Aw, Bridget, I'm so sorry. (HUGs)
Bridget, I'm so sorry for your loss.
We found a somewhat crushed beer can in our recycle bin that had obviously been used to smoke pot through. Bobbie and Jessica initially denied all knowledge of it, but after continuing to question them, Jess finally fessed up and said who it belonged to.
Rich & I are both disappointed because it belonged to a boy that we both liked a lot. But we're both strongly against teenagers using any drugs or alcohol at our house, so he is no longer welcome here.
I have to say, even though I know many teens use weed I was still shocked anyone did it at our house.
Last edited by missychrissy; 06-13-2010 at 05:38 PM.
Ugh, Chrissy. So many difficult decisions to be made at every stage of parenting.
I confess that I honestly don't know if my emotions are just running crazy or if this is truly as inappropriate as it feels. My mom's brother and his wife are extremely religious Irish Catholics. They are never afraid to voice their holy opinions and pretty much force their views on anyone who will listen. They were also the ones who, if you remember, told my mom she needs to "stop taking so much medication" the last time they saw her.
I got an email from my uncle last week wednesday asking me if we'd had a priest come out to the house to "blah blah blah" something about cleansing my mom of eternal sin before she dies. I didn't respond. I mean, really? That's so personal. And I think it's presumptious to assume that we all believe what they believe. While my parents were religious in their way, they evolved very much away from the catholic religion and none of us believe for one ding-dam second that my mom needs to be cleansed of sins to earn her ticket into heaven.
So on Friday after my mom dies, I call my uncles house to speak to him about being a pal bearer (sp?) My cousin answers the phone and she asks me right away if a priest was present when my mom passed. I tell her no and am met with silence. Now I am awaiting my uncles return call and I just know without a doubt that he is going to ask me about it. If he does, I am going to tell him that our family feels that is personal and that my parents' beliefs are not the same as his and that he needs to respect that if he want to be part of the ceremony. I know he's my mom's brother and that he loves her but I can't help but wonder what kind of God they believe in that makes it okay to ask these questions during this extremely difficult time for us.
Last edited by Bridget; 06-13-2010 at 07:01 PM.
I think your response sounds fine and appropriate. My husband's grandparents passed away in August 1999 and August 2000. They were religious; Episcopalian. My husband's aunt had converted to Judaism recently and at their services she had a Jewish religious person (OMG, I can't remember what they are called...not a priest...) who read some Jewish scriptures and then they did some sort of weird (to us anyway) ritual. The grandmother had passed first, but grandpa was so sick he was not at the service, and he was comatose too, so he had no input. Anyway....my dh thought it was totally not appropriate b/c it wasn't the beliefs of his grandparents, but he held it in and didn't say anything. And then it was repeated the following year when grandpa died. He still talks about it, 10 years later, wishing he had said something.
Bridget, no kind of God thinks it's okay to ask those kinds of questions at such a time. One of the main reasons I have strayed so far from Christianity are things just like that...Jesus, presuming he really did walk the earth, didn't for a second ever believe that you needed "last rights" or other such bullsh*t in order to pass on properly or whatever.
I hate that family members have to make this harder for you than it has to be Bridget. You are in my thoughts all the time, and I wish I could somehow snake through this computer to give you huge hugs.
Bridget, if it comes up you have every right to express your feelings to him. I think your response is perfect, and they're being very insensitive to you.
Bridget - I already replied in your other thread, but again, I'm so sorry. I'm comforted to hear that she was surrounded by love ones when she passed away.
I'm also sorry your uncle is being so inappropriate. Please by all means say something.
I confess I smoked weed through a can once. As soon as I inhaled, I coughed and blew all of the rest of it off the top of the can. The rest of the circle was less than thrilled. Thus was the beginning of my legacy of always being the coolest kid at the party.
Last night when I was laying in bed with Savana she said to me, "Mom, I feel so so sorry that your mom died. All I want to do is just keep telling you I'm sorry even though I didn't even do it."
Could I have asked for a more loving, compassionate daughter?
Aw Bridget. That Savana is a sweetie.
That's so sweet Bridget.
I confess that I smoked weed for the first time at 12 years old. My brother was even younger - I think about 10.
Never through a piece of fruit though.
I confess that I'm feeling a bit emotionally drained after visiting my BFF and other friends in Germany.
We had so much fun, and it was really hard to say goodbye again. It made me realise how much I miss them all, and how much I miss having close friends around.
How was the wedding, Sarah? I'm glad you got to see some friends. Sorry you're sad to be away from them though
We just had our first overnight guest--my aunt came down from Maine. I think things went pretty well, except breakfast this morning. I asked DH to ask her what she'd like while I got dressed, and I came down and he was making eggs and ham for himself and Josh. And he said "she said she just wants toast". I said "Did you tell her everything we have?" and he's like "uh, no, I just asked her what she wanted"...so of course she picked the easiest thing, something she knew we'd have! I felt so bad with them eating fancy eggs and ham and her with her English muffin. Whatever!
It was a lovely visit anyway. I just always feel like a bit of a disappointment in the hospitality area, LOL
The wedding was really nice. My friend has a wonderful husband & family.
It was surprisingly emotional for me. Maybe the realisation of how much things have changed in the 6 years since we were together in Iceland, all young, single and crazy. Now all but one of us are married and starting families.