Secular Confessions

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

Oh goodness about your aunt leaving you piles of stuff!! :laugh: Like that would help! How long would your dh have to be away from you? Would you be moving to Chicago after the school year?

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If he makes it into the academy he will be gone for 8 weeks starting at the end of March. School usually lets out here the Friday before Memorial Day so he would be gone a couple months and I'd be by myself. If he makes it through the academy we would move there around June. His uncle owns some nice houses in Chicago that he rents so we are hoping that he will have one available so we won't have to buy a house immediately.

Even though I really don't want to move to Chicago, I am trying to look on the bright side in regards to being close to family. But really I even think about that and am not all excited about it, like my mom and MIL. I guess because I have been away from them so long, since I was 18 except for the 1.5 years I moved back to Ohio when DH was working my nerves and my grandma was ill with cancer. I don't know if I can stand to be around them a lot though. Horrible I know but really I don't. I feel we may have a worse relationship, especially with my MIL whom I love but who is very controlling and critical (where DH gets these traits). Hopefully though if we do move it will be a good experience. I even found a school that I may send Ky to called of all things Namaste (like in yoga!). They seem similar to his current school with everyday recess and PE and healthy meals, a more holistic school. But of course there is no guarantee that he will get in and I worry about this because I am not going to send him to a crappy school. He doesn't like for me to homeschool him (I'm harder than school LOL!). He likes to be around a lot of kids and act goofy on a regular basis like most boys his age so I am hoping to find some alternative schools and be able to depend on DH to get all the documents submitted in a timely fashion in case we have to move. That part worries me the most, depending on DH to do all of the paperwork. He is so clueless about filling out papers even if they are about himself, let alone anything regarding me or the children.

Erin

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

Just remember this is the state of the economy. It's not you abusing the system at all. You two are doing everything you can to get away from it, and it will happen....but man, it does feel like it takes forever and it's amazing how many road blocks will creep up on you.

I never admitted it here, but we'd been off services from 1996 and I had to get food stamps for a while when I was pregnant with Conner (2006). I was going to school and found myself temporarily without a part time job. It really sucked and I started to feel like a total failure. Pregnancy hormones probably didn't help...but just remember, that's what those services are there for. They're to help people like us bridge the gap when we're clawing our way out of the depths of financial hell.

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You don't know how much you ladies are helping me right now, sometimes its hard to see the 'big' picture :hugs:

And man on man "depths of financial hell" is right :headbang:

So... anybody else want to have some drinks with me this weekend?? Make a trip to the bright sunny Fl :P

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Originally Posted by AmeriBrit

I'm sorry you've fallen on hard times, Christina. I hope your husband gets his job back asap. This is the first year that we are a one income family due to me trying to get back on to a teacher training course and I hate how much it's affected our finances.

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Thank you so much :hugs: Living off one income is SO hard!!

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Originally Posted by Smplyme89

So... anybody else want to have some drinks with me this weekend?? Make a trip to the bright sunny Fl :P

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Do you have skype? :laugh:

I've got some strawberry flavored pear cider that I'll be hitting up this weekend. Actually, once the kids are in bed (in 4 hours), I'll be putting my feet up with my cider and take out pizza. Mmm!

You're so ahead of the times. :P

Just wanted to drop a quick line. Got here safe and sound. First leg was awful. Second leg was wonderful. So much so that I was starting to think that some alien got my kid outta there and replaced her with a charming little replica. ILs seem to think she can do nothing wrong, and she is spending pretty much all her time outdoors, playing with/in water. Heck, she wakes up at 3 in the morning and pitches fits about 'play water'. DH and his family totally bend over backwards to accommodate her every little whim, so I'm going to have a pretty decent sized monster on my hands by the time we return. On Sunday, I get to go to a wedding, and then go spend some time with my parents, grandma and a bunch of extended family that I absolutely adore. YAY!

Christina, I'm sorry to see about DH's job loss. I hope things turn around quickly for you guys.

Jet lag is still kicking my butt, so I'm going to finish up some work and then turn in for the night. I'll try and check in from time to time.

Wow been busy in here!

Umm, dang some of you are smart about grammer! I consider myself to be a pretty bright, educated woman but my grammer sucks. I was in mostly honors English classes (a few years I wasn't because the timing was off and I couldn't skip orchestra or French)....and yet I learned the most about grammer in French class. I really don't care about writing which is why I opted for library science over a PhD in philosophy. Thank god I had DH in college to proof my papers before turning them in.....drove him crazy though because I tend to write like I talk. Ugg, at my recent review my boss thought it would something to think about for me....writing a paper and getting it published. I don't have any great ideas and I just don't want to. I agreed to think about it though.

I am famous for mixing up music lyrics. Like this one Metallica song goes New Blood joins this earth and for a while I thought it was Neuba joins the herd. DH doens't let me live that one down! LOL

Erin, I am a cougher choker person that turns into bronchitis and I can't sleep at night....which is just miserable. The body can't heal without enough sleep. What works better for me than any inhaler I have tried (I have asthma that is mostly a cough mostly after I have had a cold now)....is some brandy. I have also heard whiskey works well too but I like brandy so use that. Something about it warms up the throat and relaxes it so it's not spazzing so much. Allows me to finally get some sleep.
Is there a way you could apply for the school long distance or start now for in case you move to Chicago?

Chrissy, if money is a huge concern I can see your point. But if it's not a huge concern and would just be nice to have more, I can sort of agree with Rich. I wouldn't ask Tony to leave a job where he likes the work and likes the people just to make more money. He doesn't like change and if he's happy, that is more important than money.

Christina big :hugs: to you. I know too how hard this is. It sucks and is so unfair. And don't worry about the state....we know and you know that you aren't taking advantage or being some slacker loser....you are using it for what it was meant for. Families/people who need it to get through a situation.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

Do you have skype? :laugh:

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Were not that tech savy around these parts :P

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Originally Posted by AmeriBrit

I've got some strawberry flavored pear cider that I'll be hitting up this weekend. Actually, once the kids are in bed (in 4 hours), I'll be putting my feet up with my cider and take out pizza. Mmm!

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Oh I am SO jealous!!! :cabbage:

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Originally Posted by Suja

Christina, I'm sorry to see about DH's job loss. I hope things turn around quickly for you guys.

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Thanks mama :hugs: I am SO glad she is having a good time!! :wub:

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Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

Christina big :hugs: to you. I know too how hard this is. It sucks and is so unfair. And don't worry about the state....we know and you know that you aren't taking advantage or being some slacker loser....you are using it for what it was meant for. Families/people who need it to get through a situation.

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Thanks Jennifer. I'm always afraid thats how people are going to view us. It feels like everytime we turn around we are back on it, no matter how hard we try :( It's not like we live a luxurious lifestyle, we are very low key people for the most part.... Life sucks sometimes.

Jen you are making the liquor call me!! DH thinks I'm nuts because I rarely drink but when I do I usually drink hard liquor like brandy and rum or vodka. I may just go and get some brandy this weekend.

And yes we can apply for school before we move there we just have to prove residency by May 31st, which isn't an issue since DH is going to go change his address to his mom's and she can just sign a notarized letter stating that he is living with her. He will actually be living with her BTW while he is there by himself. But to get into any school now-a-days you have to fill out a ton of paperwork and fulfill quite a few requirements, especially children coming into a school district for the first time. Also pretty much all the good schools in Chicago are lottery schools (which every single one I looked into that I like is) and they require an application, some testing, and of course medical stuff and I just do not have confidence that DH can get it done when it needs to be done and follow up. Luckily our current school uses the ITBS test (Iowa Test of Basic Standards) and that is one of only a few that CPS accepts for the lottery schools so I can just request our school send his scores there myself.

Erin

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Originally Posted by daylilies

I think it's kind of discouraging the meds take so long to work. She wants to see me in 6 weeks to see how I'm doing and I also see my therapist every 2-3 weeks. But my therapist says they can take up to a year to really stick.

I didn't give meds a fair chance last time I tried them so I feel like I'm starting over.

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I'm a little late in replying to this, so sorry. Maybe you could try to consider the part of you that wants instant relief from the meds to be something that the meds will treat. You've obviously got discomfort you want to address and I think that's what is making you want them to work right away. Seeing your progress as a process that takes time could be a goal of your treatment. It gets so chicken and egg when it comes to wanting to change our feelings, when all the while we have feelings about wanting to change them.

*Hugs*. Maybe if you can read something in the meantime - some sort of self-help guide with exercises, it will give you something tangible to work on while the meds start to take their effect. I can suggest some of my favorite books that were really influential on me and helped me to think more positively and in a more empowered way. I really liked The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, and The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I'm sure there are countless others out there, but those are the ones I personally got something out of.

I think the meds are at their most helpful when combined with a conscious effort to change your inner dialogue. Y'know, wanting to be a happier person and sort of taking possession of the means to make yourself happy. The meds can kind of take the edge off while you do the self-work - kind of a one-two punch.

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Ooooh, I'm in a coffee shop right now and Pink Moon by Nick Drake is playing right now. God, I love this song.

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:( I lost my temper with Bodhi this morning. Things were going so well until he had to poop while I was trying to get him to brush his teeth so I could get him out the door so I could get him to his school and I could take a meeting in time. I realize if I'd just let him have 5 minutes to poop alone, and then taken another 5 minutes to change him, the whole tantrum wouldn't have happened. Having to poop is so stressful to him. And it's so hard when you're on a schedule! I apologized after getting that mad at him, and he forgave me, kissed my nose, said "we're friends", but I still feel so disappointed in myself for getting mad, especially since I'd just gotten some good advice from you all about it. I thought I was a bigger person than I feel like I'm turning out. I found this article online that helped put the anger management thing in perspective: http://www.empoweringparents.com/How...r-Buttons.php#

Just poking my head in here for a minute to say that I think it would be a good idea if we ever post anything else in secular besides in this thread to probably give it a shout out, for those who just check this thread only, lest it get ignored completely.

Good idea, L.

Myles, thanks for the words of support.

I totally know what you mean about losing your patience especially when it comes to using the bathroom. You're glad they do it but they always pick the worst time. :laugh:

I'm going to read the article you've posted, Myles. I've had a hard week with Travis and have never shouted so much in my life. I, too, feel so disappointed in myself. I am not a shouter. Not usually! I usually have so much patience, but Travis has just been so mean lately to Cash. He snatches things out of his hands, gets up in his face and shouts at him and just generally is not that nice to him a lot of times. I suppose I expect too much out of him some times, but yeah, it was a bad week for my temper. We had a brilliant day today, though, so hopefully, we'll keep the momentum going!

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Originally Posted by 3andMe

Just poking my head in here for a minute to say that I think it would be a good idea if we ever post anything else in secular besides in this thread to probably give it a shout out, for those who just check this thread only, lest it get ignored completely.

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You are right L! Now to think of something to start a new post about :chinscratch:

Oh, definitely a good idea, L. I nearly posted an article the other day and then just couldn't be bothered.

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Originally Posted by 3andMe

Just poking my head in here for a minute to say that I think it would be a good idea if we ever post anything else in secular besides in this thread to probably give it a shout out, for those who just check this thread only, lest it get ignored completely.

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That is a good idea, L. If I post "out there", it's usually 'cause I want to know what you ladies think of it "in here".

I have to say that I do not know that I have ever loved my husband as much as I do at this moment, having just found him scrubbing out the toilet with rubber gloves and a sponge. This is true :wub:

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Originally Posted by Gwenn

I have to say that I do not know that I have ever loved my husband as much as I do at this moment, having just found him scrubbing out the toilet with rubber gloves and a sponge. This is true :wub:

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He sounds like a keeper, Mandy.

Meant to ask you something. One of DH's cousin's kids has started stammering recently - he's four. It's really quite bad, and it's extremely difficult for him to get anything resembling a coherent thought out. Is there anything they can do at home to help? How should the people listening respond? There is nothing along the lines of a SLP available around here. Don't know how relevant it is, but his grandfather had the same problem, as did an aunt (she somehow fixed it herself) and an uncle.

:hugs: Myles. I lost my temper tonight too...on Sydney no less. And over whether or not I'd pick up a friend to go to their friend's funeral. :cry: oh god do I suck. I just wasn't thinking and I snapped at her when she asked if I could pick so-and-so up on Monday, and I didn't even recall what we were doing Monday. My poor girl. :( I can say I'm sorry and try to explain that I'm under a lot of stress and simply reacted without being aware of what I was saying, but she's going to remember that for life. Stuff like that sticks.

On a happy note (?) I was able to go to my room and have an all-out cry for at least 30 minutes, complete with sobbing and hiccups. I'm not sure I feel better though.

Oh hugs. :(

:hugs: Chrissy!

:hugs: Chrissy!

Big squishy hugs Chrissy :hugs::hugs:

Erin

I was actually just about to start another thread in here. I was going to do it in Random but heh, I come here more often and it was my first stop. So I can ask you ladies to watch a video that Ky's robotics team uploaded to youtube. It is the skit that they are going to do tomorrow for the competition and we get extra points for sharing the data so we figured we'd put it on youtube.

Take a glance if you don't mind. Plus it is really cute!!

Erin

I've already watched it! You're right-it is cute! I think you should post in Random too, just to get more traffic.

Does it make a different if it's watched within Facebook? I became worried that that 'watch' wouldn't be counted, so I went directly to the Youtube page to play it.

Oh, Chrissy. I'm glad you had your cry, at least.

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Originally Posted by Suja

He sounds like a keeper, Mandy.

Meant to ask you something. One of DH's cousin's kids has started stammering recently - he's four. It's really quite bad, and it's extremely difficult for him to get anything resembling a coherent thought out. Is there anything they can do at home to help? How should the people listening respond? There is nothing along the lines of a SLP available around here. Don't know how relevant it is, but his grandfather had the same problem, as did an aunt (she somehow fixed it herself) and an uncle.

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Actually the best possible treatment IMO is parent administered. There are many SLPs who would disagree strongly with me, but I could go on for days about why I disagree. I very much suggest you look atmthis program:
Program explanation
Download the how-to manual

Second piece of advice is to stay away from google and be rigorous about evidence-based sources. The program linked above is essentially the only evidence based tx for preschoolers. There is no subject in my field where you are more likely to find misleading or outright false information on the Internet. I did a thesis in this area, so I'm happy to provide detail when I'm not only iPad should you want.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

I've already watched it! You're right-it is cute! I think you should post in Random too, just to get more traffic.

Does it make a different if it's watched within Facebook? I became worried that that 'watch' wouldn't be counted, so I went directly to the Youtube page to play it.

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The coach told us to post it to FB so I'm hoping that it will be counted. I'll cross post in Random too.

Erin

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Originally Posted by demigraf

*Hugs*. Maybe if you can read something in the meantime - some sort of self-help guide with exercises, it will give you something tangible to work on while the meds start to take their effect. I can suggest some of my favorite books that were really influential on me and helped me to think more positively and in a more empowered way. I really liked The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, and The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I'm sure there are countless others out there, but those are the ones I personally got something out of.

I think the meds are at their most helpful when combined with a conscious effort to change your inner dialogue. Y'know, wanting to be a happier person and sort of taking possession of the means to make yourself happy. The meds can kind of take the edge off while you do the self-work - kind of a one-two punch.

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Ooooh, I'm in a coffee shop right now and Pink Moon by Nick Drake is playing right now. God, I love this song.

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:( I lost my temper with Bodhi this morning. Things were going so well until he had to poop while I was trying to get him to brush his teeth so I could get him out the door so I could get him to his school and I could take a meeting in time. I realize if I'd just let him have 5 minutes to poop alone, and then taken another 5 minutes to change him, the whole tantrum wouldn't have happened. Having to poop is so stressful to him. And it's so hard when you're on a schedule! I apologized after getting that mad at him, and he forgave me, kissed my nose, said "we're friends", but I still feel so disappointed in myself for getting mad, especially since I'd just gotten some good advice from you all about it. I thought I was a bigger person than I feel like I'm turning out. I found this article online that helped put the anger management thing in perspective: http://www.empoweringparents.com/How...r-Buttons.php#

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I found the Four Agreements to be pretty helpful, especially when dealing with situations/people who were making me unhappy that I couldn't change. Need to go back an read again.

I love Nick Drake.

And I need to bookmark that - I know exactly how you felt afterwards. Hate when I lose my temper instead of just slowing down for a minute to toddler speed.

Big hugs, Chrissy. Glad you got to cry. Hope it helped relieve a little bit of the pressure.

Suja! Glad you arrived - sounds like it is going to be a wonderful trip.

L - I agree that I would be worried about your dad with the kids.

Erin - you deserve some help around the house, especially if you are sick. I hope you get better soon.

smplyme - I'm sorry. I hope you all can recover from the setback quickly.

Ash - I can't believe how much you iron! :laugh:

I start the first day of my 15 day run of art shows tomorrow. First two day show this weekend from 10 to 5 each day, then load back into the car directly from the show to load in the next day for the 11 day show that starts on Wednesday. Set up on Monday and Tuesday, then every day from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. until Christmas eve then load out at midnight on Christmas Eve. won't get to bed until 3 am probably. Thank goodness I have scheduled a lot of help so I don't have to be there every single day all day long...

Wish me luck! Last year was awful, with DH being in the hospital with a kidney hematoma for five days and then I got strep the very first day and my poor mom, brother and dh had to cover all my shifts for five days while I was laid up. By the time I got back I just didn't care at all. Just barely broke even. I hope this year to do better and actually make a little money...

Good luck Katy!! I'm sure it will be exhausting, yet rewarding at the same time. I'm so proud of you!!!