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Thread: Secular Confessions

  1. #7111

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    I confess I accused DH of cheating. I found a condom in his pocket when we were going through laundry. Thing is I am not even sure of it, but his response was not convincing. I do not like to have sex anywhere other than at home and he knows that but he says "I was still hoping". But he couldn't tell me from what day it was, and we have been out together a lot.
    I said "looks like someone's looking to get laid" and he said "yup, hoping" and I said mind telling me where? work? and he just kind of walked away. Not the reassurance I was looking for. I understand he doesn't feel like he should have to defend himself after all this time, but a bit of passion and heartfelt honesty was what I was looking for. Not a total blowoff. So now he's just pissed I could ever possibly think that of him "after all we've been through". I told him any woman who found a condom in her husband's pocket would be a fool to think nothing of it, no matter how long they'd been together or how trustworthy he seemed. Am I wrong? I thought about all the women I've seen on here who caught their husbands cheating. I thought about my dad who was married to my mom for 23 years and cheated on her.

    Yes, I am almost positive the condom was meant for me, but don't I still have to wonder?
    I bought some excuse of why there were condoms in his pocket in my first significant relationship...I ended up actually knowing this girl and having her over to the house for years before I found out the condoms were being used on her.

    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    I confess I have an interview at Hastings tomorrow.

    I confess I am now getting nervous because I don't know which job I would want more if I was offered both.
    LOL I would think this would be the least of your worries. Good luck.
    Gwennero- could you phone the hospital and ask to speak to the person who made this suggestion. You might get a clearer picture of the problem and suggest your ideas to them. It doesn't have to be a family fight.
    Last edited by rhiannasmoms43; 01-06-2010 at 10:02 AM.
    Me: Julie-46 DH: Kelly-52 DD: Rhianna-17 DS: Gage-He's 3!

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    Quote Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43 View Post


    LOL I would think this would be the least of your worries. Good luck.
    You would think so huh? But Im not good with rejection (Receiving or giving) and so I'm not sure what to say if Hastings offers a job while I am there if I haven't heard back from the Humane Society. I guess it depends on what they pay, etc.

  3. #7113

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    Quote Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43 View Post
    I bought some excuse of why there were condoms in his pocket in my first significant relationship...I ended up actually knowing this girl and having her over to the house for years before I found out the condoms were being used on her.


    See?
    DH thinks because we've been in a relationship for years and he hasn't "done it yet", that he will never cheat on me or that I'd have no reason to suspect he hasn't already.

    Like nobody gets screwed over by someone they thought they could trust. Anyway, now he's going on about how it was a low blow and we have some "rebuilding" to do.

    Which means I have to satiate him with sexual favors, basically. :LOL:
    Last edited by daylilies; 01-06-2010 at 12:29 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Anyway, now he's going on about how it was a low blow and we have some "rebuilding" to do.

    Which means I have to satiate him with sexual favors, basically. :LOL:
    Im sorry if you take ANY offense to this Kate, but that doesn't sound like any kind of rebuilding to me. Personally, all that would do for me is create animosity, which doesn't help heal a relationship in any way.

  5. #7115

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    Im sorry if you take ANY offense to this Kate, but that doesn't sound like any kind of rebuilding to me. Personally, all that would do for me is create animosity, which doesn't help heal a relationship in any way.
    Oh I was half kidding...I don't think it was really what he meant, but he has been poking at me all day Funny how I can supposedly practically destroy the relationship and he still wants to have sex with me!

    I found out today that he requested a work transfer closer to home in case he becomes a single dad in the near future, because of the cheating accusation.

    Anyway, we are going to see Wicked tonight, and I want to have a good time, so I don't want to fight with him today!

  6. #7116

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    Im sorry if you take ANY offense to this Kate, but that doesn't sound like any kind of rebuilding to me. Personally, all that would do for me is create animosity, which doesn't help heal a relationship in any way.
    I'm sorry, Kate, but I have to agree. Not that I am one that should be giving relationship advice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    Oh I was half kidding...I don't think it was really what he meant, but he has been poking at me all day Funny how I can supposedly practically destroy the relationship and he still wants to have sex with me!

    I found out today that he requested a work transfer closer to home in case he becomes a single dad in the near future, because of the cheating accusation.

    Anyway, we are going to see Wicked tonight, and I want to have a good time, so I don't want to fight with him today!
    1- B had been wanting a divorce for months apparently, yet still was trying to have sex with me. In fact the last time we did was only like 3 days before he finally said it... 2 - I am so jealous that you are going to see Wicked!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    I'm sorry, Kate, but I have to agree. Not that I am one that should be giving relationship advice.
    Me neither Bridget... Me neither...

  8. #7118

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    Yeah, very excited about wicked! DH says they're "front row seats" --I guess right behind the orchestra? We'll see!

  9. #7119

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post

    Me neither Bridget... Me neither...
    But you're doing it. You are starting fresh. I know how hard this is for you, hon, but there is a tiny part of me that is jealous of your new start.

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    I confess -- Hastings DID offer me a job on the spot (pending drug test and paperwork). I decided to accept - They pay more than the humane society, and they offer benefits, which the humane society didn't. PLUS employee discount!

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    But you're doing it. You are starting fresh. I know how hard this is for you, hon, but there is a tiny part of me that is jealous of your new start.
    Aww hunny!

  12. #7122

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    I confess -- Hastings DID offer me a job on the spot (pending drug test and paperwork). I decided to accept - They pay more than the humane society, and they offer benefits, which the humane society didn't. PLUS employee discount!
    Glad they made it easy for you.

  13. #7123

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    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    But you're doing it. You are starting fresh. I know how hard this is for you, hon, but there is a tiny part of me that is jealous of your new start.

    Absolutely. You are making it happen mama!


    And Bridget, you did the starting fresh thing already, so you know you've got it in you.

  14. #7124
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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    I confess -- Hastings DID offer me a job on the spot (pending drug test and paperwork). I decided to accept - They pay more than the humane society, and they offer benefits, which the humane society didn't. PLUS employee discount!
    OMG congrats! That is fantastic news. And totally what I would have done too...benefits and more pay would decided it for me.

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  15. #7125
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    Quote Originally Posted by daylilies View Post
    See?
    DH thinks because we've been in a relationship for years and he hasn't "done it yet", that he will never cheat on me or that I'd have no reason to suspect he hasn't already.

    Like nobody gets screwed over by someone they thought they could trust. Anyway, now he's going on about how it was a low blow and we have some "rebuilding" to do.

    Which means I have to satiate him with sexual favors, basically. :LOL:
    I have never cheated or been cheated on. DH was basically my first serious relationship (before him six weeks was the max). We were only 19 and 21 when we got together and have been together since. I do not have past insecurity/worries about being cheated on and am coming from probably a different place than most.

    Yes I get that someday he could destroy my trust...but until that happens, I have decided to trust him. It's a leap of faith....but worth it and I will rather live assuming he's innocent (until proven guility by something big).

    It would really hurt me if he ever thought that I was cheating on him. To think that he didn't trust me...no sex would happening there. The rebuilding would have to include couples therapy.

    I definitely believe that not all men (or women cheat).

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  16. #7126

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    Ashley - CONGRATS!!!

    I confess that I learned something about myself today... I'm not antisocial (which is what I've always described myself as). I am just very picky about the people I'm social with, and I've apparently been surrounded by the wrong type of people for a long time (not counting DH, of course)


  17. #7127

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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    I confess -- Hastings DID offer me a job on the spot (pending drug test and paperwork). I decided to accept - They pay more than the humane society, and they offer benefits, which the humane society didn't. PLUS employee discount!
    Congrats!

    2/09 6/09 4/14

  18. #7128

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    I confess AF has finally, finally showed up on CD40. I've been taking Vitex for almost two weeks. I must have O'd REALLY late. Hopefully the Vitex will iron out whatever my problem was this/last month so I O on time this month.

    2/09 6/09 4/14

  19. #7129

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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowSpy View Post
    Ashley - CONGRATS!!!

    I confess that I learned something about myself today... I'm not antisocial (which is what I've always described myself as). I am just very picky about the people I'm social with, and I've apparently been surrounded by the wrong type of people for a long time (not counting DH, of course)
    I notice the older I get, the more this is me.

  20. #7130
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    Congratulations Ashley! Hastings would be a GREAT place to work!

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgetwu75 View Post
    How frustrating. Is there someone else in your family you can relay the information to that might take you more seriously?
    I always feel like a kid around my dad.
    I need to contact my cousin (my uncle's daughter) directly. She's staying with my dad so I was hoping he would talk with her but looks like I was right and he thinks I'm .

    Quote Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43 View Post
    Gwennero- could you phone the hospital and ask to speak to the person who made this suggestion. You might get a clearer picture of the problem and suggest your ideas to them. It doesn't have to be a family fight.
    Unfortunately the way confidentiality laws are in the US they can't discuss his case with me in any way without his signed consent. My dad witnessed this issue as it was happening and doctors will discuss things with family members as they see them informally, but providing information about a patients medical care or condition is a violation of federal law. I know if I called the hospital directly they wouldn't speak with me.

    I totally understand the need for privacy but when you are dealing with elderly relatives with dementia, these privacy laws really impede the ability to provide effective care. Piecing together what happened really isn't possible without everyone sharing the information available to them and you can't do that when the doctors won't discuss things because they're afraid of being fined or sued for speaking to you. If you have a medical power of attorney they can do so but in a case like this where someone needs one but doesn't have one yet it's ridiculous.

    Wow, totally went off a on soap box there. Sorry about that.
    Me (39) DH (46) & furbabies * m/c 7/08 4/12 11/12

  21. #7131
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    Quote Originally Posted by gwennero View Post

    I totally understand the need for privacy but when you are dealing with elderly relatives with dementia, these privacy laws really impede the ability to provide effective care. Piecing together what happened really isn't possible without everyone sharing the information available to them and you can't do that when the doctors won't discuss things because they're afraid of being fined or sued for speaking to you. If you have a medical power of attorney they can do so but in a case like this where someone needs one but doesn't have one yet it's ridiculous.

    Wow, totally went off a on soap box there. Sorry about that.

    Ugg yeah HIPPA tends to go way overboard. when I had my surgery 5 years ago, DH came to all my appts with me and I specifically said he could know stuff. Yet the surgeon would only tell him that surgery was over and I was fine....until I was awake (but still totally drugged and out of it) so he could tell me first.

    Dh likes to joke....you don't mess with the HIPPO. LOL

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  22. #7132
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    So Ashley...what is Hastings? I don't think that they have that in my area....

    Jennifer, 35, DH 36

  23. #7133

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    I have never cheated or been cheated on. DH was basically my first serious relationship (before him six weeks was the max). We were only 19 and 21 when we got together and have been together since. I do not have past insecurity/worries about being cheated on and am coming from probably a different place than most.

    Yes I get that someday he could destroy my trust...but until that happens, I have decided to trust him. It's a leap of faith....but worth it and I will rather live assuming he's innocent (until proven guility by something big).

    It would really hurt me if he ever thought that I was cheating on him. To think that he didn't trust me...no sex would happening there. The rebuilding would have to include couples therapy.

    I definitely believe that not all men (or women cheat).

    This was very well said. Thanks for giving me something to think about!
    You guys! I am now spoiled for concerts and musicals! Having seen both up close, I don't think I can handle anything but! Wicked was amazing.

  24. #7134
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    I confess that my very first cloth diapers came in the mail today.

    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  25. #7135

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    Awwww Janeen, those look so incredibly soft!!! I got my first fluffy mail 2 months ago, and the newness and cuteness has still not worn off


  26. #7136
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    Ohhhh the BG's aren't even half as soft as they will be after a couple of washes.

    They're bamboo and the ones they had in the CD class we took were SO soft. I just KNEW I had to order some! LOL
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


  27. #7137

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    Sooo cute Janeen

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmosmom View Post
    So Ashley...what is Hastings? I don't think that they have that in my area....
    Its like a Barnes and Noble, and blockbuster combined. Bookstore and cafe, but also rents movies, and video games.

    and Janeen! I am SO excited that you guys are doing cloth! I have that same Thirsties cover(the darker one)! Its my FAVORITE!

  29. #7139
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    Quote Originally Posted by atenielle View Post
    Its like a Barnes and Noble, and blockbuster combined. Bookstore and cafe, but also rents movies, and video games.

    and Janeen! I am SO excited that you guys are doing cloth! I have that same Thirsties cover! Its my FAVORITE!
    They're actually the Thirsties Pocket AIO's.
    Janeen - 30, Jimi - 42; Married October 21st, 2006;


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    Really!? They look sooo trim then!!

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