Secular Confessions

Good vibes coming your way for the adoption to happen soon, Jennifer! I hope this is your year.

L, look at how cute you were as a child! I'm sorry C had to have her tooth pulled. We went to see the Rise of the Guardians at the cinema today, and Travis was talking about how he can't wait for his teeth to come out so that he can get presents in exchange for them. I did have to laugh at that movie how the bad guy (the boogie man) had an English accent...it seems like a big perecentage of the baddies in movies have an English accent....

I've been meaning to mention something to y'all that I saw on FB the other day. A lot of the people that I'm friends with in AR are quite religious. I ignore most of it, but the other day a high school friend mentioned that her dad has cancer. Then a few days after that, she put on her status that it was killing her that her dad was struggling with cancer and he hadn't accepted Jesus in to his heart. On one hand, I feel sad for her that she is obviously distressed that she thinks her dad won't have eternal salvation or whatever they believe but on the other hand, it annoys me that people actually let religion dictate that to them. For some reason, I like thinking that people have something in them that lives on once their bodies die and it upsets me to think that people think we are separated for being 'christian' or non-christian.

Any how. We've had a busy week so far. After the movies today, we took Travis out for dinner. We then went and met my teacher friend whom I work with at my current school. His boyfriend is away for the week, so he wanted someone to go out for coffee with him. It was funny on the way out, Travis said to me, "We're going to see your friend? Does she have a baby?" So I told him that we were going to see a male friend and he was like, "Does he have kids?" So I told him no and that he's not married and doesn't have kids. Travis thought about it for a few seconds and then he said, "So, he lives alone has to do the housework himself?" LOL. This kid is nuts.

We went and picked Cash up from daycare at the end of the day and his key worker said that he'd entertained them all day by singing that One Direction song, "Live While We're Young" over and over. Both my boys love to sing and they actually sing in key. It's quite cute.

DH and I have met up with a few friends this week whom we haven't seen in awhile. A lot of them seem to have become more materialistic since we saw them last. As in, they're driving flashier cars, upgrading to bigger houses and getting more techno gadgets. It annoys DH, but I'm a little oblivious to it all. We live a relatively debt-free life, which in return means we don't worry about money at all, but I think DH feels a bit inferior to everyone especially since they're all driving things like Range Rovers and Audis and their kids all have their own i-pads. I guess it's his sister and BIL that rub him the wrong way the most. I guess he feels like as they move up in the world, we are stuck looking like the poor relations. I can't be bothered with their keeping up with the Joneses outlook on life. I'm sure Travis will soon ask me why some of his friends/cousins have so many material things from Santa and I'll just have to let him in on the secret that it's the kids' parents who've bought them certain things.

I'm sure ultimately your debt free life will pay off in the long run, and your friends just might be suffering at the same time. Not that I hope for it, but I've actually lived that sort of thing. Having Bobbie and Jesi so young, I obviously didn't have what my friends and relatives my age had. Not for many, many years. But now the tables have turned. The only one I secretly take pleasure in knowing this about is one cousin who would 'rub it in' to my face as often and as cruelly as he could when we were in our 20's. I never mention it...just know "I won" is satisfaction enough for me. :P

I get what you're saying too about the friend who's too preoccupied with her father's 'saved/not saved' status. The only relative I have any anxiety about knowing I'm atheist is my maternal grandmother, and that's because I know she would (and likely has) sat up in the wee hours of the morning praying and crying for me. I hate causing her that sort of pain, so I avoid my religious beliefs as much as possible around her.

Would you guys make a big deal of this, or just kinda go with it? As you know, Conner has been very slow at potty training. Very. He finally got it (woo hoo) and hasn't had any accidents in quite some time (aside from that incident at school, when he had diarrhea). But I've learned that he's been taking himself to go potty at Daddy's house for a couple months, only calling for help to make sure he 'got it all' when he goes poop. At my house, he expects me to come in with him. I unbutton his pants and when he's finished I pull them back up and snap him. He does not wipe himself here.

It's obviously specific to me, but I'm wondering if I should just give it more time and just 'go with it' since he just suddenly started going potty at dad's, perhaps he will at my house as well when he's ready. Or should I try to encourage him somehow to go here alone as well? If so...how? He's started to have an accident waiting for me to hurry to the bathroom to be with him. I feel like he struggled with this phase so much, I don't want to do one thing that makes him regress, feel bad, or somehow cause a traumatic incident for him.

I feel you, Ashley. I don't like spending money on material things, and it shows. We have a small house, one car, nothing top of the line (except some of hubby's technology stuff). Like you, I'm totally fine with it, I even prefer it this way. But hubby isn't fine with it. He wants EVERYTHING top of the line. Big house, big yard, all the toys... It's tough living with a guy who just wants "more"...

Honestly, I think it's so sad that people would spend what could be the final hours with someone worrying about something as silly as personal beliefs. I mean, come on, do you really want the final hours to be spent arguing over something so immaterial?? Well, I hope it's not the final hours for them, but still, why spend the time disagreeing with something that's really none of your business??

Chrissy, I'm very new to this whole PT thing, so take my opinion with a grain of salt... But I'd say to go at his pace. If he wants your help, give it to him. The more I set the pace for Maiya, the more she resists. So I now follow her lead. Don't know if that would work for him or not, but that would be opinion. Besides, they're only little for so long... Soon he won't need your help with hardly anything! I know poop isn't exactly enjoyable... But try to enjoy it while you can!

Well, got good news yesterday! My cyst is gone, my follies are all under 10, so I was able to start Letrozole yesterday! A day late, but hopefully it will still be ok. I start the injectables tomorrow, yuck. I've given myself shots before, but it's never easy. I'm terrified, because I actually find myself thinking this cycle will work, because it's different. The chances are still very slim, though, and I feel like, by getting my hopes up, I'm just setting myself up for a broken heart. Ah well, onwards!

That's great news, Janet! I'm so happy for you.

Jennifer, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. 2013! :D

On another note, a friend of mine shared this on FB and my inner 13 yr old boy was totally tickled by it: http://thefw.com/unintentionally-ina...ildrens-books/ :lol:

Wonderful news Janet!!!

I think if I were still Christian, I'd just leave that up to the person and God. Even when I was young and various "Christians" would try to tell me my uncle went to hell because he took his own life (oh, yes, they did!), I didn't believe them. I always felt we didn't know what "He" would judge us for. As I got older, I knew depression was an illness and highly doubted any God would send someone to burn for eternity because they had a medical condition. I had one pastor that I loved who said that we don't know what's in people's hearts, but God does. We cannot predict anything for them and we could never know how God would judge. If I had to sit in church now, I'd want it to be his. He preached about 'doing good' and being kind and most of all, do not judge!

Myles, you're a trip!

For those that might have missed it, here's a copy/paste of an email exchange my friend had with someone he supports:


Hi all,Just a heads up, I am noticing a bunch of vertical colored lines on my screen (some are light blue and others are red). I don’t know if this means the screen is about to go kaput. Let me know.Thanks, L

We can try swapping in a different monitor.

Does that mean I need to clean everything off my “desktop” screen? Or will that re-appear with a new monitor? L

Hmmm, I'm going to go ahead and admit that I could see myself asking that question without thinking it through and then feeling stupid. My smilies don't work but I'm blusing right now. And now winking. And now smiling. lol

Bridget, I can see that with you. You avoid electronics as if they might radiate cancer and you don't use them every day for your job. This woman has worked in that position for 8-10 years and uses her computer nearly nonstop all day long. You'd think some basic, elementary principals would have set in somewhere. She's just a ditz in all ways. This just happened to be very funny for me. :)

True. It was funny when I saw that on your fb last night I was like, "So what's the answer??" Hahahahaha! We are off to the city for the play! Woot woot!

:shocker: What's the answer? Oh B. lmao!!!!

Have fun!!!

Chrissy I think I would give him more time too. Eventually he will not want your help. And that exchange made me smile! LOL Hope you have fun at the play Bridget! Better today than tomorrow when the next winter storm is coming. I think this one is called Q.

Jennifer and Janet, I hope this is it for you guys.

Janet, our spouses are alike in that way. We don't live a lavish lifestyle, and I'm completely okay with that. DH doesn't really want to live a lavish lifestyle, but wants all the trappings of it. Mansion, new and fancy cars, etc. He keeps telling me that my SUV needs replacing, because it's 12 years old. I don't feel like I need to, because there is nothing wrong with it, and it takes me from Point A to Point B just fine.

Myles, you can be counted on to make me laugh.

Chrissy, can you work it from a privacy angle? That's what happened with Mira. We started talking about needing privacy when we go to the bathroom, and she picked up on it. Now, she makes a point of closing the door, then doing her business, only calling when she needs help (she needs help to wipe, of course). And no, we still don't get any privacy when we're in the bathroom.

I finally got around to printing Mira's pictures for the poster we're supposed to put up tomorrow, for her birthday. Is it just me, or is school more work for the parent than it is for the child?

ETA: I don't have ALL the pictures. In fact, I don't have any of the pics of her as a baby, on account of Irfanview putting it in something called 'Irfanview GIF' format, and the CVS kiosk not recognizing it.

lol about not getting privacy yourself. :P Classic!

I might bring it up in a nonchalant kinda way...as if I don't really care. Just to get a feel for how he reacts.

School is DEFINITELY more work for the parents...and it doesn't get better as they get older. I really, REALLY resented the amount of stuff I had to help my kids with. I mean, I work full time. I'd get home at 5:30 (in the good days, now it's 5:45), have dinner, do dishes, and by then it would be 7 at the earliest and i'd be facing at least an hour helping the girls with their homework. Forget about the darned family projects...ugh! I always wanted to beat the teachers for that nonsense. I put my time in in school. Leave me alone! Actually, I didn't. I hated it so much I quit after 10th grade. Ha!

I remember going to a friend's house once, and his wife was sewing a pilgrim costume for their son! Apparently, all the kids had to wear period costumes, and the teacher sent home patterns. WTF would I do with that? I can't even hem!

Oh I'd be done. I'd let my kid get a zero. I don't sew at all. I don't even own needle & thread!

I think that's the most ridiculous 'parent assigned homework' I've heard of yet. Man, I'd be witching about that. There'd be a phone call.

Yeah my cousins in grade school get a lot of projects that they are supposed to be able do on their own but really you need parents to do a lot of it. The only sewing I do is stitching a hole in a seam or a dog toy. Or I can do a button. I'm sort of hand sewing a christmas stocking for the baby but mostly it's just attaching pieces of felt to each other and beading. Hems, I bring those in to a tailor.

It is pretty serious to presume that the parent has a) time b) money c) skill to complete something like that. The pattern looked complex, and included a hat even!

That hat pushed me over the edge. It's hilarious from where I'm sitting now and I did lol literally...but if I was the mom on the receiving end of that assignment...oh golly!

Myles, that inappropriate children's book link made me spit out a squash bite. If I hadn't already cleaned up so much vomit this morning, I might have almost been annoyed, but it was just a drop in the actual bucket. So far, R. & DH and I are not sick. S. has been the worst, with an entire night spent writhing and crying. He was standing in front of the toilet in the middle of the night the other night, looking at it and gulping, and I urged him to throw up because it would make him feel better, and he said with a little sob, "But I don't want to!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

That hat pushed me over the edge. It's hilarious from where I'm sitting now and I did lol literally...but if I was the mom on the receiving end of that assignment...oh golly!

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Oh, I thought it was pretty funny at the time, and definitely thought 'Better you than me'. Now, it's a little scary, because Mira would be in the same school system, and who knows, we could end up needing to make a pilgrim costume. Ridiculous!

L, that sounds miserable. Poor S! I totally understand where he's coming from.

Throughout grade school (K-8, actually), we put a production on each year called an "Extravaganza", and my gramma sewed all our costumes. I was Betsy Ross, a doo-wopper, a McDonald's cashier (don't ask), a flapper, a Singer/Tap Dancer in the Rain (that costume was mostly a raincoat), and ... I'm sad I can't remember any of the others anymore. I never once thought about what a drag it must have been for parents to have to sew and/or buy their kids costumes. It was very exciting for the kids, but I wish they made it easier on the parents.

Multi-quote isn't working for me. :( But Ash, about your friend "saddened" by her dad's refusal to accept Christ in his life, there's something that really rubs me the wrong way about the public declaration of it. It strikes me even as un-Christian-like to put it in your status; it's as though you expect all your friends to marvel at how pious you are. Pride and vanity are sins, and you don't have to be Christian to feel that way. Yuck.

Chrissy, I would encourage Connor to start using the potty on his own, but give it time. Maybe it's his way of expressing that he wants "mommy" time. I have to share that Bodhi sits in the bathroom with DH on most mornings and chats with DH while his daddy is doing his morning sit-down. It's such cute bonding time (I love hearing the conversations they have.) I sit with B sometimes too while he's pooping and read to him - but only some of the time. So there's something special to me about "company in the bathroom", LOL. So if it's "mommy time" he wants, you can encourage him to hurry up and do his business on his own so the two of you can do something else that's fun together. And if he's unwilling ,you can still go in with him. I don't think he's never going to learn how to go on his own if you're not there. He just likes ya. :)

Myles, I was Betsy Ross one year too. :) Except I made a mistake and wrote Besty Ross on my name tag. LOL

"Bestie Ross"! :lol:

Oh yeah. I forgot. I got a psycho email today from my sister. Last time we had an exchange, I told her she could write me but I didn't want to talk to her because I was too mad. Apparently, in her mind, I was trying to "trap" her into writing the sordid details of her life down so I could use them against her and/or I enjoy picking her words apart. And her note was primarily meant to persuade me to reconsider talking to her. My response was simple. In essence: "Leave me alone."

That is hilarious, Jennifer!I cannot believe a parent was asked to sew a freaking costume! That's crazy. The play was so awesome! It was called Too Many Frogs and just was just a very well done show. The kids were extremely well behaved and my dad actually met us outside the theater because he works right up the road. He bought the kids some popcorn from a little shop and then walked us to the van, carried Sawyer for me. He spoils us! Sawyer actually clung to me during the entire play because the lights went down and only the stage was lit. I kept whispering in his ear, "You ok?" and he would whisper back, "Yes, mama. Dark." So sweet. But I don't think he saw any of the play. ETA: Oh, paragraphs how I miss you.