Abbey is just precious!!!!! So cute!
And I have never heard of a ballet class like that. I want to put Elle in a dance class but just didn't have time to this fall. I will more than likely put her in the winter class though as it is free at our local performing arts center. A friend of mine has a son who takes the class as well and he is looking forward to Elle being in the class with him. They are good little friends and fortunately no one says anything homophobic about the boys in the class and we live in the hood and I will say that in black communities there is a lot of homophobic talk and craziness and really I would expect to hear it and would probably be hesitant in putting my boy in a class for fear that an adult (not a kid) would say something demeaning to him for him loving to move and dance. But the class at the art center is probably 35-40% boys and little E, my friend's son has taken the class for 2 years now and loves it, he's 4.
I met my DH at work. We have a boring story and not really even a love story. I get kind of jealous sometimes regarding love stories of couples because we don't really have any romance or anything like that. Really, I'm not into all that though and I was always resistant to romance. I saw it as a way for a guy to try to get in my pants and I was the type of young lady that if you were going to get it my pants it was going to be because I was horny and wanted you, not because you think I owed you something for saying something nice to me or bought me a gift. I sometimes think I was too, I guess, feminist minded for my own good because now I wish I did have a little romance but DH is really not all that romantic, which is okay since I know he loves me and he does a lot for me and like he says, he wouldn't have worked three jobs and taken care of me financially if he didn't love me cause he can get some !@##^ from another woman without a lot of effort LOL! That is his way of being romantic.
But I love love stories and remnants that make me say "awww" and your story was so sweet Ash!
Originally Posted by Bridget
That is soooo cute!!
It reminds me of Ky and his intense focus on super powers. He used to always try to figure out his super power. To this day he attempts to move things with his mind and will say "Mommy, watch me bend this fork with my mind" and he will close one eye and have one open really wide and move his head around LOL! He looks pretty ridiculous and it is pretty funny!
He is also always asking everyone he meets what they would like to be their superpower. Mine is the ability to read minds and he frequently tells people my desired superpower because I am one of the only people who didn't want super human strength or the ability to fly and he thinks mind reading is pretty cool.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that doesn't care for Texas! I grew up there and it really became such a shock once I moved away because all of the things I grew up thinking were okay...weren't. Everyone thought I was racist :( I'm really glad I don't live there anymore and I've been able to figure a lot of things out about society and what's wrong and what's not.
Molly, oooh, if I'd been in your shoes, that ballet school would already have the most scathing Yelp review online. That crap they were having the kids do, hooting like "Indians" was incredibly culturally insensitive and just plain dense. I honestly don't think that would happen out here, one point scored for political correctness. Do you think you'll mention your Native American heritage and tell them how offensive they were? I hope so. Despite my whole "pick your battles" diatribe above, I think that's something worth mentioning. I once told off a woman who was going off about Asians while seated behind me on a plane. People were shuffling down the aisle to get off, and I stood up and turned around, snarled at her about how her whole attitude just plain reeked of uninformed bigotry, and, btw, "if you're going to run your mouth off about people of a particular ethnic background, at least have the smarts to check that a person of that persuasion isn't reclining her seat into your lap." It was so awesome. People in the aisles were literally cheering for me. Man, was she surprised and did she ever have to slink off that plane. She even waited until I was out of the aircraft to try to get out of her seat. Then again, it was a flight from SFO to Seattle. I don't know if I'd have had the same reception in another part of the country.
Which reminds me of a mom who once left a local group I was in because someone used the phrase "We were gypped!". Turns out she was of Romany descent and didn't take kindly to the word being in reference to Gypsies and their stereotypical portrayal as thieves. I actually hadn't thought of it that way until then.
Chrissy, I think the thing with me is that I do feel guilty going off to work. It's not where my heart is, and I keep feeling like there's something I can do to spend more time with Bodhi that won't land us in the poorhouse. That's why I can let the judgy comments get to me... because a part of me believes them. I mean, I have to work and the alternative is far worse. My working contributes greatly to Bodhi having had a pretty fun life so far. I just don't like feeling so disconnected from him while I'm in the office.
Bridge, can I confess, I've been that mom who talks loudly for the benefit of others to hear me parenting? There's no excuse for it. I've just done it maybe once or twice, and I agree it's obnoxious. It's weird, because I really have a personal distaste for the way parenting becomes theatrical in forums like this. I personally don't feel it's necessary to advertise what I've decided is best for my kid. It's like parents just performing for each other or treating parenting like a sport and they're donning team colors. It doesn't make them better parents, does it? And yet, putting 2 and 2 together, I suppose you could say I've been some flavor of "that guy" in the past. Mea culpa.
Speaking of judgements that can eat away at you (and FWPs), I am feeling particularly sensitive about the paint colors I chose that are already on the house. The dark purplish brown for the main house was supposed to look smoky gray with a hint of brown, and the mustardy trim was supposed to look more like a caramel bronze. It does look modern artsy, but very severe, when I was hoping for a look that was modern, but one that blended in with the nature all around us. It's too late to change anything now. So I am hearing the voices of neighbors in my head, saying "Why'd they have to go with those colors?" One day, I will work up the nerve to share a pic of the house with you girls, so you can lie and tell me it's not that bad, or point and laugh.
Karen, why did everyone think you were a racist? Without context, it sounds hilarious! :lol:
That dance class sounds awful! Who would think it was a good idea to teach two-year-olds that way? Then again, I've heard enough stories from the dance world that it's something I'd only have my child do if s/he begged me to and I didn't want to disappoint. A coworker has an 18 year old daughter studying to be a professional ballerina, and she was told she would never get a lead role until her braces were off. So she went to the orthodontist and told him to take her braces off or she'd do it herself with a pair of pliers. He did, even though she wasn't ready. Despite all the money her mom had spent on braces. I just don't want my kids in a world that obsessed with appearance to where they would think that was a good idea. I know of another dancer who had her period induced by hormones at age 19 because she had never started on her own. She gained 10 lbs and was told she needed to lose weight. Again, not what i want for my daughter. I would hope at age 2 they'd be a little more flexible, but it sounds like that group wasn't. Really sad.
Bridget, that story about Kai is hilarious!
Myles, I'm sure your house looks lovely.
I'm 7th generation Texan, and live here by choice. The caveat being that I live in Austin, so it is tolerable. A tiny little normal bubble in the middle of what I consider to be not normal (the nicest way I can say it!) It was definitely a culture shock when I went up north for college. But I grew to really love midwesterners, who seem very honest compared to what I grew up with - Texas is a lot of sweet-faced double-talk, a lot of talking behind people's backs, etc. One of my favorite jokes from when I was a comedian was a guy saying that in his family, the meanest thing you could say about someone was to tell a story about them and then say "We'll just leave it in God's hands" with a slow nod, wide eyes, smirk mouth - totally judgmental but coated with sweetness. I hope you can picture that in your mind because it always made me laugh when he did it.
I hate that ballet class for you! So obnoxious. I enrolled JoJo in a LIttle Rookies class at the Y when she was just 3 - the instructors were trying to teach them how to shoot baskets one day and JoJo was doing great, following instructions, and actually threw the ball towards the basket. The guy said "That's great but next time, use a little flip to your wrist" and was trying to get her to flip her wrist. It was so annoying because she was having a lot of fun up to then and he made her feel really ashamed about not being better. She came over to me and said that she was not a big girl and didn't want to take the class any more. I don't know if that is Texas so much as people having no idea how to deal with small children. We have actually stopped going to a ballet class as of this past Saturday because it's not fun for JoJo and the instructor doesn't know how to teach kids so it's always disorganized and dominated by one annoying little girl who takes up more space and time than she should.
JoJo has had some sort of crazy wonderweek or something. The weekend was disastrous - her behavior was just awful. I am hoping she gets to whatever next level she is trying to get to before I really lose my ^%$&#$*&$.
DH and I met at a bar - I was waiting for an internet blind date who was very late and DH and his friend were sitting at the table next to me! After the date was still not there after 25 minutes, I went and sat with now DH and hung out with them for a drink!:laugh:
I hope JoJo gets past this stage quickly.
That's funny about your date not turning up and now DH being there!
And I remember AOL chat - I did that too for a while. DH was a blind date through a friend of mine. I'll admit in here that it started as a double date with my friend and her DBF, then they left and I stayed the weekend at his apartment. Shhh -don't tell!
Bridget, DS does that too and asks me to read the words to him as well. I get all kinds of long elaborate PWADTRSEVIBLUC type of combinations that he likes me to sound out to him.
DS has been asking to take a dance class again, too. We have been having the twins take one class at a time since last summer, when they started with what was supposed to be a dance/tumbling class and it ended up being mostly pre-ballet and DS was the only boy in the class of a bunch of pink frilly tutus. We didn't get any comments, but I personally am more in favor of gymnastics and swimming (and later on martial arts) as being more practical for life skills on multiple levels, although I've had people argue with me about that as well and say that dance has its own merits. I just think gymnastics is just as good at teaching rhythm and strength and grace, and also teaches good party tricks like handsprings and cartwheels, but I'm probably biased because I took gymnastics for such a long time.
Anyway, I suppose if he keeps asking about it I'll take them back for another dance class. They also seem so much more performance-based by nature than the gymnastics classes, which seem more learning and fun. But of course I'm also biased there because my dance classes as a child seemed regimented and harsh, and I quickly gave them up.
Molly, the class you describe seems awful, and I also cringed like Mylah described at the Indian hooting. I also try to avoid using gypped too, but it's a word I have to consciously avoid using because I grew up with it.
Mylah, give your house two months before you make a firm decision on how you feel about it. It's always a huge shock to repaint, and the first while you're only noticing the change and the imperfections and what is NOT what was before. Check back with us in a while after it's had a chance to grow on you. I've always felt strong regrets immediately after painting, and usually after a while felt much appreciation. This is experience talking!
Strong regrets. That's a perfect way to describe how I'm feeling. Or painter's remorse. I drove past some gorgeous houses around Palace of Fine Arts today, saying "d'oh" after "d'oh" each time I passed a color scheme I could totally have gone with. The thought of terracotta makes me pretty sad right now. So thanks for the encouragement, L. I hope I drive up one day and think "wow!" (Or that you do. ;))
Mandy, why you Jezebel (said in my best Steel Magnolias accent)! :) Actually, the first time DH & I hooked up, I, uh, kind of needed a ride to the airport at 4 am, so I invited him over for a slumber party to make things a little more worth his while. LOL.
Katy, your meet-cute with your DH is another Awwwww! moment. Sometimes I wish I had an organic meetup story like yours, but in my case the guys I happened upon before the internet were nowhere near the caliber of even some of the internet guys who just became my friends.
I made a t-shirt for my DH with a screenshot of my Match.com profile on the front, and on the back, a Winston Churchill quote that went something like "My greatest achievement in life was convincing my wife to marry me." Totally cheesy and own-horn-tooting (tongue-in-cheek), but I did do that.
Hang in there, mama! :vibes:
Originally Posted by girlwonder
Molly, that dance class sounds frightful! omg-I can't even imagine! Are you going to continue looking for a better place for her to attend dance? I've heard dance can be severe, even here they're pretty strict about allowing parents to be in the room...but some do allow it for the little ones.
Myles-I just caught the quote for your retaining wall. Yikes!! Your dh thinks he can do it? Rich would want to do it himself too, but the way he's been in recent years I'd have reservations about him taking on such a task alone. If it were electrical, we could have his brother help (he's an actual electrician) and then I'd feel better.
I met Rich through my cousin. With my mom being nuts and my dad needing to work, my aunt had my brother and I, along with her own 4 kids, a lot. She was like my 2nd mom. So her 4 kids are as close to me as siblings. Rich was best friends with Roger and hung out with him a lot. I'd met him a few times but even though I thought he was cute and he made my heart leap and all that nonsense, I still waited a year before I let it be known I was into him. Roger had a bad reputation with the girls (I think he slept with all my friends even) and I assumed Rich was just as bad. He wasn't. He was just there for the laughs.
Anyway, Rog's sister was notorious for not being able to keep a secret and even at 16 I knew better than to tell her anything I wanted to kept quiet. So I asked her, "Can you keep a secret? I think Rich is hot." Within an hour I overheard my other cousin Brad asking Rich, "Do you think my cousin Chrissy is pretty?" to which Rich answered, "Does a fly like sh1t?" Yeah...it was :wub: :lol:
:laugh: So funny!
Originally Posted by missychrissy
And I am a Jezebel as well BTW. I was very easy and I had spied DH a few times at work. He needed help doing his taxes so I volunteered with the intent of letting him get in my pants if he tried. So I slept with him on the first night we had any time alone together and really I didn't think anything would come of it. I hadn't been with a guy for almost a year and felt like I was going insane and I needed a good man. He was good but I was like "well that was nice, won't talk to him again!" But according to him he "liked my skills" and couldn't let me go. Plus I was pretty and smart (he says this blushing because he doesn't like to give out compliments). We didn't really get serious though until around a year later as I was still just thinking of him as a friend with benefits until one day during one of our heated discussions (they started almost immediately and still occur) I realized I liked debating him and just loved his passion about things and thought he was a great guy and I could see myself being with him for a long time.
And Myles I agree to wait a while on the paint color. I'm sure it'll grow on you. I am considering painting our house and I know it will take me years to find a color scheme I like and then I know I will regret it for probably 6 months until it grows on me. I am the same though with pretty much anything decorating oriented.
And on a previous discussion, I think like you Chrissy. All of the discussions here and IRL that I partake in that criticize other people's choices, maybe even mine, do not bother me at all. I am just confident in my abilities and I live in the moment and do the best I can with the information and wisdom I have acquired. A lot of times here on APA, I admit that I just dismiss a lot of criticisms because I will put a lot of other people's views off to the side based on my thoughts that they are biased or just flat out crazy. And I don't take anyone seriously who is extremely biased or crazy so it doesn't bother me. Stereotypes though do bother me and I have been in very heated arguments IRL with people regarding stereotypes. I also thought it insensitive that the children were asked to hoot around and I get very defensive especially regarding others being stereotyped based on race, ethnicity, or religion if you can believe it. I just don't like to hear people downgrade another person for no particular reason. I feel like if you don't like someone then you should take it up with that individual and not bring a whole group of people into the mix of your distaste. When I used to do customer service at a bank on the phone I had plenty of customers go on and on about how horrible black women were and I would let them go on and on about it and they would try to get me to agree with them and when I told them I was black, all but one quickly hung up the phone. The one told me that I must "be different" from the others. I told him that we are all different and he shouldn't judge based on his interaction with even one or two people of a different background than his. He agreed and apologized. He was a nice guy and talked like Boomhauer from King of the Hill, the one you can barely understand. I used to love that show and I understood every thing that man said. It was recorded, the call and I got a great score for it. My supervisor was impressed that I could actually understand the customer LOL.
Too funny Erin! I like your story. I don't think you're a Jezebel at all either.
I think for me, I have some awesome kids so it's hard for anyone to convince me that my parenting approach is/was wrong. Jesi's going through some stuff but most teens do. And even considering all that, she's not mouthy and her school teachers and administrators still like her. That says a lot...she's not so 'bad' that adults find her annoying. I'm confident she'll get through this phase and ultimately be ok. It's just getting there that's freaking me out sometimes :P lol
Poor Abbey! I hope you do something about it. Isn't there someone higher up (owner/manager) that you can talk to about this? It's all just so wrong. I'll put Mira in martial arts first, and then dance classes (if she wants to); that way, she can kick some shins if she has to.
As for "half the population is below average intelligence" - I think it's more some days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkBmh...ature=youtu.be (evolution is a "belief"?)
Erin, you are truly awesome (and possess a forgiveness in you that's absent in people whose religions dictate they be that understanding). You really should be a UN diplomat. :)
No kidding. I can't tolerate ignorance like that calmly at all. Kudos to you Erin. You're the best!
Originally Posted by demigraf
Yes! Mine will go into Martial Arts very young too. Haven't had the chance to ck out your link yet, but will do once I'm on a real screen.
Originally Posted by Suja
Anyone have the day off today? I don't but I know some schools and services are closed.
Cornell is on fall break, but we're working. We work most the 'little' holidays (such as this one) but we get the week off between Christmas and New Years paid, so I'm not complaining! At least it should be quiet here...not that I didn't already book myself 3 solid days of work, but hopefully the phone won't be ringing off the hook.
Nope I'm at work. We get NO paid holidays since hospitals never close. But my department closes for big holidays and so I have to use PTO or go unpaid.
I feel for you Molly being in TX...my DH was offerred a very high paying job down there but we just couldn't make the move and we wanted to stay closer to home. WI isn't exactly a liberal state but it's definitely not a bible belt one either.
I don't know what kinds of classes my kid will go to. Except swimming. I'm really hoping to start that after he/she turns 6 months old. Martial arts sounds like fun. Dance sounds like maybe...so much depends on the kid and what they want or are interested in. I didn't sports at all except swimming (and not as a sport because while I'm good, I'm very slow).....instead I did orchestra. If it's art, than it's art.
But if we have a son and he's into sports, who knows? Hockey is popular up here. Soccer, baseball is too. Actually our local news station covers high school sports in great detail...much more than they give to the Packers or Brewers! But at least they cover girls sports in detail as well.
The local parks & rec department offered swimming class for babies, and I put Mira in it. She loved it. The only problem was that they weren't really "teaching" anything I couldn't have done by myself, so I felt like we were wasting our time. Then again, I'm not sure if you can actually teach skills to babies that young. You should definitely check out the classes and see what they do before enrollment, if that is at all a possibility.
Originally Posted by Cosmosmom
We're back in a swimming class again, which started yesterday. She liked it less well - more because she just wanted to play in the water instead of following directions - but I can already tell just how much more cautious she's gotten about it in the last 9 months. Also, the water feels COLD, and her teeth are chattering any time she's out of it (like when they teach safe water entry), and she already doesn't want to do that. It's for toddlers 19 months - 3 years old, and I think that's going to be our big issue, since Mira's at the low end of that scale, and isn't going to be able to follow directions like some of the older kids. We shall see.
I am so jealous because DH has the day off, so does Ky. Elle stayed home from daycare because DH is home. I'm the only one who has to work so I was jealous that they all got to sleep in t his morning.
I really don't care what sports/activities the kids are in. I am wary of dance because I have also known girls to starve themselves or speak ill of their appearance based on dance. But Elle LOVES to dance so I will put her in a class. I don't want one that requires rigid form or anything though at this age. Maybe when she is older, but that is when I would be the most wary as older girls are the ones who are more susceptible to having a poor body image. I would be wary of gymnastics for the same reason.
Ky is not all that into sports. He says he wants to play baseball so I'm teaching him some skills. I played a combination of little leage baseball and softball for 10 years throughout elementary school through high school. I love baseball and my argument that I would sue our highschool regarding not being able to play on the base ball team was the reason why they started a fast pitch softball team for girls. I wanted to play baseball in 9th grade and they told me I couldn't so I threatened to sue them for violating Title IX. We got a softball team and a brand new softball field in 10th grade. The boys never had a baseball diamond at our school because there wasn't enough room. The softball diamond fit perfectly in the space available.
DH wants to put Elle into martial arts. He is always worried about kids/people beating up our kids. He was bullied and beat up a lot as a child so I understand his worry. Ky has taken jiu-jitsu but doesn't really like it. He did say that he wanted to take Kung Fu. One of his friends in Robotics takes Kung Fu and can kick really high, which Ky thinks is impressive.
We are waiting to start martial arts. I know a lot of places around here teach it really early, but a lot of the instructors say it's better to start with general body skills like gymnastics and tumbling and things that make it fun before starting martial arts.
I'm working today but I heard on the radio that street cleaning was not being ticketed and they weren't working today, so I went ahead and parked on a street that had street cleaning hours this morning. I hope they were right. There was a huge line of cars waiting for the street cleaners to go by, and I just zipped on by them and parked.
Oh yeah I figure as much. I know I did those classes with my mom when I was a little baby and I don't ever know being scared of the water or a time when I couldn't swim. At that age it's more just going in the water and getting used to that.
Originally Posted by Suja
Plus it's an excuse for me to be in the water on a regular basis...we have a public outdoor pool but yeah it's northern WI so our summer isn't very long. The rec department swim classes are done at the junior high near me.
If I ever win the lottery, the one thing I told DH we are doing for sure is building me an indoor pool in the yard.
I was in gymnastics from 8-14 and I don't recall ever being pushed in an inappropriate way. The gym was in state competition too and usually scored toward the top, but if the girl wasn't in it she wasn't pushed. The only ones that made the team were the ones that truly wanted it and worked for it. I quit just before being accepted...one of my very few regrets. :(
I know, right? We talked about the work involved some more and - after we got up from falling out of our chairs - will just take the path of least resistance/expense. If that means tearing out the retaining wall and just sculpting the hill on which the house was built, then we'll do that. The labor isn't the problem. DH is the grandson of a stonemason (and DH's degree is in engineering, so he understands about the footing requirements), and helped his father build all sorts of walls around their old property in Andover, MA. It's more the process of getting construction/landscaping permits, and possibly needing to get a $3k soil sample for the permits that intimidates us the most. We're hoping not, because the house isn't dependent on the wall to keep its foundation in place. The good news is that the engineer who inspected the wall said it looks about 10 yrs old (owned the house for almost 7) and that we're not in immediate danger of it collapsing. We have maybe 5 years left on the wall. So I am steeling myself for a long DIY uphill battle with getting the proper permits. The workaround might be to rebuild it in sections as "repairs", but that would actually take DH longer (multiple trips, dumpster rentals), and my architect g'friend down in LA (the histrionic one who visited with her baby earlier this year) said that it might not work that way anyway in that county and we'd still need permits regardless.
Originally Posted by missychrissy
For a visual (the house is on a corner lot and the wall wraps 100 ft in a curve around the property, so that's another challenge with doing it in sections):
The school that is highly recommended down here teaches in a play-based setting. One huge room looks like a futuristic Kindergym, with lots of tumbling mats, reflex-builders and balancing equipment. They start the little ones in there, and simultaneously emphasize self-discipline, mindfulness and respect for others as part of the curriculum. Bodhi saw it and was obsessed with going in there already. It did look enticing. I mean, I wanted to go in there and play. LOL.
Originally Posted by 3andMe
$39,000 just seems excessive to me, but I can see what a challenge it's going to be to do it yourself. Are all the soil samples necessary? I swear, sometimes red tape bothers the snot out of me. It's not like you're putting in a new wall.
Savana is doing dance and I'm glad she chose to because she is very uncoordinated and she needs to strenthen her balance. Sometimes I wonder if her lack of equilibrium is related to her behavior problems. I mean, I really have no idea but maybe it's all something going on her brain.
I am looking to enroll Travis in to a gymnastics school; the boy has the flexibility of a cat and loves to tumble and flip around, so I know he'll enjoy a real gymnastics session. One of my friends keeps telling me about how great karate has been for her 5 year old son; I'd like to enroll Travis in to a karate class, but I'm afraid he'll try to spar with Cash and Cash is just to little to know how to fight back just yet! Maybe next year or the year after! We took Travis to a few soccer matches and he told me afterwards that he didn't like it, so we haven't taken him back since.
Wow, that's expensive. I am excited to see the photos of your new paint - I'm sure it looks great. I want to paint our front door in the next couple of weeks. We have dark brown and white trim on a stone house (irregular limestone) and I want some color! I think I have decided on some blues - anyone have one they like?
Sherwin Williams Capri
or Cote d'Azur
It finally rained this weekend and has cooled down to below 85 for the first time since May, so I am having all these ideas about things to do around the outside of the house - but at the same time I am staring down the barrel of the Christmas art show gun so I have to rein in my household impulses. But I really want to paint the door.