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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #9481

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    I confess that I feel sick and stressed out! I have so much going on and the last thing I need right now is to be sick. Must.soldier.on...

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  2. #9482

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    Quote Originally Posted by katycat24 View Post
    I confess that I feel sick and stressed out! I have so much going on and the last thing I need right now is to be sick. Must.soldier.on...
    That's exactly how I feel.
    I'm just pretending I'm not in hopes I'll fool myself.

  3. #9483

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    Awesome Sarah! Have fun! I joined a womens group recently (not just for moms) and it's so refreshing to go out and talk about adult things.
    I feel under the weather today too. I took a nap with Josh and that helped but I still think something is coming on.

  4. #9484
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    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    I dunno. I don't think discipline is all about punishment and rewards. I try to think more in terms of natural consequences. I think kids learn more that way, because it's a reflection of how the world actually works.

    Sometimes it works out so that the natural consequence of bad behaviour is something that the child doesn't view as a punishment. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. If you send a child to their room, it gives them the opportunity to cool off a bit. Even if they don't mind going, it still sends the message that if they behave inappropriately, other people won't want to be around them.

    Another example - back when Mia used to throw food on the floor, I always had her clean it up afterwards. Not as a punishment but a natural consequence. She enjoyed cleaning it. It still got the message across.

    I don't know if I'm making any sense here. There are plenty of people who can explain it a lot more eloquently than I can.
    I was often sent to my room as a child and it was never a good thing. I remember just lying on my bed crying and crying because of whatever had got me sent there, and just like Sarah said it was an opportunity for me to cool off. When I had cooled off my mom would come in and hug me and we would start over. When I was happy I would willingly spend hours alone in my room reading or playing, but when I was sent there I knew it was a punishment even though my toys were still there. If I did start playing with my toys I just cooled down faster so it helped me deal with my emotions that way and I definitely got the message that it wasn't okay to behave the way I had around other people.
    Last edited by Gwenn; 03-26-2010 at 06:25 PM.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  5. #9485
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I'm not sure I agree with that because I'd want him to see community service as rewarding, not as a punishment.
    My parents used to just ground me and send me to my room a lot and I see DH falling into this too. I don't see that as effective punishment. Later on in his life I think he'll be happy to go to his room away from us. LOL
    I was a relatively good kid though...DH was not.


    I'll buy that I think depending on the child, the community service thing, ya know. Because for me, it ended up turning into a young adulthood working with different organizations to fight hunger. So it ended up being a really positive thing, and I have a lot of fond memories, and will always love community service. But I think you're right - that it should be something a person ends up feeling rewarded for doing, and if it's used as punishment in the wrong way, that could be tricky.
    Just Midge

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    I hope all of you sickos get better asap! And I mean the term in a loving way, of course.

    I confess I am so relieved to finally have a washing machine again! Ours broke right when dh came back from India, so it's been weeks of waiting because of course the one we ordered was backordered. Not having a washer has made me buy new underwear (because I only had three pairs that would fit over my pregnant butt), and switch Ronin to pull-ups because I couldn't handle the extra laundry that an un-potty-trained boy in underwear created.

    I also confess I've had about 12 contractions in the past hour, some only five minutes apart, and I'm really glad the twins are going to bed so I can rest and see if they subside.


  7. #9487

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    Anything's fine in moderation, and I honestly think completely withholding causes issues later in childhood/adulthood. Oscar watches some tv, but it's minimal. He loves it, of course

    A side note, Lydia, do you know what evidence my midwife gave me that I shouldn't gain as much weight?

    1) Diabetes. Okay, possible, but didn't happen last two times, how likely is it going to be to happen this time, when I'm bound to actually gain LESS than I did the past two times (I'm more active now)?

    2) High blood pressure. Again, I have LOW blood pressure and barely reached normal in the past two pregnancies.

    3) Big babies. Er yeah alright, but DH was 11 pounds and I wasn't small, and we're both BIG people. Both my babies were perfectly normal sizes for our genetics.

    4) Get this - a fat vagina. She said that women who gain a lot of weight also gain a lot in their vaginas and this can prevent vaginal birth. Er, okay. I gained 70 pounds with Oscar and he popped out in like, 20 minutes.

    Anyway, got to give it to her for speaking her peace. Now she needs to keep it muffled.



  8. #9488

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    And p.s. lie down and drink water mama!



  9. #9489
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    erm...a fat vagina?? Say WHAT! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. You sure you want this woman as your midwife, stash?

    Lydia - how did you get to be 32 week pregnant already? And yeah, lie down!!
    Just Midge

  10. #9490
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    I hope all of you sickos get better asap! And I mean the term in a loving way, of course.

    I confess I am so relieved to finally have a washing machine again! Ours broke right when dh came back from India, so it's been weeks of waiting because of course the one we ordered was backordered. Not having a washer has made me buy new underwear (because I only had three pairs that would fit over my pregnant butt), and switch Ronin to pull-ups because I couldn't handle the extra laundry that an un-potty-trained boy in underwear created.

    I also confess I've had about 12 contractions in the past hour, some only five minutes apart, and I'm really glad the twins are going to bed so I can rest and see if they subside.
    What the frig. Between your 12 contractions in one hour, another May DD woman losing their mucus plug, and one being 1cm dilated.

    The only thing this is doing for my level of paranoia is making it skyrocket!
    Last edited by Janeen; 03-26-2010 at 08:06 PM.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  11. #9491

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    Yeah Midge, she really is great, and honestly? She's the best game in town. She's just a little on the "medical" side and felt the need to give me her lecture about weight gain. She's been around the block, and I'm sure she HAS seen some "fat vagina issues" if she mentioned it. But yes, it made me laugh straight at her.

    The thing is, she REALLY doesn't know me, yet. She knows nothing about our diet or lifestyle, and so she probably figures I gain all this weight from eating shakes and fries at McD's or something. To me, even though "fat is fat," well... it's not.



  12. #9492
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    Well, I figured you had done all your research....but I'm still laughing over here about fat vagina syndrome. I needed that laugh today.
    Just Midge

  13. #9493

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    See, that's why I don't eat cupcakes. It goes straight to my vagina.

  14. #9494

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    Oh Bridget, thank you.



  15. #9495
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    Lol!
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  16. #9496

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    See, that's why I don't eat cupcakes. It goes straight to my vagina.
    I love it.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  17. #9497

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    I went onto my (potential) college's website today, and checked on my app status. Scared me half to death. The status is still "received" but it had a list of things I needed - transcripts - which are already being sent to them, but because it had those things there, before my eyes focused on the words, I thought maybe I got accepted or denied or something

    I swear, until I know for sure, I will go bonkers every day!
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  18. #9498

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    I'm also really mad. AF showed up today and tomorrow is my friend's 30th birthday and now I can't drink because alcohol thins your blood.. so now DBF doesn't wanna go because of me, and I feel bad.
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post

    Are you going to go?
    Quote Originally Posted by missychrissy View Post
    ooo la la!! Are you going to take him up on his offer?
    Quote Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43 View Post
    First- from the killjoy mom in me- if you are just looking for a good time, by all means go, but if you think it is going to lead to a longer lasting relationship, choose another venue that is less exciting to get to know each other again. This guy didn't jump when he could have the first time, which leads me to believe he has commitment issue of his own.

    Second- from the whore in me- GET ON THAT PLANE, GIRL!!! I'LL BABYSIT!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I think it's really funny we're all using the weird smily finally. I think we found an appropriate use! Haha
    HAHAHAHA definitely!

    I don't know if I am going to go or not... Its a 12 hour drive, or a $150 plane ticket... I dont think I could drive for $150... and in Vegas, you really don't need a car unless you plan on leaving the strip... for just a long weekend, I don't think we would...
    If I do, I'm not expecting anything out of it at all, except seeing an old friend again. Definitely not looking for anything long term... and as far as anything physical.. I honestly don't think it would happen... or that I could do it if the opportunity presented.... hes a *gasp* virgin lol.. (JK.. I honestly admire him for that)...

  20. #9500

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    See, that's why I don't eat cupcakes. It goes straight to my vagina.
    OMG I was already laughing about fat vaginas and that just sent me over the edge.
    Lydia, rest up!

  21. #9501
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    Quote Originally Posted by addysonreese View Post
    I'm also really mad. AF showed up today and tomorrow is my friend's 30th birthday and now I can't drink because alcohol thins your blood.. so now DBF doesn't wanna go because of me, and I feel bad.
    You don't drink when you have AF because you think it will make you bleed more? Any changes that moderate drinking imposes are related to platelet aggregation, or stickiness, and are unlikely to affect menstrual bleeding in any substantial way, let alone to the extent of causing anemia. Some prescription blood thinners may cause longer or heavier AFs, but even that is not across-the-board. If you have super-heavy AFs, I would check into it with an OB. Not to encourage binge drinking or anything, but AF never stopped me before.

    --------------------

    My contractions have slowed down now that I'm resting, but I had a couple one right after another.

    ---------------------

    I already have a fat vagina, but I'm pretty sure it is mostly from the increased blood flow and hormones, since it's the same as my first pregnancy when I didn't gain much weight. I actually commented to dh the other night that my labia were looking chunky. Yes, I know, more than you wanted to know. Now I not only have to avoid camel-toe, but moose-knuckle.

    ETA: Dh says it's not fat, just a little chubby.

    ---------------------

    Stacy, the other diet-midwife comment I read today was about a sugary diet causing more yeast infections. Did not even mention diabetes. And yes, diabetes and larger babies are the bigger risks of excess weight gain, so I'm glad she gave you those reasons instead of the dangerous yeast infection reason. If you didn't know, it would be good to have an idea of the risks of excess weight gain, and it is responsible for her to tell you, but both she and you can rest assured that you are well informed and capable of making responsible choices.

    My blood pressure has gone up five points since 45 pounds ago. My last reading was 105/58.

    I have never heard of a fat vagina impeding delivery. Good thing I'm having a C-Section.
    Last edited by 3andMe; 03-26-2010 at 09:07 PM.


  22. #9502
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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    4) Get this - a fat vagina. She said that women who gain a lot of weight also gain a lot in their vaginas and this can prevent vaginal birth.
    Okay, I have been thinking a little more about this, and don't you think "Extra cushion for the pushin'" applies perfectly here?


  23. #9503

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydia View Post
    You don't drink when you have AF because you think it will make you bleed more? Any changes that moderate drinking imposes are related to platelet aggregation, or stickiness, and are unlikely to affect menstrual bleeding in any substantial way, let alone to the extent of causing anemia. Some prescription blood thinners may cause longer or heavier AFs, but even that is not across-the-board. If you have super-heavy AFs, I would check into it with an OB. Not to encourage binge drinking or anything, but AF never stopped me before.
    I honestly never really gave it much thought, but everyone around me - at least the girls anyway - say they don't drink while they have AF, so I thought it was the type of thing no girl should have been doing. I don't really have insanely heavy periods, but obviously they are heavier the first couple of days. Tomorrow would be CD 2. I guess I'll have to talk to DBF about it. He was already saying he didn't want to go because of certain people who were showing up. I give up with the drama there, lol.

    I'm glad your contractions have slowed down. I hope they stay gone!
    Lauren (24) Clinton (30) - my life, my rock Praying for all the APA girls! My Blog

  24. #9504
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    Quote Originally Posted by stash View Post
    Anything's fine in moderation, and I honestly think completely withholding causes issues later in childhood/adulthood. Oscar watches some tv, but it's minimal. He loves it, of course

    A side note, Lydia, do you know what evidence my midwife gave me that I shouldn't gain as much weight?

    1) Diabetes. Okay, possible, but didn't happen last two times, how likely is it going to be to happen this time, when I'm bound to actually gain LESS than I did the past two times (I'm more active now)?

    2) High blood pressure. Again, I have LOW blood pressure and barely reached normal in the past two pregnancies.

    3) Big babies. Er yeah alright, but DH was 11 pounds and I wasn't small, and we're both BIG people. Both my babies were perfectly normal sizes for our genetics.

    4) Get this - a fat vagina. She said that women who gain a lot of weight also gain a lot in their vaginas and this can prevent vaginal birth. Er, okay. I gained 70 pounds with Oscar and he popped out in like, 20 minutes.

    Anyway, got to give it to her for speaking her peace. Now she needs to keep it muffled.
    I got to say that I don't have specifics right now since I'm at home but when I'm processing the journals, I tend to see scan the women's health type journals more than some of the others (ob/gyn ones, fertility especially...since it's more personal to me)...anyway, I have been seeing a LOT of articles recently about how much weight should be gained and it seems to be a really big thing right now. If you are already fat, they really want minimal weight gain....if you start out normal weight, 25-30 lbs. I think that I recall seeing info about the effects during pg but also after since so many do NOT lose afterwards.

    If I did get pg, I wouldn't be supposed to gain really anything....

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  25. #9505
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    Quote Originally Posted by midgeend View Post
    erm...a fat vagina?? Say WHAT! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. You sure you want this woman as your midwife, stash?

    Lydia - how did you get to be 32 week pregnant already? And yeah, lie down!!
    Ok so yeah you can gain weight there. I noticed a definite difference when I lost 150 lbs.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  26. #9506

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    You guys are cracking me up with your fat vaginas.

  27. #9507

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    Seriously, you all are too funny tonight. I've never heard of a fat vagina. But really, I think a fat one would be more appealing than a skinny one.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  28. #9508

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    An anorexic vagina?



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    Quote Originally Posted by stephmama View Post
    An anorexic vagina?






    dirty thoughts dirty thoughts dirty thoughts.......

  30. #9510
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    I've seen skinny vaginas before, or at least with many elderly women, the fat pads under the skin kind of disappear and so everything is all flat and kind of shriveled. You can see the outlines of the bones underneath.


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