Secular Confessions

Very sad, Bridget. Are you going to call your aunt?

DD came out last night before she fell asleep and with a little smile, told me she had a nightmare. I told her she wasn't having a nightmare because she wasn't asleep. She stroked the fleece on my arm for a minute, and said she was just thinking about salami. I half-laughed and said, "Well, I don't think that should scare you off sleeping. Now go back to bed." Later on, emailing back and forth to mom about the earthquakes, she asked me if she'd been possibly thinking about tsunamis. Of course! DUH! I felt like such an oblivimom. She hasn't ever been able to pronounce tsunamis well unless she really tries, and usually calls them salamis. She made the connection on her own about the earthquakes possibly resulting in tsunamis.

At dinner, we were talking about the earthquake (they felt the earlier one at school) and they asked if there could ever be a really big one that could topple buildings. This coincidentally happened on the day they did a fire drill and practiced going outside after hearing an alarm. I told them yes, and DD's face crumpled and she started crying. We live right over the Hayward Fault, which is predicted to have a big quake within the next 30 years (+/- a few hundred years?), although of course those aren't totally accurate. DS jumped right out of his chair and hugged her and told her that wasn't so, which I found totally endearing but inaccurate. I told them that I couldn't promise that bad things would never happen, but we try to be prepared for all possibilities. Like for an earthquake, we have boxes of food in the storage shed and extra water. We have earthquake insurance. We have flashlights and radios that operate on batteries. It might not be as comfortable as our normal life, but we would be able to eat and drink and survive. Dh added, "It could be like camping!" DD wailed, "But what about milk?" I told them about the special powdered milk. She was fine after that, until the tsunami/salami fear that I totally blew off. Oops.

I remember being happy as a child, or at least not unhappy - I just thought it would be good to make a wish to be happy because that would cover anything. It wouldn't matter if I wanted money, because if I wanted to buy something specific to make me happy but it didn't make me happy, then it was pointless to have the money. Better to just wish to be happy. Same with something about my appearance or a new dress or a friend or a pony, you know?

Have fun at your evening out tonight, Chrissy.

DH and I are both really tired, today. Baby DS cried a lot last night. I think he's getting sick.

DD just woke up and I apologized to her for misunderstanding about the tsunami fears. She didn't even care now. She's all full of her dreams about a friendly spider.

I hate those moments L. It sounds like she was totally ok though, and I know it will bother you more than her. I'm sure if she remembers this at all, it will be how thoughtful you were the next morning. Kids really are resilient and as long as the majority of their experiences are positive, they really will turn out ok. Or at least without the baggage that leaves adults crying on Oprah about their childhood.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

This is kinda new for me Christina. I spent my entire 20's never setting foot inside a bar

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I never drank until I was in my 30s. I am extremely sensitive to tart tastes, so most drinks (especially stuff like beer), I just cannot drink. Now, I drink on occasion - something extremely sweet, like a White Russian. BUT. I never get drunk. My friends would love to see me that way, but they know that I'm far too much of a control freak to go there.

Also, I LOVE alcohol in my food. Specifically, rum. When I don't feel like eating regular bananas, I split the in half, sautee in a little butter, douse with rum and set on fire. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

I love that your so open and honest with your kids L. I think you handled it beautifully :)

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Originally Posted by Smplyme89

Awww come on I'm 22, somebody has to party for me! My wild night out is BINGO with my mom and aunt! Work with me here :laugh:

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Oh, I do have my nights. :winks: It's just not gonna happen this weekend.

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Originally Posted by 3andMe

SUJA! I got all the ingredients to make your butter chicken, either tomorrow night or the next night. DH is so excited. He has volunteered to stop and get any exotic Indian spices I might be lacking. I told him I had everything. He said "Are you sure? Those dishes require a lot of spices, and I bet you don't have everything." I told him I got saffron (ouch!) and fennel seeds at the store today, and I already had everything else. He raised an eyebrow in doubt, but I guess he has hasn't browsed my spice cupboard lately since I had to install the lights in there so I could see everything I had.

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Saffron is always such a splurge. The good news is that you don't need more than a few strands, so your stash will last until you're 80! Just store it properly. BTW, I saw saffron at costco yesterday. I don't remember how much, but it cost something like $15.

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DD told me that DS promised to go to a toy store and buy her a princess doll. I said, "Oh, that was very sweet of you, but how are you going to do that? What money are you going to use?" He said he was going to use Daddy's money.

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I miss using daddy's money to buy stuff.

Back at work and they did do a fine needle aspiration...and it looked fatty. so probably just a fatty lipoma which is what I was hoping for. Once it dries, they will smear it or whatever and look under the microscope to be sure the cells are ok looking.
He said my baby is 51 yrs old and soon they will start the senior blood draws vs the adult ones. I said her, baby you're older than your momma! She just smiled and wagged her tail at me....at that point she knew we were leaving and was happier again.

I'm glad it's looking good Jennifer!

Good afternoon!!

I stayed home all day yesterday and got a nice quiet day alone to myself. I didn't even clean up or watch TV, just sat in silence. I thought about how if someone were watching me on reality TV they would think I was depressed or something LOL. But really I was just enjoying the silence. I like quietness.

L that is such a testament to you and your DHs parenting that your children's happiness is displayed for the world to see. My mom works for a Head Start daycare facility currently and she has told me the same thing, she can see the happiness on some of her kids faces, not on all of them though. She usually is given the more troubled kids because she is good at dealing with children who have special needs or who are or have recently been in foster care and have behavioral issues. She has a couple kids though who she says just exude happiness. I can tell that from the pics of your kids too. I love your siggy. It looks like they are so happy they could just fly away! So cute!

Wanted to chime in about butts (okay, that sounds weird, but anyway...) when I was a girl I used to call the end of food items the "bridge." So the end and beginning of the bread were called the "bread bridges." I remember thinking how neat it was to eat bridges of bread. When I was around 5 a kid on block told me that they were not bridges they were "butts." It ruined the end of bread for me. I refused to eat them anymore because I didn't want to eat a "butt." I called them butts as well until recently. I have noticed how similar Elle is to me as a child, it is really freaky actually how similar she is. I can see her inner mind working like mine used to do so I don't want to ruin the bridge of the bread for her. I went back to calling them bridges so she will eat them. She doesn't like any sort of nasty connotation to anything, the same way I was at her age. I remember thinking crazy things like that even at 3 and 4 years old. Someone also told me around that time that rice was dead maggots. I didn't believe them but I didn't eat rice again until after DH and I started shacking up since he loves rice and encouraged me to eat it.

Our daycare lady commented to me yesterday how happy Elle seemed as well. She also said that I "must work a lot with her" because she is so smart. I really don't. I told her we just talk and read a lot. I talk to her about a lot of things you don't see many adults speaking to their 3 year olds about. I am a lecturer like you L! But she likes me to talk to her so we have lots of conversations about complicated issues and maybe that is why our provider thinks I work with her a lot. I just really enjoy her like I also enjoy Ky. I love toddlers though, even when Ky was 3 and even though he was much more difficult than Elle, I just used to love talking to him because they are so pure and innocent and just plain smart IMO. Nothing has messed them up yet so I just enjoy that while I can and let them be most of the time. Maybe that is why Elle seems happy, I don't know.

Erin

I love silence too, Erin. Some days I just love to have nothing on, no podcasts or TV or anything. Just silence.

Glad that Cosmo is okay and I hope the cyst is nothing major.

I hope JoJo is a happy kid. I don't lecture her enough though :laugh: I used to wish the same thing for myself, L - it covered everything.

I'm another one that loves silence. I especially love it when I'm in the car. Or on the bus. Unfortunately there's this woman with a voice that carries on my bus and she cannot have a thought kept in her head. She has to vocalize each.and.every thought she has between Ithaca and Owego. Some days I just wanna smack her.

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Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

Back at work and they did do a fine needle aspiration...and it looked fatty. so probably just a fatty lipoma which is what I was hoping for. Once it dries, they will smear it or whatever and look under the microscope to be sure the cells are ok looking.
He said my baby is 51 yrs old and soon they will start the senior blood draws vs the adult ones. I said her, baby you're older than your momma! She just smiled and wagged her tail at me....at that point she knew we were leaving and was happier again.

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YAY for fatty lumps! Hopefully, cytology will reveal nothing but goodness.

I hate finding lumps, and with two senior dogs, it's harder still because then you've got to go through figuring out if it is worthwhile putting them through the de-lumpification process. My old man dawg has had two surgeries for a hemangiopericytoma, and it looks like the stupid thing is growing again. Unfortunately, it is in a place where removal = thoracotomy, and well, at 12 1/2 years old, we just won't put him through that for our selfish reasons (he's the best dog in the known universe).

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

I'm another one that loves silence. I especially love it when I'm in the car. Or on the bus. Unfortunately there's this woman with a voice that carries on my bus and she cannot have a thought kept in her head. She has to vocalize each.and.every thought she has between Ithaca and Owego. Some days I just wanna smack her.

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DO it!:laugh:

Yeah, I enjoy silence. And sleep. I miss both a lot.

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Originally Posted by Suja

DO it!:laugh:

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:laugh: I'd get kicked off the bus! And I love riding the bus. I don't have to drive, I can read or just stare out the window.

I just wish she'd learn to use her indoor voice. Or whisper, if that is her indoor voice. It's not just a voice that carries, but it has an annoying tone as well. I'm not the only one that thinks so either...one day she was taking her time going down the steps and saying goodbye to the driver and there was a series of groans and one woman next to me muttered, "Jesus Christ just shut up already!"

I love silence too. I didn't appreciate it enough when I had opportunities for it pre-kids. Now I often drive with the radio off. I also love to sit in the quiet house after the kids go to bed but dbf has to turn the tv on the second they fall asleep like the forbidden fruit. Half the time there isn't even anything good to watch.

Loud talkers bug me. I feel like they are arrogant enough to think that everyone cares about what they have to say.

Chrissy & Ash, have fun today with your outings! As for me, I'm having an APA meetup with a momma friend on here, Marcie, who's in town with her hubby. We're just meeting up for coffee on this little lane near my office that has a lot of outdoor seating and an international vibe. I'm excited to finally meet in person after years of knowing each other. Then this evening, we are seeing Roger Daltrey perform Tommy. It was my b'day present to my DH. We both revere The Who, but Tommy isn't our favorite album. Pete Townsend's brother is doing lead guitar, and Ringo Starr's son will be playing the drums. When only Roger & Pete were on tour as The Who, DH started referring to them as The Two.

Jennifer, I'm glad to hear Cosmo is ok. It's so worrisome when you see something like that growing on your fur baby. I hope all the tests reveal that it's nothing but a fatty tumor.

L, that must have felt amazing to be told that about the twins by their teacher. :D I didn't figure out all that stuff about caring about my own happiness until I was nearly 20. Before then, I invited so much drama into my life because, basically, I was sheltered and bored, AND I had a mentally ill sister for a role model. A part of me always intuitively understood the whole Buddhist Eightfold Path model which is essentially my recipe for happiness these days, but I was never able to truly internalize it until I broke away from my parents, my sister, and really started to own my own environment, if that makes any sense.

Saffron. I have a story about it. When I was traveling in Kashmir, I met this British girl named Jo who was staying on a nearby houseboat. One day, we took a taxi to buy the spice in a town where there was a well-reputed spice merchant who supposedly sold high-quality saffron. (Still have pictures of the merchant. Graffiti behind him on the wall says "Owner is God".) The Jammu/Kashmir Liberation Front movement was very active nearby at that time, and there had been reports of 2 British boys who'd been kidnapped and taken trekking up in the beautiful mountains for 2 weeks by their captors. When they were finally released they said they were treated like princes and given all these gifts. So we were stupid teenagers and half jokingly wished someone would jump out from behind a tree and take us hostage. No such thing occurred, but 6 weeks later, I read a report in the news about an American photographer I'd met while up there, who'd been kidnapped by an insurgent - not sure from what group - and shot execution style. So that just goes to show the way a young mind can work foolishly. I can't tell you how many other times I put myself in Dodgeville like that on my travels. (even as recently as 2005, story for another day).

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Originally Posted by Suja

Yeah, I enjoy silence. And sleep. I miss both a lot.

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:clap:

I too will often drive without the radio Bridget. I like to read on my bus, but sometimes I wish I could ride on it and look out the window without my headphones on. :pokey:

I can get forgetful sometimes and my voice does carry, but it's not because I think everyone wants to hear what I have to say. I simply get passionate about whatever story I'm telling and then I'll suddenly realize I'm talking too loud. This woman, though...she's of the arrogant sort. She's interested in everything and thinks everyone else is as well, and what her thoughts are on whatever she's observing at that second. I remember her querying last week, "I wonder why that farmer did that with the corn? That's very strange. Would it make more sense if he..." She really does talk about everything as we pass by. If she doesn't get it on Monday, there's the rest of the week. And sadly, she's not one to drive in on Fridays like a lot of people do.

Myles-I love your stories, but some scare the heck out of me. I too brought in a lot of drama into my life in my teen/early 20's. My defense is after having a super bipolar, sometimes psychotic, mother...normal felt empty somehow. It took a long time for be to get to where I could be happy with calm.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

I just wish she'd learn to use her indoor voice. Or whisper, if that is her indoor voice. It's not just a voice that carries, but it has an annoying tone as well. I'm not the only one that thinks so either...one day she was taking her time going down the steps and saying goodbye to the driver and there was a series of groans and one woman next to me muttered, "Jesus Christ just shut up already!"

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She sounds like one of the hair stylists from the salon where I go. I went there the first time to check out the place and make an appointment. They asked if I had any preference in hair stylists, and I basically said 'Not her'. Not only did she talk in a voice loud enough everyone could hear her, she also talked incessantly. And about absolutely nothing of consequence. The lady I ended up with told me that she does that all. day. long. With clients and with them. So, I go when she's not there, and thankfully, my hair stylist talks as much or as little as I'm in the mood for that day.

I noticed a couple months ago that i drive with the radio on most of the time now! I never used to do that, could not stand there to be no noise. Now its a whole different story. Those 10-15mins going home/driving to pick N up from daycare are the most relaxing part of my day! :crazy:

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Originally Posted by Suja

my hair stylist talks as much or as little as I'm in the mood for that day.

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That's awesome! That's another time when I prefer quiet...when I'm getting my hair did. I don't like chatter with my beautician. I hope none have ever been offended.

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Originally Posted by Smplyme89

I noticed a couple months ago that i drive with the radio on most of the time now! I never used to do that, could not stand there to be no noise. Now its a whole different story. Those 10-15mins going home/driving to pick N up from daycare are the most relaxing part of my day! :crazy:

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I listen to the local NPR affiliate in the car. That's the only time I get to listen without interruptions, and they have such interesting programming. This area seems to have more than our fair share of idiot drivers (left turn on red, stopping in the middle of traffic for no apparent reason, merging two lanes at a time without a signal on, hurtling down the beltway going 65 while turned around and feeding baby in the back seat... I could go on and on), and if I didn't focus on something else, you'd probably see me in the local news. And not for anything good.

Oh we have some crazys here too Suja! Although I don't think I've ever seen someone going 65 and feeding the baby in the back seat :shocker: I mean seriously are you trying to kill you AND your baby :pokey:

It's almost snow bird season and I foresee more ambulances and wrecks in the near future. Every year during this time we all get on pins and needles when were on the road.

I was talking to another woman at my bus stop this morning about hoping to spend at least 6 months of the year in AZ when I retire and she said she wanted to be a snow bird too, but to Florida. :P Snow bird isn't a common phrase around here, so it's funny (to me) that I've witnessed it twice in one day.

On a related note, after I went back to work following almost 2 yrs as a SAHM, being able to listen to NPR on the radio was a really big indicator for me that I was returning to my "normal old self", for better or worse.

More banana-talk: I heard the neatest interview on NPR last month on All Things Considered with the author of a book about the history of bananas. It was seriously riveting. The common table banana we eat today is on the verge of being wiped out. And our common table banana is a replacement for another superior variety that got wiped out a century or so ago. And the history of how the banana became the top fruit in the US, beating out apples, was painful and fascinating. If I find a link to the interview, I'll post it.

Bridget, :comfort: about your cousin. I hope your aunt makes it thru today having found some sort of peace.

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Originally Posted by Suja

(he's the best dog in the known universe).

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Um, I have to disagree. I think Cosmo is the best dog in the known universe. :P

I HATE the getting older. I told her to stop it when she was 5 but she refuses to listen to me. I have had other dogs growing up but man there is just something very special about this girl. It's not just that she is so incredibly smart and sweet and has a sense of humor....but there is this connection there from the first moment I held her (she was not the one we thought we were going to get from pictures but when I held her, she was the only one I wanted).

I'm not surprised bananas beat apples. They taste better. Not happy to hear they're near being wiped out. Are they trying to prevent that?

Chrissy that is funny! :laugh: We dread the snow birds here. Zephyrhills is like Snow Bird Capital! (not really, but it feels it) I wish they would stop coming back :pokey:

The driver of one of my shuttles at work cannot stop talking. At 6 AM, it's the last thing I have patience for. The standard protocol is to give a cheery "thank-you" as we hop off, and I can barely do it because he makes my ride so miserable. He plays AM radio (which I don't mind) but he makes very loud comments on all the stories and demands feedback from his riders. IE, "That police officer was obviously out of his mind, AMIRITE?!?"

My oldest cat has a lot of fatty lumps under his skin. I've stopped actually getting them examined, and will only take him in if one really grows rapidly. Some people and animals are just prone to lipomas. I'm glad it was harmless.

Oh goodness L. That's just as bad!