his shoes hurt. Once DH backed off, Josh fixed his shoes and it was fine. I just don't get this whole act DH puts on about how much fun he and Josh have together. It seems like he just treats Josh like crap. I mean no matter what age, you don't try to deny how someone feels.

    Then, I went to check the meetup page for a spa thing I'm doing with my womens group later and I noticed some of my comments had been deleted. Someone had said to bring snacks and drinks for us and the staff and I didn't understand that so I said "We have to bring snacks for the staff too?" just to clarify, and the woman pointed out that the spa was closing just for our group and that "it would be nice to bring enough food and drinks to share with them". Well I wasn't aware they were closing for our group. So I went back today to double check the time and location and I noticed that whole exchange was deleted. So now I'm embarrassed for unintentionally causing drama or whatever and now everyone thinks I'm a stingy *****. Great. I guess I could have asked more tactfully but frankly I'm a little skeptical about a bunch of women drinking wine and then giving us massages, mani/pedis and facials.

  10. #17860
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    Congratulations Maggie! How exciting

    Kate, I agree with you on both points. I find it odd that your dh even questioned Josh when he said his shoes hurt. And I'd have 2nd thoughts too about providing those things to the staff as well. Don't most places have rules about drinking alcohol while working?

    I'm having a terrible day too. Jessica shaved her head into a mohawk. I know it's just hair and it'll, but this is one area where I'm a bit conservative and the girls have all known that doing something like that was against the rules. I'm livid.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  11. #17861
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    Congrats, Maggie! Nice to see you in here!

    Kate, I'd be annoyed about both of those things, too.

    Chrissy, yikes.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 03-13-2011 at 10:59 AM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  12. #17862
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    Congratulations, Maggie!

    Kate, that does sound awkward. Hopefully you'll go and have a good time though?

    Chrissy, oh dear. What's gonna happen now?

  13. #17863
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    Congratulations, Maggie!

    Kate, that does sound awkward. Hopefully you'll go and have a good time though?

    Chrissy, oh dear. What's gonna happen now?

  14. #17864
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    There was a lot of screaming (on my part) and I took her phone and computer away. She had the nerve to ask me if she could go to a friend's house a few minutes ago but I scoffed at that. She's grounded, but I'm too angry to even think of an appropriate time frame. It's not about the hair, it's about her setting out and specifically going against something we've both told her she could not do. I don't care if she agrees or not, we're still her parents and she must listen to us...or suffer consequences.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  15. #17865

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    See, that's how I feel about Josh and how he doesn't listen...I feel like even if he thinks the request is silly, he should obey because we set the rules. But obviously there's a huge difference between him and a teenage girl. Or is there? LOL
    I had a good time at the spa. I liked the women who showed up. I just don't feel like I'm really part of the group. I'm in the wrong age bracket and I'm not divorced and bitter. It's still nice to get out though. The facial was lovely and the ones who got massages were coming back all wobbly kneed and blissed out.

  16. #17866
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    Well when Bobbie and Jessica were 3 and 4 they cut their hair. I was shocked, but laughed it off. I didn't expect them to listen at that age like I do now. They're definitely old enough to know better. If Conner were to cut his hair I would be upset, but not on the same level.

    at your comment about not being a bitter divorcee! I know the type....I probably wouldn't fit in well with them either.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  17. #17867
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    We just had a pretty intense moment. I can't even recall how it started, but Jesi and Rich were really going at it about her hair. Rich was saying some cringe-worthy things and I was debating whether or not to jump in as I hate contradicting him in front of the kids. I really believe in the whole united front from the parents, especially when dealing with teens, but he was saying that she was an embarrassment and he didn't want to be seen with her. I was just about to say something to him when Jessica shot back at him...I can't remember what she said but it was really disrespectful and argumentative and before I knew what was going on Rich got up in her face. He was aggressive and I was even taken aback...she backed against a wall and he was pointing in her face. I think his fingertip even hit her nose. Bobbie got involved and was screaming at Rich that he was not going to abuse her sister. Ugh.

    Let me be clear-I was right there and he didn't hit her or abuse her in any way...but it was intense and frightening. I just don't know what they expect because they're both just doing their own thing and then lashing out at us when there are consequences. After a few minutes went by I did go to Jesi's room where they both were and said as much. I don't feel like we have unreasonable expectations, and if we say they cannot cut their hair into a mohawk but then they do, there WILL be consequences for it. It doesn't matter if they understand or agree or not, they don't have control over what goes on in this house.

    It's not really about the hair. Jesi's drug use and running away, plus stuff Bobbie has done that I haven't even mentioned on here...it's really feeling like everything is spiraling out of control and those two are the root of it all. Jesi was crying and saying that I wouldn't let her go anywhere...but gosh, I did let her go out to a dance and then last week the school called because she missed her 1st two classes. Am I wrong in feeling like I can't trust her? If she had just let her teachers know she was sick, I wouldn't have been called. She has to take responsibility here.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  18. #17868

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    I'm sorry Chrissy that must have been scary.

  19. #17869
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    Chrissy, I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  20. #17870
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    Thanks. I'm just at a loss as to what to do. I haven't ridden their butts about the stunts they've pulled and Rich has really kept his cool until tonight. There's a part of me that wonders if I've been too easy on them.

    Bobbie isn't upset with me, and I did get after her too about interfering and having to deal with the consequences, but Jesi is shut in her room. I feel like no matter what we do, we're going to lose.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  21. #17871
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    Chrissy, if it helps at all I agree with you that there should be consequences. She doesn't have to like it, but she does need to learn that there are limits. It's better for her to learn it now than as an adult when the repercussions are so much more intense.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  22. #17872
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    Thanks Mandy, it does help. It sucks though. I hate being a hardass.

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  23. #17873

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    I think you are right to be angry.

  24. #17874
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    I just bought DH's plane ticket for FL to AZ!
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  25. #17875
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    Yay Mandy! Happy news!

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  26. #17876

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    -
    Last edited by AbbeysMom; 03-13-2011 at 10:06 PM.



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  27. #17877

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gwenn View Post
    I just bought DH's plane ticket for FL to AZ!



    lost our bean to Triploidy Sep 2010

  28. #17878
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    That's great news, Mandy.

    I think you're doing the right thing, Chrissy, but I know it's got to be so hard, especially with teenagers!

  29. #17879
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    Good morning ladies! Let's hope we all have a wonderful week.

    Bridget, you've been quiet...how's the kiddlins?

    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  30. #17880

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    I'm worried about the united front thing too. DH and I already disagree on everything, as I have posted in the past. I don't know how we're ever going to come together as a united front. Josh already does the thing where he asks me for something and if I say no he asks DH

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