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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #10381

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    Blah, I just wrote a big long thing and my laptop went back a page without my meaning it to and I lost it.

  2. #10382
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Hi guys,

    Sorry I've been so bad about posting lately. Dh and I have started playing Civilization after the twins go to sleep, and that's been taking away some of my own computer time (although it looks like he'll win pretty soon). And then, coincidentally with you talking about violent movies, we also got a Netflix subscription and we're watching Dexter (about a serial killer), which we both find super-interesting and good.

    It occurred to me today that both my current dh and my ex-dh I can very easily imagine being killers. Not that I think they are dangerous by any means, but I can see them both having the means and the will, either through unacknowledged frustrations or through misanthropy. It's not something that's hard for me to picture. I wonder how many others can imagine that in their partners?

    Plus I'm just getting exhausted and blah. I was putting clean sheets on the bed today and had to pee 3 *&!@# times before I finished. I was at the zoo last weekend and some people pointed at me as I was hiking down the long hill from my car to the entrance with a twin holding each hand, and whispered "That poor lady!"

    In happier news, we went to the beach today and the twins had a blast and it was a really nice family excursion. Oh! And dh got me a brand-new camera for Mother's Day, and I don't think I'm going to be able to read the instruction manual until I'm in the hospital, but I'm already loving the little bit of experience I've had with it. My old camera was a pos point-and-shoot, and this is a digital SLR. I'm going to be embarrassed if I have this incredible new camera and my pictures don't improve, but give me a little time to learn how to use it.


  3. #10383

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    I have so much to catch up on! Here we go:

    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    Bobbie met with Professor Whitman yesterday and it was a success!! The poor girl was almost shaking with fear leading up to the meeting...this was a first for her. I kept trying to reassure her, but she was terrified. I was really concerned about leaving her on her own to talk to him, but I knew that was the best approach so I just hovered outside the building She knew she could call/text me if she needed me.

    Anyway, he answered all her questions and was very encouraging. She really feels excited about college and looked like a 5-year-old opening Christmas presents when she came out.

    My baby girl is grown up. I couldn't be more proud of her.
    I'm so happy for her! She must be so relieved and excited to have something to look forward to!

    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    Yay Bobbie! That almost made me cry. I think I'm hormonal.

    God, I remember how terrifying "meetings" were when I was young/young adult. Don't you wish you could just send them confidence? Now, it doesn't matter who I meet with, I'm like "whatever" and I have a great time with it. I wish I could send some of that whateverness back to my young self.
    Oh, goodness yes. Clinton and I were just discussing this the other day - if we could go back to our younger selves, what would we tell them? Honestly, I'd tell my younger self to work harder in school and not complain, because when you have to work 40 hours a week instead of being in school for 30, with just homework and weekends off to play, that's nothing compared to being an adult!

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Speaking of wieners...
    DH was scratching himself and I jokingly said "Do you have to pee?" (that's what we say to Josh when he grabs himself) DH said "No I itch!" and he whipped out his junk and started inspecting it. "Well it's not red..." I'm like put that thing away! LOL
    That's hilarious!

    Quote Originally Posted by midgeend View Post
    I confess I splurged on myself yesterday and bought a hoodie that was more than I would normally ever pay, but rationalized that since I didn't buy any new maternity clothes, that it was okay. I'll wear this after I'm pregnant too, as it's hella tight.
    I'm glad you bought something you really liked! You deserve it, mama.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I confess that dbf is watching a horribly violent movie right now. It's gunshot after gunshot after gunshot with a few beatings with a baseball bat sprinkled here and there. I HATE it. I cannot stomach these sorts of movies. They have no redeeming story line as far as I'm concerned and it honestly gives me a stomach ache. Sucks that this is our movie night together and I'm on the computer so I don't have to have the images of this show in my head.
    We are so opposite. I'd rather be watching a documentary. Even if it had violence at least it might be educational violence.
    I'm on the fence about those types of movies. It really depends on what is being portrayed and how. For instance, I saw District 9 in theaters, and had to leave not long into the movie for a certain scene that disturbed me. However, I saw Zombieland and LOVED IT! I also had no trouble with Book Of Eli, even though it had a bit of violence in it. But I wouldn't go see Legion, which all of my other friends went to see the night I saw BoE.

    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    I confess that I am seriously considering deleting my FB account. I'm furious. I save my privacy settings one way, then I go back in to find that they've been changed. This has happened more than once and it makes me sick.

    The only thing that's stopping me is that I rely on it for a few things - events, etc.

    Grrr. Facebook is so evil.
    I'm not too impressed with how they are doing things now. I really only keep it for the games - which is sad, but I love them! I just don't like this privacy issue it seems they're having. I'm sorry you're having a lot of issues with it as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I am silently fuming right now. We are watching Bambi. His mom was just killed by the hunter. Savana was asking if the mom was going to come back. It was the most perfect moment for us to have a chat about death and dbf said, "She's in heaven now."
    The conversation I had with him mere days ago apparently has dissolved from his memory. I can't even believe his level of ignorance. Thankfully the kids barely pay attention when he talks to them.
    Why? Why in the world did he have to stick his 2 cents in at that moment? I'm glad they don't pay much attention to him. It gives you a chance to maybe bring it up at a different time, maybe using the movie as a reference.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    Hi guys,

    Sorry I've been so bad about posting lately. Dh and I have started playing Civilization after the twins go to sleep, and that's been taking away some of my own computer time (although it looks like he'll win pretty soon). And then, coincidentally with you talking about violent movies, we also got a Netflix subscription and we're watching Dexter (about a serial killer), which we both find super-interesting and good.

    It occurred to me today that both my current dh and my ex-dh I can very easily imagine being killers. Not that I think they are dangerous by any means, but I can see them both having the means and the will, either through unacknowledged frustrations or through misanthropy. It's not something that's hard for me to picture. I wonder how many others can imagine that in their partners?

    Plus I'm just getting exhausted and blah. I was putting clean sheets on the bed today and had to pee 3 *&!@# times before I finished. I was at the zoo last weekend and some people pointed at me as I was hiking down the long hill from my car to the entrance with a twin holding each hand, and whispered "That poor lady!"

    In happier news, we went to the beach today and the twins had a blast and it was a really nice family excursion. Oh! And dh got me a brand-new camera for Mother's Day, and I don't think I'm going to be able to read the instruction manual until I'm in the hospital, but I'm already loving the little bit of experience I've had with it. My old camera was a pos point-and-shoot, and this is a digital SLR. I'm going to be embarrassed if I have this incredible new camera and my pictures don't improve, but give me a little time to learn how to use it.
    Welcome back Lydia!

    What is Civilization? Is it a role-playing game or something like that? As far as the killer thing.. I can sort of see that in Clinton, but again, not because he's dangerous by any means. He also just looks the part - from what my friends have said from pictures, anyway. He never smiles in them. He always looks angry, but in reality, he loves to laugh and joke around and be silly.

    I'm glad ya'll had a nice time at the beach today! And yay for new cameras! Digital SLRs are a bit of a change of pace from point and shoot, but it definitely shouldn't take you long to get the basics down. They're pretty simple; it's mainly the buttons on the camera and the different menu options that trip people up - I speak from experience working in a photo lab for a couple of years


    I have been away from the computer mostly this weekend as well, which is why it took me about 30 minutes to read pages I missed, quote everything, respond, and now update ya'll on my weekend (if you care )

    It's definitely been a mix of awesome and crappy. I had an argument with my mother that I posted about in ranting/venting if you're interesting in reading it, and there's all this stuff going on with people I know that I'm just so sick of. These people are all older than me, around the 26-29 range in age, and yet they act as if they are fourteen. What is the point of talking bad about people and posting it on Facebook (so that apparent person you hate can see it), talk about it with your friends and bash that person with comments? I really don't get it. Hate whoever you want, but putting it on Facebook so you can laugh about how awesome YOU are and that person isn't is so childish.

    Clinton and I had an awesome weekend, though. We spent it mostly at home, but it was full of a ton of laughs and joking and just having a great time. I love when he's home. I get so miserable when he goes back to work though. Tomorrow won't be so bad however; I have my advising appointments so I can register for classes! Yay! Then I will find out exactly what my tuition will be so I can find out if I owe anything or if my aid will cover it. I think if we will owe something, it won't be much, and won't have to be paid off till August, so that gives us time.

    All in all, the weekend was great, but something that happened tonight ticked me off. This girl Rachael (one who I don't talk to much anymore because she treats me like crap) had made a post about having a brilliant idea. I decided to be nice, so I asked her if she was taking over the world, and she said, "You know it!" so I replied with, "Well, when you decide who to/or not to destroy with your plans just remember I make some awesome chocolate chip pancakes!" All just fun in games, and her "best friend" responds with "I rule the pancake world. Just sayin'."

    This girl is always trying to be better than me - better job, better friends, better life, but it's like, you really had to one up me about PANCAKES? When can people act their ages?

    Sorry I made this so long! lol
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  4. #10384

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    Dexter is just awesome, Lydia. The third season is the best so far. How far in are you? I am on pins and needles for the new season. Gah! Now I want to watch it.

  5. #10385

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    I actually like Dexter too. I know I'm contradicting myself but there is something about Dexter that is tolerable.

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    Ive never seen Dexter...

    Lauren - that pancake one up is just ridiculous... There was a girl that I stopped talking to, but after I had Audri she was all about one-upping me on labor/birth story and baby birth weight... I was like... Seriously? Its not like that sort of thing is within your control....

  7. #10387

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    I think because Dexter has so much more going on besides the violence--the characters' stories and the psychological twists, and Dexter's inner conflicts, etc.

  8. #10388

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    I confess I turn TV to another channel just when a SAW type preview comes on the TV. Never. Dexter intrigued me with the plot, but it looks gory so I'm not sure I could cope.

    I confess I think I'm going to go check my Fb settings and will also be pissed off if I find them changed mysteriously.

    I confess Lydia is crazy. Her pictures are already fantastic and make me jealous. What DSLR did he get you?
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  9. #10389

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    Oh . . . and my SIL shared this w/me on Fb. So nice to have a secular type message from her!

    if bread always lands butter side first and cats always land feet first, what happens when you strap a piece of buttered bread to a cats back?
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  10. #10390

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    Bridget, that sounds like he was being deliberate. WTF was he thinking? Did you talk to them afterward about it? And him? Perhaps I'm confrontational, but I've have laid DH out for doing that, particularly if we'd been having discussions about how to handle death with Oscar, and my mom was in the process of dying. I am so sorry he is such an insensitive, well, Fer.



  11. #10391
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I actually like Dexter too. I know I'm contradicting myself but there is something about Dexter that is tolerable.

    It's the vigilante nature of his character, for me, that makes it something I can watch. He's technically just as bad...but since he's only killing bad guys, I can root for him. So messed up
    Just Midge

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I am silently fuming right now. We are watching Bambi. His mom was just killed by the hunter. Savana was asking if the mom was going to come back. It was the most perfect moment for us to have a chat about death and dbf said, "She's in heaven now."
    The conversation I had with him mere days ago apparently has dissolved from his memory. I can't even believe his level of ignorance. Thankfully the kids barely pay attention when he talks to them.

    Good grief. I wish he would at least remember the important things for you Bridget. Maybe he should just not talk at all.
    Just Midge

  13. #10393

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    Is there gore, though, in Dexter? I can handle a totally twisted plot, I just cannot handle SEEING the violence.



  14. #10394

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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    Bridget, that sounds like he was being deliberate. WTF was he thinking? Did you talk to them afterward about it? And him? Perhaps I'm confrontational, but I've have laid DH out for doing that, particularly if we'd been having discussions about how to handle death with Oscar, and my mom was in the process of dying. I am so sorry he is such an insensitive, well, Fer.
    I talked to him after. I wanted to punch him in the face but if I even raise my voice to him or show any anger he starts doing this thing where he acts like I'm psychotic and puts his hands up like, "Okay crazy lady. Whatever you say."
    I basically just calmly and kindly asked him to let me handle it, since he doesn't seem to feel one way or another about it. He said ok. But he said ok last time to so I don't have a lot of faith in that answer.

  15. #10395
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    This online writing class I'm taking is reminding me why I don't want to go back to school...and all these people are adults. Nobody's reading the assignments right, and nobody understood my fairly straightforward story, which makes me feel like my writing sucks.

    I finished the orientation at the UU church this week and I was like, the example student because I actually grew up with UUism, instead of being a refuge from the Catholic church like most everyone else. LOL
    I misssed a class last week because Josh had a meltdown, but they want to consider me completed anyway because I already have experience with the UU church.
    I would agree with them! I went through the classes in Milwaukee and than did 2 of the 3 when we moved up here. I haven't joined yet but would like to in the future. I just need to actually attend once in a while and we have had a bit too much going on recently. Plus I think that the new house will be closer than where we live now so that should make it easier.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I am silently fuming right now. We are watching Bambi. His mom was just killed by the hunter. Savana was asking if the mom was going to come back. It was the most perfect moment for us to have a chat about death and dbf said, "She's in heaven now."
    The conversation I had with him mere days ago apparently has dissolved from his memory. I can't even believe his level of ignorance. Thankfully the kids barely pay attention when he talks to them.
    Would it be possible to tell them what you want and tell them that some people believe in heaven? It is sounding like he might believe that even if he's not religious.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    And then, coincidentally with you talking about violent movies, we also got a Netflix subscription and we're watching Dexter (about a serial killer), which we both find super-interesting and good.

    It occurred to me today that both my current dh and my ex-dh I can very easily imagine being killers. Not that I think they are dangerous by any means, but I can see them both having the means and the will, either through unacknowledged frustrations or through misanthropy. It's not something that's hard for me to picture. I wonder how many others can imagine that in their partners?

    .
    DH and I just rented the first season of Dexter this weekend. In less than 24 hours we watched 11 episodes and only have one left for tonight. I don't normally like super violent things either but I LOVE this series. So smart and interesting and the characters are complex.

    I can't see DH being a killer at all. He often faints at blood and needles (I'm surprised he can handle Dexter....he can't watch True Blood). It's a lot of whining on my part to get him to kill spiders in the house. We live in an area with a lot of hunters and they asked him at work if he hunts...his reply was yeah, I hunt down the perfect package of hamburger at the grocery store.
    He's got a temper but is the type that would say break the computer or throw a remote....not hurt something living.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

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    Quote Originally Posted by midgeend View Post
    It's the vigilante nature of his character, for me, that makes it something I can watch. He's technically just as bad...but since he's only killing bad guys, I can root for him. So messed up
    We're only in season one but I totally agree with that. He is just different. And I feel badly for him because he wants to fit in and seems like something super awful happened as a toddler.

    DH says he is like Data on Star Trek...always trying to say he doesn't have emotions and doesn't feel anything. But in reality he does. Maybe not totally like normal people. But he does seem to care about the innocent and his sister and Rita and the kids.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  19. #10399

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    It is gory...a lot of bloody scenes, and the lead up to Dexter's killings are always pretty harrowing...and some of the story lines are pretty disturbing.

  20. #10400

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    Ive never seen Dexter...

    Lauren - that pancake one up is just ridiculous... There was a girl that I stopped talking to, but after I had Audri she was all about one-upping me on labor/birth story and baby birth weight... I was like... Seriously? Its not like that sort of thing is within your control....
    I haven't seen Dexter either.. hasn't been one of those shows to catch my eye.

    That is really odd, and stupid. Why would you try upping someone on something so amazing? The wonderful thing about birth stories (to me) is that every single one is so different, even though some of aspects are the same; ie. contractions, certain emotions, the end result, etc.

    Last night before I went to bed, a girl I know had posted a statement in Russian. I could read and understand enough of the language to know what she said, so I went on Google translate to form a response, since my broken Russian wouldn't make any sense.

    This SAME girl then posted something in Greek about hypocrisy and how people hate others and then love them the next. The girl that wrote the Russian statement is not liked by others (the main drama circling around here) so I know the Greek was posted about me. I just can't believe the amount of time someone will take to be that obnoxious. This girl is Rachael's "best friend" so I'm really not shocked that she decided to be rude to me. I just don't get it, honestly. Don't people have better things to do with their time?
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  21. #10401
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    LOVE Dexter. Stacy, there is gore. Most of the time you see him killing his serial killer victims. Lots of blood. Some screaming.





  22. #10402
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    Uggg I just don't get that kind of FB drama. I don't have a huge list of friends so probably why I don't see too much of that.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #10403

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Uggg I just don't get that kind of FB drama. I don't have a huge list of friends so probably why I don't see too much of that.
    hehe Neither do I - I have 32 friends!. But Clinton's warned me about this crap before. I just never thought at their ages, they could be this bad. This is mainly the reason why I don't speak with them much; I just can't handle the bull and really don't want to be involved with it anymore.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  24. #10404

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Would it be possible to tell them what you want and tell them that some people believe in heaven? It is sounding like he might believe that even if he's not religious.
    I am thinking this as well. My DH though he doesn't go to church fashions himself as some kind of Christian. Ky knows that other people believe that when someone dies that they go to heaven, particularly his dad and grandmothers and pretty much everyone else in the family. I have talked to him about death, since my FIL died a while ago from cancer. I can't remember exactly everything we talked about but FIL was ill for about 5 years before he died and I did let Ky know that he was ill when he asked about it. He also asked if FIL was going to die because it got the point where he was so thin and evidently something going on that you could see, he got down to about 100lbs. He had always been thin but it was really really evident. So we talked about how people get ill and that they die and I talked about it in a way that was not scary for him, at least I don't think it was and he didn't act scared. Luckily we had years to talk about it though. FIL died the day after Elle was born. But I did make it a point to make sure I told Ky about heaven because other people speak of heaven so often. I told him my own views on death and how I felt it was just returning to nature basically and that specifically FIL's suffering and illness would be over and he could finally be at peace and not in pain anymore.

    Erin

  25. #10405
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    Would it be possible to tell them what you want and tell them that some people believe in heaven? It is sounding like he might believe that even if he's not religious.
    I think it's not so much about Bridget's Dbf having different beliefs, but rather that he's too careless to be mindful about what he says on the matter. Bridget already asked him what his beliefs were and how he wanted to handle it, and he didn't give her anything to work with.

    ETA: I totally don't mean to be putting words in your mouth btw Bridget, this is just my take on it.

    On another matter, isn't Chrissy having her surgery today? I hope all goes well.
    Last edited by MammaMia; 04-26-2010 at 11:13 AM.


  26. #10406

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    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    On another matter, isn't Chrissy having her surgery today? I hope all goes well.
    I think you might be right.

    Hope all goes well Chrissy!!
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  27. #10407

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    Yes, it's not at all that I don't want my kids to understand different beliefs. Not at all.
    I can't wait to hear from Chrissy!

  28. #10408

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    Yeah, don't think I'll be watching Dexter.

    I have this feeling about saying "some people believe..." with children, but it's really my own bent. I think that by opening the doors of imagination at this age to what "some people believe" we're planting pretheological seeds that might be sown later to turn into ill-conceived views of what might be, or what is. I mean, some people believe that space aliens begot Jesus Christ. The believe that space ships will come back to get them some day. It's clearly a crock of rot, just like heaven is. It must be MUCH harder when your partner doesn't share your beliefs, because my DH shares mine, but we do NOT say "some people believe" at this age. We tell him the flat out truth about what we know, and we clearly delineate the things that people simply DO NOT know. There is truth, and there is the unknown. Truth is truth and the unknown is not knowable by anyone. Mommy, daddy, or the guy down the street that believes that the flying spaghetti monster will some day relocate him to a better world.

    When he gets older, we will explain religion, in its entirety, including the origins of religion, the reasons it exists, what problems it has caused historically, and help him understand what different religions believe. AFTER he has a foundation in truth and logical thought.

    I mean hey, this kid (Oscar) has such an incredible imagination that he tells me all about the machines he can make. His TV star machine (that puts people on TV). His toy factory machine, his candy machine, his penis-skin-replacement machine, his machine that makes people not dead. And for some of them, he truly believes he can MAKE them if he has the right parts.

    If I told him some people believe that when we die we float off with fairies and cake whenever we want to eat it? Dude, he'd buy it hook line and sinker.



  29. #10409
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    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    I think it's not so much about Bridget's Dbf having different beliefs, but rather that he's too careless to be mindful about what he says on the matter. Bridget already asked him what his beliefs were and how he wanted to handle it, and he didn't give her anything to work with.

    ETA: I totally don't mean to be putting words in your mouth btw Bridget, this is just my take on it.

    )
    I might have missed that part...I was not online a lot the past few days since my sister was visiting.

    It is a subject though that I think a LOT of people aren't totally sure what they believe. At least I know that I fall into that group. I wouldn't know where to begin with a child because I don't know what I believe and I don't think that we can know.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  30. #10410

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    I'm actually all for telling Josh what people believe and letting him choose. If he chooses what makes sense to him and what makes him happy, I don't see a problem with that.
    UU religious education involves going to churches of different faiths and observing their services, and learning about them in class. They're not told "these people are wrong because they believe in heaven". I trust Josh to make an informed decision on what he believes. No matter what it is, nobody can say he's right or wrong. We just don't know.

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