Loss Two Little Angels at 16 Weeks
I haven't posted on here since I found out I was pregnant in July. I had laparoscopic surgery in May to have some mild endometriosis lesions removed and some scarring. After the surgery we waited for a month and started our second round of clomid. We found out we were pregnant with twins when I was 6 weeks pregnant. After being released by my RE, I started going to my ob/gyn for treatment. Everything was looking good, both babies were growing well, although my little girl was always a little smaller than her brother. She was 2 days younger than her brother.
Everything changed on October 1st. I had been experiencing some dull lower back pain all day during work but I thought nothing of it, I thought it was just the weight of the babies. When I got home that evening, the pain got worse and I could barely stand up. I ended up going to labor and delivery and they did an ultrasound and checked my babies heartbeats which were fine and they had plenty of fluid around them. They looked at my cervix on ultrasound and it was still long and closed. However, my back pain was getting and worse and I had even began to throw up. They sent me home with a diagnosis of a muscle strain in my back. Told me to use a heating pad and to take tylenol. I went home and did this but nothing was making the pain go away and I couldn't keep any food down. I ended up sleeping on the floor because that was the only way I could get comfortable and make my back feel a little better.
The next day the pain started feeling a little better but I didn't feel like my normal self. I went to the store but stayed in for the remainder of the day. When I woke up the next morning, I felt leakage in my underwear like was leaking a little bit of urine. I called the doctor and was told to go to labor and delivery. We went and when the NP checked my cervix, she had a look on her face that told me something was very wrong. She told me I was leaking amniotic fluid and that I had dilated 2 cm. She said she was sorry but that more than likely I would lose my babies. My husband and I just cried, cried, cried. They gave me the option of terminating or going on bedrest. I choose bedrest and they admitted me to monitor the babies. Everything still looked good with the babies, they hadn't loss any fluid and they still had strong heartbeats so the next day they discharged me home to stay on bedrest. When I woke up the next morning and went to use the bathroom my water broke. We ended up back in the hospital and this time when they did an ultrasound, twin A ( my little girl) had lost a lot of fluid but she still had a strong heartbeat. Her brother was fine. He had plenty of fluid, a strong heartbeat and he was moving like nothing was wrong.
Then my doctor came in and explained to me that even if I tried to stay on bedrest until I made 24 weeks the likelihood of my angels surviving was slim to none. She said I could stay on bedrest with hopes that the bag would reseal itself or I could deliver my babies. She gave me the third choose to terminate the pregnancy so that I wouldn't have to go thorough delivery. I couldn't go through giving birth to them emotionally so I decided to have the D&E. I loss my angels on October 7th. As the days go by I can't help but wonder what might have been but I believe god has a plan and for whatever reason my babies were needed up above more than here on earth.
I can't really imagine getting pregnant anytime soon but at the age of 35 I don't want to wait too long. This has been one big emotional roller coaster but I pray everyday that the pain will subside.