I worry about your health and the stresses you have to deal with daily. I worry about Jonathan too. You are the strong one in the family. Oh, Jonathan may be big and muscular and able to lift a side of dressed Angus by himself but you are the one who is strong in spirit. You are smart, analytical, determined, flexible, have big eyes and plenty of heart. (I threw the big eyes in just to see if you were paying attention.) I remember when you did the leg work for the eggheads on the bird study. You tumbled down cliffs, were eaten alive by insects and were bird pecked enough to leak if you werenít already self-sealing. You have known a lot of jerks in your life and have been handed a lot of injustices but you always seem to persevere. You know, you donít have to throw your brains in the trashcan to believe in God. There are a lot of bright people out there who do, including scientists and Doctors. Maybe, just maybe, you need to give him your burdens for awhile. Since Motherís stroke, I have had a relationship with God that I would have never believed 15 years ago. Go somewhere quiet and tell him your troubles. He already knows all about you and what you are worrying about. He wants you to talk to him about them. Afterwards, just sit quietly and meditate for awhile. Peace can come to your soul and sometimes answers come to your head. Sometimes, the answer comes by way of a phone call or a visitor or something you happen to read. You may feel silly at first but I think you should give prayer a chance. It can bring you some peace and some guidance for your problems.