Weaning

[jupiter7924]

I have no one to talk to and I'm so upset. I hate this so much. I do not want to wean. But, Amelia is almost 22 months, and she doesn't ask ever to nurse, never has. One morning this week, she latched on but didn't do anything, didn't nurse on either side, and I took that as a sign that it is time. I guess that makes it child led weaning, but I am so not ready.

Maybe my folks were right. Maybe nursing has always been about me and not about Amelia.

And maybe I'm so freaky about this b/c of the circumstances of her birth and the 3 months in the NICU...

Yes, it hurts my boobs to wean, but it hurts my heart way more. I read on Kellymom that part of it is hormones. I'm just so sad. Part of it is also that I feel like it is the point of no return. Once I decide this is it, it's over. It's not like a few weeks from now I can change my mind, not with an almost 2 year old. And it won't get any easier to wean, putting it off. It is time, no matter how much it hurts. It feels unnatural, to be stopping something I worked so hard to make happen. I did everything possible to get to nurse, and now I'm trying to teach my breasts and brain to stop. And of course I feel like I'm losing this bond with my little girl.

This is the first night in almost 22 months that I will not be either pumping or nursing my daughter to sleep.

I read this the other night but didn't get a chance to reply - i totally get how sad you must feel and you've done such an amazing thing for your little girl. my heart hurts when i think about stopping and we've been at it half the time you were. you should feel so proud of what you've given her - it's such a gift (and a gift you've received as well). you're not losing your bond with her, it's just changing/evolving and it will continue to do that as she grows up. unfortunately, or fortunately, it can be no other way.

[Santasmomma]

Ive never posted on this forum before, Im a November Mommy, my daughter is 7 1/2 months and Im trying to do a slow weening process, here's how its going she does great during the day sometimes going for 7 hours straight without nursing, she's eating well and drinking Soy Milk(not formula) we co-sleep and here's where the problem starts she wants to nurse all night sometimes, Im so tired and exhauted I dont really know what to do.......thanks for any suggestions

[laura88]

Ive never posted on this forum before, Im a November Mommy, my daughter is 7 1/2 months and Im trying to do a slow weening process, here's how its going she does great during the day sometimes going for 7 hours straight without nursing, she's eating well and drinking Soy Milk(not formula) we co-sleep and here's where the problem starts she wants to nurse all night sometimes, Im so tired and exhauted I dont really know what to do.......thanks for any suggestions

I started a slow weaning process for this reason. Unfortunately, if you're co-sleeping that will probably be the last feedings to go. The sentimental feedings are the ones that are hardest to remove. Being close at night is what they want, and nursing while they're close is really hard to stop. The best thing I can suggest is to try and have a bottle that is accessible to try and encourage the bottle use instead. I got Caleb to start sleeping in his crib at night b4 I removed those feedings. I was exhausted for the first 10 months, so I often napped when he did. I wish I had more encouraging advice to help you sleep at night. maybe moving a crib or other sleeping apparatus in the room so baby is still close, but not next to you may help. It's sort of the out of sight, out of mind philosophy,

[Santasmomma]

Theres no way to do the bottle she's never taken one when she has milk during the day she uses a sippy cup with a straw in it...I have already moved her crib into my room and when she does sleep in it she still wants to b/f every 2 hours.....its crazy but atleast I do get to sleep in between times.....so far she's only nursed 2 times today, we've been really busy so theres lots to take her mind off of me....

[maggie]

I don't mean to come off as unsupportive here, but isn't 7 months to early to be getting soy milk? I understand that you want to stop breastfeeding, but my understanding is that they need either breast milk or formula until they are a year old. That might be part of why she wants to nurse so much - soy milk just isn't as dense as formula nutritionally, so she might be trying to make up for that during the night. I would try a formula and see if that doesn't help some.

But otherwise, its pretty normal for babies that age to go through stages where they want to eat all the time. Whenever mine was going through a developmental stage, or if she was teething, or really, if anything *new* was going on - she would nurse a lot more. Pretty standard. I do understand that it can be frustrating - but its not anything unusual.

[Santasmomma]

I don't mean to come off as unsupportive here, but isn't 7 months to early to be getting soy milk?

No it isnt to early to be giving Soy Milk its not like I just went out on my own and decided to do that....I talked with her Ped and told him my plan and he said it was fine as long as she was getting enough calories during the by eating, drinking milk and Breastfeeding....another thing, if she wants to nurse I dont refuse or if for some reason we are out and she doesnt get a regular lunch or dinner I nurse....Im not letting my child starve

[maggie]

I never said you were trying to let your child starve. I was just trying to help, and if you read my whole response, I think that would have been clear. I have never heard of such a young baby being given either soy milk OR cow's milk. I have always heard 'wait until a year'. Over and over again, I've heard BM or Formula until 1 year. But if you trust your ped, then great.

[lhill8]

Jenny, I am so glad to know that I am not the only one that has nursed for so long!

I am still going strong at 26 months with no end in sight if it is up to my daughter haha! I am 12 weeks pregnant now, and I heard that by month 4 or 5 my milk supply will decrease dramatically and hopefully that will make my baby self wean. I just don't see myself nursing a newborn and a toddler! I'm only 100 lbs as it is, I would shrivel up and blow away!

[mommabert]

I am still going strong at 26 months with no end in sight if it is up to my daughter haha! I am 12 weeks pregnant now, and I heard that by month 4 or 5 my milk supply will decrease dramatically and hopefully that will make my baby self wean. I just don't see myself nursing a newborn and a toddler! I'm only 100 lbs as it is, I would shrivel up and blow away!

So...you defied your odds - are things going alright? Does Laila seem less interested now that Summer is here or no?

[mohop]

Thought I'd share our weaning story.

A month before Safiya's second birthday, she was still nursing in the morning, at nap time, before bed, and about two times in the middle of the night. She would also ask to nurse sometimes when she was just in a cranky and tired mood. But she was getting very little milk; she would nurse a couple of minutes, pop off and ask to drink water, and then nurse some more. Or she would suck about 10 times before actually swallowing anything.

So we decided to night wean for good. We had tried 2-3 times before but it never stuck. This time, I felt like she was old enough to understand better. So for a couple of nights, I nursed her the first time she woke up, but told her that we wouldn't nurse again until it was morning. She wasn't thrilled about it, but she also didn't make a huge fuss. Then, I started telling her while she was nursing at bedtime that if she woke up, she couldn't nurse unless it was morning. Again, she fussed about it a little when she did wake up, but she understand that she would get to nurse later, just not now. She just really started to look forward to the morning, and for a couple of weeks, she was waking up super early, as soon as she could hear the birds outside or see any glimpse of light, because she wanted to nurse. She would sometimes wake up and say, "How about nurse?" or "Time to nurse?" She still woke up once or twice during the night, but was content with me holding her, instead of nursing her.

After she had been nightweaned for a few weeks, we wanted to see if she would nap without nursing. This actually was a lot easier than I expected, considering she had never been able to fall asleep with me anyway but nursing. At first, we thought we'd just get DH to put her down for her naps (DH is a teacher and was home all summer, which helped), but she actually wanted me to hold her for her naps. The way I got her to accept sleeping without nursing was that I would tell her that either I would hold (not nurse) her or her dad would hold her, and she opted for mama. And after the first day of napping without nursing, she was fine with it, as long as I would hold her.

So for a little over a month, she was just nursing in the morning and at bedtime. And I really didn't know how we were going to cut those out. I would talk to her a lot about how she's becoming a big girl and doesn't need to nurse like babies nurse. I told her about all the fun things big girls get to do that babies don't do. Then about a month after her second birthday, DH reminded me that he was only home for another 2 weeks, so if I wanted him to be able to help with weaning, now was the time to try to cut another feeding. We also wanted her to be able to fall sleep more on her own, since we are expecting another baby in a few months. I nursed her for a few minutes before bed on a Sunday, and explained to her that we wanted her to sleep like a big girl, which meant that she would lie down in her bed while baba (daddy) would read to her. She got upset when I put her to bed before she was asleep, but then said she wanted baba to read to her. So he did and she fell asleep while he sat by her bed reading to her. The next morning, she woke up and asked to nurse, but DH and I just started telling her how we had to start our day because of all the fun things we had planned that day. And she was really fine with it. She didn't get upset like I thought she would, as long as we gave her something else to look forward to.

That night, I was prepared to nurse her before bed like I had the night before. But she didn't ask, and I didn't offer. I just held her for a few minutes, and we snugged, and then I told her it was time for her to lie down in her bed like a big girl so baba could read to her. The next couple of mornings and nights were basically the same. And now it's been 3 days since she's nursed at all. I really don't have any milk left; so I'm not engorged at all. And I still make sure to snug her and hold her a lot in the morning and before bed when I used to nurse her. And she really seems like she's fine with it all and that it was a good time to end things.

Sorry for the massive missive. Nursing was really really important to us, and I really debated and thought a lot about how I wanted to end things. And in the end, I'm happy with how it went.

[mla]

mohop -- Thank you so much for sharing your story. You sound a lot like me. DS is 22 months old and still nursing. He nurses for comfort, mainly -- especially in the middle of the night. I think I'm hitting the point where I'm really ready to wean him. I've tried nightweaning several times, and it just hasn't stuck. I love reading about your success!

Has anyone ever tried the old lemon juice trick? Because I've tried nightweaning so many times with no long-term success, I'm wondering if doing something like that might help move the process along and make it stick. Or is that just crazy?

[mohop]

mohop -- Thank you so much for sharing your story. You sound a lot like me. DS is 22 months old and still nursing. He nurses for comfort, mainly -- especially in the middle of the night. I think I'm hitting the point where I'm really ready to wean him. I've tried nightweaning several times, and it just hasn't stuck. I love reading about your success!

Has anyone ever tried the old lemon juice trick? Because I've tried nightweaning so many times with no long-term success, I'm wondering if doing something like that might help move the process along and make it stick. Or is that just crazy?

I'm just reading this. I haven't tried the lemon juice (or other versions of it; vinegar, salt, etc.). I wondered if I would end up resorting to that, but we didn't. At least with us, I just found that as she got older she understood things better. And as long as I stuck with what I said was going to happen (like when I told her no more nursing until morning, that I really meant that for every night she woke up), she caught on finally and it stuck. Now, in my case, it may have helped that she was really not getting much milk at all.

[PinKster]

My son had severe "colic" to be honest I dont know what he had but he cried 24/7. He has come to ♥ booby as a comfort object. He eats well and drinks from a sippy. I am pregnant and DONT want to be nursing two babies at once.

We have put him to bed every night in his crib, but he wakes up to nurse. (as we did cosleep)

Also "dropping a feeding" we dont have planned/scheduled feedings, he just nurses when he wants too. Usually to sleep or if he hurts himself and then all night. I sooo need help what can I do?

[SeptemberMom]

Also "dropping a feeding" we dont have planned/scheduled feedings, he just nurses when he wants too. Usually to sleep or if he hurts himself and then all night. I sooo need help what can I do?

My doctor said to pick a time frame where you wouldn't nurse. How is it going? My time frame will be from 8 - 4 because I am going back to work. I will do this for a week (no more than two weeks) and then move it to 6pm and so forth.

[mohop]

I too didn't get the whole "dropping a feeding" thing for a long time, b/c my DD just nursed whenever she wanted to basically until we started the weaning process. But by that time, I noticed that she really just nursed at sleepy times; e.g., at bedtime, when she woke up in the middle of the night, when she woke up for the morning, when she was tired/cranky and when she needed to nap. (She was almost 2 years old and I didn't have much milk at all, so nursing was all about comfort.) So I just stared by disassociating nursing from sleeping/crankiness; not nursing her whenever she was cranky; cutting out nighttime nursing, then cutting out naptime nursing. Then we ended up basically just nursing before bed and upon waking, and focused on cutting those.

[waiting4Alil1]

Ok in trying to wean my little man, he has taken up additional feedings! We were down to nursing in the am and at bed time, but now he's waking at 5am and won't go back down without nursing, and wanting to nurse throughout the day as well. He has started asking for it and latching on whenever he can (we can't bathe or shower together, he can't be around when I'm getting dressed, etc). HELP! Should I start over and try to drop feedings? He won't accept a sippy from me anyone, which we were doing really well with. I'm at a loss.

[MomOfAnOnly]

Bumpity

[HeyMrs.K]

Thank you Carrie

[Amy&Carlos]

I'm proud to say we successfully (and gently) night weaned at 23 months. We used the Dr. Jay Gordon method, sort of, and I don't think it even took a week. Also, my biggest reason for delaying so long was the fear that so many hours would be spent crying, due to earlier attempts when Lucas was much younger. But it wasn't even that much time, and he caught on so quickly. Plus, the ability to be right next to him comforting him without providing nursing comfort made me feel totally OK about this vs. most of the other methods we considered.

Here's my day-by-day breakdown for anyone who's curious how it went.

[sophie'smom]

Finally had a chance to write this out...

I had planned on weaning Delaney at 12 months. It was a long, hard 12 months to get to where we were and honestly neither of us were ready to stop. But I found myself pregnant, tired, and throwing up. I was exhausted and not able to keep food down. So, I started weaning. For us it took 2 months to completely wean. I took my time b/c I could and wanted to.

What worked best for us was cutting down the nursing sessions and adding a sippy of milk after. It was the most gentle way for me. I started by cut one nursing session from 35 minutes to 30 minutes. She would get a snack and a sippy after that. After a few days I would cut back more time...until that session was gone. Then started shortening another session.

It worked for us b/c it seemed like then the snack and sippy were more her idea. She knew it was coming and started to look forward to it--perhaps more the snack at times!

Every now and again after she was completely weaned she would try and latch on. I couldn't get dressed around her or wear v-neck shirts.

After Lyla was born she wanted to nurse too. I didn't deny her, after about a week she lost interested and would say, "boobies for babies!"

Even now she latches on, actually now she more kisses the nips and she moves on.

Weaning is like going through the grieving process. It's ok to cry and to miss it. You will get through it and it does get better.

You will want to vary your routine if your little one gives you a hard time about dropping a nursing session. Go for a walk, go to the store, introduce a new exciting toy... keep your mind and baby's off nursing.

Best wishes to anyone going through this or even thinking about it...

This is the best advice ever, I love you Becky wherever you are, thank you so much sweetie, I am hoping to follow your steps and start the weaning process the way you did it.

I miss you terribly girl

[Jamie0987]

My son is almost 12 months and I'm hoping to be done breastfeeding not long after his first birthday, maybe by thirteen months. We've cut the feedings down to twice a day, unless he's sick and then we breastfeed during the day because he won't eat otherwise. Sometime we don't even do a morning feeding, but he will scream if he doesn't get that night time feeding...I don't know how we are going to cut that, and I will miss that last feeding until he wakes up the next morning. I'm not even producing that much any more, MAYBE two ounces for the morning and three for the evening feeding. What I need to know, or need advice on, is how to cut that night feeding with out traumatizing my son. We were trying to do a warmed up bottle of milk but he won't take it unless he's already breastfed Gonna miss that bonding time

[elle77]

My son is almost 12 months and I'm hoping to be done breastfeeding not long after his first birthday, maybe by thirteen months. We've cut the feedings down to twice a day, unless he's sick and then we breastfeed during the day because he won't eat otherwise. Sometime we don't even do a morning feeding, but he will scream if he doesn't get that night time feeding...I don't know how we are going to cut that, and I will miss that last feeding until he wakes up the next morning. I'm not even producing that much any more, MAYBE two ounces for the morning and three for the evening feeding. What I need to know, or need advice on, is how to cut that night feeding with out traumatizing my son. We were trying to do a warmed up bottle of milk but he won't take it unless he's already breastfed Gonna miss that bonding time

If both you and your son want to continue, why are you trying to wean? Isn't the general advice continue until one or both of you are ready? Doesn't sound like that's the case.

[Jamie0987]

You know, I don't honestly know why I'm quitting... something to contemplate. He's not done, and I can see he's not ready. Thanks for telling me something I didn't know...I was always told to switch to milk completely by a year, albeit it wasn't told directly in those terms, more like hinted at. Thanks!

[Pinkhood1]

You know, I don't honestly know why I'm quitting... something to contemplate. He's not done, and I can see he's not ready. Thanks for telling me something I didn't know...I was always told to switch to milk completely by a year, albeit it wasn't told directly in those terms, more like hinted at. Thanks!

Still nursing here. I have no plans to wean until we are ready.

[Hoping2Be]

I think my DD is weaning. She still will ask to nurse occasionally but it's infrequent now. She's (knock wood) been STTN in long stretches for the past week and a half which has really affected my supply. I think my milk has turned to weaning milk and I barely have anymore. We had the sweetest little talk about her not being a baby and how she's a little girl now. Though she's only 2.5 and she's still my baby!!! She'll always be my baby. I'm so happy I never nightweaned and just let her self wean. Bittersweet indeed.

[motherof3]

If any new mothers are experiencing sore or tender nipples as a result of breastfeeding, I highly recommend this product:

http://www.showerhug.com/shop/index....=index&cPath=1

It's call the Shower Hug, and it's great for wearing in the shower to soothe sore breasts

Good luck!!

[kendra76]

I was just looking through this post to get some help with weaning and it breaks my heart to see posts by Becky (babies). Oh how I miss her..

[elle77]

We haven't had a lot of weaning updates in here for a while.

In a couple of weeks I'm embarking on night weaning Ada. She's only nursing when she is tired, not even really for comfort anymore and I'm getting super annoyed with night nursing (3-5 times a night still) so I think its time to quit nights. I'm only planning on keeping 2-3 nursings throughout the day. We are going to use a modified Dr. Jay method. I'm nervous!

[elle77]

Tonight is the first night. We read the book "Nursies When the Sun Shines" and talked about nursies going night night. I may be talking to the crickets here but wish me luck.

[mla]

Chirp. Chirp.

That was my cricket sound. LOL

Best of luck to you!