Kate, have you ever looked into cognitive therapy? I found it to be extremely helpful in the short term while working on the root issues and giving medication a chance to kick in as well.
Here's a link to more info:
Here's a link to help you find a therapist who does cognitive therapy: http://www.beckinstitute.org/FolderI...nage/Guide.htm
I hope you think a bit more about staying on your meds and working on your family and your medical condition. I know you are unhappy, but I don't know that leaving your family and living in a hotel room will solve that at all. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled, and your son deserves a happy and fulfilled mom. If you don't feel like doing it for yourself, perhaps Josh would be a good reason to think about getting back into therapy/on medication.
"Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." -Anton Chekhov