I suck at it. I actually emailed my companion yesterday to see if we can get together for this month. She's got 4 kids, I've got my two...and the people on our route do not have toddler-friendly homes! So scheduling is a nightmare for us. Most months we end up talking to them on the phone. She was in the RS presidency, so she often visited with them anyhow. But I need to step up my VTing.
My VTers are faithful. I think in the year I've lived here they've only not come 1 or 2 times! I should take a few leaves from their books or something.
Incidentally, the only real reason that I can put my finger on that I'm active right now is from an excellent VTer/HTer couple. So you'd think I'd be better at it, huh?
Since we've moved here (last August) we've never been visited by HTs or VTs. The Elders Quorum presidency did drop by once. I haven't been given an assignment either. Usually though, if I can't get a visit in I do try to at least make contact somehow. It's hard to schedule visits when everybody has kids that are busy doing different things and different times.
OK, I'm horrible at making these posts adn keeping up to date, so I end up having to read like 2 pages worth of posts to catch up. With that said please forgive my belated comments.
I didn't watch any of Saturday's conference, I'm a slacker, but I did watch both Sunday sessions at home on my computer while doing a few other things. I thought the first session was really wonderful but the talk that touched me most was Elder Bednar's talk. It was about meaningful prayers and learning how to not just say "Thy will be done" but to mean it. It really struck me because I had an experience that the prior week in the temple. I am not a person who likes to hand over control any aspect of my life, I like to feel like ultimately I am in control of what happens to me and sitting in the temple that day was the first time I had been able to say "Thy will be done" and completely mean it and accept everything that it means, no matter what His will may be in my life. So anyway, sorry to get so churchy but I just thought I'd share that.
Now as far as VTing, I'm absolutely horrible at it. I haven't done it a single month this year and honestly it doesn't look like it'll happen this month either. I'll have to try and do better. It makes me feel so bad that I have extremely diligent VTers and thing the sisters on my list are stuck with me, someone who hardly ever does it.
I totally missed this at the top of the page and was hunting on page 2 :silly:
Well Since I haven't been to church in years I haven't been very good on VT, I also haven't had any visit me....we did have the missionary's come by once, but DH wasn't ready for them so he said he would call them when he was ready.....
Oh I have to report, I FINALLY called the ward I thought I was in to double check and I am in that ward, so John and I will be going to Sacrament on Sunday!! I bought him some pants to wear and I have 1 dress that still fits me so. I also bought him some crayons and a few things to take with us so hopefully he will be entertained. He loves to "sing" so I know he will at least enjoy the hymns :silly: My In laws will be here the next week so I know they will go with me and help.
Wow! That is so great, good for you for making the call!!! That is the first step and the hardest.
Originally Posted by EvandAl
Be sure and let us know what happens, I will be watching for your post!
WTG! Be sure and let us know how it goes. It might be intimidating...especially if your ward is like ours and every single child in there is on their best behaviour! But just keep in mind...children belong in church, so whatever you can do to get there with him...do it! OH, and we find it a necessity, still, to bring snacks to distract the girls. They're at an age where they shouldn't need them...but on Sunday's we throw that out the window and do whatever we can to make it halfway reverent during Sacrament! Oh, and make sure you talk to your RS president about visiting teachers. If you're not ready to be one, that's ok. But do as about being visited. That's your "right" so to speak! And you're probably on a list somewhere, but if you bring it up it will put a bee under the bonnet!
Originally Posted by EvandAl
Good for you Al! Now you've set a date, made a commitment :) we'll hold you to it!!!
Right now in our ward we do visiting teaching trios. It's very interesting. Honestly, I love it, and I hope the Church adopts it worldwide! Our RS president came up with the idea and go the ok from the stake president to start it out a few years ago. It ends up making visiting teaching much more about making friends, and takes FAR less time than the old method of matching your schedule with the comp's schedule and making several long visits to sisters who live all over town. Here's how it work:
Each sister is in a "trio" - group of three (duh :) ). So there's me and 2 other sisters. Some trios have a 4th less-active member to fellowship, I used to, but now we don't any more. The trio meets once a month and you can do it anywhere - at one of your homes (we rotate doing it in our homes b/c we all have little kids), at a park, go out for lunch, go to the temple, anything. You make ONE visit and that's it.
Now of course in a ward with lots of less active members this may not work. But I really like it. I feel like I've gotten to know the sisters in my trios (this is my 2nd one - the first 2 both moved - college town) better than if they were just coming into my house & I felt like I was being checked off their list. Not that I've always felt that way from VTers, but sometimes.
As for HTs, we didn't have anyone come the first year we lived here, it was really hard. We didn't even know who it was for a long time, so one night when I was pregnant and vomiting & about to go to the ER, we had to call the EQ president to come over and help David give me a blessing. In the past we've had rock-star HTs who helped out so far above & beyond the call, they were amazing. Our current two are pretty good about coming and have helped us out when Truman had his ear surgery with a blessing & I do feel like if we needed something they'd help us if they could.
It's weird, we've reached an age where our HTs are a bit younger than us. It's a new feeling!
I think the trios idea sounds fun! Our ward has 30 companionships and 200 people to visit...so I don't think it'd work in our ward. But it would be a fun thing to do as like an enrichment group. Maybe slightly larger groups-like 5 or 6-that get together once a month. That'd be nice because they could have groups based on different things. Like age of kids or something like that. I often feel I'm the only one in my ward with kids my age. Well, my girls make up 1/3 the nursery, so there's not too many others. But still, it'd be fun to get to know the others. I've been in the ward it wasn't until Taela died that I quit getting asked if I was new-after that everyone knew who we were! I even had the moms of some of my Mia Maids asking if I was new!
We've been married 4 years and I can count on 3 fingers the number of times we've had HT come by. John's been in the EQ presidency for close to 3 of those years, different wards, and I don't know if the men think they don't need to visit the presidency's families or what. When my water broke we called my dad at 3am to come give a blessing with John. That meant a 25 minute wait. Not that it would have mattered in my situation, but in others it might have! Sad because there are so many ward members within a mile of us...but darned if we knew any enough to feel comfortable to call them!
We may have similar numbers. How many of the 200 sisters are less active/inactive? I think if the RS presidency takes time to contact all the less active/inactive sisters and point-blank say, "Do you wish to continue to receive visits? If not would you be okay with receiving a phone call or card in the mail?" Our old ward did that one year during Christmas - partly as a way to make sure they all knew we were still thinking of them and partly so we could 'weed out' (that sounds bad, but you know what I mean!) the ones who really did not want to be bothered any more. Some had been attending other churches for a long time but just didn't want to be rude & say stop calling me! :) So after they do that, they probably would have a much smaller # of less actives to actually visit.
Originally Posted by shortysally
But for the sake of argument let's say 1/3 of the sisters in your ward are less actives, 67 of the 200. So that leaves about 133 sisters who will do visiting teaching and be taught. If you put them into about 44 trios and assigned half the trios 1 less active sister and half of them (the ones who most often DO the VT) 2 less active sisters, it would work! And it's so much LESS WORK, let me tell you. Even if you have 2 less actives. The three of you in your trio would get together once for the month & visit & discuss the message. Then all three or just one or two (however it worked best for everyone's schedule) could call the less active sisters, see if they'd like a visit, go see them, or send them a card or whatever. In any case you're making at most 2 visits per month rather than (for me anyway) five or six.
I have totally rambled here. Sorry. :)
There are a handful of old ladies in our ward who don't like the trios so they are all paired off & they all visit each other! :)
Heather, that sounds so much more casual, I like it! Then you make friendships rather then feel like you have to put on a happy smiling fake face when they come. And if you are friends with someone you open up more and talk to each other about important things and really care about each other. And we all know that people will come to church more if they have someone there that they consider a friend, who looks for them each Sunday. Great ideas!
Anybody have any girls camp tips they can pass my way, anything fun you have heard of or done yourself???
Another topic I would like some help on...Do you or have you invited non member friends to church or church activites?:huh:
We live on a small short street where there are only 16 houses around us, 3 of us are active LDS, we have this family in our neighborhood who are great, so good with their kids, I am totally comfortable sending my DD to play there and I actually enjoy their kids playing at our house. Anyway, I have been feeling the need to invite them to something and I just don't have the courage to do it. We have had them over to play board games and have dessert before and it went really great, I know the mom doesn't know a lot of people here so I say hi to her all the time, but other then that we hardly talk.
I was going to invite them to my DD soccer game this Saturday because their DD wants to sign up next year so that would be good for her to see the league and my DD has been asking if they could come and watch her. So I thought I would start with that and try to be a better friend first, then when the time and activity is right I will invite them to something, I am just so afraid that if they don't want to come that they will think that is the only reason I was befriending them and that is not the case at all, I have been wanting to be a better friend to her, I just haven't gotten around to it. (Dumb excuse I know!) :duh:
So I guess I talked myself into it just by typing this, I will invite their family to soccer on Saturday and try to be a better friend. We have a few other LDS kids/parents on our team so I will try to introduce them to my friends on Saturday, that is a pretty casual way to bring up the church...Hey, I'd like you to meet my friend that I know from church this is so and so...that kind of opens a door a little to let them know we go to church and their are great people there.
Any other thoughts out there? :silly:
I think it sounds like a perfect idea & I'm so proud of you for having such a good plan! Please let us know how it turns out.
I don't frequently have opportunities to even talk to non-LDS people but when I do, it seems impossible to bring up the church without it sounding like I'm forcing it, yk? The sister missionaries were over a few months ago & wanted us to pray about a family we could share the gospel with, and we sincerely prayed, but just came up empty! I felt so bad and now I avoid them at church... I feel like they think "Oh THAT family won't spread the gospel!" :silly:
I'm crappy at missionary experiences. I have one family nagging on my mind. But it's a touchy situation. He's a member. He's my best friend. My parents consider him a son, his kids call my parents Nana and Papa. His wife is my next best friend (I've known him for a lot longer than I have her, though). She's not a member. And claims she never ever will be. "I'm a good person and I've never gone to any church before. I believe in God. Why do I have to go to church to be a good person?" That sort of thing. The bottom line is that she was treated very poorly by her husband's roommates when they first started dating. Because he was supposed to be going on a mission and they though he shouldn't be dating a non-member. He hadn't told them, but he couldn't go on a mission due to some other circumstances from before they ever met. But whatever. So she was treated horridly. And that was her first exposure to a group of Mormons and the LDS church. Sad, huh? Stupid young adults! And 4/5 of his roommates were RM's and should have known better! Anyhow, she'd be a beautiful LDS mama. She really would be. But things are just so touchy with her. Never know what'll offend her. And Jason just avoids the subject. He quit going to church when his roommates got over the top over her and they went together for awhile while they were engaged. I got them to get our bishop to marry them so they went for about 6 months to get know the guy. And then Crystal kept going for a few months because she thought Jason wanted to, when really he just wanted to do whatever she was comfy with....blah blah blah. And now she's made comments like "I want Jax (her son) to grow up to be a polite little boy! And if he has to go to Primary to learn that, he will. But I"ll never join the Church." How much sense does that make???
That would be rough Tif. I would probably be too chicken to ever even think about bringing it up. That is sad that she was treated so badly by members. I hate that people can be so shortsighted and judgmental. I think that anyone who is trying to have missionary experiences is amazing.
I'm with you, Heather, the missionaries always ask us to seek out someone that we can share the gospel with, we never do and then I feel guilty every time I see the missionaries. I use a terrible excuse. I just feel like, Hello, I live in Utah. Everyone here is either a member, was a member, or already has strong feelings as to why they do not want to have anything to the church. I'm bad, I know.
I'm awful at VT. As long as I have a companion that I already know, then I do okay, but when I am put with a companion that I have no idea who she is, and I have to visit people that I've never heard of before I can't make myself take the initiative to go. I'm hoping once I'm in a ward that isn't a student ward it will be a little easier for me.
My parents ward does VT a lot like Heather's ward. My mom loves it as well. Their group just goes with the first Tuesday of every month and switches homes each month. The person who is hosting prepares a message. She said that it much more like being friends then fulfilling a calling. I would love to do that. I really don't like when VT's come because it doesn't feel personal at all. I have a hard time feeling like they even care at all.
Well we filled out questionnaires (anonymously) about our trio VT experiences because the stake president wanted to send them to our area general authority... so maybe something is in the works? :)
I did the trio thing in some of my single student wards. I liked the concept, I don't know if it was too much different in the execution for us though. It's kinda like how RS is supposed to have little enrichment groups. That concept is good too, but I haven't been anywhere where I've seen it executed well yet. I guess old habits die hard.
Since the new enrichment standards were put in place our RS enrichment has become almost non existent. Their is maybe one mini group and the once every three months or so that they are supposed to do a big group one they don't really do it. They just throw something together real quick. You can tell their was really no planning or real thought put into it. They usually announce it the week before as something like "come and eat ice cream and get to know your fellow sisters." And that is all it is. They dish out ice cream and people can sit around and talk.
So I need a little encouragement today. I don't know if any of you remember how I was joking around that we were going to be made nursery leaders, well it has happened and I'm really having a hard time dealing with it. All I do all day every day is watch my little boy. I really don't want to spend most of church doing the same thing along with adding a few. I already feel like it is so hard to get anything out of church, but now I won't even try because I'll just be babysitting.
I'm trying to have a good attitude about it, but I'm just having a rough week and it just seems so unfair. Their are so many other couples in the ward that don't spend their entire life around a baby. I love being a mom, but I was really looking forward to have a couple hour break in church.
DH doesn't understand and just thinks it will be fun, but he spends 9 hours a day 5 days a week not in the house and not with a baby. I just feel like they could have found someone else so easy that didn't already have a baby to take care of.
Last summer I was called to teach Sunbeams (Lucy was in there at the time, plus five other 4-year-olds) with another woman who has no children. She LOVED her calling; I did not. I really, really needed those 2 hours of church of having just one child to contend with (Truman had JUST gotten into nursery like a week before) and plus if DH would take Penny to priesthood I actually got a whole hour child-free!
But I tried to have a good attitude and I tried to think they were inspired in giving me that calling... but after 4 or 5 Sundays I just could not take it any more. I would leave church in tears, I was just so exhausted and mentally burned out on kids. There were rowdy boys in the class and I'd have to hold one on my lap during all of singing/sharing time. It was hard to feel the spirit at all, honestly.
So I spoke to the bishopric member who is over primary and just said, "I'm going through some stuff right now and I can't do this calling, I'm sorry." He said he totally understood and then the next week they'd replaced me but asked if I'd be willing to be a sub if need be - I had no problem with that but so far they've never asked me.
My point in telling you all this (sorry it's All About Me time! ;) ) is that my advice is, give it a month. Maybe you'll really love but if you don't, do NOT feel bad asking to be released. I know from my own experiences in PEC meetings that not all callings are given because they are inspired; sometimes it's just a matter of needing a body in a certain calling and the first person who comes to the primary president's mind (or RS pres or whoever).
Well, the family that I was going to invite to soccer couldn't come this week, but said they definatly want to come next week so they can check out the league and support my DD. :yeehaw: How nice! So my missionary experiance is postponed until next weekend. Which is probably a good thing because if they would have stayed and watched the next game that I coached it wouldn't have been good, I must say I was not very Christian towards the other coach. His players were very rough with my players and I told him that I didn't appreciate it, he was talking crap to my players and I had the ref go have a talk with him and ask him to not talk to my players, needless to say he was not very happy with me. :( Oh well, next week will be better. We don't have to play that team again until next year. Grrrrr.
ladybug yay for asking!! :gome: Can't wait to hear how it goes next week!!
So I DID IT! I finally went to sacrament :yeehaw: BUT we had to leave after 30 minutes :(. John was acting GREAT but he had an explosive diaper and it got all over his pants, and dumb mommy didn't have any other clothes with us :duh: and it was chilly today so I didn't want to just leave him in a diaper and shirt.
Oh another total DOH on my part :doh:. So DH drove me to the church last night so I would know how to get there (it's in a city I never go). So I knew it would only take like 25 minutes to get there. But of course I'm nervous so I left so early that we got there 20 minutes early :laugh:, so I let John run around in the car (we have a suburban) and like 5 minutes before I get out, well of course John doesn't want to come so it takes me a few minutes to get him. We walk in the chaple and it's packed!! So we had to sit in the last row of Metal chairs (another reason I didn't want him in just a diaper). And the meeting started a minute later. So we didn't get to even talk to anyone :cry:
But there were LOTS and LOTS of families with young kids :silly:, it was so nice to hear kids crying HAHA. So I am excited to go back next week. Plus my In laws will be with me so I will have help with John.
YAY YAY YAY! I'm so glad you went!!!! Sorry about the explosive poop and timing issue... but still, you made it! :) I'm sure next week will be lots easier too.
We had a rough Sunday. Kids were just wild, and both Truman & Penny only wanted to be held by ME, which made DH feel rejected so he started acting kind of mad at me (yeah, that makes sense, like I brainwash them to only want ME?). Then after church when we were eating lunch, DH decided to start a new rule that Truman HAS TO wear a bib when he eats. Well of course when he's very tired and very hungry is NOT a good time to instill a new rule, and Truman flipped out. It was terrible.
Everyone's happy now of course and I am SO happy it's nearly dinner time and that means nearly bed time... Whew!
Question Of The Day:
What's your Sacrament-meeting battle plan? What snacks/toys/books/other ideas do you have for making the time pass smoothly & pleasantly?
umm....today ours was to not go :shame: First off neither of us heard the other one's alarms...which almost never happens. Then the girls didn't even wake up until 8:45 so neither did we...church is at 9. And so yeah, we didn't make it. We planned to go for the last 2 hours...but then we didn't even make it to that. We suck. We're having a hard time with this. It's so easy right now to decide not to go. Mostly for me because I get sad and weepy and I hate that. And if I'm not gung ho about going then it's real easy for John to decide not to because he was raised to only go when it was convenient.
Originally Posted by LuTruPeMo
Next week is Stake Conf but we're determined to go the week after that. Y'all will have to hold us accountable!
Al, I'm glad you guys made it! That first time can be 1/2 the battle. Sucks about the poop explosion...but there's always next time!
Okay, how's this for embarrassing butt-biting irony?
So, we didn't go to Church today. John has been hankering for a Wii. I ok'd it because A)his birthday is this Friday and B)he bought me a new sofa/loveseat set yesterday that was quite a bit more $$ than he'd ok'd me on spending. So he found one online and has been working on buying it. Needs to get a money gram. He's one of those "well, we blew it by not going to church today, better just blow it all the way" people and decided to go to WinCo to get a moneygram. Stopped at Fred Meyer (sort of like a super Target) on the way, "just to see if they had any Wii's in stock" and whaddyaknow...they do! Ok, fine. Well, he's on the phone telling me that and that he's going to buy it...and who walks up to help him in the electronics department? His old HT companion who he could never get to go out with him. Who's since become totally on the ball with church. And who just started picking up extra hours because baby #5 was just born last month. And who was at church today and noticed that John wasn't there to teach the EQ lesson (John's 1st counselor in the presidency)... :shame: John's pretty cowed right now!
:sofunny: OMHeck Tif that is hilarious! Isn't that always the way? :) I think Heavenly Father gets us sometimes.
DH and I went out to eat on a Sunday a few months ago. My mom was here to visit for just the day, and since we rarely get to go out alone together (we have no family here) we said, well, okay.... Well halfway through dinner we realized NEITHER of us had our wallets with us. :) So we had to call my mom, who had to drive across town, and she's totally unfamiliar with this town, to bring me my wallet. Not a huge deal but funny and I guess it was our way of knowing we weren't really doing the 'right' thing.
All that being said... there's a Radiohead concert in August that I REALLY want to go to, but alas, it's on a Sunday. I'm trying to decide what to do. I haven't been to a concert since I was like 15. I think it was White Snake. :dance:
Guess I'll answer my own question, eh? :)
Originally Posted by LuTruPeMo
We bring only non-crumb-y snacks now (no more crackers, though Wheat Thins aren't too crumby, no more Cheerios, that kind of thing). We bring dried fruit (craisins & raisins are big hits), cheese (cubes or sticks), or grapes cut into 1/4s. This helps with the mess factor, which stresses me out to see we've left a big mess in the chapel, so it's a stress reliever for me! I pack all our snacks the night before and put them in our church bag. I also pack a bottle for Penny though pretty soon she won't need that any more, along with diapers and our 'busy stuff." Okay, so the 'busy stuff':
For Lucy, I pack a coloring book, a blank paper notebook, a few colored pencils, an ink pen, and a few markers. She'll entertain herself for a long time coloring & drawing. For Truman, I bring flannel board story pieces. Some I've made and some I've bought online. I try to bring a different set each week (so every other week it's the same) - they stick really well to the fuzzy material on the pews. I can't bring toy cars because he'll "drive" them along the back of the pew, which is only ok if we sit in the BACK row but otherwise drives the people behind us nuts.
We've tried books but honestly have had little success with them. I see other kids contentedly reading books quietly and am so jealous of their parents! Penny might flip the pages of a board book for a few minutes, but that's it.
We make them wait until after the sacrament to have any snacks. So that keeps them reverent for the first 15 minutes. After that, it's a total crap-shoot.
So this is my great advice. :silly: Not too great, I know. We're still trying to find what works, what doesn't, and it seems to change every few months. I have found that if I take 20 minutes the night before to pack our church bag and lay out all the kids' clothes, it's a lot less stress for me in the morning.
WTG EvandAl :yeehaw:!! I'm so glad that you made it even though you had to leave early, it's a start. I'm sure next week will go better.
Sorry that you didn't make it today, Tif. We woke up late too, and if it wasn't for DH I probably would have rolled over and went back to sleep. DH is so on top of things. He really keeps me going when I have those days when I just don't want to go.
Church went a lot better than expected. Nursery actually wasn't too bad. I planned a lesson about animals and so I brought all of Benson's toy animals and showed the kids. We talked about where they lived, the sounds they made, and of course that they were Heavenly Father's creation. They we colored and made animal finger puppets that they actually really liked, until they started to eat them :silly: . They also called another couple so that we can switch every other week, so that will be really nice.
Heather, is Sacrament meeting supposed to go smoothly and pleasantly with a baby? I must have missed that somewhere. :laugh:.
Treats, toys, and books. That keeps him entertained for about half of it. Another thing that we have started to do that makes a HUGE difference is we sit near the front. That way he doesn't see the doors going out and he isn't trying to run out all the time. We also don't let him play if we do have to take him out. He just has to sit on our laps until he is ready to go back in. That has made a WORLD of difference in a Sacrament meetings. So that's about it. Some weeks it works, others it doesn't. I don't know how we would do it with multiple kids.
Oh, and I finally met my VT companion today and was like, "we should go." and come to find out they had just moved and today was the last week in our ward. Go figure.
This is what I brought today.....
Originally Posted by LuTruPeMo
Snacks: Fruit Cheerio's, Graham fish, and Raisins. I would prefer to bring dried fruit, but we are out right now so I had to go with what's in the pantry. The Raisins entertain John for a long time, as long as they are in the little box. Once it gets closer to the bottom it's harder for him to reach so it takes him a few minutes each time HAHA
Toys: I brought a few little cars, he didn't even play with them though. I also brought a mini magna-doodle, he loves that thing.
Books: I brought a ton. John is really into the Flap books, he does each flap at least 2 times. He had one that is colors and shapes. He also has a Noah's ark flap book. I brought his book of Mormon stories book and I know one other but I can't remember now.
I also brought church coloring pages. A picture of Christ for during sacrament and one about the creation. Plus a Curious George coloring book. I also always have a pen for him. Sometimes he refuses crayons but LOVES pens and he could color on the back of the printed coloring pages I brought.
I think that was everything :silly: