Secular Confessions

Hi everybody!

I confess that I'm so sick, and getting like, NO sympathy from DH. He is usually really sweet, so I don't really know what his problem is, but when I use all my remaining energy to make dinner or help Norah with her PJs, DH says something like, "see, you're FINE! If you have enough energy to cook, you can't be that sick". Uhhhh, screw you, dude.

Anyway, I don't think its *THE* flu, I think its just a nasty cold, but I've been quarantined (my own choice) anyway just because it is SO AWKWARD to cough in public these days. The LOOKS you get, oh my.

I'm trying to catch up with everyone's posts here. I can say that I also wish all vax talk could be temporarily banned from the forum. Or if I could put a whole topic on ignore? That would be nice. I don't have the self control to just.not.click. Its a problem.

I skimmed the vax talk, but it didn't really change my opinion one way or the other. I'm still undecided. LOL
Josh and I are also sick, which I also don't think is *the* flu, but it's still annoying! Plus DH and I were supposed to go out tonight but MIL is sick now, so we don't have anyone to watch Josh! I'm really due for a break!

In better news, I'm using some of the strategies I found in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen (and vice versa) and wow, they are working! I have such a hard time getting Josh to pick up after himself. Today all I said was "Josh, I see your toys in the way, could you move them?" and he did! I almost fell over! I am just too commanding, thinking that will make him do what I'd like. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working! This book really makes me realize I'm not approaching things in the right way.
If anyone would like any info from the book I'd be more than happy to share.

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Originally Posted by daylilies

I skimmed the vax talk, but it didn't really change my opinion one way or the other. I'm still undecided. LOL
Josh and I are also sick, which I also don't think is *the* flu, but it's still annoying! Plus DH and I were supposed to go out tonight but MIL is sick now, so we don't have anyone to watch Josh! I'm really due for a break!

In better news, I'm using some of the strategies I found in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen (and vice versa) and wow, they are working! I have such a hard time getting Josh to pick up after himself. Today all I said was "Josh, I see your toys in the way, could you move them?" and he did! I almost fell over! I am just too commanding, thinking that will make him do what I'd like. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working! This book really makes me realize I'm not approaching things in the right way.
If anyone would like any info from the book I'd be more than happy to share.

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That sounds like the book for me!!! I tend to be a bit strong...ahem...overbearing...ahem...and get a negative response most days.

Ditto on the vax issue.

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Originally Posted by daylilies

In better news, I'm using some of the strategies I found in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen (and vice versa) and wow, they are working! I have such a hard time getting Josh to pick up after himself. Today all I said was "Josh, I see your toys in the way, could you move them?" and he did! I almost fell over! I am just too commanding, thinking that will make him do what I'd like. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working! This book really makes me realize I'm not approaching things in the right way.
If anyone would like any info from the book I'd be more than happy to share.

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That was a required book when I was working on my Associate's. It really is a good book.

Wow, that book sounds really interesting. I'm sure I'm not always doing it right, but I do know that my approach is much more successful that DH's most of the time. I think he sounds very demanding, bordering on mean (when he is tired). I know he doesn't know how he sounds, but he is starting to notice that its not having the effect he is looking for.

Man, I'm really ragging on dh today. He is bugging the heck out of me right now! :laugh: Thank goodness I have you all so I can let off a little steam. phew.

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Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43

That sounds like the book for me!!! I tend to be a bit strong...ahem...overbearing...ahem...and get a negative response most days.

Ditto on the vax issue.

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LOL...it's funny because to adults I am the most laid back person ever...I have a hard time telling them what I want...but I have very short patience with Josh and I could just tell I was not being the kind of mother I wanted to be, and he was not receptive to anything I would say. I have no patience for asking something perfectly reasonable and being answered with a "No" Ooo it just makes me want to throw things. I thought I had to be more forceful in what I was asking but it turns out I was probably just scaring the kid :(
You could really use any of the tips to speak to any aged child from a toddler to a teen. I think you should at least thumb through it if you want some help.

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Originally Posted by maggie

Wow, that book sounds really interesting. I'm sure I'm not always doing it right, but I do know that my approach is much more successful that DH's most of the time. I think he sounds very demanding, bordering on mean (when he is tired). I know he doesn't know how he sounds, but he is starting to notice that its not having the effect he is looking for.

Man, I'm really ragging on dh today. He is bugging the heck out of me right now! :laugh: Thank goodness I have you all so I can let off a little steam. phew.

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LOL
DH's approach is a lot like that too. I was trying to get one of my new methods to work when I wanted Josh to give back the box of cereal he grabbed out of the cupboard. DH just snatched it out of Josh's hands and Josh started to cry. So while he got the desired result, it could have been done without making Josh cry and by teaching him something, like how he should ask first before he grabs food.

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Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43

I'm driving myself batty with the vaccine information I have gathered. I have come to the conclusion that the only correct decision is the one that turned out well when you looked back:pokey:


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So true!

I'm all for information but too much isn't always a great thing either. Made that mistake when the IF clinic suggested doing an HSG. I should have stayed OUT of the provider databases and information....talked myself out of doing one.

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Originally Posted by rhiannasmoms43

I confess that my cat came back! He has been gone since Halloween night and we had posters up, an ad in the newspaper, phoned all the vets/ animal control/ Humane society to leave his stats. He has a brutal cough that got 150% worse from being exposed to the elements (rain, hail, sub-zero temp) for the last 4 days, but he is home and eating like a horse:hooray:

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Sorry about the menopause....but great news that kitty is home! :)

As for vaxing, I really don't care what other people do there. Just HATE when information is mispresented or things all called research when they are anything but. Or most of the "research" is done online with no consideration of if the website is reliable or not.

I should have used the quote buttons as I went along trying to catch up . . .
Yay for return of the cat and opening of the bridge. Boo for cancer, sleepless nights and annoying forum debates.

I confess I'm still on the fence about flu vax for my family, but have stayed out of the conversations so far (though I've read some). I agree it's a decision only the family in question can make for themselves and really no one else's business.

We got flu vax last year (when we never had before) cause 1) they were given free at work and 2) we had a 2 month old who was too young to get it himself.

The free shot clinic this year is today and next week (seasonal only, H1N1 not available). Though we believe Tred had the seasonal flu last week. Doc thought it was H1N1 and ran tests. It came back negative, but he still diagnosed him with seasonal because all his symptoms were spot on and the test has a 20% false negative rate.

I don't know why I'm waffling this year when I didn't last year. Not trying to start a debate here . . . just thinking out loud.

Since we're educating ourselves about flu . . .

"How do you tell the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?"

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If you have bird flu, they give you a tweetment, and if you have swine flu you get an oinkment.

I confess that my dad just called and while the cancer is not spreading, it's also not showing improvement. They are switching her treatment again...so a whole new round of side effects I imagine. The good news is that the dr says they have a lot of options to go through.
The bad news is that mom just seems really down and really sick and tired of it all. Not that I blame her. I just wish there was something I could do to make her happy. This weekend we were there and she adores Savana and Kai but then she'd turn around and cry and tell me she was sorry she didn't get Savana much for her birthday which is ridiculous. And that she's sorry she has no energy which is also ridiculous because, sure, she can't chase them around but she read like 20 books in a row to Savana which is Savana's idea of bliss.
She just never thinks she's good enough.:ohno:

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Originally Posted by sunrider

Since we're educating ourselves about flu . . .

"How do you tell the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?"

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.
.
.
.
.
.
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If you have bird flu, they give you a tweetment, and if you have swine flu you get an oinkment.

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Now that's bad. :laugh:

I confess I've been a lurker recently; I need to start posting again, but I'm just not motivated at the minute.

I confess.......
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DH GOT A JOB!!!!



He was hired on to a company that works closely with the company his step dad works with (as a favor to his stepdad, but its a job!) It is just pending his drug test and physical!

Congrats, Ash; that's awesome.

I forgot to post that I got my pt hours made in to a permanent job! Yay for me.

OMG, and something funny to tell as well...I just went outside with my DH so that we could move our cars around as he takes his little sports car to work when I don't car-share with him on Thurs/Fri. Any how, I turned and looked to the house just across the street from us and could see a guy sitting on a toilet (the windows were kind of frosted but not much!) and I saw him wipe twice! LOL. My DH just stood there and laughed in amazement...I think I should let them know their window is not doing its job.....

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Originally Posted by silverstar

Congrats, Ash; that's awesome.

I forgot to post that I got my pt hours made in to a permanent job! Yay for me.

OMG, and something funny to tell as well...I just went outside with my DH so that we could move our cars around as he takes his little sports car to work when I don't car-share with him on Thurs/Fri. Any how, I turned and looked to the house just across the street from us and could see a guy sitting on a toilet (the windows were kind of frosted but not much!) and I saw him wipe twice! LOL. My DH just stood there and laughed in amazement...I think I should let them know their window is not doing its job.....

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Sounds like the window is doing its job beautifully, but the window treatment (the frosting) thats not!

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Originally Posted by atenielle

Sounds like the window is doing its job beautifully, but the window treatment (the frosting) thats not!

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LOL....yeah, we just stood there in amazement, like, "he's not, oh, he is....eeeeeew!"

LOL silverstar..
I confess I was flipping by some uh, adult entertainment when Josh was napping, and I all of a sudden got a horrible thought, oh no, are the shades open behind me? They weren't...but I can totally see myself doing that!

Congrats on your husband getting a job Ashley!

Yay for DH getting a job! Woo hoo!!

And yeah, I think the frosting is not doing it's job.

We just had a few replacement windows put in a couple weeks ago. Doing them a few at a time cause the whole house would have been like $8,000. The bathroom window is one of those where you wonder what the stupid architect was thinking - the window is IN the shower stall. Wood window. Wood trim. Lots of water. No brains. (No, there's nothing wrong with a window in a shower stall when it's up high near the ceiling, but this is at regular window position from our waists to above our heads).

I've been sealing it up with clear plastic and a lot of tape. When the sales guy said they successfully replace shower windows with a vinyl WATERPROOF double-hung, I made sure that was in the first round of windows. We ordered it clear on the top half and obscured (i.e. factory "frosted") on the bottom half. The middle comes at my neck, and it will be nice to finally get some natural light in the bathroom.

The day they installed, I stayed out of the way. Went to the bathroom after they'd completed it, to discover the factory reversed it - clear on the bottom, obscured on the top. I taped a piece of paper to the outside of the window while they're getting the right one made.

I confess I don't know what to do with Audrianna.... She does NOT listen to me about being careful around Charlie... She just sat on her, and kicked her twice!

Maybe it's jealousy, Ashley? Obviously not having two, I don't know firsthand but I know from a lot of previous posts here that older kids act out when a new baby is around. Can you get some time with just Audri, so she feels special?
I confess I'm tired of Josh asking me for one snack after another! He just finished a bowl of popcorn and now he wants a treat! (candy)

I confess my husbands cousin just had a baby (well his wife did!) and I have uber jealous because DH and I have have been married longer, trying longer and are just a whole lot more stable financially and such. I REALLY wanted us to have the first great-grandbaby. I have been jealous enough that I'm trying to avoid going back home for christmas (his family is in Milwaukee and mine is like 45 min south). So basically going to avoid my family too. I just don't know if I could see the family fawning over the baby that I think should have been ours. (I'm ok with one of my best friends being pg though...just this family one is getting to me).

Anyway, did the whole facebook posting about how beautiful and cute the baby is....but in reality, I have to confess that she isn't a cute newborn at all....and that does make it a bit easier for me.

Yeah for DH's job!

And yeah it's stupid to put a window in a shower. A lot of older homes we looked at did that...I think it was that it used to just be a bath...and shower heads were added later.

House we are building doesn't have a window in either bathroom...that is ok with me!

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Originally Posted by daylilies

Maybe it's jealousy, Ashley?

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I think thats part of it, and if its not, I'm obviously aware that it will be at some point...

I think alot of it is that my mom was just here for 2 weeks also, and she took care of Audrianna for most of that time... She just left yesterday, and Audrianna hasn't been listening to me or DH since.... (We deal with this everytime she comes home from MIL's too....)

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Originally Posted by atenielle

I confess I don't know what to do with Audrianna.... She does NOT listen to me about being careful around Charlie... She just sat on her, and kicked her twice!

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Mine would have been the same way at that age, jealous or not. It's just hard to remember to be careful and control impulses. They're not even careful with themselves still (although they're much better about listening) even though they know what kinds of things hurt. I found that telling them what I wanted them to do, like "Be gentle" or "Pet" or "Sit NEXT to the baby" worked better than telling them what I didn't want them to do.

Congratulations on all the good job news.

And I'm amused at all the window stories. My parents have a window in their shower. It has a great view, but the wooden frame has gotten moldy and swollen and now the window won't latch completely, which is bad in a place where winter lasts for 9 months.

Bridget, regarding the wedding--I went to a Catholic wedding two months ago, and it was totally kid-friendly. Behind all the main rows of seats there was a "cry room" which was glass-enclosed so everyone in there could see the ceremony. I think they could probably hear as well, with the sound system. All the parents sat in there with their children who were just running around, and there was a playground in the church yard so they could go outside if they got too squirmy. I had gotten a babysitter for my children, but hadn't realized exactly how easy it would have been to have them there.

I forgot to add yesterday... Our shower has a window in it as well... Though they were smart enough to not do a wooden window sill... Its all tile, but sMIL put blinds in it, and the blinds get wet with every shower (duh) and now are all moldy/mildew-y. Its rather disgusting...

ETA - and the window doesn't close fully either, so now that its getting cooler, its rather uncomfortable to be standing in a nice hot shower, then have this really cold breeze coming in...

I went for my 3rd (and hopefully final) blood draw from the miscarriage today. There was a practice nurse there and they asked me if she could do my draw. She looked a nervous wreck and I should have really said no, but I felt sorry for her, so I said yes. She did a number on my arm! And there was blood everywhere....and I nearly fainted....so, I think I might have scarred her for life....LOL. I really hope my numbers have gone down so that I don't have to go back there!

Natural light in the bathroom is great! This house is the first time I've had that since I lived at home. I love it. In the summer I didn't even have to turn the lights on in there.

I confess, major drama and words were exchanged last night. I don't think things will ever be the same. At least I know the truth now, how he has always felt about me and I think he knows how I feel about him. I asked him why we got married and had a kid if he always kinda felt like he didn't like me that much, and he said he wasn't sure. We don't have a lot in common, and we don't have that "in love" feeling I always wanted to feel about whoever I married, and how I wanted them to feel about me. I don't know if we'll ever get that feeling and I think I will always live my life regretting that I didn't marry and have kids with someone I was really in love with. I found out a lot of things I didn't know about how DH feels about me and my personality, and why he stays with me (not out of wanting to, but obligation) I cried so much that my eyes are swollen and I feel dehydrated. I think I realized my life will never be what I wanted it to be. I keep wishing there was a way to split myself in two and live my life here and be there for Josh and still get my happy, loving, supportive, mutual feelings relationship. I really do.
A lot more was discussed, but it would take a novel to get into it!