Our dd's birth mom is pregnant again and we're planning to adopt the baby. She's due in November. I'm wondering when we should tel dd and how. She's 3 and only lived with us 7 months. She had a baby sister that went to live with her dad when we adopted dd. I'm worried this will bring back memories of her sister and confuse her again too. What do you ladies think?
Does she have contact with the birthmom? Really I don't think that I would tell her until it was very close to the time. Nov is a very long time away to a 3 yr old.
And how wonderful is that though that you guys will get a chance at the baby phase and have your daughters sibling!
I would be too scared of it falling through (which I very much hope does not happen) to tell her too much in advance. If you tell her now and she gets used to the idea and you all pick out a name and talk about her baby sibling all the time then it falls through, that could really hurt her. I would probably wait until a couple weeks or month before you should be bringing the baby home, at least waiting until almost the last min she won't have such a deep mental bond with the idea should something go wrong.
GOOD LUCK...I can't wait to see your second child in your arms!
Speaking from experience...wait. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about but if you don't have to tell her yet I'd wait. It's hard but last year we told DD about her baby brother that would be coming home in April and when it fell through we went through a lot of difficult conversations with her about why her brother wasn't coming home and her little friends brother did. This time while we were getting things ready for the new baby we just told her it was for just in case we got a new baby we wanted to be ready. We didn't tell her her sister was here until she was actually here and she's done great! She really wanted a sibling and she did help get things ready a lot she just didn't know when things would happen. Plus telling a 3 year old about something that's going to happen more than a month from now is a LONG time to hear...is it time yet!! Good Luck!