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My girls are driving me bonkers with their behavior but something that is absolutely making me want to rip my hair out is Kenedee's tendency to say No is such a hatefull sassy way when she is in trouble and/or fitting. It's like she makes the word no a two syllable word. She will stomp her feet and say No-wa. I of course can't actually say it on here but spelling no that way is my best way of describing it. She is at a massive fitting/sassy stage right now. Suggestions?
Elle is starting to get kind of sassy too since she started her new school. I figure they have some girls there with major tude or something and it is rubbing off and since Elle already has a little tude, it is not something I want to deal with.
I remind her not to speak to me immediately when she speaks in that tone. She even told me something that I "better not" do to her, something weird, like put some oil on her face or something. I made her go into timeout for being disrespectful. She has been catching herself luckily as I make her sit on her timeout step or go to her room when she speaks to me in a disrespectful fashion more than once during a day. The first time I will remind her and after that she is punished. I also make sure to let her know that I don't speak to her like that and I expect the same treatment from her, kind of like yelling, which she used to do but not so much anymore. I have also had to send her to her timeout step for speaking disrespectfully to Ky and DH. DH will let her get away with it and I don't like she has an attitude practically every time she speaks to Ky now. One of our major rules in our house is to speak respectfully to each other and tone of voice is included in that.
Erin
Like Erin I would remind my DD that we don't talk to each other that way, I don't talk to her that way, time outs in our room..... and none of it really worked. It ended up a battle of wills with my practically yelli g at her no speak nicely to me :eyeroll: I've just figured out what works for my DD, and now instead of telling her what I don't want, I tell her what I *do* want to see from her- usually just a "where's my sweet girl?" or something similar is enough to remind her and she turns the attitude off and repeats her request in a nice way.
I agree with the above, especially the bolded. When I remind Elle not to speak to me in a certain way, I remind her that she is my sweet girl and my sweet girl is very nice and treats people how they treat her. She usually is apologetic after that because she knows I always treat her well. I rarely yell, it is just not how I am I think I am kind of stepford mom in that since lol, but I have a mean mommy voice that I employ if I need to. But reminding her that she definately is my sweet girl who I love and adore and who is "my favorite girl in the world", always encourages Elle not to speak to me disrespectfully.Quote:
Originally Posted by MomOfAnOnly
Erin
This made me laugh as I have been there a couple times with the practically yelling at Paige to speak nicely to me... She pointed out to me that I'm not even speaking nicely to her. But what I do is similar to this as well. I remind her to stay connected with her higher self, that the way she is acting is bringing her down into her lower selves. This usually works rather well for us as we have ongoing conversations about staying connected with our higher selves and what that involves (treating everyone and everything with respect at all times).Quote:
Originally Posted by MomOfAnOnly
I will tell my kids that I do not speak them that way and I expect that they will not either. They have a chance to rephrase or they can go into their rooms until they are ready to speak kindly.
Oh yeah! I do the rephrasing thing too.. I think that is really helpful in giving her better ideas of what is appropriate to say.
My DD has been speaking in a sassy voice the moment she began to babble. It was hilarious then and not so hilarious now. I really should have recorded it. Now, I tell her that she does not speak to me that way and that I will not listen to her at all when she uses that voice. She generally speaks normally then. If not, she gets a timeout until she is able to speak in a nice voice. We treat whining/bossy voice/yelling the same way. Those voices aren't reserved just for me, of course, so I have to intervene regularly are remind her to speak nicely.
DS is only almost 3, but I live in "Sassy Land" - I am a high school teacher at an all-girls school. I have 110 freshman - so I swim in an ocean of hormones and mood swings.
I always find redirecting them in a positive way to get the best result. The whole gist is that they are trying to elicit attention from you - push buttons and get a response. If you don't allow your buttons to get pushed, they will try something else, and it is usually something more genuine and sincere. Of course -- it also requires unending amounts of self-control and patience!
:crazy::pokey::eyeroll::hair::eyebrow:
Good luck!!!!
I always enjoy reading your posts, Erin. Your approaches to parenting are so well thought out, you're doing a great job.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ky'sMom