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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #10291
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    The flight didn't arrive until almost midnight so she was sleeping and didn't even wake up when I put her in her carseat. While dbf was waiting for the bags I just stood outside the car holding her and smelling her.
    Now she's sleeping in and I just can't wait for her to wake up. Dbf's mom did call me yesterday and tell me it was the most perfect trip and Savana was a perfect angel. I am beyond proud of my little girl.
    Yay!! I'm so glad she had a nice time, and that she's home.


  2. #10292
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post
    I don't take aspirin. I know many people do but it's a case of knowing too much for me. Long-term aspirin usage can lead to hearing loss and it wasn't worth it for me. Although I think I need to re-examine my priorities here.

    As for us, I make a professional salary and I should be able to support us but we bought our house when we were both working and planned on both our incomes. My parents actually own the house and we pay our mortgage to them. They've been very patient considering our situation right now, which is great in one way, but on the other hand we don't feel comfortable walking away because I don't want them to take a hit. I hate it because I should be able to support my family on my own and I can't.
    But would it really be long term use? I mean could you just try it out a little bit before your DH gets back...just long enough to get you pg and stay that way. I really haven't done much research on baby aspirin but it seems that is what a lot of people take for various reasons.

    That is one thing that totally stressed DH about building our house...the fact that renting we could totally live off my salary alone if we had to but in a house we will need both of us. Of course when all said and done the mortgage and taxes will be only maybe 200 more than we were paying in rent when we were living in Milwaukee....and we make more here than we did there.
    I am a little nervous to see what the utilities will be though!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  3. #10293
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    OMG that is such an inappropriate thing to say to a 13 yr old girl!

    Bridget I'm so glad she is back and things went so well! I can't imagine how much you must have missed her.....I'm bad enough if I have to be away from Cosmo for a week and she is just my dog.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  4. #10294

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    I'm so glad Savanna's home!

    The comment about gagging is inappropriate - that child doesn't even need that in her head right now.

    And the aspirin use would be only until you got pregnant and through your first trimester, as I understand it?



  5. #10295

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    I confess I am all for being honest with your kids, but am appalled at some of the things parents say to their children....

    I was doing a throat swab on a patient (13 years old) today, and explained before I started that it may make her want to gag... She did perfect, and didn't gag at all, and the mom puts her hand on the girls shoulder and says "You will make a man very happy someday".....................



    and I confess I got a call from the courthouse today. The divorce papers have been sent to B and should arrive on Thursday - which would have been our 3 year anniversary... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! hahah
    Wow. That is probably the worst thing a mother could say to her child. That isn't even something you JOKE about with a 13 year old..

    As far as the divorce papers, that's rather ironic. I hope he recognizes what day it is. He's an a$$!

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    SAVANA IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    So glad! And I read further down that she had such a good time, which is awesome!
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  6. #10296
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    I confess...finally called my landlord and told him we were moving. I don't know but I was REALLY nervous to do that. We have been here 3.5 years and like him well enough and liked it where lived for the most part.
    Our lease is through Oct but we are moving in June. I know we are on the hook and while we don't want to pay, we will if we have to. He thinks it will be rented before than.
    I think that part of it is because he's a builder (his grandson runs the business now)...and while we did look into going with them, we ended up going with another builder.

    I also confess I must be stressed....last month I had a golf ball sized cyst on my leg. Finally is healing and now I have a marble sized one under my boob, right where my underwire hits (I'm not wearing underwire today!). I went ahead and had some brandy last night and than tried to pop the stupid thing (they feel a lot better after that) but it just wasn't ready. Grrrrrr. These things are something that I normally deal with on a fairly regular basis....just the last two have been in weird spots for me and the one last month was unusually large for me. I do see a doctor but they are not really helpful with hidradentitis and I have had it more of my life than not (basically since puberty).

    Hopefully once the move is over my stress will go down!

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  7. #10297

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I confess...finally called my landlord and told him we were moving. I don't know but I was REALLY nervous to do that. We have been here 3.5 years and like him well enough and liked it where lived for the most part.
    Our lease is through Oct but we are moving in June. I know we are on the hook and while we don't want to pay, we will if we have to. He thinks it will be rented before than.
    I think that part of it is because he's a builder (his grandson runs the business now)...and while we did look into going with them, we ended up going with another builder.

    I also confess I must be stressed....last month I had a golf ball sized cyst on my leg. Finally is healing and now I have a marble sized one under my boob, right where my underwire hits (I'm not wearing underwire today!). I went ahead and had some brandy last night and than tried to pop the stupid thing (they feel a lot better after that) but it just wasn't ready. Grrrrrr. These things are something that I normally deal with on a fairly regular basis....just the last two have been in weird spots for me and the one last month was unusually large for me. I do see a doctor but they are not really helpful with hidradentitis and I have had it more of my life than not (basically since puberty).

    Hopefully once the move is over my stress will go down!
    I hope your stress level goes down soon too! Moves always tend to do that. I find packing worse than unpacking though. But that's probably just me, lol.

    I get those things from the underwire too!! I decided I don't want to wear underwire bras anymore, so I went ahead and got two non-wire bras and I feel so much better. Mine always used to break and the wire would poke out at me under my armpit. Not fun. I have to say, the "girls" give me the most trouble. I've thought about a reduction, but I just don't have the money for it.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  8. #10298

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    So I'm just now hanging out on Amazon and my library online looking for secular children's book that help explain death. And as I'm looking and reading I start to feel really overwhelmed and really sad and suddenly I realize that I am terrified of death. I am terrified to explain this to my children. And you know why? Because there is no heaven. I was taught that my loved ones went to heaven and were all together up there. It made it so much less sad. And I know what I believe now. But dammit there is no heaven and that sucks.

  9. #10299
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    Mama to Bobbie 20 ~ Jesi 18 ~ Syd 14 ~ Conner 6
    I'm gonna be a Gramama! Jesi is due 11/22/13


  10. #10300

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    Bridget.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  11. #10301

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    I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, Bridget.

    For me heaven always seems kind of funny to me. I mean look at it from a child's point of view, it's supposed to be this grand place, better than earth, and people and animals go there who are too good for the earth, or who are needed in heaven...I'd start feeling a little bit inferior. Why am I not good enough to be needed in heaven? Why did God give us that kitty, or the baby in mommy's tummy, if he actually needed it in heaven after all? Why am I stuck on earth when heaven is so much better? I just never understood it.

  12. #10302
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    I never had anyone super-close to me die when I was little, but I still don't think I understood the concept of permanence, or would have been comforted by the thought of a heaven if that had actually been mentioned. I was just told things like I'd never see her again, that being dead isn't bad or scary or happy or surprising, that it's like nothing. I remember specifically NOT being as sad about it as my parents wanted me to be. I think if you're not expecting a heaven, then the absence of it is not a big deal. If they're aware that she's in pain or acting differently, you can tell them she won't be in pain any more, which to me would be heavenly.

    I know your kids have been able to grasp really advanced concepts and may vividly miss your mom, but I still think that they might surprise you with how well they take it. They'll probably be more concerned about your sadness, and I think that is the part you'll need to focus on more with them.

    I'm so sorry you're having to cope with this, and I do believe that a lot of times the family suffers equally or more so than the person who is gravely ill, because there is so much helplessness, regret, and sorrow without a definite end point.

    ---------------

    Stacy, I hope your thyroid magically gets well-controlled with the next adjustment.

    -------------------------

    Mandy, I'm sorry this isn't your month. I would definitely talk to an RE about baby aspirin, or whatever is recommended. I know there are pros and cons, and you definitely have researched, but it's still good to know the relative risk, especially for short-term use. I think the majority of my patients are on baby aspirin and I know many who have taken it for 20+ years, and have only met one person in my career with medication-related hearing loss. And that wasn't from aspirin (vancomycin).


  13. #10303

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    Lydia, forgive me as I may have missed this at some point, but what is it you do for work? I can tell it's medicine-related, but what exactly (if you don't mind me asking)?
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  14. #10304
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    I'm an Endoscopy RN at a teaching hospital.


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    Cross posted from May DD...

    Is it any surprise that Jimi and I are kind of a couple of smart asses? Why should our son be any different right?

    The more I think about this going home outfit thing...the more I'm being pulled to this cute little smart ass shirt that I just love so much.

    I think I'm going to pair it with a pair of little blue shorts and probably some blue sockies.

    Is this not just hilarious?

    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  16. #10306
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    I like it!


  17. #10307

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    I'm an Endoscopy RN at a teaching hospital.
    Oh, very cool! It now makes sense why you know so much medical terminology.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    Cross posted from May DD...

    Is it any surprise that Jimi and I are kind of a couple of smart asses? Why should our son be any different right?

    The more I think about this going home outfit thing...the more I'm being pulled to this cute little smart ass shirt that I just love so much.

    I think I'm going to pair it with a pair of little blue shorts and probably some blue sockies.

    Is this not just hilarious?

    I love it!!!
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  18. #10308

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    I like the shirt, Janeen.

  19. #10309

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    I never had anyone super-close to me die when I was little, but I still don't think I understood the concept of permanence, or would have been comforted by the thought of a heaven if that had actually been mentioned. I was just told things like I'd never see her again, that being dead isn't bad or scary or happy or surprising, that it's like nothing. I remember specifically NOT being as sad about it as my parents wanted me to be. I think if you're not expecting a heaven, then the absence of it is not a big deal. If they're aware that she's in pain or acting differently, you can tell them she won't be in pain any more, which to me would be heavenly.

    I know your kids have been able to grasp really advanced concepts and may vividly miss your mom, but I still think that they might surprise you with how well they take it. They'll probably be more concerned about your sadness, and I think that is the part you'll need to focus on more with them.

    I'm so sorry you're having to cope with this, and I do believe that a lot of times the family suffers equally or more so than the person who is gravely ill, because there is so much helplessness, regret, and sorrow without a definite end point.
    I agree with this. And I'm sure that the children will take it better than I will. Savana already asks questions about death and we have discussed "back to the Earth" in terms of animals and plants. For me personally, I took comfort in thinking that, for example, when my grandma died that she was going to meet up with my grandpa.
    However the idea of eternal life really used to freak me out. I don't know why but I used to lay in bed and think, for EVER??? Really?

  20. #10310

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    I confess that Steel Magnolias has been playing a whole lot the past couple of weeks on Lifetime (either that or Oxygen; I don't really pay attention lol) and I watch it every. single. time.

    I used to hate that movie, but my mom got me to watch it once and I've been in love with it ever since. Such a good movie. And some of the lines are so hilarious I can't help myself but to recite them, and then Clinton looks at me funny, haha.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  21. #10311

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    Oh man that movie is so funny and so sad. The cemetery scene gets me every time.

  22. #10312

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Oh man that movie is so funny and so sad. The cemetery scene gets me every time.
    Me too. I love Sally Field in that scene.. but then of course, they had to make a huge joke at the end, which was wonderful.

    I think what I like best is that's how my family deals with things like that. We joke. We reminisce. We tell funny stories.. and if we're sad, we deal with it on our own time. I think that's why I don't deal with certain things very well, because I'm used to just being sad on my own, so when others are sad around me I'm not sure how to react and I feel completely uncomfortable. I'd rather just deal with it on my own and save happy times for being with others. If that makes sense.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  23. #10313
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    Thanks for the support, everyone. I believe I've been putting a little too much faith that between my mother, and my sister, and my aunt, and at least two of my cousins who have MTHFR, NONE of them have struggled with fertility or pregnancy issues and many have gotten pregnant either on the first month of trying or even while actively preventing. I just haven't taken it seriously enough. I need to take it seriously and do what it takes.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  24. #10314

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    Oh, Bridget. It's so hard when you have to shake what you've been taught as a child. For me, death isn't scary. It's not scary because my mother said to be from the beginning, "do you remember before you were born? it's like that." And strangely, that made sense. And because I've spent a lot of years teaching myself not to fear the unknown, or try to explain it away with miracles and myths, but to cherish the not knowing. That's the mythical and mysterious to me. There's another great adventure in store after we die. It might be whatever "nothingness" really means, and it might be about a zillion other things our little biological systems are incapable of understanding. None of us will ever know. And that's cool, not scary. I've fostered that idea as I've grown older, and now, death (my own) doesn't scare me a bit. I'm trying to relay that to Oscar when we talk about it.

    Death DOES make me sad, for sure. The idea of losing my mother, or anyone else I love, and the process of grieving, because I've been through it a few times, makes me so sad. Because I know how hard it will be. And having kids and imagining them missing their grandma (Oscar is very close to my mom) breaks my heart. But, death is also an integral part of the fabric of life. Our challenge is to learn to embrace it like we embrace birth, as part of the process. That doesn't mean it won't be painful. Pain is inevitable, but suffering isn't.

    I'm very sorry you're going through this. I can only imagine that losing my mother will be terribly, terribly hard. I hope to know you to gain strength from you when that inevitable time comes. Hugs.



  25. #10315
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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    It's not scary because my mother said to be from the beginning, "do you remember before you were born? it's like that."
    I think that is a really great way to explain it!

    I actually wish that in our modern age, we had more exposure to death. Not that I wish people would die young and often like they did in the not-too-distant past, but that more people could spend their last hours at home, surrounded by friends and family. I think it would take a little of the mysteriousness and fear out of the whole process.


  26. #10316

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    I agree, Lydia. I think one of the biggest shames about the way our culture deals with life is hiding death away like it's some bad secret not to be shared. If we talked about it more openly, more honestly, spent time teaching our children how to think about it and handle it instead of covering it up with flowers and fairies... maybe people wouldn't waste their lives in fear, or trying to seek to "find answers" where there simply are none.



  27. #10317

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    Ugh...my SIL just joined the facebook group "Give us back Michael Jackson and we will send you Justin Bieber."

    I don't get Justin Bieber either, but I certainly don't wish him dead.

  28. #10318
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Ugh...my SIL just joined the facebook group "Give us back Michael Jackson and we will send you Justin Bieber."

    I don't get Justin Bieber either, but I certainly don't wish him dead.
    That's just really bad taste that; I have no idea who Justin Bieber is but that's just wrong.

  29. #10319

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    I hate that type of facebook crap. I don't know Justin Beiber's talent as I've never heard him sing but I did see him in a late night interview and he's freaking adorable.

  30. #10320

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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    Oh, Bridget. It's so hard when you have to shake what you've been taught as a child. For me, death isn't scary. It's not scary because my mother said to be from the beginning, "do you remember before you were born? it's like that." And strangely, that made sense. And because I've spent a lot of years teaching myself not to fear the unknown, or try to explain it away with miracles and myths, but to cherish the not knowing. That's the mythical and mysterious to me. There's another great adventure in store after we die. It might be whatever "nothingness" really means, and it might be about a zillion other things our little biological systems are incapable of understanding. None of us will ever know. And that's cool, not scary. I've fostered that idea as I've grown older, and now, death (my own) doesn't scare me a bit. I'm trying to relay that to Oscar when we talk about it.
    Death DOES make me sad, for sure. The idea of losing my mother, or anyone else I love, and the process of grieving, because I've been through it a few times, makes me so sad. Because I know how hard it will be. And having kids and imagining them missing their grandma (Oscar is very close to my mom) breaks my heart. But, death is also an integral part of the fabric of life. Our challenge is to learn to embrace it like we embrace birth, as part of the process. That doesn't mean it won't be painful. Pain is inevitable, but suffering isn't.

    I'm very sorry you're going through this. I can only imagine that losing my mother will be terribly, terribly hard. I hope to know you to gain strength from you when that inevitable time comes. Hugs.
    Thank you, Stacy. I do like the way your mom described it to you. I have ordered a few books so that we can slowly start to talk about it.

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