Just need to vent
Sorry I've been out of the loop for a while. My computer got very sick and Geek Squad just couldn't seem to make it (fully) better. So I've been enjoying a long break from all things internet. I hope everyone is doing well as we enter our second trimesters!!:dance:
I went in for my Genetic Counseling and it turns out I'm considered high-risk because I will turn 35 a month before I'm due. This meant I had a new test available to me. It's just been on the market since October, and it's non-invasive to the baby. It's also as accurate as an amnio and is being recommended to replace the amnio, since it doesn't have to occur so late. It's called a Cell Free DNA Test. They took two vials of my blood and checked it for chromosomes from the baby that were floating around in my blood. It covers the top 3 chromosomal abnormalities and potentially gender (if they find Y's, then you know it's a boy, but they might not find Y's in a particular sample, so they can't guarantee a girl diagnosis). Our big concern for the testing is being able to get a financial plan in place as soon as possible, as well as getting as well-informed about our baby's diagnosis as possible.
I just got my results back. Our baby has the normal numbers of chromosomes, so we don't have that concern anymore. They did find Y chromosomes, so we are having a little boy. I was surprised, since I was so sure I was carrying a girl. Having a boy actually makes me a bit nervous, to be honest. I've done quite a bit of nannying, but all the babies I cared for were girls. I'm afraid I may have higher expectations for my son, since the baby girls I nannied were very early learners and walkers and talkers. Plus I've never potty-trained a girl. I know I'll learn as I go and I, of course, know that every baby is different for aptitudes and milestones and they don't necessarily mean much in the overarching story. But I'm also worried about my son being like my brothers, with a natural anger management issue. I'm realizing as I type this, that having a son terrifies me. I want to be more excited about him and I feel guilty that I'm not. Everyone else is ecstatic. My husband is surprised, too, because he was sure we'd have a girl. He's very chill about having a son and is confident that our nurture will win out over any nature effects.
Some of my apathy also stems from the fact that I'm in pretty lousy health from this pregnancy. I sleep forever, but mostly because I'm constantly waking up from discomfort or bladder cues or the need to burp. I swear I burp like a frat boy! I've tried diet modification, lots of water, avoiding bubbly drinks, eating super-slowly, propping myself up when I sleep . . . but I still wake up all night with the need to burp choking me. I have no energy and no appetite. Getting food into me is a constant chore. I hate that I have to eat. Taking a shower exhausts me. When we go food shopping, I have to sit on the floor of the store multiple times to chase off nausea or rest. I've lost 10 pounds! I can no longer walk and talk without being out of breath. I wish I was showing, because people look at me weirdly all the time. I'm at a healthy weight, but I'm slender, so I often get total strangers coming up to me and telling me I should eat more, that I'm too skinny. Now, with my exhaustion, I get clucks of "anorexia" thrown at me. (I should note I live in Texas. When I lived in Japan and Korea, I was called fat because I have real curves. I am by no means underweight, either. I have some padding and could have probably lost 20 pounds pre-pregnancy quite safely.) I used to love walking and biking, now the thought of getting off the couch is almost too much effort. My food aversions are really quite strong and have cut out everything but carbs and dairy. I'm forcing myself to choke down fruit and yogurt in a desperate play to at least get some of my vitamins in a natural form. Vomiting is thankfully rare, but gagging, nausea, and near-vomiting occur quite often as hubby tries to make meals I will find appetizing. My docs have said this is normal and should fade and to just rely on my prenatal vitamins for now and play "catch up" in the second trimester, but that is almost here and I don't feel better. I enter week 14 tomorrow.
Does it really magically get better tomorrow?
I know I should just be grateful things aren't worse. My spotting showed back up the day of the genetic testing and the doc couldn't find a reason on the ultrasound, but the baby was measuring perfectly spot-on for my due date and his heartbeat was strong (148), so he wasn't worried. The spotting stopped a day later. I've only been able to have sex with my hubby once since week 4 (when I was was really spotting), either due to bleeding or just feeling rotten, but I don't think that triggered the spotting since it happened 5 days later. All he really said was if the baby is still viable at 20 weeks, then my chances of carrying to term rocket to 99%. (I'm glad he isn't my normal doc, I found his bedside manner off-putting. He suggested killing my cats as a solution to stopping them from jumping on my belly! I was just asking if that could have caused the bleeding.)
Well, thanks for lending me your shoulder. :)
:hugs: I am so sorry it has been rough and I would have stormed out of there if that doctor talked to me like that. I do not tolerate doctors with bad bedside manner and its the reason why only 2 of the 4 at my practice will be doing anything with me unless it is a medical emergency. Congrats on the little boy!:hooray: Boys are amazing and not as much worry as what you think. I am honestly scared if we get a little girl but just as scared if we get a little boy especially if its like DS lol. I hope you get feeling better soon and that the second trimester feel betterness starts showing for you. :hugs:
I'm so sorry you're still feeling yucky!! Has your Dr done a blood test checking for vitamin deficiency? It sounds to me like that may have something to do with your fatigue. I've found mine had really decreased as I've finished week 13.
I wouldn't worry too much about a boy. It will be a wonderful new experience for you and I think you are going to love it!!
When you sit down with your Dr, I would lay out your concerns about how sick you've been and see what suggestions he has. A good dr will sit and really listen to you and come up with a plan to get you feeling better.
Thinking of you!!!
Sounds like you've had a rough first trimester. I hope things get better for you. I definitely feel like I have more energy this past week. Will be 15 weeks on Monday. Although I have been getting migraines and getting sick this last week (I didn't have that the first trimester) I still have more energy.
I am also realizing that I'm scared to death of having a boy. I really thought DD was a boy and was shocked when they said girl. I haven't spent too much time around other kids so DD is all I know. I know #2 will be a different person altogether but the comfort of another girl would ease my mind. As a women boys seem so foreign.
I'm sorry that things have been so rough for you. Have you considered a medication for nausea? Without that for me, I would have lost probably 20 lbs so far because I could not eat and would be throwing up regularly without it. Mine is getting better now and yours most likely will, too. The fatigue could really just be the fact that you aren't eating enough, too. I do really hope that the second trimester wonderfulness kicks in for you soon!
Thanks for the positive responses and support! Sammi -- he was the genetic screening doc, I never have to see him again. Thankfully!! I wouldn't tolerate him as my normal doc, that's for sure! My cats (well, all the pets I've ever had and I've had many!) are my family, not just personality-less creatures that mooch off me. I'm glad I'm not alone in the scared of a baby boy boat! :)
JJorn -- the doc prescribed Zofram and it really helps with the active nausea, but hasn't helped with the food aversion nausea. Does that make sense? Before, I felt nauseaus all the time, and now it's just when I want to eat.
I went to Destination Motherhood today to get a Snoogle. Hope that will help me sleep better. Just that short trip left me out of breath, so I'll bring that up with my OBGYN again on Thursday. She had prescribed the Zofram in the hopes that it would let me eat more because she felt I was under-nourished. She also changed my prenatal vitamin.
I'm feeling more upbeat today after venting and talking to some friends about my concerns about having a boy. My dear friend who is due on Valentine's Day has thrown herself into wanting to design my nursery and come up and paint and buy clothes and a crib and keeps telling me I don't have as much time as I think. She's slowly driving me insane, but it's nice to have her excitement and joy.
We haven't really finished unpacking and getting everything sorted since our move here, so focusing on the nursery is almost impossible for me. Plus, I don't really plan to paint the nursery since my husband is set to deploy in September and baby and I will move back to my home town and rent this house out. I don't want to have to repaint the room. Plus, I don't think we will settle in my home town once he gets back, so why would I paint my temporary place? I am comfortable with living in places temporarily, but I think it will be nice when hubby retires from the Army and we settle into one place for a good amount of time. I mean, if we knew we were going to live in this house for 3 years, then I'd have no problem painting, but September isn't that far away and I don't want to live in this isolated area (isolated from friends and family, not isolated from anybody).
Plus I hate shopping. lol Everyone around talks about their ideal nursery and I'm just kind of apathetic about putting it together. I'd be happy picking a room out of a catalog and just getting whatever that designer put together, if it appealed to me. :) Anybody else feel that way?
Hey hun, I am sorry you are having a hard time of it. Hopefully all the symptoms will subside, and you will be ready to face the world!!! Just go easy on yourself, pg is not easy. Well done on the test results, we get our CVS results soon. when i found out shay was a boy, i didn't have a clue what I was going to do with him as I had convinced myself he was going to be a girl, but i can't imagine life without him now. Maybe for you it's fear of the unknown, and with me I still need DH's input when it comes to matters of Shay's 'wiggle'. I don't have a clue!!.
And stay away from cat killing doctor.
Feel better soon!!!
Sorry you have had such a tough first trimester! For me, the nausea has always gotten considerably better in the 2nd tri, but I usually stay really tired throughout the whole pregnancy. Everyone is different, but I hope you start feeling better soon!
Little boys are so much fun! I was a little nervous about having a boy because I grew up around little girls and did not have as much exposure to boys. But then my SIL had two boys and I realized they were really fun to play with, so I wasn't as nervous as I had been. You will be a great mommy to this little boy. As far as the nursery goes, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do! Take your friend's help and advice since she is so willing, and maybe it will be easier if she designs everything for you. :)