Secular Confessions

And it's sad for the other kids in the class as well because they don't even flinch now when we have some violent episodes...they just get on with their work...to think that that is their norm for their classroom is just sad. The one boy who is the worst has at least 3 different agencies besides school trying to help him and his family, but when you hear that his mother lets him play those games like Halo or whatever it's called so that he doesn't attack her, you have to think to yourself, 'what else can we do to make things right for him?'

Oh, Ash. :( That's so heartbreaking. The kids shouldn't be numb to that sort of thing at their age. I'm glad to hear he has 3 different agencies helping him. I wonder if he'd get that level of help here. (I don't know what his issues are, of course.) I tentatively believe that parents should regularly have to pass aptitude tests before being allowed to carry on parenting.

I can't really think too much anymore. Brings on memories of when my sister called me saying people were running out of building with blood on them yelling about a shooter....what should she do? Me: get out of there an don't go to class. Ended up on lockdown on the bus with the bus driver (lockdown was ordered after everyone else had gotten off and her apartments were the last stop). I was thankful for the media that day because I was able to get updates to her and that bus driver (who was almost hysterical) before they were updating the drivers. My sister was friends with one of the victims.

If I think about scary stuff too much....I couldn't leave the house and what is the point of living like that.

So instead I'm planning a vacation. Right now we are thinking of going to NYC in May. DH has never been there and I was there when I was 18 but it was a school trip since the chamber orchestra was playing at Carnegie Hall. I did a few things there but we had to spend a lot time in rehearsal too.
Trying to decide where to stay, what is must to do's.

Oh, I loved NYC when we went there on our honeymoon! You'll have a blast, Jennifer! I, too, have been thinking of vacations. I want to do Spain in the summer this year. If I get in to a teacher training program, I will have a stressful year ahead of me, so I'd like to have a nice 2 week stay in Spain by a pool with lots of sangria (and things for the kids to do as well, of course!) :)

Oh, I love NYC too. It'll be so nice in the spring.

Finally got my christmas cards out in the mail today. :) DH helped by addressing all the envelopes. It was sort of fun making them....but I'm thinking that maybe next year I will do a photo one...maybe with a baby? :fingerscrossed:

Hi guys! I've been MIA because I just can't take it. I was on fb too much anyway so maybe this will be a good way for me to stop being on the computer so much. Ash: I just got your Christmas card today - I love it! Thank you. I don't think we are going to get cards out this year, I'm so sorry. Dh is a little clench-y about money right now as our re-fi didn't work out. Our house got appraised for $45,000 less than three years ago somehow. No one is our neighborhood is selling right now so I guess there were no good comp houses. The only good thing now is that we can lower our property tax payment. So we pretty much break even. Anyway, it was a little upsetting last week. And then Friday just destroyed me. I am still crying about it. And it was a hard weekend for me because I have been a little sick for about a week and it just got worse on Saturday but I had to be up and energetic and happy for all my dh's birthday plans. It was his 40th birthday weekend so we saw Louis CK on Friday night (that was just so hard to get myself together to go see comedy on such a dark and sad day) then a party on Saturday night here at the house so I had to clean and make food for 30 when all I wanted to do was lie down and cry from being sad and sick. The party was fun and everyone had a good time (karaoke- I still don't have a voice) but I got to go to bed at about 3:30 a.m. and couldn't sleep from being overtired, a little tipsy, sore throat and headache and sad and my brain just wouldn't shut down. It was a terrible night and I finally got up at 7:00 a.m. for the day. My dh got to sleep in because it was his birthday, then we went to brunch and then he got to hang out at home and I took JoJo to a Christmas music concert. I got home at about 4:30 and said I was going to lie down for a bit and just passed out for two hours, got up and had dinner and bedtime for JoJo and then passed out again at 9:30. I'm still feeling sad and sick today and didn't realize that my dh has the next two days off work, which normally would be good but all I want to do is be alone and cry without feeling like I am ruining his birthday by being sad. We went and saw Lincoln today - it was really good, but of course the ending made me cry.

I feel the same way about this as after my dad died, or any other really sad and awful thing that has happened. That it is going to take a while for me to get used to that broken piece being gone. Like a broken tooth that you can't stop feeling for. I am really regretting bringing a child into this world where I can't protect her from evil. And just now she has started to worry about me dying and I can't really tell her what she wants to hear. She hasn't heard anything about what happened and for that I am grateful.

:comfort: Katy, I think we're in the same boat. I didn't have a busy weekend, but I holed up and cried and was pretty lazy. I did my housework and baked with Conner, but we didn't go anywhere. I just didn't want to. It made it terribly difficult to go to work, and all day not only did I want to cry all day, but I felt really, really strongly that I didn't belong there. I belonged at home with my kids.

:hugs: from me too, katy. I would have loved to see Louis CK and am jealous ;), but can completely relate to the sadness you feel. I still feel totally wiped out over it too. I'm trying to stay optimistic, and it's hard. I keep remembering something an old college friend of mine said a couple decades ago, that there have probably been innumerable times throughout history that people have seen unspeakable terrors happening around them and thought to themselves "this must be the end of the world". And yet life has soldiered on, humans have innovated and been there for each other, and you, Katy, still have beautiful art in you to create, and so I try to hang on to some positivity. Come to think of it, though, I feel a little like crying right now too

Maybe this will cheer you guys up. Last Friday, while the awfulness of CT was still so raw, we carried out our planned "Teddy Bear Sleepover" at the local library. 30 kids brought over their stuffed buddies, and my friend & I (along with the librarians, their nieces and one therapy dog named Ella) staged scenes of the animals getting library cards, reading, playing Twister, eating pizza, goofing around with the copier and camping out after hours. The next day, the kids came back to collect their buddies and watched their antics in a slideshow. I had to fly to Vegas, so I missed the slideshow, but the kids & parents LOVED it. Here it is, if you'd like to see the animals in action: http://www.mylah.com/parte/TeddyBearSleepover.pdf

Ashley, xmas card = Adorbs!! :D

That is so precious! I bet the kids loved it!!!

That is very sweet. This Friday is going to be Polar Express day and he gets to wear pajamas to school. He's really excited!

Been too busy arguing pointlessly with all the pro-gun folks out there to post much here :laugh:

Had a good time at the museum on Saturday, although the kidlet is too young to get much out of it. She did love the ride there and back, and ran around one of the galleries telling everyone that our sun is going to go supernova and go KABOOM! Then she played with the teddy bears and geodes in the gift shop, got freaked out by butterflies landing on her (They have FEATHERS!), looked at some bugs, some dinosaur bones, touched shark, megaladon and elephant teeth, and then crashed on the train on the way back.

We are thinking about going to Dutch Winter Wonderland in Pennsylvania on Saturday. It sounds like it is geared towards the littles, and something she'd enjoy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Suja

Been too busy arguing pointlessly with all the pro-gun folks out there to post much here :laugh:

Had a good time at the museum on Saturday, although the kidlet is too young to get much out of it. She did love the ride there and back, and ran around one of the galleries telling everyone that our sun is going to go supernova and go KABOOM! Then she played with the teddy bears and geodes in the gift shop, got freaked out by butterflies landing on her (They have FEATHERS!), looked at some bugs, some dinosaur bones, touched shark, megaladon and elephant teeth, and then crashed on the train on the way back.

We are thinking about going to Dutch Winter Wonderland in Pennsylvania on Saturday. It sounds like it is geared towards the littles, and something she'd enjoy.

---

That should be fun. I bet she'll love it.

And as far as arguing gun control, I've hidden many pro-gun people from my feed and it's all I can do to not remove them from my friends list. It boils down to being selfish to me. If we all ban together, we can stop this but they just don't wanna. Apparently their 'right' to own those guns and large clips of ammo is more important to them than children's lives. It's just absolutely sickening to me. If no one has them, then no one can get them. Not even the criminals Duh. We have to do something. A lot of somethings.

I have removed 2 people for starting debates with me on my page about it. It's my FB. I'm posting what I think.

I've been on a hiatus from the internets since the shooting. It is just too much for me to think of and I admit when I heard of the kindergarteners I immediately thought of our little kinders in this room and it was too much for me so I have had the TV off and stayed off the internet since that time and will limit TV until they stop talking about it so much in the media.

Luckily, I don't have many annoying gun fanatic friends on FB just one guy who is a conspiracy theorist and somewhat racist old high school classmate that I love to go back and forth with, but didn't have the energy recently even though he is speaking of how the president orchestrated this whole thing in order to ram gun control down our throats lol. He is always a source of comedy to me and it is amazing that a lot of his friends take him seriously and they also go on and on about the orchestration of this and other violent events amongst other incidents. Luckily none of our other former classmates who I regularly communicate with on FB say anything in agreement with him so I think our high school had a good ratio or normal to abnormal and that makes me glad.

I have been also dealing with having to have my aunt come move in with me and DH agreeing about everything then changing his mind at the last minute. I have been really tired as I'm doing a lot at work and at home trying to get everything set up for my aunt and her 2 boys and get storage and deal with sending Christmas gifts to Toledo as we are going there for Christmas and I don't want to cart everything there. So there has been a lot going on and DH is just working my nerves, seemingly on purpose and he got afraid yesterday because I told him that he is pushing me to the edge and will make me take the kids and go get an apartment after the start of the new year. I also told him that I would cancel the rental car and just book some flights to visit my family without him. This after he asked me if we could take half of the week next week to go see his mom and family/friends in Chicago for Christmas. We just recently visited Chicago in September and he has been there at least 6 times over the course of this past year. I haven't seen my mom in 2 years period and haven't been to her house for Christmas in 4 years so I thought it very inconsiderate of him to even suggest I take half of the planned time that my mom is really looking forward to us being there and going to Chicago. Then he said he could go visit a friend of his in Detroit for a couple days so I figured he didn't want to vacation with us for the holidays and that since he didn't want to we could cut to the chase and he could go do whatever while me and kids went and visited my mom. I was pretty angry with him and stern and it frightened him and he called my mom afraid I was leaving him lol and wanted her to "talk some sense" into me. But I truly don't want him to come if he is going to be an a$$hole and try to ruin my time with my family. He also implied that my younger brothers and my family in general has "issues" which is true of my older brother but not the younger ones and I think everyones family has some issues. His are the relatives who will ask people to bring turkeys to Thanksgiving lol. My family wouldn't do that. He also has some characters that trump any of my family members in his own, yet I don't think of them any less or try to get out of visiting his family like he does mine and always welcomed them whenever they needed to crash with us. I think he is doing this on purpose because he knows I am dealing with trying to get everything together for everyone. It was hilarious because after I got home last night he was all sugar sweet to me and speaking to me like I was a baby.

Erin

Oh Erin! I can't help but laugh because of the way you write things...but it's really not funny what your dh is trying to pull on you. Good for you sticking up for yourself. Somehow, I have no doubt that if it came right down to it, you'd have no issues telling him goodbye and moving on. That must scare the crap outta him!!! :laugh:

Good for you, Erin. I'm glad you don't let your DH get away with his antics.

A true confession from me today in this confessions thread: I realized at lunchtime today that I had been wearing my undies backwards! And I couldn't be bothered changing them around, so here I sit with backwards knicky knacky knoos on. (I did think this morning when I put them on that they felt a bit funny!)

:lol:

omg-Ash! knicky knacky knoos?! You kill me!

:laugh: Ash that is funny!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by missychrissy

:lol:

omg-Ash! knicky knacky knoos?! You kill me!

---

Travis calls them that. My MIL started it because she calls all people's underwear 'knickers,' so Travis calls them his knicks or his knicky knacky knoos.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AmeriBrit

Travis calls them that. My MIL started it because she calls all people's underwear 'knickers,' so Travis calls them his knicks or his knicky knacky knoos.

---

:wub: That's just too darn cute!

I got an email invite for a face-to-face interview. Nearly 5 hours on the Wednesday we return from break (Jan 2nd). I heard through the grapevine it's between me and one other person.

Oooh Chrissy!

That is now two interviews we are thinking good thoughts for....one for you and one for Ashley! Right?

Yes, Ash.

I'm not sure I'm very thrilled about mine. It's very corporate. I mean, why wouldn't it be? It's Cornell's Business School. They're kinda a big deal and totally take themselves seriously. The IT staff can't even wear jeans there. That will suck. And I'm pretty close with my IT team. Just today Ted was sitting on my lap in Faye's cube and I was scratching his back. Not in a 'sexy' flirty kinda way, but because we're genuinely close friends. You don't get that just anywhere.

Now, now, stop second guessing! Once you get the job(and I know you will), you can decide whether the stress is compensated by having great coworkers.

Ash, that's adorable! I first heard that term in one of Mira's CDs. http://www.nurseryrhymes4u.com/NURSE.../Page_859.html

Good luck Ash and Chrissy on the interviews!

Yes, best of luck to both of you!

Good luck ladies! Change is so exciting.

So I need a little advice. This morning dbf asked me (for the 5th time) as we were getting ready to leave for piano lessons, how much it costs. Then (for the 5th time) he acted surprised by the cost, even though I discussed it with him before we started. Then he said, "That's so much money. I hope they are getting something out of it". This just pisses me off. First of all, WHY would I do it if they weren't getting anything out of it. Second of all, I've told him a few times now how great it is and how hard they are working. And third of all, if you have serious concerns about the money then bring them to me that way and not with snide remarks as we are leaving the house. And it's truly not that much. It averages out to less than $100 for both of them to take lessons (and she even works with Sawyer a bit! It's so cute lol)

Well I'm getting ready to sign Kai up for martial arts and also looking for someone to teach them German. So these things will cost money but they are very important. I really want them to start learning a 2nd language early and Kai really needs something physical to do on a regular basis. I don't want him to give me **** about money when it comes to things for them. There are things he is spending money on that I don't find necessary but I let him make those decisions.

So I would like to talk to his mom about the possiblity of using some of the money in the account that her and his dad have started for the children. It's building quickly as they do not buy gifts for any holidays or bdays but instead put money in the account. What I would need in order to pay for these three things for a year would be a very small portion of that account. And it IS for their education. Dbf says absolutely not as if the very idea disgusts him. He's like, "I'll make it work" as if he is a hero or something but my point being if he truly thinks we cannot afford it, I have a solution. If we can truly afford it, then be supportive and stop trying to make me feel guilty about it. Is there ANYTHING more important than their education? Not to me. I'm not asking to buy them a bouncy house.

So I'm thinking about talking to his mom anyway. She is supportive of homeschooling and I think she'd be more than ok with it. Am I way off base here?

Under normal circumstances, I'd cringe at going behind the other's back (so to speak) about something like this-or doing it against their wishes anyway. But your dbf isn't behaving reasonably about it at all and it's not like you'll ever be able to trust him to not whine about the $ even if he agrees with you (for a while) not to do it in front of the kids. In your case, I might be tempted to tell him that the next time he makes a comment like that, you're going to discuss it with his mother whether he likes it or not.

It's not fair for him to say he'll make it work and then continue to make you feel guilty about it. I say ask his mom for it. She'll probably give it to you gladly and not make it feel like a burden like he is.

If it were me in your place, Bridget, I would definitely speak to your MIL about it. I have in the past spoken to my MIL about things when my DH has been too stubborn about things.

What is the money supposed to be for the kids? Seems like a good reason to use it! Does he have a reason why not to use it? Otherwise I might talk to MIL too.

are you ready for Draco headed your way? Blah we were just an advisory getting a few inches and suddenly we are in the warning zone and saying 5-9. I just hate driving in snow but since I have to work tomorrow.....