Show I watched today.
I come in here now and then to check on some friends, DH and I do have hopes to foster when our kiddos are older. Forgive the intrusion please. I just had to come in and say how amazing BOTH sides of the adoption roller coaster are. I caught a show for the first time today, not sure if it is a new series or I have just never seen it before, called "I'm Having Their Baby" and boy was it a tear jerker. The strength and love on both sides of the baby is really beautiful. In the show I saw tonight 1 adoption went through and 1 didn't...they were both so hard to watch. I just wanted to come and give out some big HUGS, this was as close as I have ever been to an adoption and while I knew it must be beyond hard this show really dove in and got you in the heart. You ladies are so strong and loving...I wish you all the best.
We adopted from foster care...ds was almost 2yrs old and had been in care since birth. Not a day goes by that I don't think of his foster mom who had him those first two years and his birth mom who is now at a better place and has another baby (at one point we know she contacted dhs to try to get ds back). Even ds, 4yrs later, still seems to have after-effects of his loss...being taken from the loving arms of his foster mom...the only home and mama he had ever known. It is so heart-wrenching on so many levels :ohno:.
Yet, the joys are immense! We can't imagine our lives without ds, in fact, we usually forget he's adopted...it seems like he's just always been with us :wub:. As for ds, he has a life, a family, and a future he wouldn't have had otherwise. We are forever grateful to his foster mom who did an amazing job...he is happy and well-adjusted because of the love and attention he received from her in some of the most critical years of his development.
I appreciate your post...not everyone realizes it's not as simple as it might seem :). Lots of grief and loss and joy and gain...such a mixed cup!
We hope to do foster care someday too. We plan to adopt again from foster care within 5-8yrs.
Originally Posted by kellyowens
This was said perfectly. While none of our adoptions went through we also plan to do fostering when the kids are in grade school. We will never try to adopt again though. That third time of it falling through was enough for us.
I watch the show too. It's actually the second season and it's on Wednesday I think. I don't know if the show makes me feel better or worse....hard to not be biased for me watching as I always want the birth families to be placed even though it of course means loss for others. Though I have learned how much is on the state that you live in. In our state, they do not sign papers at the hospital but instead the birth mom has to go to court to do it. This happens 3-5 weeks after the birth. During that time, at least with our agency, the baby will live in a bridge care home. Where they can visit and leave with the baby if they chose....but we also should be able to visit.
It has helped seeing the adoptive and birth parent interactions...and shown me some things to not do especially at ultrasounds if we were to go or at the hospital.
I want to see this show so bad but we don't have this channel! I wonder if I can watch it online or something. I love hearing that a show is out there that shows it's not all perfect. There are so many misconceptions about adoption and about fostering. People ask me all the time "how could a mother just abandon her baby?" and while I won't disclose details to perfect stranger or anyone who doesn't need to know that's here in our town I do feel the need to defend bio mom a bit and I always say "Well, she didn't, she made the right choice for them both for right now." People ask me too all the time when we're finalizing our adoption and I'm always like "Ummm....we don't even know if that's going to happen or not. Adoption isn't even being pursued legally yet." People talk about it already taking forever but almost 8 months in care in the foster care system is not considered very long. Awareness is always a good thing I think. So glad you posted this! :)
I love this show as well. I was adopted as an infant and I find it interesting to see what my birth mom might have gone through.
Our adoption could have seriously been a made for TV movie - OH THE DRAMA! I would do it all over again just to get the opportunity to be our daughters parents. She was worth it all!