Secular Confessions

[demigraf]

We have to compromise over here too on the message we send on food. Steve's a lot like Rich and refuses "to be a short order cook". I'm way more relaxed about Bodhi's eating habits because a) he's a toddler, and is so active that it's normal for him to be more interested in stuff that's not on his plate, b) he still gets boobs, so at least there's some nutrition there, and c) I don't want Bodhi to form any sort of irrational associations with food. If he grows up to eat when he's hungry, and he gravitates towards the sort of healthy things he's offered now, and if he doesn't grow up thinking "good boys" clean their plates or that what he eats is any sort of reflection on his moral character, I'll have succeeded in that area.

[The10Eels]

So... not to change the subject... but B's mom got me a target gift card for christmas.... I can't decide if I want to use it towards a new digital camera, or a kindle....

[daylilies]

I love my kindle, but I also want one of those tiny digital cameras.
I really love that you can sample any book before you buy it, and there are a lot of free books, too. I'm still paying with a $75 gift card though!

[stash]

Where's Bridget? Am I a broken record or what? :-p

[daylilies]

Where's Bridget? Am I a broken record or what? :-p

I was just wondering the same thing!

[daylilies]

Ahahaha Stacy, I just noticed your African American quadruplets in your siggy. Congrats!

[Bridget]

Just got home from my midwife appt. Well, and dinner with dad and grocery shopping. So not in labor. And my midwives say my due date was yesterday. Hm. I thought it was wednesday. Not that a day or two is here nor there.
Turns out I wasn't supposed to be taking my probiotics anymore but I didn't know that. Supposedly it can delay labor? So..I'm making a tea concoction now and just took some evening primrose oil.
Come on BABY!!

[missychrissy]

Hopefully soon Bridget!

I remember the first time I saw Stacy's triplets...I thought she was really having 3 babies lol

[intactivstmom]

I always want to send my dh out to teach other men how to be better dads. Dh is so helpful and sweet with Robbie. Robbie has been a difficult eater lately (throwing his food off his tray, trying to feed his food to Chabo, and he can't figure out if he wants us to feed him or if he wants to feed himself or if he even wants to eat). Dh has gotten impatient and really frustrated with him, but he tries not to let Robbie see how upset he is.

He was supposed to work an extended week next week so he could take a training class on Tuesday, but he moved his extended week to this week which will cut his visit with his dad, who is coming from out of state, short. He did this so he could go to the "It takes two to communicate" class our early intervention is having next week for parents of kids with speech delays. I love that he is so involved with Robbie's EI care.

I'm sorry if I'm being rude by having a little mini-brag while you guys are ranting.

[Cosmosmom]

haven't tried it yet but we have talked about food and eating and well when you are planning for parenting for like 6 years....that is a lot of talking. We both have weight issues so food is something we have talked about. I refuse to be a short order cook....I grew up as a VERY picky eater and often a family of four was having 3-4 different meals. Not cool and I refuse to go there. But I also don't believe in cleaning the plate. We don't eat anything very weird and I'm still awfully picky so I figure that our kid can have what we are having or chose to wait until the next meal. I really don't want to create a picky eater like my dad or sister or create food issues. Seriously when my dad visits we have culvers and pizza...that is basically about all he will eat. My sister is a bit better but not by much. And than we have DH's uncle who is coming to visit soon and he won't touch anything with onions (not even cooked into things like soup or next to a roast). I'm tired of catering to picky eaters!

[missychrissy]

What's ironic is my kids aren't picky eaters at all. I said they always have a choice, but they rarely choose to eat something else. Bobbie became a vegetarian about 2-3 years ago so I do buy special for her, but she cooks her own dinner. If Conner decides he doesn't like what we're having, he has a bowl of cereal. imo, it's not that big of a deal to make a bowl of cereal, and either Rich or his sisters will often help out if I'm busy cooking dinner.

Jessica didn't eat cheese from ages 4-15. Nothing cheese...no pizza, mac and cheese, absolutely nothing. She hated it. The rest of us love cheese, especially pizza, so we had it often. I don't think it's fair to cook something you know your child doesn't like and tell them, "Eat this or go hungry." I'd never do that.

In the last year or 2, she did start eating pizza but she's still choosy about what cheese dish she'll eat. And that's ok, 'cause like I said there's a lot of things adults won't eat so why should kids be treated differently?

[Bridget]

I totally agree, Chrissy. I encourage my kids to eat what I make but I know what they don't like and wouldn't ever say for them to eat what they don't like or go hungry.
Now if it's something that I know they normally like but they're just ticked off because they'd rather have pb&j...sorry kiddos.

[daylilies]

I'm sorry if I'm being rude by having a little mini-brag while you guys are ranting.

Not at all--it's good to hear they aren't all bad

haven't tried it yet but we have talked about food and eating and well when you are planning for parenting for like 6 years....that is a lot of talking. We both have weight issues so food is something we have talked about. I refuse to be a short order cook....I grew up as a VERY picky eater and often a family of four was having 3-4 different meals. Not cool and I refuse to go there. But I also don't believe in cleaning the plate. We don't eat anything very weird and I'm still awfully picky so I figure that our kid can have what we are having or chose to wait until the next meal. I really don't want to create a picky eater like my dad or sister or create food issues. Seriously when my dad visits we have culvers and pizza...that is basically about all he will eat. My sister is a bit better but not by much. And than we have DH's uncle who is coming to visit soon and he won't touch anything with onions (not even cooked into things like soup or next to a roast). I'm tired of catering to picky eaters!

My mom used to make things she knew I didn't like. She used to try to disguise everything with cheese. I have always loved cheese. So she'd make stuff like corn and cherry tomatoes smothered in cheese (it had kind o a Mexican vibe) and I'd pick off the cheese. To this day I hate corn! I won't eat corn in anything, kind of like the onion thing. DH hates onions, but I honestly don't miss them. I just miss the smell of them cooking
I always make things I think Josh will like, but sometimes he's just stubborn. And he's pulling this "I have a tummy ache" fib. I know it's a lie because he says it and then in the next breath he'll say "Can I have a snack?"

[missychrissy]

With Conner I've found that he simply won't eat when he's upset, and who can blame him? When I get angry or am crying, the last thing I want to do is eat. I just put his food in the fridge until later.

[Cosmosmom]

well we do have a night or two a week we call scrounge night and have different things. i wouldn't force someone to eat something they absolutely hated. Just don't plan to make 3 meals every night.

[daylilies]

Speaking of picky...my husband is pretty bad. He won't eat anything off a menu if he doesn't immediately recognize what it is (like if it says it's a cut of meat or sauce he doesn't recognize, he won't order it, unless I can convince him it's something he'd like) Forget things in a different language, like if we go out for Italian and it's all common stuff, but in Italian, he's immediately turned off. I think it's because his mom cooked pretty much common American food and their idea of a fancy restaurant is Outback steakhouse.

[AmeriBrit]

I'm the same as Chrissy and Bridget when it comes to food. My DH grew up a very picky eater and my MIL says it made their lives hard. He's not so bad any more since he met me.

Myles, meant to mention earlier that craft I am working on is actually a short memoir type story for my cousin Amy. We grew up together and were best friends for a long time.

[AmeriBrit]

I'm the same as Chrissy and Bridget when it comes to food. My DH grew up a very picky eater and my MIL says it made their lives hard. He's not so bad any more since he met me.

Myles, meant to mention earlier that craft I am working on is actually a short memoir type story for my cousin Amy. We grew up together and were best friends for a long time.

[missychrissy]

just a little vent here...when I first got this job, I accidently put Conner's dob as 9/21/06 instead of the 25th. My excuse is there was a ton of paperwork, and Jess's bday is 9/21/94. I just got confused on 1 form.

Since then, I've had to fax or email a copy of Conner's birth certificate to the HR office every January because they mess things up with our insurance and change the date back to the 21st. I was on the phone with a HR person and she was insisting that they have never received a copy of his birth certificate. Ironically, I had a copy of the email I sent last year and it was to the person who was insisting I never sent it. I asked her if she'd like me to forward it.

/rant. I'm just not in the mood today.

[Bridget]

Chrissy, that is so annoying when people blame you for their mistakes.

My mom used to make me finish my food and I remember making myself puke when she tried to force me to eat spaghetti and also remember sitting at the table by myself for hours just staring at my untouched food. I swore from, like, age 10 that I'd never do that for my kids.
I've also never had to cook different meals. Since each meal consists of a variety of things, there's always something they will eat. And if it's just the fruit and toast they eat, then I'll grab a handful of nuts so they get some protein. It's not like I get up and make them a chicken stir fry when we're having cheeseburgers. As long as they get something healthy in their bellies then we're all good. My kids go through phases of being really picky and being open to trying anything. It might sound crazy but I actually believe that because we eat such a whole foods diet that my kids bodies know what they need and will crave what they are missing because they aren't confused by artificial ingredients/fillers. Like, as soon as I worry that Kai hasn't really had vegetables for a couple of day, he'll eat a bunch of radishes or some spinach, like by the handful.

[missychrissy]

I've often wondered why kids don't crave vegetables because mine have always had healthy appetites for them. Sure, there are some things they won't eat (Conner isn't fond of onions) but he'll eat broccoli till I get concerned they'll give him a belly ache! At a Christmas party last year (2009) my kids were scarfing off the veggie tray while all the other kids were getting cookies. Not that mine won't eat cookies, they do but they'll only have 1 or 2.

[missychrissy]

I really believe that making strict rules about food and dinner time is what creates finicky eaters. At least, that's been my experience. Just because Jessica doesn't like cheese and Bobbie opted to be a vegetarian, I don't consider them finicky. Bobbie is willing (and does) learn to cook for herself and I think that's a great thing. She's always trying new stuff. And Jess with the cheese, well Rich wasn't fond of it when I met him and neither is his father to this day. I blame that on heredity.

[daylilies]

Josh likes some really weird things. On two different occasions he ate so much bluefish pate, and a spicy nut spread that my mom made, that he didn't have room for the main meal. He also likes sushi.
Chrissy, if it makes you feel better, when I was signing up for my business license there was a spot to print and then sign your name. I printed my maiden name, then signed my married name That sucks they screw it up every year though.

[daylilies]

Oh and what bothers me is when he tells me what he wants to eat, and then doesn't eat it. How I am supposed to get around that?

[missychrissy]

I'd just save it for later. Sometimes they'll make a stink about something just because they know they can get a rise out of you. If you act like it's no big deal, they've lost their little bit of control.

[daylilies]

I'll try that
So I got the Jim Carrey Christmas Carol from the library since I forgot to rent it around Christmas and I didn't want to wait until next year, so I figured what the heck. I thought it would be too creepy for Josh, so I was going to watch it one night when DH was doing something else, but Josh wanted to watch it one day. I thought about how Connor doesn't mind horror movies so I let him watch it. And we've watched it 3 times in the past few days. LOL I think we might need to buy it. It's definitely the creepiest rendition I've seen. I think it bothered me more than Josh! I think it's pretty good though, despite the mixed reviews!

[missychrissy]

Sweet, glad he liked it!! I haven't heard of that movie.

[daylilies]

I think it came out last year, it's Disney, one of those animated things like Beowulf and the Polar Express--I don't think the animated people are that great looking, but I loved some of the other effects, and the way they did the ghosts is very creepy!

[Cosmosmom]

I really like a lot of how I was raised...but the one issue I have is my mom letting my dad's picky eating rub onto us. He would say ew and gross....so of course we wouldn't each much. I HATE being so picky and have gotten so much better over the years....but am still picky. I won't do fish/seafood, miracle whip/mayo, sour cream, bacon, salad dressings, brats, sausages, beans I'm eh on and really only tried a couple of times now, many veggies I haven't had before like squash, radishes....
It was really hard to eat at someone's house and even hard at times to go in a restaurant and not feel stupid about being so picky. I wouldn't eat homemade chicken soup because of the veggies and onions until I was in my 20's and wow, what I missed. Even as little as six years ago, I wouldn't even touch a green pepper to chop it up for DH....again wow, what I missed as stuffed peppers and goulash are my favorites now. I never had chinese until I was 19 and only had it because I was with a guy and was hungry enough to try. I didn't have a taco until a few dates into it with DH and I didn't want to admit how picky I was and he drove us to taco bell and I was really hungry so I gave it a try.

It is so hard to be in your 20's and 30's and now trying to change your eating habits and try new things after being so set in your ways.

DH isn't picky...his mom beat mine on that one! He sat down with the family and had what they were having and if it was something he didn't like, he would just eat more of the sides and a try a bit of it (like meatloaf was one he mentioned...another thing I have never had before). He wasn't forced to eat anything...and really if he was still hungry a bit, it's not like it's that long until the next meal.

What we do is take turns picking out the meals. I love sloppy joes, he's not a fan of them but figures it's not always going to be his favorite and i do the same for him for things like pork. I realize that I can't have spaghetti every night like I would like.
And than a lot of the meals are things that can be prepped to your liking like salads or tacos...which we both do differently.

Forcing eating, that is just awful and sad. That we would never do (and we don't eat desert so wouldn't be one who would say eat your veggies to get desert)....and if we did have a genetic kid, well both sides of the family tend to be overweight so it's in the genes. If our kid is not genetic...well that is still mean. Eating should be fun and enjoyable and something that the family does together. And once in a while I might play short order cook...but for the most part, there is enough variety on the table that I do not see that happening. Too much work and time involved for that.
Plus at least we set a better example than my dad did...a lot of my won't touch list is not good for you anyway and I like my veggies now. Our favorites are tomatoes, broccoli and brussel sprouts. Broccoli, I usually make four cups just for the two of us and Cosmo...and we have that several times a week. And I just recently started eating raw carrots in my lunch since they are zero points, filling and crunchy.

[3andMe]

I've been doing a lot of reading on picky eaters because I have one really picky eater and one who will eat anything - pad thai, spicy tuna burgers with cucumber salad and salted edamame, sushi, you name it. It has nothing to do with the variety of foods I've offered, or the way I've presented it or anything, because I've given the same foods to both of them from the get-go. From everything I've read, the pickiness is genetic, and the more you try to force them to eat things or to try to eat things, the more resistant and picky they will stay as adults.

After reading enough articles on it, I've decided to just serve Claire with the foods I know she'll eat, and also give her some of our food so she has the option to try something new and different. So tonight she'll have some pad thai (and I'll emphasize that it has noodles and it's a dish they eat in Thailand, where she wants to travel), and she'll also have a piece of cheese, a peanut butter sandwich, and some grapes, or something similar.