Secular Confessions

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

I'm sure it is, but I just wish that those that would be offended by something we say would just stay out of here.

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this is exactly. I might lurk in say chrisitian room sometimes but don't post there often unless I have a real honest question or feel I have something positive to contribute (like once adoption came up...something I have learned a decent amount about recently). I'm not going to get all bent of out shape about views that I don't agree with though. That is so illogical.....I mean if I was going to, I would just stay out of the room and not ever subject myself to something I might be offended by.

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Originally Posted by AmeriBrit

Oh, no! You all need to find me on facebook so that we don't lose each other! I'd miss this thread if it goes.

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Me too! I used to have some APA FB friends but accidently deleted like half my friends a while back. I know I have Kate and Chrissy as a friend so I'm on their friend lists.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

I was just wondering if we were all friends on facebook and if we should just start a Secular group there...if this goes away that is.

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YES!!!! I love the groups on FB. I know that we started one with the adoption home study group so we can keep up with each other after the classes and it's GREAT!

I don't really know how fb groups work...can all your friends see what you post in a fb group? DH and a lot of my family are on my friends list.

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Originally Posted by daylilies

I don't really know how fb groups work...can all your friends see what you post in a fb group? DH and a lot of my family are on my friends list.

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No that is why the group as long as you post to the group, though I'm guessing that the group settings can vary. So if I post to my adoption group, my parents do not see those posts....only the others in that group as it's a private by invite only group.

I'm a member of two private groups on Facebook. The only people that can see the posts are other members of the same group.

It turns out APA now has a Group section. I'm trying to determine if there's a way to make one private. Kate, I invited you to join, but I don't have any idea how you'll know I invited you!! It's just for a test-so don't feel pressure to participate.

Jennifer, I'll invite you too and see if it's easy to determine if/when you've been invited to a group. I did change the settings to "Invite Only" so you may not see it if you go looking.

If you go to your User CP, there's a Social Groups links in the left menu.

When I went to the APA page it told me I was invited to the 2 groups and had accept/decline options.

When I went to the APA page it told me I was invited to the 2 groups and had accept/decline options.

Were they both from me? Initially, I made the test one be invite only but then thought that wouldn't really make it fair for everyone to play with, so I created another named Secular Group and made that one be invite only. I'm curious as to whether that will make it private or not.

Yeah they were both from you. I'm not sure I can handle another social group right now though LOL. Can't we just make that facebook group? I think I'd be more familiar with that.

Oh I don't care-we can do the Facebook one if you want. I was just playing with the new APA settings. The geek in me is like, "ooohhh, look a shiny!!!" :hooray: In fact, I'm not usually on after work but I keep coming into my office at home and playing with stuff. I'm such a dork.

LOL. Let's do that then.

Ok, I created one on Facebook too. :P

See, it looks like when I respond to the secular group on fb, it shows up on my page. Am I doing it wrong?

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Originally Posted by daylilies

See, it looks like when I respond to the secular group on fb, it shows up on my page. Am I doing it wrong?

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It will show up in your newsfeed but it won't show up to where other people can see it. Just you.

Like it should have your name --> group name meaning you posted that message in the group.

Oh ok I thought people could see the message, too, because I can.

No, I'll see it because I'm your friend AND in the group. We have to add people-it may get boring with it just being us. :-)

Um...Janeen! Long time no see!
Never! LOL
Add the rest of us! I know at least Lydia, Ash (the10eels), Myles and Jennifer are on fb.

Oh I just saw you asked me to add people. I will!

Huh. I thought Lydia was one of my friends. What's up with that, Lydia? LOL

I only have people on FB that I know in real life.

I may have had Kate (and any number of you) once upon a time, but since I never go on FB, and pretty much only use it to get messages from some Bay Area friends or when dh asks "I wonder what ole what's his face has been up to lately" or when my grandma sends me a message or (the exception to the IRL rule) when the mods need to communicate because APA is down, it seemed easier to just prune it down to people I see in person or who know me in other ways.

I made a brief announcement when I did it, but you must have missed it. I feel kind of bad about some people, because it was my only contact for people like AnnieEek, but I was trying to be fair across the board.

Man, I have been at work all day, and I missed A LOT! And I am not going to have much time in the next few days to get caught up on all of the changes. I'm fairly sure dh isn't going to be really thrilled to let me skip our Mad Men viewing to do APA homework - not that I'd want to - so I'm going to be behind everyone else for a while. :laugh:

Not a problem at all. I don't think we were ever friends on fb. I think I just saw you comment on other friends' pages.

I think I had AnnieEek too (we actually met once upon a time) but I think she's gone alsol. She and Cesy75...we all met at the Boston aquarium like 3 years ago. They were awesome.

Have fun Lydia!
Kate, we are not facebook friends are we?
One of my dad's good friends passed away yesterday. I'm so sad for him.

This is so weird but Kai really likes the girl who cleans my daycare. She is very sweet and all but my kids are normally really reserved around people they don't well. We are always upstairs when she comes and he'll go down just to talk to her and I listen at the top of the steps and he just chats away. The other night he said to me, "Mom, Dana has a nice soft voice.":laugh:
Savana also feels comfortable around her as well which is huge. Dana also started cleaning our house when I had Sawyer as mil had given me house cleaning funds. Savana had tons of anxiety about Dana cleaning her room because she's a collecter and a lot of her things appear to be garbage to the "untrained" eye. Well, Dana had organized everything very lovingly and didn't even throw away the tiny scraps of paper Savana had cut up. :wub:
Anyway, the weird part is that I want to ask Dana if she would ever be interested in watching the kids. It's like I have had this gem under my roof the entire time I have been thinking I would never find anyone I would trust to watch them.

Oh Bridget I think you should broach the subject! How sweet that your kids think so highly of her.

As it turns out, Conner adores our former (soon to be regular) neighbor a lot. As soon as he gets out of the car he runs down to their house and chats with Jeff. Rich was on the roof one day and noticed Conner was in their backyard and Rich called for him to come up here and Conner responded with, "It's ok. I'm safe!" Jeff waved up at Rich and smiled, so Rich let Conner stay down there. :)

I am trying to choose positivity at the moment. My dh, without checking with me first, invited my mil and fil down for the weekend which is MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND. So on my actual birthday guess what I get to do? I get to clean the house and sweep and mop and make up the guest bed just in case and clean all the bathrooms and sort and tidy all JoJo's things. I am annoyed. But I will simply have to deal with it because it is already done. But seriously, ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! I really don't like spending time with these people because all they do is drink and watch sports and it will be ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!

But really I am most worried because he already gave them permission to keep JoJo overnight at their hotel. The last time they were in town and tried this they got so drunk that my MIL had trouble walking and I had to say that JoJo was too tired. I asked my dh to ask them not to drink and he is just such an enabler to them. He said "Oh, my mom isn't drinking that much anymore because of her diet." I said, "She was drinking last time!" He said "Oh, that was my fault." He wasn't forcing her to do beer bongs or anything - she was the one who chose to drink 4 whiskeys on the rocks followed up with 3 glasses of wine at dinner.

I don't know how to handle this. We already have a dinner party at a restaurant and karaoke afterwards scheduled so I can't really say that we will just stay in so that I can keep an eye on how much they are drinking before they take JoJo to their hotel. I don't know what to do.

Oh no! What a nightmare!! Why did he invite them on your birthday weekend for godsakes?! (that was rhetorical).

I'm so sorry. I think you might have to just be 'mean' and say flat out that JoJo will not be staying with them if they drink. Don't discuss it, don't get defensive about it, just stand firm. That's what I'd do.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

Oh no! What a nightmare!! Why did he invite them on your birthday weekend for godsakes?! (that was rhetorical).

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She totally guilted him into it - she was moaning about how she hasn't seen JoJo in soooooooo long (a whole month) and she wanted us to come next weekend but he has a friend who wants to come stay with us next weekend (again I was NOT CONSULTED and will have to spend the day cleaning again!!!) He called her and told her and she started crying and he offered that up to stop her from crying I guess. I'm sure she perked right up. Meanwhile here I am almost in tears because my birthday is just ruined and I will be worried all night if they keep JoJo with them. :crazy::pokey::ohno:

Hi. So this is what happens if I take a little break from APA ... they change everything around! I need to look and see what big changes they made. Chrissy, would you be willing to add me to the secular group on FB?

I'm a little uncomfortable with this thread being public. There's a lot I've said in here I wouldn't have said if the board at the time hadn't been visible through a google search. I hope this situation changes.

Kate, yuck about your birthday. That's terrible.

Lydia, I owe you a return PM. I meant to send it earlier but I've been feeling super un-motivated (read: lazy) recently. I'll send it.