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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #7411
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunrider View Post
    I confess I'm irritated with a comment on Fb. A friend of mine is having muscle biopsies today to try to pin down a source of constant pain. I commented on her post and ended that I would be thinking about her today. Lady posts after me:

    I just find this irritating. I think it's an aunt of hers. Ironic because she herself is anti-religion.
    Rude! I would be very tempted to post a smart-arsed comeback.


  2. #7412
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    PS Maggie: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/1..._n_359623.html

    Ok I'm going to stop talking about it now!


  3. #7413
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    I guess I should put a disclaimer in about multi-quoting too.

    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    So after I mentioned this thing about Mia not being pushy, he said "Well, do you think that maybe that's because you don't get into battles of wills with her? Maybe that's why she hasn't learned to stand up for herself?"
    I really feel that this quality is innate, at least based on my children. DD is completely pushy, and DS is a pushover. DH can't stand that DS doesn't stand up for himself, and that DD is so aggressive, but we're trying to teach them each to develop strategies for dealing with their own personalities and others', and they do seem to be moderating a bit. I think browbeating a small child is likely to make her lose confidence and the ability to stand up for herself in the long run.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I feel all of you ladies on the getting daddy on board with appropriate interactions with the kids.
    DITTO! I actually feel incredibly fortunate and reading stories on APA makes me a more appreciative wife for all the things my dh does. The other night he was impatient and put DS in time-out twice in a row for not obeying him over something insignificant. I backed him up at the time, but later that evening when we were lying in bed I talked to him about how the inconsistency of punishment might be detrimental--what are we going to do, put him in time out every time he won't do what we ask? He agreed with me, but was still frustrated about being ignored, so we brainstormed possible strategies. I talked to him about offering choices. I am so glad I can talk to him about this, and had no idea that this kind of support is fairly rare.

    Quote Originally Posted by MammaMia View Post
    I was thinking maybe we could do RadioLab discussion thread in this room. Do you think anyone would be interested? Do we busy ladies have time to listen to 1 hour podcasts?
    You make it sound really interesting, but there is no way I could do it. If I ever click on a video link that is longer than two minutes, I back out again.

    Quote Originally Posted by sunrider View Post
    I confess I'm irritated with a comment on Fb. A friend of mine is having muscle biopsies today to try to pin down a source of constant pain. I commented on her post and ended that I would be thinking about her today. Lady posts after me:

    I just find this irritating. I think it's an aunt of hers. Ironic because she herself is anti-religion.
    That is annoying. Maybe you could link one of the many sites that discuss the research studies about the power of prayer in healing.

    The researchers concluded that prayer had no effect on complication-free recovery from bypass.
    The investigators found that neither prayer nor MIT (music, imagery, and touch) therapy was beneficial in preventing subsequent heart problems.
    From Harvard Health Publications.

    or this one: Why does God hate amputees?

    Oh, and on a side note. I had a totally crappy day yesterday. Our hospital was being inspected by an accreditation agency and they came and interrogated me for 90 LONG minutes yesterday. I had to answer a ton of questions and I had so much adrenaline going that I couldn't even get to sleep last night, many hours later. My boss was there and kept trying to talk, and the surveyor told her to be quiet and shut up over and over again. I apparently answered all of the questions well (the hospital bigwigs that were there gave me thumb's up behind his back) but it was very tense.

    And then, if that wasn't enough, I walked to my car and saw the window was shattered and my stereo system stolen AGAIN. I haven't even gotten all the parts replaced from the last time. I'm definitely going to replace it with a less visible stereo this next time. And the body shop got all confused when I dropped by for an estimate, wondering why it looked so terrible when they thought they'd done a good job putting it in. I had to tell them 3x that this was a new claim, something that just happened that day.

    On the bright side, my neighbor "Crackie" saw me drive up, asked about the shattered window, and offered to get some plastic and tape it up for me. He did a great job, so I gave him a beer.


  4. #7414

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    You could download the podcast and listen to it on your commute, Lydia! I know you can get something installed in your car that you can plug an ipod into and play it through your speakers.

    "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov


  5. #7415

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    Oh Lydia, I can't believe that! What is it about YOUR car and YOUR stereo that's so appealing! I wish you didn't have to go through this hassle again.

    It's a shame you don't have a metal car. Reminds of a story DH's dad tells on himself of his younger days. Hooking a car battery up to the frame of a car and watching the owners get shocked as they try to get into their car. I'm just imagining some unsuspecting thief touch your car and get the surprise of his life.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  6. #7416

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    An old high school friend posted this as his Fb status. I love it.

    Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who is an idiot. Idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for stupidity, but we can raise awareness. 93% won't copy and paste this, mainly because they're too stupid to know how to copy and paste.......
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  7. #7417
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    3andMe is offline Every day is a gift. It's just... does it have to be a pair of socks? Hopelessly Devoted
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunrider View Post
    Oh Lydia, I can't believe that! What is it about YOUR car and YOUR stereo that's so appealing! I wish you didn't have to go through this hassle again.
    Part of it is that it's super-nice, about $1400 worth of in-dash navigation with CD/DVD player, bluetooth, and XM stereo receiver. The other part is that it's not just me. There were about 5 other cars on the same street that were smashed-and-grabbed.

    Oh, and thanks, you just reminded me to pause my XM subscription.


  8. #7418
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    new book that we just got in the library and thought it sounded interesting....

    Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America
    (6 CDs, 7 hours)
    A sharp-witted knockdown of Americas love affair with positive thinking and an urgent call for a new commitment to realism. Americans are a positive people...cheerful, optimistic, and upbeat: this is our reputation as well as our self-image. But more than a temperament, being positive, we are told, is the key to success and prosperity.
    In this utterly original take on the American frame of mind, Barbara Ehrenreich traces the strange career of our sunny outlook from its origins as a marginal nineteenth-century healing technique to its enshrinement as a dominant, almost mandatory, cultural attitude. The medical profession prescribes positive thinking for its presumed health benefits and academia has made room for new departments of positive psychology and the science of happiness. Nowhere, though, has bright-siding taken firmer root than within the business community, where Ehrenreich shows the refusal even to consider negative outcomes contributed directly to the current economic crisis.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  9. #7419

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    Well we are back from the therapist, and still speaking...LOL
    She basically told me not to look at things so black and white, and I really don't get what she meant. She said don't make it a decision to stay with DH or leave him. Well what else is there?
    Oh and all of a sudden just because I asked, now I can see her every week or so...and she put me on another pill, it's an "anti-psychotic" yippee, so now I'm psychotic. DH had a good laugh over that one saying "now you're on real crazy medicine". And practically the minute we got home he was off playing video games. Way to work on it. And people wonder why I think things will never change--because they never do!

    I am totally willing to take the medicine and see if I unwind a little, but I really think I need to set a deadline on how long we should "try to make this work". What do you think, 6 months?

  10. #7420
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Well we are back from the therapist, and still speaking...LOL
    She basically told me not to look at things so black and white, and I really don't get what she meant. She said don't make it a decision to stay with DH or leave him. Well what else is there?
    Oh and all of a sudden just because I asked, now I can see her every week or so...and she put me on another pill, it's an "anti-psychotic" yippee, so now I'm psychotic. DH had a good laugh over that one saying "now you're on real crazy medicine". And practically the minute we got home he was off playing video games. Way to work on it. And people wonder why I think things will never change--because they never do!

    I am totally willing to take the medicine and see if I unwind a little, but I really think I need to set a deadline on how long we should "try to make this work". What do you think, 6 months?

    I was wondering how it went today. Glad to hear you guys went.

    I wonder if maybe the whole black and white thing was just for now. I mean give the meds some time to work before you really can even think of working on you and DH. I really do think that most situations in life are gray and not black and white. Online we can only go by things you tell us...but I have to say that a LOT of what you say about DH and complain about is just guy behavior. For example, telling him to not leave the puddle of water on the sink that soaks your shirt and yet he still does it. Mine does stuff like that ALL the time....knows something bugs me because I told him and he does it anyway because he just forgets. Mine will complain about being hungry so I make dinner while he is on the computer. Dinner is done and he freaking won't stop playing....he knows this bugs me but still does it until I have to basically say, "hey DH you are REALLY p*ssing me off and why". And he will stop playing and apologize.....until the following week when he will do it again. It is NOT easy living with another person but it helps to have reasonable expectations. It was hard when i first started living with DH!

    some couples have a lot in common and that works....and some have very little in common. My BFF is like this...she isn't really religious but raised catholic. Her DH is from India and is Hindu. Personality wise they are very different. They had a pretty hard time of it when their daughter was younger (she is 6 now) because he was raised in India with rich doctor parents and a nanny and very spoiled. My BFF was not raised like that. They constanly clashed over their daughter....he is passive aggressive, she is not. The kid was getting smart about playing them off each other. She even thought about maybe not staying together about 4 years ago. There were also issues with her parents not liking him and he not liking her parents (a lot of that was cultural). But they stayed together, both compromised, got better at communicating and are pretty happy now.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  11. #7421

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    I confess that today is Tracy's birthday. She's my friend who was murdered a few weeks ago, along with her baby girl, by her boyfriend.
    Tonight they are having a benefit, in her name, to raise money for a domestic violence awareness organization in the town she lived. I've decided to go as soon as I get done for the day. I don't know why, but I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about it. I wish dbf could come with me but we have no one to watch the kids.

  12. #7422
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I was wondering how it went today. Glad to hear you guys went.

    I wonder if maybe the whole black and white thing was just for now. I mean give the meds some time to work before you really can even think of working on you and DH. I really do think that most situations in life are gray and not black and white. Online we can only go by things you tell us...but I have to say that a LOT of what you say about DH and complain about is just guy behavior. For example, telling him to not leave the puddle of water on the sink that soaks your shirt and yet he still does it. Mine does stuff like that ALL the time....knows something bugs me because I told him and he does it anyway because he just forgets. Mine will complain about being hungry so I make dinner while he is on the computer. Dinner is done and he freaking won't stop playing....he knows this bugs me but still does it until I have to basically say, "hey DH you are REALLY p*ssing me off and why". And he will stop playing and apologize.....until the following week when he will do it again. It is NOT easy living with another person but it helps to have reasonable expectations. It was hard when i first started living with DH!
    This is very good advice, Kate. I definitely agree that you need to give the meds some time to work before you can make a decision. And don't worry about the meds ... the label is just a label. What matters is whether it works. It isn't a diagnosis, it's a fix.

    Bridget, hugs.

    I confess I am furious. Today my cat had her third surgery since Christmas Eve. When we had the initial surgery we told them we couldn't afford it and they offered us a payment plan so she could get help. We put down half the money ($400). A week later DH gave them another $150, and we've given them another $100 or so to cover various meds. Right now we have about $50 available between the two of us. Because she keeps requiring more surgery we keep owing them more, and every time they have graciously added to our balance owed with no problems. We have been giving them money every time we see them. Today the vet told DH ... AFTER operating on my cat ... that they needed another $200 TODAY! He told them it wasn't possible (we don't have it!) and said he'd give it to them tomorrow after I get paid. I am furious ... just do the math to see how much we just gave them in such a short amount of time. They took us on knowing we had no money and were willing to work with us before they performed the initial operation. We have paid everything they asked and beyond! If they weren't willing to add anything to what we owe, they had no business performing another operation today and then asking for money after it was over! I am about to call them back and give them a piece of my mind. I'll pay as scheduled.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  13. #7423
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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I confess that today is Tracy's birthday. She's my friend who was murdered a few weeks ago, along with her baby girl, by her boyfriend.
    Tonight they are having a benefit, in her name, to raise money for a domestic violence awareness organization in the town she lived. I've decided to go as soon as I get done for the day. I don't know why, but I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about it. I wish dbf could come with me but we have no one to watch the kids.
    I'm sorry that you had to go alone tonight. Something like that would make me nervous too. I would think that it would be hard.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  14. #7424
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post

    I confess I am furious. Today my cat had her third surgery since Christmas Eve. When we had the initial surgery we told them we couldn't afford it and they offered us a payment plan so she could get help. We put down half the money ($400). A week later DH gave them another $150, and we've given them another $100 or so to cover various meds. Right now we have about $50 available between the two of us. Because she keeps requiring more surgery we keep owing them more, and every time they have graciously added to our balance owed with no problems. We have been giving them money every time we see them. Today the vet told DH ... AFTER operating on my cat ... that they needed another $200 TODAY! He told them it wasn't possible (we don't have it!) and said he'd give it to them tomorrow after I get paid. I am furious ... just do the math to see how much we just gave them in such a short amount of time. They took us on knowing we had no money and were willing to work with us before they performed the initial operation. We have paid everything they asked and beyond! If they weren't willing to add anything to what we owe, they had no business performing another operation today and then asking for money after it was over! I am about to call them back and give them a piece of my mind. I'll pay as scheduled.
    Mandy, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. I almost wonder if the vet had thought that one of the techs had told you guys. It's so hard when our babies are sick. I wouldn't carry credit card for much...except if it came down to taking care of my Cosmo. Those vet bills can add up so quickly. I hope that your kitty gets better soon.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #7425
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    new book that we just got in the library and thought it sounded interesting....

    Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America
    (6 CDs, 7 hours)
    A sharp-witted knockdown of Americas love affair with positive thinking and an urgent call for a new commitment to realism. Americans are a positive people...cheerful, optimistic, and upbeat: this is our reputation as well as our self-image. But more than a temperament, being positive, we are told, is the key to success and prosperity.
    In this utterly original take on the American frame of mind, Barbara Ehrenreich traces the strange career of our sunny outlook from its origins as a marginal nineteenth-century healing technique to its enshrinement as a dominant, almost mandatory, cultural attitude. The medical profession prescribes positive thinking for its presumed health benefits and academia has made room for new departments of positive psychology and the science of happiness. Nowhere, though, has bright-siding taken firmer root than within the business community, where Ehrenreich shows the refusal even to consider negative outcomes contributed directly to the current economic crisis.
    That does sound interesting!

    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I am totally willing to take the medicine and see if I unwind a little, but I really think I need to set a deadline on how long we should "try to make this work". What do you think, 6 months?
    I think a deadline could be helpful, especially seeing as you've already been "trying to make this work" for a long time now. Maybe you should take some time to write down your thoughts and come up with a plan for the next few months - what needs to change, and how much longer you're willing to keep working on it.

    Good luck with the new meds & extra therapy sessions - I hope they help.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I confess that today is Tracy's birthday. She's my friend who was murdered a few weeks ago, along with her baby girl, by her boyfriend.
    Tonight they are having a benefit, in her name, to raise money for a domestic violence awareness organization in the town she lived. I've decided to go as soon as I get done for the day. I don't know why, but I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about it. I wish dbf could come with me but we have no one to watch the kids.
    Big hugs Bridget.

    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post
    I confess I am furious. Today my cat had her third surgery since Christmas Eve. When we had the initial surgery we told them we couldn't afford it and they offered us a payment plan so she could get help. We put down half the money ($400). A week later DH gave them another $150, and we've given them another $100 or so to cover various meds. Right now we have about $50 available between the two of us. Because she keeps requiring more surgery we keep owing them more, and every time they have graciously added to our balance owed with no problems. We have been giving them money every time we see them. Today the vet told DH ... AFTER operating on my cat ... that they needed another $200 TODAY! He told them it wasn't possible (we don't have it!) and said he'd give it to them tomorrow after I get paid. I am furious ... just do the math to see how much we just gave them in such a short amount of time. They took us on knowing we had no money and were willing to work with us before they performed the initial operation. We have paid everything they asked and beyond! If they weren't willing to add anything to what we owe, they had no business performing another operation today and then asking for money after it was over! I am about to call them back and give them a piece of my mind. I'll pay as scheduled.
    Frustrating! They should have cleared it with you beforehand. I hope your cat is better soon.


  16. #7426

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    I confess that I went to the benefit and I'm so so glad I did.
    And the amount of people that showed for the event was just phenomenal. I heard someone say as I was leaving that with the cover at the door and the auction, they had raised 20, 000 dollars. I'm not sure how accurate that was but pretty cool, huh?
    How wonderful for her family to be able to take this tragedy and turn it into something positive.
    Today I feel so grateful to be where I am. Hugs ladies.
    Last edited by Bridget; 01-15-2010 at 07:28 PM.

  17. #7427

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    Thanks guys for the advice Hugs to Mandy and Bridget
    You guys I know I go on and on about the new kids, and Joey, but Joey's concert really rocked last night! It was a little club, standing room only, but we got right up front because we ate in the lounge, and they let those people in first. There were 3 people deep between me and the stage, which was just a little raised so it was perfect for short little me. I didn't know anyone in the group--my friend sold me her ticket and hooked me up with her friends--but they were all awesome and we had a lot of laughs. We got to hear and see Joey rehearsing because our group was so big we had our own section upstairs during dinner and he was right down the hall. He looked up at one point and saw us all watching and after that they put up a big curtain I was so sure he'd come say hi but he didn't LOL
    Joey's dad was there, he is such a cute little old man. Everyone was getting photo ops with him. I kept wondering what he thinks of his fame, just because he fathered Joey. LOL

    Sorry...I'm going on again. It was just so surreal. My home life might suck sometimes but I sure make up for it when I go out

  18. #7428

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    Oh yeah and the waitress dropped a little cup of ketchup on the floor and it got all over my leg and in my friend's hair! hahah...I'm so glad it was dark in there and that I had dark pants. Mmm...come here Joey, I smell like ketchup ROFL

  19. #7429

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    Someone say something please...I hate when I go on and on and there are just crickets.

  20. #7430
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    Just got home and reading now, Kate. Glad you had a great time!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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    I confess I drove to the next town over today to scope out where my class will be held. Its about 14 miles, but thankfully the building was super easy to find!

    I also got my hair trimmed today, but the stylist did some more stacking in the back, and I really like it!

  22. #7432

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    Thanks Mandy!
    cool atenielle I want to do something different to my hair too. I got that body wave about 3-4 months ago and I don't really do anything with it. Not sure what to do. Still looking for that magical look that takes no work to achieve LOL

  23. #7433
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Someone say something please...I hate when I go on and on and there are just crickets.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  24. #7434

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    Quote Originally Posted by Janeen View Post
    Haha!

  25. #7435

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    Chirp chirp! j/k, sounds like fun Kate! I wish I had something like that to go out and see right now...
    Norah! (3 yr)

  26. #7436

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    Sorry . . . I've been thoroughly engrossed in updating my resume this week and filling out an online application - whilst keeping one everyone happy during the day. I've been neglecting both APA and Fb.
    Krista & Jonathan: Liam, our one and only, born 9 Sep 2008



  27. #7437
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    Quote Originally Posted by maggie View Post
    Chirp chirp! j/k, sounds like fun Kate! I wish I had something like that to go out and see right now...
    Me too...but sorry, just not NKOTB.

    Blue October is coming in late April...to bad I'll be...well, really close to 40 weeks.

    I'll be too paranoid to do anything in fear that I would go into labor in the middle of it!
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  28. #7438
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    Okay, my sister emailed me a newsletter from her daughter's school. Scrolling through it I read the following:

    The 2010 Festival Chorus concert. This year the theme is War and Peace and will feature Haydn's Mass in Time of War, along with some other music related the theme. This is a wonderful community event and makes for a really fun afternoon.
    Umm... am I the only one who thinks that Haydn's Mass in Time of War doesn't exactly sound like a "really fun afternoon?" I mean, nothing against Haydn or anything!
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  29. #7439

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    I've never heard it.

    Oh I know most of you can't relate to the new kids frenzy..I don't expect you to LOL
    Just a little thumbs up or a "wow that's awesome, glad you had a good time" is all I need I'd do the same for your blue october concerts or whoever

  30. #7440
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    I haven't heard it, either, but just going off the title...

    I'm not a NKOTB fan but I totally understand your excitement. Unfortunately most of the musicians I'm obsessed with are in their 60s! DH makes so much fun of me.
    Me (40) DH (47) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

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