Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra View Post
I have no one to talk to and I'm so upset. I hate this so much. I do not want to wean. But, Amelia is almost 22 months, and she doesn't ask ever to nurse, never has. One morning this week, she latched on but didn't do anything, didn't nurse on either side, and I took that as a sign that it is time. I guess that makes it child led weaning, but I am so not ready.

Maybe my folks were right. Maybe nursing has always been about me and not about Amelia.

And maybe I'm so freaky about this b/c of the circumstances of her birth and the 3 months in the NICU...

Yes, it hurts my boobs to wean, but it hurts my heart way more. I read on Kellymom that part of it is hormones. I'm just so sad. Part of it is also that I feel like it is the point of no return. Once I decide this is it, it's over. It's not like a few weeks from now I can change my mind, not with an almost 2 year old. And it won't get any easier to wean, putting it off. It is time, no matter how much it hurts. It feels unnatural, to be stopping something I worked so hard to make happen. I did everything possible to get to nurse, and now I'm trying to teach my breasts and brain to stop. And of course I feel like I'm losing this bond with my little girl.

This is the first night in almost 22 months that I will not be either pumping or nursing my daughter to sleep.
I read this the other night but didn't get a chance to reply - i totally get how sad you must feel and you've done such an amazing thing for your little girl. my heart hurts when i think about stopping and we've been at it half the time you were. you should feel so proud of what you've given her - it's such a gift (and a gift you've received as well). you're not losing your bond with her, it's just changing/evolving and it will continue to do that as she grows up. unfortunately, or fortunately, it can be no other way.