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We most certainly weren't in the 1% where we grew up. When we sold that house and moved to Tucson, though, the difference in cost of living allowed my parents to buy a really fancy home here. I think to move back to where we lived in Westchester now you would need to be in the 1%, or at least close. I've heard most of that land that was open woods when we were growing up has been developed now. It makes me really sad to think of it.
Mandy, I used to live in Yonkers. I love NYC. It was great fun just kind of wandering around, going to cheapo plays where I was sitting so close I could see the zits on the actors' face, eating off the carts and at hole in the wall joints for very little money. And, OMG, the bagels!
I have no interest in futuristic or dystopian anything, but might have to at least read the first book. Usually, with books that have a lot of hype behind them, I feel underwhelmed. Like the HP series.
And YAY!!! for Kai. I hope he gets a huge growth spurt to make up for lost time.
The bagels are great. What I wouldn't give for a black and white cookie right about now!
And yes, there is a lot of hype surrounding the Hunger Games, but I do feel the writing is excellent. It was a great read. And I admit I've never read either HP or Twilight so I don't usually go for fad books.
Go Kai!
I might see the movie around Easter maybe with my MIL when she comes to visit. I'm also probably ok waiting for DVD and just buying it. Going to the movies is kind of expensive now and I like the idea of watching at home and pausing for a bathroom break if needed.
I did of course read the books but I tend to like dystopian books. Those that liked it, check our Delirium and the next one Pandemonium....first book is a bit slow but the second one is fantastic....stuff I didn't see coming and i couldn't put it down. Course now I have to wait for spring 2013 for the final in the series to come out.
I liked visiting NYC and plan to again sometime. I think that when you live near a city, it tends to lose some hype and appeal. I know people love Chicago and while it has great museums, I'm kind of over it. I grew up maybe 90 minutes by train and we used to go down fairly regularly...a few times a year generally.
Now I live in a nice medium sized town and really love that. I have a soybean and corn field in my back yard but am only 3 miles from work and maybe 15 minutes to the mall if I hit all the lights, 10 minutes if I get more green lights. 90 minutes and I'm in Minneapolis/St. Paul if I wanted to see a broadway musical or major sporting event or wanted fancier shopping like Ikea. But really my town is big enough to have most of the stores I like to shop at and has some liberal people and university....but yet small enough that it's a low crime rate and not really much in the way of traffic.
My DH is not handy. Part of why we built a new house instead of dealing with one that had issues that needed fixing and we would be hiring people. I have hired someone to install the invisible dog fence. I'm going to hire someone to finish the basement (and it's already framed and insulated). When that gets done though DH will have his own room down there....his will be his lego/train room.
Ithaca is a small city, population around 100,000 I think, and it has far more to offer than I'll ever take advantage of in a lifetime. I'm just not interested in plays, art, culture or anything like that. In fact, the things I utilize most in Ithaca are the gorges and forests around Ithaca. People from "The City" (as in NYC) come up all the time, or live up here during the week and go 'home to "The City"' on weekends and they say Ithaca has a lot to offer as far as arts and culture and whatnot...I couldn't care less. I'd rather sit by a lakeside campfire, smell fir trees, and listen to crickets. All.the.time.
And forget shopping. Most of you know my intense hatred of it. I try to only go to the mall twice a year. School clothes and Christmas.
Tucson is a fairly big city - I think we are over a million people now. It's built out, not up, though, so it doesn't look/feel like a big urban center. We are right in the city center and have a decent sized back yard. We also have a great university and all that goes along with that, which is nice, but we don't have the truly big city stuff. It really has a small town feel, even as big as it is. I mostly like that we have lots of restaurants and coffee shops close at hand. I also live less than 3 miles from work, which is really amazing, especially in a big spread-out city, so I don't really need to go very far (except when I visit my parents!) I also really love the historic southwest architecture in this area. The only real drawbacks are the heat and the lack of industry here.
I like where we live now. We're close enough to DC that we can enjoy the museums and culture, the food scene is amazing and getting better all the time, low crime, and our school system is considered excellent. Big problems - we're part of this idiotic commonwealth, which is happy to take all the revenue generated here and then waste time and resources passing moronic legislation, the traffic is AWFUL and getting worse all the time, and we've probably got the worst drivers on the planet.
Way to GROW Kai!!! That is so wonderful!
And you should suggest your DBF go in the boathouse and play poker. He basically already has an office WTH!
Forest Gump is one of my all time favorite movies. Have you read the book Chrissy? I didn't even know there was a book until a couple years ago and the book is one of my favorites now too. Of course they are really different, but both have a great story and it made me feel like I watched Forest Gump Part 2 by reading it LOL!
Do you watch independent movies? I usually only watch them now and have seen some great movies recently. But DH says I like slower moving movies so you may not like my taste. "Doubt" with Meryl Streep as the nun was really good to me. I just loved her character and I don't know if she won an Oscar or not, (Viola Davis was nominated for this movie as well, the lady who was the main black housekeeper in "The Help") but she made that movie and it was very intriquing and a wonderful film to me. Even DH liked it and he usually doesn't like those types of movies.
Also that newer Star Trek movie was good too. That has probably been my favorite of the "newer" sci-fi action movies that I have seen. I can watch that movie more than once. I also watched a good movie recently called "Frozen River." It has the teenage son that is on that show "The Middle" in it and is about a lady smuggling illegal immigrants into the country via an Indian Reservation. The lady teams with an Indian lady to make money so she can buy a house for her kids because her husband up and left her and took all their money right by Christmas and left her in a bind. It was a really good movie.
I could go on about some great movies I have seen recently. Even though most of the time I don't feel I get my monies worth out of Netflix, I do watch at least 3 movies per week (usually all in one day).
Erin
That's brilliant about Kai; so the gluten-free really is working for y'all!
Erin, I really enjoyed that movie Doubt as well. Do you think the priest was guilty? I think he was.
I haven't read any Harry Potters or Twilights or this newest one Hunger Games. I think it's probably because I just don't have much time to read now days, but also, I think I have a thing against current authors. I like my stories to be written before I was born...don't know why; I just respect the older authors like Tolkien and the Brontes. (Speaking of the Brontes, we don't live that far from where they lived, so if y'all ever come over, we'll go visit and walk the moors that Catherine and Heathcliffe walked! :D )
I am up to my last episdoe of Battle Star Galactica. I don't want it to end! I'm feeling like I'm going to miss it so much. As for movies, I've loved every Leo DiCaprio movie I've seen the past few years, like the Departed and Blood Diamond. And I love Elijah Wood, too, so I loved the LOTR trilogy. I can't wait to see The Hobbit!
I love where we live. We are out in the country in a smallish village, but are only a 20 minute drive to Leeds, which is the second largest city in England. I loooove going shopping in Leeds.
The kid went out to help DH buy a computer, fell asleep in the car, and is still asleep, 2 hours later. When I try to wake her up, she can't keep her eyes open, and is falling over like a drunk. It's going to be a loooong night.
Mandy, that's what I loved about the AZ cities-they really didn't feel like cities at all. I think Flagstaff was my favorite, but I didn't get to really visit Tuscon so maybe I'd like that one better. I think I need to come check it out and compare ;)
I did know about the Forrest Gump books and read them both right after the movie was out. I agree, even though they were different from the movie, they were both very good. I wish they made good movies like that still. I really cannot get into this whole hocus pocus (harry potter) or vampire stuff. I never had any imagination, but at this age I think it's immature. I dunno. I don't like pretend :P I don't really know what the Hunger Games is, but since I don't generally like books/movies that are popular, I don't even bother looking into it.
I can't think of when I watched an indy film and I don't remember if I liked it or not. It really takes a lot for a movie to both capture and keep my attention through the whole thing. The Social Network wasn't really a great film, but it was interesting to me because it combined my three favorite things-people, computers and Facebook. :P Interpersonal relationships and personality types fascinate me (I would be a therapist if there was a way I could do it without going into so much student loan debt). Mark Zuckerburg's personality and lack of social skills was a key component in that film, and whether it was truly accurate or not, it was something to think about.
Ash-I would love, love, love to visit the places where Catherine and Heathcliffe walked! :wub: I love history and love stories. Combine the two, and yeah...I'm hooked. I actually read a historical fiction book way before the movie the Titanic was out or even talked about and went through a phase of about a year when I was obsessed with Titanic. I nearly peed myself when I learned about the movie. :P I even went to see it twice in the theater. That's the only movie I couldn't wait for it to be on DVD to see a 2nd time.
I went to see Titanic 4 times at the movies because I was 16 and obsessed with Leo D. :-o
The only other movie I saw more than once at the theatre was Star Wars Episode 1.
The Hunger Games wasn't as amazing as I'd hoped :( It was good, my heart was pounding the whole time, but I thought they could have done some things better.
I'm sad to hear that! I'm glad you did like it, though.
Chrissy, Flagstaff is a really charming little city/town. I went to school there for a while and I do love it. It has a totally different feel, though, being a mountain town rather than a desert town. Much prettier - but it doesn't have the Southwestern feel Tucson does.
Go Kai! And :hooray: for rewards for all the hard work of going gluten-free!
DH has a media room upstairs that's supposed to be a man-cave, but he just uses it to play wii with Abbey very occasionally. He also has workspace in the garage, but uses it mostly for household stuff. He could really use more space, he's very handy, especially with wiring/electrical because of his job.
I think I've said that where I live is "great for families!", in other words, a super-sized suburbia. Not a huge fan and we miss Colorado quite a bit.
I had the same thoughts. I kept pointing out all the differences throughout the movie or things that were left out and my friend who was only on chapter 4 or something about jumped out of her seat at one point. Since I knew what was coming pretty much I wasn't phased as much.Quote:
Originally Posted by daylilies
I was the one in the theater going 'Can he die already so we can go home?' during Titanic. Nearly cheered when he did, except all the weepy people would've killed me. Hated that movie, except for the special effects.
I read it quite a while ago so I don't really remember what they skipped or did different. I think it's expected that some will be different since it's not entirely in Katniss' point of view like the book.Quote:
Originally Posted by misfit
Sorry I cannot contribute to The Hunger Games discussion. I'm not entirely sure what it is but it does sound interesting based on what my brother was telling me at dinner a few nights ago. I don't remember the last movie I saw in the theater but I'm sure it was a kids movie. I do think one has to take a movie for what it is as it can never live up to the book. It's a totally different art form.
Different subject but does it bother anyone else when parents label their children based on their negative behaviors, thus perpetuating the behavior? My friend came over with her family yesterday and her three year old daughter whom they call (in front of her) the Tornado and the Monster. She comes into the room and just destroys it, throwing toys, knocking over what can be knocked, grabbing the cat...and then out. On to the next. Her parents laugh about it half the time and yell at her for it the other half. They referred to her by those names several times and said that her daycare provider calls her the same thing. When they drop her off in the morning they say, "Tornado Warning!"
I have to say I just plain feel sorry for the girl. She desperately needs some limits set and for the adults to stop making fun of her. :(
Chrissy, it's funny you say 100K population is a small city. I would consider that more a medium large city. LOL
Movies....I really dislike subtitles so I pretty much won't watch foreign ones. My MIL has a copy of The Artist (and a couple other new ones like the Help) she said she would bring up (her husband is a member of SAG so they mail copies of movies that are up for awards). I said I don't care how good it is supposed to be or how many awards it's won....I'm NOT interested in a freaking silent movie. Blech. I also don't really care for black and white movies.
I also loved the new Star Trek one. Some other favorites are Truman Show, Matrix, Legally Blonde, Clueless (that is actually a favorite of my DH's LOL), Cruel Intentions, Flight of the Navigator, Rent, Moulin Rouge, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Ferris Bueller, Night at the Roxburry, Down with Love. I own all of those and of course had seen many times. I also really enjoyed but don't own Whatever Works.
Aww Ash, I hate when the series comes to an end. I LOVED it. They did a BSG prequel called Caprica and just when it was really getting good, they cut the series. But at least kind of had an ending and you could sort of see how they ended up where they did on BSG.
Did you ever watch any Stargate? It's a lighter series but I really liked that one too.
Labels can definitely perpetuate behavior. I remember I used to excuse DD's behavior when we were around people and she'd hide behind me or tuck her face into me and not talk, and I would say, "She's just a little shy." She clung to that for ages. She would tell me she wasn't going to talk to people at some event because, "You know I'm shy, Mommy." She did that long after she lost her stranger anxiety and was completely interested in making friends and talking to strangers.
I remember reading in the book Raising Happiness that it was a good idea to give a temporary/contextual reason for unwelcome behavior, if a reason needs to be given at all. The author talks about low blood sugar or being tired, but I am not too fond of the low blood sugar reason. So in the case of Miss Tornado, for example, instead of assigning a permanent characteristic like being a tornado, you could say something like, "You must have eaten a good breakfast to have so much energy. Can you do 20 jumps on the trampoline and show me how much energy you have?" or in our case, often one twin says to the other one, "You're being mean!" That is assigning a characteristic.
I have to stop myself from telling them I don't like it when they are being mean or whiny, or when they ask for something 20 times in a row after I have given them very clear indications of exactly when they were going to get that thing they asked for. So instead of calling them mean or whiny, or shy, or whatever, I try to remember to say, "It sounds like you aren't in a very good mood right now. Do you want a little quiet time, or would you like to start over and think about how you are talking to your sibling?" or "Sometimes people don't feel very sociable. It's okay to not feel like talking to other people."
People tend to be happier if they can blame 'failures' on circumstances that can change rather than personal characteristics.
I had a work conference about an hour away all day yesterday, and I was on the Board (this is part of my volunteer position) so I was helping put on the conference, and I had to be there Friday night for the Board Meeting. I brought the twins down during the day on Friday and we stopped by DH's work and went to a children's museum. They had a lot of fun. My mom stayed at our house and watched the baby overnight. DH called me twice, once because he couldn't find their toothbrushes and once because they said they were refusing to go to sleep without me. I heard a lot of shrieking in the background and it was hours past their bedtime. I left and went up to the room.
When people meet my kids, I most often hear how cute they are, and how much energy they have. I can never tell if the energy comment is just a comment, or if it has subtext like "a little TOO much energy" or "you shouldn't let them run around like that" or "maybe you should be concerned." I hear that energy comment ALL the time. Even from other parents of similarly-aged kids.
I always wonder about comments like that too, Lydia. It does often seem when people say things like that they are trying to be nice about something that could be percieved as negative behavior. I know when we were with my family last weekend my cousin kept saying over and over how shy my kids are, even after they'd warmed up and weren't shy at all anymore. Earlier both her and her mom and commented to me about a facebook status of mine where I wasn't happy with some things Savana had learned about since she started school. They were telling me about how it's good for kids to learn early about the bad stuff in the world blah blah blah. I don't engage in those conversations because it doesn't matter to me what a relative I see once a year thinks about my desire to homeschool. Anyway, I knew that her comments about my kids being shy was her way of saying she thinks they don't get enough socialization. Luckily my other cousin, her sister, who visits us a couple of times a month just laughed at her and said if she knew my kids at all she'd know they aren't shy in the least once they warm up. I'm like that too. I don't want people all up in my face the moment I meet them. I'd rather sit back and take it all in for a bit first.
I really like the idea of blaming behavior on circumstances that can change. Very much. I am going to remember that.
I agree with trying to make the comments that label children into comments that label behavior, for the same reasons Lydia mentioned. Abbey is not a shy child, but like every kiddo she has moments of being coy or scared of someone/something new, so I have had strangers say "Oh, you're a shy little girl." I just correct them (good-naturedly) and say "Oh no, she's just having a shy moment!" or if she's being particularly wild/loud I'll say she's "just getting out her wiggles and giggles". I think it helps kiddos to know that they can express a wide variety of emotions without having that emotion/behavior stigmatize them.
But, I do use words like mean or whiney or shy, I just label behavior instead of her. There have been plenty of times where she gets mad and hits Daddy and we explain that hitting is mean, and hurts people. I would never tell her that she is mean for hitting him... I don't necessarily think the words are the problem, just how they are used.
I've also noticed that for Abbey's particular personality, it's helpful to tell her that I've felt that way that way too, and that everyone gets mad/sad and it doesn't feel good. She responds to empathy about a million times better than rational explanations.
I also don't like putting labels on kids. I hate, hate, HATE, when people label their kids "bad." My family members unfortunately do this a whole lot. Most of the people I know do this a lot. They usually mean that the child is energetic or mischievous, or just gets into everything, you know, things all kids do. They also say it with a smile as if they are trying to make "bad" a good characteristic or something. People will debate with each other who's kid (mostly boys) is the baddest. It gets on my nerves so bad. People in my family tried to do that with Ky as well. I have shared he was pretty difficult as a toddler but he was nowhere near "bad." And I got into many an argument over people calling him bad and made sure they knew to never say that to him. I do think I labeled him and for me it has stuck. I always called him "my sweet baby boy" and now I just call him "my sweet boy." He doesn't like it, but he is such a gentle soul and is a sweetheart to me and I don't think I will ever give up that label. One of my co-workers thought it strange I refer to him as such as he felt he was too old for such a label, until a family member of his died and left her 12 year old son an orphan and he was so concerned about this boy and I was telling him how sorry I was to hear of his loss and he was going on about this boy and his characteristics and he told me that the 12 year old was a sweet boy too, who didn't deserve to have to be in so much pain from losing his mom and after that he never joked about me calling Ky that anymore.
My DH doesn't have a man space. We have a smaller house. I plan to make sure he has one when we buy a new house and I also would like my own apartment. I saw an advertisement for a house in the neighborhood we want to move to that has a 3bd/2ba house and a 2bd/1ba apartment over the garage and a basement so I am hoping it is still on the market in a few months if we are still here and will be looking to buy a new home.
I like where I live as well. Like what Mandy described, Atlanta is very spread out. There are 5 million people (or more) in our metro area, but the metro are has 40 counties and yards in the farther outskirts of the city and especially in the suburbs are very huge, usually at a minimum of .50 acres more than likely though you will get an acre of land with a home. We also have horrible traffic here. My dad, who used to drive long distance big rigs out west said our traffic is similar to LA traffic but not as bad as Houston, which was horrible when we went out that way years ago. We moved from Cobb County, a metro county 15 miles from downtown Atlanta to our current neighborhood due to the traffic. It used to take us 1.5 hours to drive the 15 miles to work/school everyday each way. We now only live a little over a mile from our work and Elle's daycare is within a mile. Ky's school is our longest drive at about 7 miles away. They are planning on getting into a new building next year about 2 miles a way so that would great for us.
But we are close to everything being that we have such a close proximity to all the bourgeois neighborhoods of the city - Downtown, Buckhead, and Midtown are all within 5 miles from our home and they include all entertainment venues, muesums, any shopping that you could imagine, restaurants and schools. Georgia Tech is down the street from us as is Georgia State University, and the Atlanta University Center which is the largest conglomerate of historically black colleges and universities in the country including Morehouse, Spelman, and Clark Atlanta University, which are some of the most prestigious HBCUs in the country. Atlanta is also home to Emory University, which is considered an Ivy League school and it is around 10 miles from me.
It is strange that we are surrounded by so much prestige even though we live in what many consider one of the worst neighborhoods in the city. Many people do not know about my neighborhood and if they do they only know about it because they came over here to buy drugs or volunteered to do some neighborhood cleanups. Oddly enough, this has been one of my favorite places to live. I know everyone around here and it is one of the oldest neighborhoods in the city, so it has a better layout than most other areas. We have a grid pattern of streets, most of Atlanta is long twisty turny roads and you have to go that way, which is why we have such a horrible traffic problem. There also is not adequate public transportation here but many are hoping to change that in the future. A lot is planned for this area and even for my neighborhood. I worry about my neighbors, most of whom are older people living off of social security, as our area is targeted for gentrification due to our close proximity to the above mentioned communities. They have already taken half of our neighborhood and re-named it "West Midtown" in an effort to gentrify it and West Midtown is becoming a hot destination. So I worry the older residents and young poorer families will be priced out within 10 years.
Erin
Total agree with this, particularly the last paragraph. At work we label a behavior, but not a child, for example "Hitting is mean" instead of "You are mean." Usually we emphasize how the behavior makes the other person feel, "I feel sad when you don't listen" or "I don't like when you hit me" instead of talking about a characteristic of the child.Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbeysMom
Really, Bridget, I do worry about the "Tornado" though. When kids just go through a room dumping all the toys out and moving on to the next thing or the next room without ever playing with anything it sets off alarm bells for me. Is she able to sit and play with a toy, even for a few minutes? Energy is a good thing, but inability to play is a big concern. When kids can't play, they can't learn.
I hate it when people label other kids as shy, especially their own parents. One kid at Josh's school is always kind of hanging around his mom instead of playing with the other kids and she always tells other people he's shy.
Another thing I also hate is when grown ups tell little girls how pretty they look. I mean it's okay to say "I like your shoes" or whatever but there's a mom who tells this other little girl how pretty she looks. Every. Day. Granted, the girl is unusually adorable. :laugh:
I chose nicknames for the kids on my bus specifically so I wouldn't have to use labels like "the troublemaker" "the good kid" etc.
Seen at The Virus Pit today:
One mom on the phone, describing in great detail all the crazy stunts her son pulls, while he is pulling them. He finally went a step too far, jumping from something onto a little girl, grabbed his shoes and took off running, while the mom ambled along, yelling at him to stop and continuing to chat on the phone.
Two boys running in circles, right outside. No parent in sight.
A little girl, maybe five or six, in full make-up! Including eye shadow, blush and lipstick.
Mom yelling at young kid dressed in very impractical clothes about messing them up by playing.
Mom telling son over and over and over not to do X or Y or Z or else... While kid proceeded to do all those with zero consequences.
Most of the kids acted like they've been raised by wolves, maybe been cooped up too long because of the rain. Most of the parents were on top of the kids, thankfully.
Suja, lol. Where the hell were you? The one on the cell, who would stay on the other end for that? How unpleasant.
Mandy, that was a red flag for me too. The only time I saw her remotely focused was when she got to my basket of musical instruments. There are about 12 and she took each one out one by one and shook it for a few shakes and then picked up the next. Then she banged on the drum a few times before moving on. That was the longest she stayed with one thing. I couldn't say anything to her mom, my friend, obviously. I only see her once or twice a year and it would have been inappropriate. She just switched daycare providers so I am hoping that her provider is on the ball.
I realize now that I do often tell people that my kids are shy just to get them to stop trying to make them talk. I am going to be more aware of that and say they just don't feel like talking instead. Kate, I had a friend in high school who never excelled academically and she said she can remember from a really young age everyone telling her how pretty she was and hearing everyone tell her brothers how smart and strong they were and she always wondered why they never told her she was smart. She said that's why she was stupid because she thought she only had to pretty. lol. She was kidding of course. At least she was witty!
I am bad about telling Elle she is pretty, but that is just one thing I will have to do because I do think she is pretty. I was told I was cute almost everyday when I was a girl. I am probably vain now because of it LOL! And it is funny to me that I do remember looking exactly like Elle looks now. So her looks reinforce my self perception of myself as very pretty.
Oddly enough my mom was talking to me today about how it is so uncanny how much Elle looks like I used to look. Most people say she looks like DH except my mom and dad who are just thrilled she is a mini-me because I was such a ham and such a fun child. She is the same too, it is pretty scary to think of it.
Erin
Erin, Elle is adorable!
I did go to see the Hunger Games with my mom this afternoon. She can drive in the day, so that eliminated our transportation woes. She really is having a hard time with her cataracts, though. When we got in the darkened theatre, she couldn't see where she was going, or even where the seats were. I had to take her by the hand and lead her. I really hope they hurry up and operate - she said the doctor keeps telling her it "isn't bad enough" for Medicaid to pay for the surgery. I would think if you can't drive safely after dark, can't go anywhere independently, and can't find your way through a darkened room, it's bad. Just ridiculous, the hoops they make people jump through.
She really liked the movie, though. Some woman at her church told her it was a horrible, brutal movie and she shouldn't see it (which I think made her more determined to watch it with me). After it was over, she said "I think I'm going to have to read that book. I thought it would be about degradation, but it was about hope!" I really do :wub: my mom. I'd love to know what she says to her friend from church about it.