I programmed myself to to not want kids and believed I would be a horrible mother, based pretty much completed on the direction and comments of just 2 people in my life. During my 5 year relationship with a woman it wasn't an issue. I was not interested and being forced to help her mom run a daycare while she went to school, she wanted nothing to do with kids of her own (though she was great with them and kids loved her). A few years later I find a man I love and trust.
He knew he wanted a child, but I put myself on the fence. Not only did I fear I would be a horrible mother, but I'm a wimp when it comes to pain and hate throwing up. I was scared my pregnancy was going to be horrible and was terrified at getting the baby OUT of me. We were together 7 years, married 5, before I felt ready to take the plunge. I think I made the decision because LaurenB and Flutterbudget were pregnant together and I saw how happy they were (friends IRL). And I suddenly had many more people telling how great a mom I'd make.
Well, I WAS morning sick the entire 9 months, and had my share of pains and issues. I forgot about it all and knew it was worth it the first times I felt my little boy kick me. And delivery was not what I'd envisioned and did hurt like giant Beotch (Pitocin is the Devil!). But oh my . . . to hold him in my arms . . . to stare at his face while nursing him. I'm in love with another man and my husband is just fine with that. I have dozens of people who have observed me with him and tell me I'm a fantastic mom.
My regret is that I didn't do this 5 years ago so that we could have a second child. There are things you give up, but I honestly feel something of greater value has been exchanged for them.
Sorry so long . . . you ladies make me so comfortable to spill my guts and talk.